Texas Secrets (13 page)

Boone exhaled a shuddering breath. He looked away.

Maddie reached up and laid her hands on either side of his face. "Boone...let me in. Please."

The face he turned to her could have been terrifying. To Maddie, it screamed of inner pain. Like a man balanced on a razor's edge, Boone teetered on the brink.

All Maddie could do was hold very still. And hold onto Boone.

Suddenly, he reached for her like a drowning man clawing for shore. With a strength that should have frightened her, Boone pulled her into his body.

But Maddie wasn't afraid. Deep within her, she knew this man would never hurt her. He would hurt himself instead.

Then the time for thought was over. Boone lowered his head to hers and took her mouth.

All around her, Maddie felt his strength, his power.  She yielded gladly, parched almost to dying for his kiss.

Boone couldn't think at all. The events of the night, the shuddery debris of adrenaline rage, the too-long pent-up need—all ganged up on him and sent his control careening toward the brink.

He wanted her, Maddie, the taste of her, the scent of her in his nostrils, the feel of her under his hands. Boone's ears roared with the wanting, deaf to all sense, to all logic.

He breathed Maddie into his lungs, absorbed her through his skin. Like a cave creature thrust into sunlight, he was assaulted by too many feelings, too much need. He slid trembling fingers beneath her skirt and sought her warmth, shuddering with the power of his craving.

Maddie arched her back and pressed her body against him, fingertips gliding through his hair until her nails scraped his scalp.

Boone didn't care. She could claw her way down his body and he would welcome the pain. All he knew was that he had to be inside her, had to bury himself deep. He gripped her tighter.

Until Maddie tensed and whimpered.

Reality slapped Boone back into the moment. Into the harsh, cold world of what could not be.

He jerked away, staring at her. What the hell was he doing? How was he any different than Hank? He had to get away from her before he ruined everything.

Without a word, he headed for the barn.

Maddie watched him go, torn and confused. She'd been ready for him, swept away by his passion. The power of her own response still shocked her.

Like the familiar man of stone, Boone walked away. This time she didn't try to stop him, for deep within her stirred a knowledge of the true danger.

He
could
hurt her. Not her body, she didn't fear that. Something much worse.

If she let him make love to her as both of them craved, there would be no turning back.

She had to remember that no matter how much she'd enjoyed this respite, this wasn't where she belonged. She had new friends to make, a career to build. She would someday own a place of her own.

There was nothing for her here but a man who didn't want to want her—and the echoes of a troubled past.

Even if they could overcome all that, what would she do here? It wasn't an option to ask Boone to leave here and go with her. He belonged in this place as much as anyone she'd ever known.

She could make love with Boone on this night, but if she did, she already knew what would happen. Boone would show her passion like nothing she'd ever experienced.

But it wouldn't change reality.

She couldn't stay, and Boone wouldn't leave.

Better to stop now before he broke her heart.

* * *

The next afternoon, Maddie headed for the barn. Boone had risen even earlier than usual, surprising her by leaving a note saying that he would be gone all day but that he'd try to get back for her first riding lesson by four o'clock.

She'd spent the day cleaning a house Vondell had left perfectly clean. Maddie wasn't much of a housekeeper, but she needed to stay busy.

She tried to work up the same excitement she'd felt yesterday about learning to ride—before Boone had kissed her. She did want to learn, but she didn't want to face Boone.

Nonsense. You're made of sterner stuff, Maddie
.

Squaring her shoulders, she headed toward the pen in back of the barn.

And there he was, intent upon saddling a horse smaller than either horse she'd seen Boone ride.

The mare moved away as Maddie approached, and Boone reached out to stroke her neck. "Easy, Fancy." Without turning, he spoke to Maddie. "Come on over to my left side, near her head where she can see you clearly."

Maddie didn't know how he'd known it was her but didn't worry about it, far more concerned about the horse. It was one thing to think about riding, another to be next to one. Gingerly, she approached.

Boone finished fastening something on the saddle and patted the horse's rump. "It's okay, Fancy. Maddie's a friend."

The tone soothed, just as Boone had soothed the colt the other day. Maddie marveled that he could be so calm. It was as if last night had never happened.

Until he looked at her. For just one second, Maddie thought Boone might not be as calm as he seemed.

His voice gave nothing away, however. "Reach out your hand, palm upward, and let her smell you. Like this." He demonstrated, strong fingers outstretched, wide palm open.

The mare snuffled at his palm, then shook her head.

Maddie couldn't help jumping.

"She won't hurt you. She's very gentle, and quite the lady, aren't you, Fancy girl?" Boone's voice wooed her.

"That's her name, Fancy?"

"Fancy Free."

Maddie smiled and cast him a quick glance. "I like it. My kind of name."

A quick grin skipped across Boone's face.

Maddie drew a deep breath and stretched her hand open, holding it beneath the horse's muzzle.

The mare blew puffs of air across her palm. Little hairs brushed her skin. Maddie giggled. "It tickles."

A quick glance showed Boone grinning. "Yeah." He dropped a sugar cube in her palm. "Now hold it out again. She'll be your friend for life. Fancy's got a real sweet tooth." Love of the horse suffused his voice.

Maddie put her palm back in front of Fancy's muzzle. When the mare lipped at her palm, it was all Maddie could do to keep still.

Boone chuckled. "I've done it for so many years, I don't notice the sensation."

Now Fancy's head butted her arm.

Maddie tensed but stood her ground, reaching out on instinct to pet the front of her head, just below the eyes.

"That's right. Stroke her there and talk to her. Stroke her neck, too, if you want."

"Do I need to feed her something else?"

"She's a pig. She'd be twice her size if I let her eat everything she wanted."

Maddie placed one hand on the horse's head, then reached around and stroked her neck. "It's so smooth, not soft, exactly, but sort of...satiny. You can really feel the muscles beneath the skin." She turned to Boone. "Is it okay if I scratch behind her ears?"

"Yeah. Fancy likes it. Slow Dance hates it."

"Will you ride him today?"

"No. I'll stay on the ground. Anyway, it's a bad idea to ride a stallion around a mare."

"Is she—" Abruptly, Maddie stopped, embarrassed.

Boone grinned broadly. "In season? No. But stallions always want to show who's boss. They like to round up their herds, and you don't need the distraction. He'd be ordering Fancy around, and we need her to pay attention to you."

Just then, the mare swung her head toward Maddie's. Reflexively, Maddie jumped back.

"It's okay. She's paying attention to you. Just move slowly around her. It's always a good idea to move slowly and to stay where a horse can see you. If you're going into the blind spot behind her, make sure the horse knows where you are by keeping a constant touch on her." He walked toward the horse's tail. "I'm going to walk behind her, but I'm going to let her know where I am by touching her hindquarters. See?"

Maddie watched him move to the other side of the horse and face her across the saddle. Fancy shifted, and Maddie stepped back, then frowned at herself.

"It's all right. It's good to have a healthy respect for a horse. They're big animals, and they can really hurt you. But they also feel your fear and it will upset them. Horses are flight animals—their instinct is to run from a threat. Try to take a deep breath and reach for calm."

"Like I do with my yoga?"

One side of his mouth curved upward. "Yeah, I guess so. Reach into yourself and find a calm place. Horses are very intuitive and sensitive to your moods. Fancy here is even-tempered most of the time, but if you're upset, she'll know it."

Maddie closed her eyes and breathed deeply, searching for that quiet, blue mountaintop pool she visualized while she meditated.

Not easy to reach a state of peace while Boone was around, but finally Maddie found it. One more deep breath and she opened her eyes.

Boone watched her. His gaze held layers. Warmth. Questions. Distrust.

And something else she was afraid to name.

"Now move closer to her and touch her again, Maddie." His voice was a low, husky rumble.

Maddie had to close her eyes again and breathe deeply to shut out his impact. Then, without looking at him again, she stepped forward and laid one hand on Fancy's neck and the other just behind the saddle.

Boone moved around and stood behind her. Maddie could feel him all across her back.

Fancy stirred.

"Damn," Boone muttered under his breath. "Maddie, shut me out. Focus on her and forget me."

Like that was possible. But Maddie tried, using every bit of control she'd gained, remembering her yoga teacher's admonitions to pull her thoughts back in focus every time they strayed.

"Okay. Now let's get you into the saddle. Grip the saddle horn with your left hand and the cantle—that's the high part at the back—with your right. Don't worry about the reins this time—I've got them."

Maddie complied.

"Now put your left foot in the stirrup and swing yourself upward."

Maddie tried, but Fancy shifted and she fell backward.

"Easy, Fancy." Boone soothed. "Okay, try it again." This time, he put both hands on her hips.

Maddie tried to block out the feel of his hands. Gritting her teeth, she forgot about calm and went for speed. Up she swung and landed in the saddle. The leather creaked, and Fancy shifted, dancing under her weight.

Too many sensations assaulted Maddie at once—worry about falling off, the sense of her legs spread wide across the horse's broad back, her concern that Boone might be hurt. She gripped the saddle horn as though it meant salvation, tightening her legs around Fancy.

"Whoa, Fancy. Easy, girl. Grip her with your legs, but don't jab your heels into her sides, Maddie. Settle down in the saddle." One of his hands rested on her thigh while he held the bridle and spoke to the horse.

Maddie's gaze shifted to his, the connection instant and electric.

After a long moment, Boone squeezed her leg once and removed his hand. "You'll be fine. A horse will seldom stand still while being mounted, but it will get less scary. Just hold on, and I'm going to walk her around, so you can get used to the sensation."

Maddie wasn't sure which emotion held sway: relief that he'd quit touching her—or sorrow at that same thing. Boone's touch both calmed and disturbed her. "Thanks," she got out. Then she straightened and grabbed hold. "I'm ready."

Boone grinned. "You won't fall off, I promise. We're just going around the pen, and we'll take it slow at first."

"I know I can trust you." And she did.

He held her gaze. "I don't know about that, Maddie Rose," he said softly. "But I won't let you fall."

The night before rose between them. Maddie wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what. Boone's face held a strange vulnerability she wanted to ease, but she didn't know how.

So instead, she smiled. "Okay. I've got some work to do to become the new Annie Oakley. We'd better get started."

Boone laughed out loud, and Maddie's heart swelled. He needed more reasons to laugh.

Then he settled his hat on his head and walked slightly ahead of Fancy.

And Maddie the Cowgirl began a new adventure.

* * *

The next evening, Boone walked in and saw Maddie hobbling across the kitchen floor. He'd forbidden her to ride today, warning her last night that the soreness would last a couple of days and not to push it. She hadn't liked it, but he hoped now she understood why.

It was painful to watch her.

"Here," he said, taking her place at the stove. "Let me do that."

He should have known better. Her chin jutted and her eyes shot sparks. "I may be crippled but I'm not helpless."

"Maddie, go take a long hot bath and let it soothe your muscles. I can eat a sandwich."

"I already took two today." Mutinous eyes dared him to poke fun.

"Wait right here." He went into Vondell's treasure trove of medicines and emerged with a yellow plastic container. He handed it to Maddie.

"What's this?"

"It's Vondell's magic potion for sore muscles. I suspect it's got horse liniment in it, but she figured out some way to not make it sting so bad or smell so rank." Then he had second thoughts. "Your skin may be too tender to use it, though. Just try a little and see what happens."

"Thank you."

"Now tell me what I can do to help you with supper so you can go work on those muscles."

"It's almost finished. You can set the table if you want."

When the meal was ready, Boone watched her lower herself gingerly into her chair. "You still think you want to ride again tomorrow?"

Maddie's head lifted, grin rueful. "Yes and no."

He couldn't help grinning back. "You did fine for a beginner."

"Really?"

Delight came so easily to her. She had no idea how seductive it was. He nodded. "You'll be a good rider. You're naturally graceful, and you've got a good seat already."

"It must be the yoga. I'm very limber."

He had noticed. And tried not to think of all the ways those long legs could wrap around him. Before his thoughts could escape to his face, he concentrated on his plate.

Everything fell quiet, so it was easy to hear Maddie's tiny whimper when she shifted in her chair.