Authors: Karl Jones
"I'm sure it will be fine. I
know from our phone calls and Skype calls that she can be troublesome at times,
but what kid isn't. Most of the time she's good, and you love her. If you love
her she must be alright. We'll get on alright," he said, his voice filled
with confidence.
"But what if you don't? I
don't want to lose you; I love you." It felt like hours since she'd last said
it, though Tess knew she had said it many times during their passionate
embraces. The moment the words were out she buried her face in his chest again,
curling her fingers in his thick chest hair as she hid behind her hand.
"I love you too, and I'm sure
everything is going to be alright. Victoria and I will get on just fine because
we both love you and want you to be happy."
Tess considered what he had said;
she doubted things would be as simple as he believed, the fact that he thought
it was going to be so easy told her how inexperienced he was with
children. There was one thing that made her feel a little bit better about the
situation than she might have otherwise. "Victoria has already said she
loves you," she said, wondering as she did how Charlie was going to
respond to the news. "She's told me that she loves you because you make me
happy, and daddy's girlfriend doesn't so she doesn't like her. Knowing her as I
do, I think Victoria will be alright with you; it's whether you will be alright
with her, whether you can cope with her, that worries me." Tess hoped she
had phrased what she was trying to say right and that he had understood her
meaning, if not her words.
Charlie was silent for a few
moments while he mulled over Tess' words. "It isn't something we can know
until I spend time with her and see how she reacts to
me,
and me to her," he said finally. "You know why I have problems with
children; after the way my dad treated me and my brother and sister, after
everything that happened with him, I'm scared I'll end up becoming the same
person. I don't want that." As always when the thought of becoming like
his father crossed his mind he felt tears welling up in the corners of his
eyes. "The thought of turning out like him and hurting a child terrifies
me, to the point where I would rather stay away from them and avoid the issue,
when I can.
"I know I need to deal with
it at some point, I've already put it off for years. Maybe now is the time. I
think, with your help and your love, I can."
"The way you are with
me," she whispered softly, stroking the pendant that hung around his neck,
the Egyptian cartouche that bore his name in hieroglyphs, his most precious
possession, as she looked into his eyes. "The way you are with others, and
the way you reacted when you found out what had happened to your friend over
Christmas, I don't think you could ever be anything like your father. He wasn't
a man, you are; a man doesn't do the things he did.
"He's constantly in your
thoughts, I can see it in your eyes even when you can't or won't tell me what
you're thinking. That, to me, and I'm sure others agree, means you will never,
ever cause harm to anyone, especially not a child." Tess had to stop
talking for a moment so she could get the anger she could feel creeping into
her voice under control. His father reminded her of her stepfather and that
made it so easy for her to put herself in his family's shoes, which wasn't a
place she wanted, or felt she had the right, to be.
Trying to maintain her calm, she
spoke again. "When I told you what John did, you were furious. You know
that kind of behaviour is wrong. That tells me, no it screams, that you're not
the person he was, that he is and you're not going to turn out like him. If I
thought for a single moment that you were like your dad, in any way, I wouldn't
be here with you, and I sure as hell wouldn't want you in my life and near my
daughter.
"I love you. I always have.
You'll never hurt anyone, not like that." She took his hand in hers and
looked him deep in the eye. "I believe in you."
He hadn't cried in years, not over
anything, he hadn't allowed himself to, but just then he felt as though the
tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes were going to burst forth. He
fought to hold back the tears, certain that if he allowed them to fall then he
wouldn't be able to stop them. "Thank you, honey." The thought that
she was so certain he wouldn't turn out like his dad, that he wouldn't be a
danger to her daughter, touched him, as nothing had in as long as he could remember.
"You always know just what to say to make me feel better.
"I want to always make you
feel better, no matter what is wrong with you," Tess told him. "Now
come on." She assumed the brightest smile she could, threw back the
covers, and rolled out of bed, coming up on her feet, his hand still in hers.
"I don't know about you, but after a good workout like that I honk, I
think we need to have a shower again. Besides, a nice hot shower is great for
washing your cares away."
"How about we share a
bath," Charlie countered, remembering one of the many things Tess had told
him about herself. She wanted to share a bath with him; when she mentioned it
she had told him it was one of the most intimate things lovers could do. The
memory of her words made him way to share a bath with her, to enjoy a new
experience with the person he loved most in the world.
Tess smiled and nodded. "I'd
like that."
Together they made their way into
the bathroom, where Tess began running the water. It didn't take long to fill
the tub, with water that was at just the right temperature, so then they got
in. The heat of the water was soothing and they both let out sighs as they
settled into it, enjoying the way it seeped into their muscles, relaxing them.
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