Testament (22 page)

The warm water splashed against my skin, and I closed my eyes in ecstasy. It was hard remembering when a bath, if that’s what you could call splashing in the sink, had felt so good. When I finished, I wrapped a towel around me and padded over to the clothes pile. I rummaged around until I found an Oxford sweatshirt that was probably two sizes too big, which I coupled with a pair of jeans.

Once I dressed, I felt almost human again. A glance at my ratty hair sent me leaning over the sink to wash it as best I could with some of Artie’s shampoo. When I finished, I leaned underneath the dryer and began drying my hair.

I glanced up to find Maureen changed into a pair of jeans and a black and silver striped shirt. She pulled her long blonde hair into a ponytail. Out of the prison scrubs, she looked years younger. “You clean up well,” I called from underneath the dryer.

She laughed. “I much prefer jeans and shirts over dress suits and heels. I guess I was never made out to be a CEO’s wife, least of all an Empress.”

The dryer turned off. “I think you did a pretty good job. In fact, I think you’d be a great leader for the province.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” she replied, patting me as she headed out of the bathroom.

I picked up Artie’s comb and tried getting the knots out of my hair. I was almost finished when I heard a voice behind me. “Hey, did you fall in?” Micah asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“I’m just finishing up, Mr. Impatient,” I replied.

“Artie has some sandwiches and soup ready for you.”

“Okay.”

Micah whisked his shirt over his head, and I gasped. Angry red whelps from the whip crisscrossed his chest. At my horrified expression, he gazed down. A flush entered his cheeks. “Yeah, guess that isn’t real attractive, huh? With the scars, they’ll be no male modeling in my future.”

I couldn’t fight the tears or my mouth. “You’re such an idiot. I don’t care what your chest looks like now or if you’re going to have scars. I care about how much they hurt you!” I turned away from him, grinding the tears from my eyes with my fists.

Micah’s hands gently rubbed my shoulders. “I’m sorry, Cadence. I know you’re not a shallow person to think about things like that. It’s just, I don’t know how to deal with it all. Especially since you’ve got Mr. Perfect out there drooling all over you.”

I whirled back around. “Are you still worried I’m going to choose him over you?”

Micah ducked his head and then nodded.

“Men!” I huffed. “You’re utterly unbelievable!” When Micah raised his head, my temper got the best of me, and I decided to
show
him, rather than
tell
him exactly how I felt about him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him towards me. My breath was hot on his cheek as I said, “Now let this put any doubt you had to rest.” Then I crushed my lips to his with such intensity I sent him stumbling backwards. Of course, he ended up taking me with him, and we crashed back into the sink, knocking some toiletries to the floor.

I poured everything I had into that kiss. While I’d set out to prove a point to Micah, it was easy to get lost in my own emotions. At that moment, it felt like there was nothing else in the world besides each other. We weren’t fugitives from the law. We weren’t Believers on the run for our lives. We weren’t on the cusp of a full-on revolution. We were just would-be lovers.

As I slid my tongue against his warm lips, I didn’t care we were in the back of a dingy subway coffee shop where Maureen and Kellan were only a few feet away. All I cared about was Micah and my somewhat out of control hormones.

And if our lip lock sent me tripping, it took Micah completely over the edge. With shock and amusement, I revoked his Gentleman’s status as his hands roamed freely over me. One brush with death and he became Don Juan, eliciting moans from me as his hands slid under my sweatshirt and over my bra. I tightened my arms around him as his hands moved across my ribcage to dig into my hips. In one fluid motion, he lifted me onto the sink. Hooking my legs over his hips, I pulled him closer to me and arched my body against his.

When he jerked away, I whimpered. Desire burned in his eyes, but he shook his head. “We’ve got to stop,” he panted.

“Why?” I gasped.

“Because we’ll end up doing something we’ll both regret.”

“Huh?” I asked, as my fingers dug into his shoulders, pulling him closer again.

 Micah groaned and jerked back. “Look, I don’t want to take your virginity in an old coffee shop bathroom!”

His point came crashing down on me. “Oh,” I murmured, a flush of embarrassment, not desire, rushing to my cheeks. We stood there with our chests heaving, trying to catch our breath. I bit my lip to try to keep the question in, but I couldn’t help myself and blurted. “Are you disappointed I’m a virgin?”

He rolled his eyes and leaned towards me again. “Don’t be stupid, Cadence.” His thumbs rubbed along the length of my cheekbones. “I love everything about you, and I’ll be thrilled and honored to take your virginity—just not right here.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“So, um, you aren’t one?”

“No, my first time was when I was fifteen, and it was a situation kinda like this.” I guess he realized my curiosity because he grinned sheepishly. “It was in a closet at one of the relocation camps. I don’t even remember her name. It was one of those, ‘Hey the world’s gone crazy so why don’t we go crazy, too!’ kinda moments. Definitely
not
the most romantic experience I ever had.” He leaned into me and brought his hands up to push my hair back from my face. “And I want better for you. It should be beautiful and special.”

My heartbeat accelerated at his words, and I shivered with anticipation. It was moments like these I wondered how I ever doubted the intensity of my feelings for him.

A throat cleared behind us. When Micah turned, Kellan was framed in the doorway. The expression on his face told me he’d seen more than he should have.

“Artie wanted me to tell you the food’s getting cold,” Kellan said.

“I’ll be right there,” I replied, trying to smooth my hair down from where Micah’s fingers had destroyed it during our moment of passion.

Kellan nodded and then walked away.

When I looked up to see the glint on Micah’s face, I slapped his arm. “Hey, what’s with the violence?” he demanded.

“You loved every second of that, didn’t you?”

“Excuse me if I don’t feel sorry for the poor, handsome rich boy.”

“You could try just a little bit. He’s going through a lot, and the two of us together doesn’t help things.”

Micah held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’ll try being more warm and fuzzy with rich boy.”

“Thank you,” I said.

He grinned. “Now would you please get out of here, so I can finish undressing without having to worry about offending your virgin eyes?”

“Oh please, I have an older brother. You don’t have anything I haven’t already seen,” I argued.

With his grin widening, Micah brought his hand to the button of his jeans. “Well, then, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

I sighed in exasperation. “On that note, I’m going to dinner.”

When I left the bathroom, I ran into Kellan, but I couldn’t meet his gaze. Instead, I sidestepped him and eased down at the table where Artie had set out a bowl of soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. By the time I looked up, he had disappeared into the bathroom.

I picked up my spoon and smiled at Artie across the table. “This looks delicious. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I wish I could have had more, but I don’t get to the store but once a month. Things just don’t keep.”

“This is more than fine, Artie,” Maureen assured. “Besides, you didn’t actually know we were coming.”

Rubbing the stubble on his chin, he nodded. “I guess that’s true.”

While Maureen and Artie caught up on old times, I devoured every crumb of my sandwich and almost turned up the soup bowl to slurp out of it. The last good meal I’d eaten had been at the palace dinner. I’d been so nervous about Micah’s and my escape that I hadn’t been able to eat much.

Then with a full stomach, I began to nod at the table. I woke up to Micah nudging me. “Hey sleepyhead, why don’t you go lie down?”

I yawned. “Maybe that’s a good idea.”

As I stood up, Maureen did as well. “I know it’s still early in our old time, but I think we all ought to try to get some rest.”

We all stared at the two queen sized mattresses. “Um, how are we handling the sleeping arrangements?” Micah asked.

Without looking at any of us, Maureen said, “I think it’s best that Cadence and I sleep together, and you and Kellan.”

Both Micah and Kellan started to protest, but Maureen raised her hand to silence them. “These might be the nicest accommodations we have for a long time. And you two need to realize that we’re all on the same team here.”

Micah snorted, and Kellan rolled his eyes. I turned my back to them and started helping Maureen put new sheets on the mattress.

With a string of mumblings under their breath, Kellan and Micah fixed their bed. “Well goodnight then,” Artie said, before turning out the light and heading to his cot in the backroom.

From the moment we got settled in, Micah and Kellan took turns initiating a symphony of sighs. I felt Maureen tense beside me. After the millionth sigh, she flung off the covers. “Okay, fine. Since you can’t be anything but immature, Micah, get in the bed with Cadence. Then, you two boys won’t have to be together!”

None of us moved—I don’t think we even blinked. “Well, didn’t you hear me?” Maureen prompted.

“Uh, look, I’m sorry. I’ll knock it off and go to sleep,” Micah said.

“Yeah, me too,” Kellan replied.

“Fine,” Maureen said, and then fell back down beside me.

True to their word, they didn’t make another noise. Of course, I didn’t stay awake long enough to notice since sleep overcame me.

A swirling, dreamy world enveloped my subconscious. Once again, the foggy mist snaked around my ankles and filled the air around me. This time when the fog cleared, I found myself walking through a field of wildflowers instead of a tunnel. Then the sky began to darken, and the field was cast in shadows under a lone, bright star. As I stared up at it, I pleaded, “Won’t you help me?” And then the star moved across the sky and became eclipsed by a crescent moon. Once again, I raised my face to the sky. “Please help me…help me help Kellan.”

Then the beautiful dark skinned girl from before came across the field. She took my hand in hers, and when I looked on her other side, there was Griff.

Before I could hug him and tell him how much I missed him, I jolted awake. Staring up at the ceiling, I caught my breath. What did it all mean? I knew too much about dream interpretation to believe it was all random.

Next to me, Maureen snored softly. I turned over to see Micah’s face practically smashed into his pillow, his breathing heavy. He looked so baby-faced that it brought a smile to my lips. I glanced over him to see Kellan’s side empty.

I rose and looked around the room. I didn’t see him anywhere, so I started for the bathroom when I saw him through the window. He was sitting on one of the benches outside the coffeehouse.

“Hey,” I said, softly, as I closed the door behind me.

“Hey,” he replied, still refusing to look at me.

I eased down beside him. “Can’t sleep?”

He shook his head.

“Yeah, a dream woke me up, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.” I continued talking more for my own benefit than his. “It’s weird because it’s the second time I’ve dreamed it. Well, I’ve dreamed similar parts of it. It sucks that I’ve never been able to interpret my own dreams.” Kellan still didn’t respond. “You were in the dream.”

He cut his eyes over to me. “As what, the loser?”

I recoiled back from the hurtfulness of his tone. “Please don’t be that way.”

“How else would you like me to be?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Shrugging, I said, “Just anything but this.”

Kellan rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Tentatively, I touched his arm. When he jerked away, I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry that I hurt you—that I continue to hurt you. And I’m sorry I can’t be with you the way you want me to. But more than anything, I’m sorry that we can’t at least be friends because I do care about you, and I enjoyed being with you these past few days—well, some parts of them.”

When Kellan didn’t answer me, I started to get up and go back to bed. “Wait,” he said. I hovered between sitting and standing. “I’m sorry, too.”

Exhaling sharply, I sat back on the bench. “You are?”

He nodded. “I’ve been acting like a complete and utter asshole.”

“Wow,” I murmured.

A small smile curled on his lips. “What, are you not going to argue with me on that one?”

I laughed. “Um, no, not really. I mean, yes, you’ve been an asshole, but I can understand why.”

“Don’t get too proud of me, though. I’m not saying I’m completely over everything that happened or that seeing you and Micah doesn’t kill me inside, but I realize I’ve got to get over it.”

I leaned back against the building and stared out into the black vastness. “In a perfect world, we wouldn’t have been thrown together like this. We could have been apart—given each other time to heal. But everything about this situation is wrong,” I said.