Tethered (68 page)

“Oh god,” I slapped a palm to my forehead. “I’m such a bad mom. I can’t believe I just left her there like that.” I got off of my board and picked it up and tucked it under my arm and started to walk back.

Emmet did the same, but said “You’re not a bad mom. Emmy and Luke are there and you knew that when you went outside.”

“Yeah, but Emmy doesn’t like black babies,” I said and giggled to myself at an inside joke that had come to be during a heartbreaking experience I shared with Emmy.

“What?” Emmet looked at me like I was crazy.

“Nothing,” I said. “I still shouldn’t have just run out like that.”

“Well, we won’t do it again,” Emmet said and then took my hand.

We walked hand in hand back to the house, talking quietly about nothing serious – like about the box that was clearly all about me, or his divorce, or mine, and we definitely did not talk about our hands linked together and the tether that hummed contently between us.

Chapter Fifty-Seven

I tapped on Emmet’s door and walked in without waiting for an answer. He was just out of the shower and pulling a t-shirt on. I watched as the shirt was pulled down over his taut abdomen and felt disappointed that he covered it up.

“Can I help you?” Emmet asked, snapping my attention to his face. He smiled smugly, well aware of what I was looking at.

“Uh…right. Yes,” I said shaking my head to clear it. “Yes, you can. I am taking Rosa and Owen for a walk. Would you like to come?”

“I would love to come,” he said in a low voice that made my whole body tingle.

“Okay, great, I’ll be downstairs,” I said in a rush and hurried out of his room and back downstairs to the kids.

It had been a few weeks since Emmet and I skateboarded off into the night like a couple of teenagers. Our days of politely avoiding one another were over. Conversation came easily for us and there were no more awkward morning goodbyes. We started texting each other during the day while he was working and there were nights when we would sit up talking until our voices were hoarse and one or both of us couldn’t keep our eyes open anymore. We would always retreat to our own bedrooms rather than fall asleep together, but he held my hand when we went out – and that was something new, too. We went out to dinner, lunch, or went to the grocery store together, and sometimes we just took the kids to the park.

Today my walk had a purpose, though he didn’t know that yet. I guided him and the kids around the corner and onto the next street. When we got to a big yellow house with a SOLD sticker stamped over a For Sale sign, I stopped on the sidewalk in front of it.

“What do you think?” I asked Emmet.

“What do you mean?” Emmet asked me as he picked Rosa up into his arms.

With my fingers lazily moving through Owen’s hair, I asked “Do you like it?”

He looked away from me and back at the house. “Yeah, it’s nice. Why?”

“I bought it.”

“You buyed a house?” Owen asked incredulously.

Emmet looked at Owen and then at me. “Yeah. You buyed a house?”

I smiled and shook my head at the father and son. “Yes, I
bought
a house –this house,” I said pointing to it.

“You sneaky little brat,” Emmet said, staring at me disbelievingly.

“Let’s go inside and look around,” I said and took Owen’s hand.

A minute later we were walking into the spacious foyer and stepping onto a beautiful hardwood floor. Emmet put Rosa down and she and Owen took off to go explore the house.

“Whoa! You buyed a big house, Donnie!” Owen shouted from the living room.

Rosa tried to shout the same thing but it came out in baby babble as she tried to keep up with Owen. I showed Emmet the kitchen with its marble counters and view of Emmy’s back yard which was right up against mine. I showed him the large laundry room, and the mudroom off of that and we even looked inside the large garage. The large dining room was promising for hosting the family dinners I had gotten accustomed to doing with Luke’s family, since they assimilated Rosa and me into the family almost instantly. There was a full bathroom, a formal living room and a family room, and an office.

We took the kids upstairs and explored the five bedrooms and two and a half baths up there. The master bedroom had a skylight and the on suite bathroom had a large garden tub and a separate shower stall. The kids went in and out of closets, opened and closed doors, and ran back and forth between the bedrooms.

“Rosa this is your room,” Owen said and pointed to the floor. “Stay there and I’ll go to my room.”

He started to walk away and Rosa began to follow.

“No, stay here,” Owen said patiently, gesturing with his little hands. He walked to one side of the room to a door that led to a joint bathroom shared with a bedroom the same size as the one we were standing in.

“Now I’m in my room,” he shouted to Rosa from the other room.

“Wowo?” she called.

“You can come to my room, Rosa, but it’s a boy’s room. So, you can’t always come in here.”

Rosa ran off in her little toddler run to go be with Owen.

Emmet and I stood by the door laughing. As we followed the kids through the house for a while longer, I asked Emmet again what he thought.

“It’s great,” he said, smiling sadly at me.

“Why are you unhappy?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“I’m not unhappy,” he sighed.

I punched his arm and made him stop to look at me. “Hello? It’s me you’re talking to. I know how you’re feeling without even trying.”

A long time ago, I may have put my hand over his heart and told him that we were connected, but I didn’t do that this time. I crossed my arms again and fisted my hands.

He stood with his feet apart, one arm folded and his hand on his chin as he watched the kids. He looked so damn sexy in his basic green t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

“You’re going to move out of Emmy’s,” he said finally.

“I’m moving literally a yard away,” I pointed out.

“I know, but you’re moving on already and I’m…I don’t know…stagnant. At first I stayed because I didn’t know what to do. Then I was getting to know my sister again.” He looked at me suddenly. “I threw her away, Donya. I didn’t want to look at her and be reminded of you, but I was wrong. She’s still my sister – my little sister – and I don’t know what happened to her while I was avoiding her all of these years, but I know I wasn’t there to protect her like I should have been. I feel like I have a lot to make up to her.”

“You do have a lot to make up to her,” I said quietly and then reached out to put a hand on his arm. “But you don’t have to live with her to do that. You have to get on with your life. It’s not like you don’t have the money to do it.”

“You’re right,” he said after a moment. “But it’s still a little embarrassing that after all you went through with Jerry you’re picking yourself up and going full steam ahead while I’m living with my kid sister.”

“I give myself very little time to mourn the things I’ve lost,” I said quietly.

“Really,” he said, looking at me curiously. “Does that apply to all things?”

I knew what he was asking me. He wanted to know if that applied to him, too. Of course it didn’t.

“All things but one,” I said softly. “There are some things…or people that will always stay with me, but even if I’m dying inside, the only way I know how to survive is to keep going.”

I walked away from him then, because all that we had lost over the years suddenly slammed into my chest without warning and it wasn’t something I was prepared to deal with at that moment.

“Okay, kids, let’s go get some lunch,” I said to Rosa and Owen.

“Can we have McDonalds?” Owen asked me as he put his little hand in mine.

“I think McDonalds sounds great.”

I locked up my new home and took Owen’s hand again. Emmet lifted Rosa into his arms and took my free hand and we walked back to Emmy’s linked together.

*~*~*

My divorce was finalized the week after I showed Emmet the house. The media had all kinds of wrong ideas about what broke up our marriage, but I tried not to pay it any mind, especially when they suggested that I cheated on Jerry with Emmet.

I made a quick trip out to New Jersey a couple weeks later to get the rest of my belongings that Jerry had packed up and put in storage and to say goodbye to my Dusky that Mayson had claimed for herself. I hired movers to take my things back to Illinois and had dinner with Mayson and Tabitha before catching a flight back to my new home.

I was exhausted as I entered my house in the early morning hours. It still smelled of fresh paint and…newness. Emmet and Owen helped us pick out the furniture and every day after work Emmet came over to help me put away my new purchases or set up a room a certain way. I even gave Owen his own room, the very one he picked out for himself, because he felt more and more like my own child and I wanted him to have his own space when he was with me.

I went upstairs and stopped first in Owen’s room to check on him, only to find his bed empty. I checked Rosa’s room next and her bed was also empty. I swallowed back any panic that had begun to rise and opened my bedroom door. I sighed with relief and then smiled at the scene before me. Emmet was sleeping in the middle of the bed with both kids curled up on either side of him.
Tangled
was playing on the television. I carefully removed the remote from Emmet’s hand and turned the TV off. I had just resigned myself to sleeping in Owen’s bed or the couch when Emmet’s eyes fluttered open.

“Hey,” he said, smiling sleepily up at me.

“Hey,” I said, smiling back.

“You’re back.”

“Yeah, I just got in.”

“You look tired,” he said with a yawn.

“Exhausted,” I said moving away from the bed. “I’m going to go sleep in Owen’s bed. I have always wanted to sleep under Batman sheets.”

He grinned and said “I thought you were going to say that you’ve always wanted to sleep under Batman.”

I grinned too and said “Well, it depends on which Batman we’re talking about. Michael Keaton isn’t my type and I hated Clooney as Batman.”

“So, that leaves Adam West, Val Kilmer, and Christian Bale,” Emmet said.

“Okay, so I wouldn’t mind sleeping under Christian Bale,” I said with a wicked smile.

Emmet chuckled softly. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“How can I make you jealous of someone that is so far removed from us in this little Chicago suburb?” I asked, laughing.

“Bullshit. I have proof that you personally know Christian Bale,” he said.

“So?” I shrugged. “Christian Bale don’t got nothing on you, honey,” I said sweetly. “Goodnight.”

I waved my fingers and started to walk out of the room, but Emmet called my name as loudly as he dared.

“What now?” I asked, yawning. “I swear to you that I didn’t sleep with Christian Bale.”

“I’m not sure if I really want to know who you’ve slept with besides the three of us that I am aware of.”

“Well, there’s the whole list right there,” I said, throwing my hand up.

Emmet stared at me for several seconds as he tried to ascertain whether or not I was being truthful.

“You can read me like a book, Emmet,” I said and actually felt myself blushing. “You know I’m telling you the truth. Don’t look so surprised about it, though.”

“I’m not surprised, I mean I am, but it’s just…why?”

“Why what?” I asked impatiently.

“Why didn’t you sleep with anyone else? I mean it’s not that I wanted you to, but you have been around some of the most attractive men in the world and I’m sure some of them probably wanted to take you to bed.”

I kicked at Rosa’s shoe that was on the floor and didn’t meet his eyes when I spoke. “It’s hard to have an orgasm while trying to imagine that the guy I’m with is someone else. So, I didn’t bother trying.”

Emmet was quiet for a long time, but I knew he understood my meaning. Even though Jerry was a decent lover, my mind often drifted to Emmet. While some women could pretend and orgasm that way, I couldn’t.

“Anyway,” I breathed out as I again began to turn away. “Goodnight.”

“Wait, Donya, that’s not why I called you back in here. I’m sorry.”

“What did you want?” I asked, daring to look into his face again.

“I just wanted you to lay down with us,” he said gently and beckoned me with his hand. When I only stood there looking at him and the kids, he smiled and said “Just sleep.”

Just sleep
he had said a long time ago with his bed between us.

After another moment of indecision, I kicked off my shoes and climbed into the king size bed next to Rosa.

“Thank you,” he whispered and tucked my hair behind my ear. He began to stroke my hair and it put me at ease. Soon my eyes closed and I began to drift off, but then a thought occurred to me.

“Emmet,” I murmured.

“Hmm?” he responded sleepily.

“Remember what we wanted a long time ago? In New York, in your hotel room?”

He was silent for so long, I didn’t think he remembered, but then he spoke. “I’ve never forgotten,” he whispered.

“If you want me again, all you have to do is ask, or demand, or just take.”
Emmet had teased.

“I will always want you,”
I had answered.
“But that isn’t why I’m looking at you. I’m just trying to imagine us ten years from now. Will it be like this you think?”

“Maybe with a kid sitting in bed with us?”
Emmet said, looking at me with gleaming green eyes.

“Maybe two kids?”
I had smiled.

“We have our two kids,” he said. “But part of the equation has eluded us.”

That made us both sad, and the sleep that had been ready to take me moments before didn’t return for a long time.

*~*~*

I woke up cocooned in Emmet’s strong arms, my head against his chest, my arms and legs wrapped securely around him. I was more comfortable than I had been in years. It felt so damn good and he smelled so damn good and…

I pushed Emmet’s arms off of me and sat up in a panic.

“Where are the kids?”

Emmet bolted up and was on his feet and hurrying out of the room before I could even make it off of the bed. As I stepped out of the bedroom, he was coming out of Rosa’s room.