Tessa McDermid - Family Stories (19 page)

"I've seen you with him."

"What? Who?"

Anne swallowed. She'd never planned to say the words out loud. Thinking them had been bad enough. "I saw you going to the movies the other night. Daddy was stil working. You walked right into the movie theater, your arms around each other—"

"What?"

The shout startled Anne into silence. Her mother might raise her voice to Frank but her tone with the girls was usual y quiet. Even when she was scolding them, she kept her voice low and even, the words a bit colder when she was disappointed.

Anne's heart pounded under the suit she'd tugged on with such excitement a little while earlier.

"How can you say such an ugly thing?" Marian burst out. Her hands were tightly clasped at her waist. "I love your father! I would never go out with another man."

Anne stared at her mother. Was she protesting too much? "You used to go dancing when we were at the lake."

"I was younger, very foolish and didn't consider how it would look. But I never cheated on your father. Several of us wives met for a few hours of fun. That's al it was."

"Daddy left you." Anne voiced her bigger concern, that Frank would leave them.

Marian smiled, a faraway look in her eyes. "We were always leaving each other. Or threatening to leave. We hadn't figured out how to solve our problems together." She reached toward Anne, but Anne ducked away.

Marian gave a rueful shake of her head. "One day, Annie, you'll learn for yourself how tricky married life can be."

Not me, she thought. I'm going to col ege next year and then getting a job. No man's going to mess up my future.

"I did see you," she insisted.

Her mother shook her head a second time. "I was never with another man, Annie. I shouldn't justify your accusations with answers but I want this resolved." She settled against the back of the davenport. "When did you see me?"

Anne shifted on her cushion. Her mother looked too comfortable.

Could I be wrong? Anne wondered. But she hadn't been alone that night. "Emily saw you, too. Last Tuesday, when we went to the library to study. We walked by the movie theater and Emily said she saw—"

Anne hesitated. The library was nowhere near the downtown movie theater. But her whereabouts weren't the topic of discussion.

"What did Emily see?" Marian prompted.

Anne cleared her throat. "She saw you and another man. When she gasped, I turned around. She didn't say anything, just pointed. Then she said she saw you and another man walking into the theater, your arms around each other."

"Did you see me?"

Another pause. "I saw a man and woman duck into lobby. She was wearing a coat like your red one."

Marian nodded. "I see." She edged forward and cal ed down the hal , "Margaret! Would you come here, please?"

Margaret clumped into the room. "What?"

Marian ignored her aggrieved tone. "Would you please tel Annie where we were Tuesday night? When she was studying at the library?"

Anne cringed at the emphasis her mother placed on the last words. Marian was aware she hadn't gone straight to the library that night.

But Marian didn't make any other mention of that. Instead, she smiled at Margaret. "Tel Annie," she urged again.

"We were at school. Mom was helping with our rehearsal for the closing day assembly and talent show."

"It was Tuesday, correct?" Marian prompted.

Margaret nodded. "Yes, Tuesday. The assembly was Thursday and we couldn't practice on Wednesday because of church. Can I go now?"

"Yes. Thank you, Mags."

The room was silent after Margaret's departure. "I'm waiting," Marian final y said.

"I'm sorry." Anne whispered the words.

"Thank you. Now, about your not going to the library Tuesday..."

So much for thinking she was out of the woods. She decided to brazen it out. "Mom, I'm a senior next year. I shouldn't have to tel you everywhere I go."

"Oh?"

"We, well, we, um, did go to the library..." She stumbled over the words. "Emily needed to meet a friend before we studied. So we stopped downtown at the malt shop...."

"And then walked by the movie theater, where your friend just happened to see your mother with another man."

Marian rested her hand on Anne's wrist. "Anne, honey, you know there's a reason we don't like you wandering around downtown at night."

"The Lindbergh baby kidnapping?" Her mother didn't often refer to that time, and Anne only knew about it from old newspaper stories. But the kidnapping had affected her growing-up years and those of al the children in her generation.

"Mom, nobody's going to kidnap us! Why would they?" Her father was part of the city council and her mother was involved with city and church committees. But they weren't rich. They didn't have anything for ransom.

"Annie, that's not why we don't want you going downtown at night."

"Then what?"

Her mother lowered her chin, her expression stating more clearly than words that she expected better of her daughter. "Nothing but trouble can happen if young women are wandering around town after dark."

"Mom! You can trust me. I'm almost the same age you were when you married Daddy. And I'm going to col ege in a year."

"I know, dear. And it's not you I worry about. It's your friends. If they are friends," she added quietly.

Anne stared at her mother. "What?"

"Annie, Emily made up that story to protect herself. She was supposed to go to the library, too. Her mother and I talked that evening, about you studying together. Her mother was saying how pleased she was that you and Emily were friends, that she'd been nervous about some of the other girls Emily went around with."

Anne felt disloyal, listening to her mother talk about Emily this way. "She's my friend, Mother."

"And she told you a he about your mother. In other words, she manipulated you—how could you possibly reveal what she did? She might repeat the scandal about your mother."

Marian waited a moment. "She's not a very nice friend, Annie."

''Okay, maybe she made a mistake. But I thought I saw you, too!"

"Anne, how many women do you think have coats like mine? It's not that unusual a style."

Anne squeezed her eyes shut. Her mother sounded so plausible. And Emily did know about her parents'

earlier arguments and the times they'd separated. The two girls had spent the last few weeks sharing family secrets, whispering in their bedrooms when they should've been studying. Had Emily intended to lie hi had she real y believed she'd seen Marian? Anne could no longer be sure....

"I'm so sorry, Mama!" She threw herself into Marian's arms, tears flowing down her cheeks.

Marian smoothed her hand along Anne's hair, her touch soothing. Anne couldn't stop crying, al the anxiety of the last few days overwhelming her.

She final y sat up, sniffling until Marian handed her a handkerchief. Anne blew her nose, wadding the hanky in her fist. "I'm sorry, Mama," she repeated.

Marian tucked Anne's hair behind her ears. "I did plan to watch you swim. I was even going to use my position as your mother to push to the front of the crowd. But by the time I got home, I knew I'd be far too late."

She smiled and wiped a last tear from Anne's cheek. "Better now?"

Anne nodded. "You and Daddy aren't going to get a divorce?"

Marian laughed. "Honey, if we've stayed together this long, we can stay together a few more years. There's nothing to worry about." She kissed Anne's cheek. "Now, go wash up for dinner. You don't want your father to see those red eyes."

Anne scurried down the hal way. If her father asked her what was the matter, she'd start crying al over again.

She had so wanted Emily to be wrong—but she hadn't believed Emily would lie to her. They were supposed to be best friends.

She flung herself on the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

If her father knew she'd even suspected it could be her mother going into that theater, he would be so disappointed in her. She tried to swal ow her tears. She couldn't stand the thought of disappointing him.

At supper, Alice chatted about Anne's performance and Marian suggested that maybe later they could enjoy a private family show. "I've seen you practice," she said to Anne. "I would love to see the entire performance."

Margaret mentioned an upcoming community play and Frank promised to buy tickets for the entire family.

Anne barely spoke, afraid to trust her voice. She stil felt shaky.

The younger girls offered to do the dishes without any prompting. Frank settled in his chair with the newspaper; Marian picked up her magazine. Anne opened the closet door and took out her coat.

"I'm going to the library," she announced, glad her voice didn't waver.

Frank lowered his paper. "Be home by nine."

She nodded, kissing the top of his head. She paused at her mother's side. "I'm going to the library," she said.

"I have a book to return and I want to find another one."

Her mother smiled. "I trust you, sweetheart."

The words pierced Anne's heart, and she could feel the tears wel ing up. With a muffled goodbye, she hurried out the door.

The summer passed quickly. She worked at the pool as a lifeguard, glowing at the continued attention her swimming received. Her instructor thought she should apply at one of the tourist attractions down south that featured swimming mermaids, but she was determined to go to col ege. The first step to breaking out of the smal town and seeing the world.

During the next school year, she was more observant of her parents and how they treated each other. She'd never noticed before how often her father touched her mother's shoulder or bent down to whisper something in her ear. The way her mother would glow when Frank came into the room or the girlish giggle I hat escaped her lips, often after one of those secretive whispers. Sometimes embarrassed by their displays of affection, she nevertheless hoped to find the same sort of love for herself.

But not for many years to come. She had places to go and people to see. Europe. The ocean. New York City.

Love would have to wait.

Chapter 13

Midwest Iowa Col ege

September 1949

"He's looking this way again. Right at you, Anne." Barb giggled.

Anne didn't turn. "You're being ridiculous," she hissed. "No, she's not." Susan shot a quick glance over her shoulder. "He's been staring at you since we came in. He's real y cute. Al that dark hair and those broad shoulders."

The registration line moved slowly forward. Anne clutched her purse to her chest, willing herself not to look, even inadvertently, at the next line.

The three girls had been assigned to the same room in the dorm. Anne had been nervous, not sure she could share a room with strangers. But Barb and Susan had already erased her fears, their bubbly personalities pul ing her along with them to the beginning-of-the-year activities.

Now they waited to pick up their schedules. The lines were divided by year, which meant the young man watching her was I sophomore.

"He's coming over here, Anne!"

A wave of panic spread over her. "He is not!"

"Hi."

She raised her head and met clear gray eyes. "Hel o." His voice was deep, sending a ripple down her spine.

"My name is Richard Sanders."

"Umm." She swallowed. What was her name? "I'm...Anne Kobertson. And these are my roommates, Barb Taylor and Susan Campbel ."

A tal , lanky boy with a shock of blond hair joined them. "Come on, Richard, let's get out of here."

"In a minute." He smiled at Anne, and her knees threatened to buckle. "See you around?"

She nodded, watching as he loped after his friend.

Barb sighed. "He's a dream, Anne."

"I think we're looking at the future Mrs. Richard Sanders."

Anne's head swiveled back to her friends. "Oh, you are not!" She pressed her hand against the flutter in her stomach. "My dad would die if he thought I was using his money to find a husband. I came here for an education!"

Barb and Susan grinned at each other. "Maybe a husband wil be part of your education," Susan said. Barb laughed, and Anne felt a tiny thril of anticipation.

The week passed without a cal from him. Her parents checked in to see if she was getting settled and she babbled on the phone about her roommates, her classes, the weather. She asked about the shop and the new store they'd opened in Des Moines. Anything to avoid mentioning the boy she'd seen in line that first day.

"See?" she said Friday night. "He was just being nice. "They were sitting on the floor, painting their toenails.

"He was not," Barb argued. "He'll cal ."

Anne shrugged, adding pink polish to her little toe. "He won't. Besides, like I said, my dad would not be happy if I'm daydreaming over a guy when I should be studying."

"Daydreaming?" Susan asked. "But you're too high-minded to care about anything except your classes.

That's what she says, isn't it, Barb?"

Barb's answer was lost in a shout from down the hal . "Robertson, phone!"

Anne froze. "Did she say me?"

Barb pried the nail polish brush out of her hand. "Go on. I bet it's him."

"It's probably Mom or Dad." Her voice sounded normal, and she hoped no one could tel her insides were doing a complicated somersault.

"They already cal ed this week," Susan reminded her. "Go."

"Hel o?" she said tentatively into the receiver. Barb and Susan had crowded into the narrow booth with her.

"Hi, is this Anne Robertson?"

It was him. "Yes."

"This is Richard Sanders. You may not remember me, but we met in line when we were picking up our schedules."

She paused. "Oh, yes. I remember. How are you?"

Very cool, Susan mouthed. Anne shifted as much as possible so she couldn't see their faces.

"I'm fine. I was wondering, there's a sing-along in the student center tomorrow night. Would you like to go with me?"

"Tomorrow? Wel ..." She felt a punch on her back. "Yes, I'd love to."

"Good. I'll pick you up about seven, okay? See you then."