Thankful for Love (15 page)

She felt his presence behind her even before he touched her. “I don't want you to leave, sweetheart. Unless you want to.” He turned her and wrapped his arms around her. “Do you want to?”

“No, I don't. But I'll go if you don't want me here.”

“I want you here. Believe me, I want you.” He rested his cheek on her head, and she could feel the vibration of his deep voice as he said, “I didn't desert you in the middle of the night. I woke up at five like I always do. I watched you sleep for a bit—you looked so peaceful. You needed sleep so I didn't want to wake you. But I knew if I stayed, I'd pounce on you like a hawk on a sage grouse so I left to get away from the temptation.”

She looked up at him, sure the relief she was feeling must show on her face. “The explanation was working until it got to the part where I'm a sage grouse.”

He didn't laugh, didn't even smile. “Well, I didn't like it either but probably not for the same reason. It got me thinking. Was I a predator, too, like the hawks we saw yesterday? I've been sitting here trying to decide.”

“A predator? Why?”

He took her hand, led her to the couch in the living room, and settled her with her head on his shoulder. Stroking her arm, he continued. “A predator takes advantage of someone who's vulnerable. Is that what I'm doing? You depend on your job here, hell, your family depends on your job here. Maybe you felt you couldn't say ‘no.' I mean ...”

She didn't know if she was more relieved or amused by his explanation. It was apparent he wasn't having regrets; he was merely being the man he was. Amusement won. And a little fake righteous indignation. “You think I slept with you to keep my job? What kind of woman do you think I am, Jack?”

“I didn't say that. Or at least, I didn't mean that.”

“Sure sounded like it to me.” She sat up, trying to look as stern as she could. “Listen carefully to me, Jack Richardson, because I'm only saying this once. If the subject ever, and I mean ever, comes up again, I'm out of here faster than you can say—oh, I don't know, some short word.” She wagged her finger at him when she thought he was about to laugh.

“If anyone is a predator,” she continued, “it's me. Hitting on a vulnerable, lonely widower whose only company is his horse and his kids.” She couldn't stop him from laughing this time. “Seriously, I've come close to quitting my job here because I wanted to see if I could get you to look at me as a woman and not your kid wrangler. The only reason I didn't is I didn't want to fail my family. Well, and I fell in love with your boys and couldn't bear the thought of leaving them.”

“For God's sake, don't quit. My kids would kill me.” He kissed her softly. “And forgive me for what I said. I should have warned you how bad I am at figuring out romantic relationships. I'd do better if you were livestock or wheat. Those I can figure out.”

“All of a sudden, sage grouse doesn't sound so bad.” She wound her arms around his neck. “But if we're finished comparing me to various forms of animal and plant life, could we go back to bed?”

“I was waiting for you to wake up so I could make you breakfast.” He stood and held out his hand to help her up.

“Later. I thought I might get you to give me more of the benefit of your years of experience learning how to give a woman pleasure.”

“That, sweetheart, I'm more than willing to do.”

• • •

“So, what's on your ‘to do' list today?” Quanna was clearing the breakfast bar after the pancakes Jack had fixed for them.

“Nothing fun. I have some chores to get done. Then maybe we can watch a movie. I should have told you to bring something to entertain yourself while I'm mucking out the stables.”

“Movie sounds great. But let me help with the mucking. I'm good at it. After all, I muck out Lucas's room on a regular basis.”

“Thank God you do. Otherwise we'd lose him in the mess he makes every day.” He took the dishes from her and began to load the dishwasher. “I appreciate the offer, but if I let you wallow around in horseshit as part of our first weekend together, it would cement my reputation as the least romantic man in the state.”

She hip-bumped him out of the way. “You cooked. I clean up.” She changed the arrangement of the dishes as she continued. “You should worry more about my ratting you out about how cute you are when you apologize for kissing me.”

He grabbed her and pulled her toward him. “Since I've already earned the humiliation, I might as well give you another example to back it up. This time I'll apologize in advance.” He took her chin in his hand. “I'm sorry for distracting you from your chore, sweetheart, but it's been too long since the last time I did this.” She was smiling when he kissed her.

Quanna won. She helped muck out the stable. Fresh hay was spread, with the totally predictable suggestion they have a roll in it. Horses were fed and watered. After another shower, during which he did press her to the wall and make love to her, they watched
Iron Man
, which Quanna admitted she kinda liked. Until he told her there were two more they could watch if she was really interested. She confessed she hadn't liked it that much.

When Jack began to make noises about dinner, Quanna said, “I think I should go home after we eat. I don't want to wear out my welcome.”

“As if you could.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Why don't you stay here for the rest of the week until the boys come home? And maybe drive to Portland with me to pick them up.”

“I can't stay here all week. I'm working the breakfast shift at the resort Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The ranch is far enough away from the reservation that I'd have to get up even earlier than you do to get there by six forty-five.”

“All right. Then, how about we plan things so I'll see you every day. Tuesday and Thursday you'll be here and can stay for dinner with me. What do you want to do on the other days?”

“I still think you are trying to fatten me up.”

“If you don't want to have dinner, what would you like to do?”

“A movie at the theater at the resort? Maybe another horseback ride? What do you like to do for fun?”

“Right now, reading a book when the kids are in bed or watching some mindless TV show is as exciting as it gets. I'm a real ball of fire.”

“Actually, a quiet evening reading a good book would be a treat for me, too. Most of what I read is for class.”

“I don't think I know the answer to this—are you taking a class now?”

“No. I took the summer off. I'll make up for it with two classes fall term.”

“So all I have to compete with is your other job. If you won't stay, can I at least see you every day? In addition to work, I mean.”

“I guess we can make that happen.” She hoped her grin told him it was more than a guess.

“Then you can drive to Portland with me to get the boys. On the way back, we can tell them about us and ...”

“No! We can't.”

“Why not? Are you saying after next weekend we'll go back to our old relationship, and I'll only see you in passing when you're here to work?”

“Yes. I mean, no. I didn't mean we'd go back to the way things were before this week.” She took his hand. “Look, Jack, we don't know what this last week has been about, do we? It could just be a fling or ...”

“I don't do flings.”

“Okay, but you're missing the point.” She put her hand up to wave off what she was sure was about to be another objection. “What would we tell them? How would we describe it? We're sleeping together? We're friends with benefits? What?”

“Why can't we say we're dating?”

“It could upset them.”

“Or they could love it.”

“Which might be even worse. We don't know where this is going. The boys could have expectations that could mess up my relationship with them.”

“I don't like lying to my sons.”

“You're not lying. You're omitting a few details about what you did while they were gone.”

“So, a sin of omission rather than commission? That's not much better. And what about when they're back home and I want to see you? Or are you saying we won't be with each other after this week? Other than while you're working, I mean.”

“No, we'll have to figure it out. Find a way. I'm not suggesting it'll be easy.” She squeezed his hand. “You know I'm right about not telling them now. You don't want them confused or upset, do you? I sure don't. I care for them too much.”

He sighed. “I hate it. But I guess you're right.” He brought their entwined hands up to his lips and kissed her fingertips. “Which makes it even more important for us to be together any bit of time we can this week. So, I'll amend my original question—why don't you stay tonight?”

“I'd love to.”

• • •

“Good morning, beautiful.”

Jack had watched Quanna sleep for more than an hour after he woke on Sunday morning, feeling the warmth of her body close to him, hearing the regularity of her measured, sleep-shallow breathing. She was as lovely asleep as she was awake. After a while, he couldn't resist touching her, stroking her shoulder, enjoying the softness of her skin. Which had led to a definite increase in the hardness of his erection.

He wasn't sure if he moved or made a sound. Maybe she sensed his arousal. Whatever it was, she stirred, yawned, and stretched. “Mmm. What time is it?”

“It's a little past six.”

“And you're still in bed? How come?”

“Either I didn't want to panic you two days in a row about where I was or you look less like a sage grouse today. You pick.”

She linked her arms around his neck. “That's not the way to get lucky before breakfast, Jack.”

“Then let's try this.” He kissed his way from her ear to her neck while he caressed her breast. Turned out, that was the way.

An hour later, both had showered and Jack had gone downstairs to put coffee on, wearing only a pair of jeans. Because he'd insisted on washing her hair, mostly so he had an excuse to play with it, Quanna stayed upstairs to get it dried.

He had the coffee dripping and was examining the contents of the refrigerator to see what he wanted to make for their breakfast when he heard the front door open and a familiar woman's voice call out. “Jack? Are you in the kitchen?”

It was his sister Barbara.

“There you are,” she said as she kissed his cheek. “I'm glad I caught you. I was afraid you'd be off someplace already. But obviously you haven't eaten yet. And you're humming. Must be a good morning.”

Damn. He hadn't realized he was making any noise at all, let alone humming. “What're you doing out so early on a Sunday morning, Barb?” If she noticed his furtive look over her shoulder, hoping he wouldn't see Quanna coming downstairs, she didn't act like it. The conversation with Quanna about figuring out what was going on between them before they tried to explain it to other people now made sense. How the hell would he explain his nanny being there to his sister?

“I decided to drop in on my big brother because he's been all alone for a week and I was afraid he might be getting lonely. And I know how early you get up. So, here I am at the crack of dawn. At least it is for me.” She settled herself at the end of the breakfast bar. “How about pouring me a cup of that coffee I smell. Then you can tell me how you got on this week all by your lonesome.”

He filled a mug for her. “I'm fine. Got a lot done. After two weeks with four boys here, I had a bunch to catch up on.”

“I'm glad you restarted the tradition with Sam's boys. They loved being here. I sure enjoyed having them over at our place. Though when all of our kids are together, they're a handful. Thank heaven for Quanna. She's amazing. You were lucky to find her.”

“Yeah, I know.”
You have no idea how lucky.

“When are you retrieving them? When they get back, I'd like to squeeze in one more camping trip if we can before school starts.”

“I drive over next Sunday, come home on Monday. Another campout would be fine, but we start harvest as soon as I'm back and ...”

Paying attention to his conversation with his sister, he missed the fact that Quanna had come downstairs. He only heard her when she was two steps away from walking into the kitchen. She was barefoot, dressed in his shirt with God-knows-what underneath, and her unbraided hair looked slightly damp. She might as well have had a sign around her neck saying, “I spent the night.”

He didn't have a chance to warn her before she saw who was sitting at the island and screeched to a halt in the doorway. “Oh. Ah ... hi, Barbara. I didn't know you were here,” she said, her voice squeaking a bit at the end of the sentence.

Barbara raised an eyebrow at Jack before she said, “Hello, Quanna. I didn't know you were here either.”

“I'm ... ah ... I was just ... ah ... I mean ... I came to get coffee, and then I'll ... I guess I'll go finish what I was doing upstairs.” She dropped her gaze, scurried to the coffeepot, filled a mug, and looked like she was about to head for the stairs.

As his mother used to say, might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. He put his arm around her shoulder, kissed the top of her head, and said, “I'll join you in a few minutes. Barb isn't staying long.”

He watched his sister's face as Quanna blushed and almost ran out of the room.

“Well,” Barbara said after a few moments of awkward silence. “At least now I understand the humming.”

“Look, Barb ...”

She waved off his attempt to explain. “I don't need an explanation. But I will ask if you're sure you know what you're doing.”

His younger siblings had never questioned his judgment. Not about how he chose to keep the family together after their parents' death. Or what he did to keep the ranch from bankruptcy soon after. Not his choice of crops, cattle breeds, or the color of the paint on the walls of the house that belonged to all three of them. It stung to hear his sister start now.