That Night with You (36 page)

Soon they were talking about more than
houses, and as Madison became comfortable with the attractive
lawyer, she began to relax. She found that she was laughing at his
jokes and liked the way his eyes crinkled around the edges every
time he smiled. When he talked he waved his slender hands about in
the air, and Madison was captivated by his long, supple
fingers.

A long ago disco classic was making
the walls of the ballroom thump as the dance floor crowded with
everyone trying to “shake their booty.” Madison gawked at the
couples running to the dance floor to share in the
excitement.

Jimmie reached for the champagne flute
in her hand. “Come on. Let’s go dance.” He plonked her glass on the
bar and held out his hand.

Madison’s stomach twisted into a knot
and her eyes darted about the faces of the guests, nervous about
what everyone would think if she danced with the handsome attorney.
She needed to be cautious and not draw attention to….

Christ, I sound just like
Hayden
.

The weeks she had spent with Hayden
came into focus in that instant. She had been living sequestered
away with him for so long that she had forgotten what it was like
to just be carefree, uninhibited, and…normal. The realization sent
a shockwave through her. Was that what had been missing from her
life, being normal? Madison knew what she shared with Hayden wasn’t
exactly ordinary, but she had never understood how much their
secretive affair had affected her. Perhaps it was time to embrace a
new way of thinking.

Madison reconsidered Jimmie’s
outstretched hand. “I would love to dance with you.”

As he escorted her across the
ballroom, placing his hand about her waist, she thought of Hayden
and how she wished it had been him taking her to the dance floor
instead of Jimmie.

But he’s not here,
Madison,
the voice in her head reminded
her.

A catchy Latin song was heating up the
dance floor when she set foot on the white tiles. Emboldened by the
beat, Madison started to sway her hips, laughing as she got caught
up in the music. For the first time in what seemed like forever,
she was having fun, kicking up her heels and living. Surveying the
dance floor, she spotted Charlie with her new husband and Lizzie
clinging to a lanky redhead. When her eyes returned to Jimmie,
awkwardly gyrating to the music, Madison made a solemn promise:
never again would she be left in such an awkward situation by a
man. She was going to have to make some changes in her life…big
changes. Otherwise, she would never find the kind of happiness she
now knew she deserved.

***

It was around eleven when Jimmie
escorted Madison to her apartment building after giving her a ride
in his new black Lexus GX.

“
Thanks again for bringing
me home,” she told Jimmie as they rode up in the elevator to the
fifth floor.

“
It’s the least I can do
for stepping all over your toes.”

Madison softly giggled, tucking her
hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry about it. It was fun.”

He rolled his blue eyes. “Fun until
you told me you were a dancer in high school. Then I felt like a
total geek.”

That made her laugh out loud. “No,
please. I only dabbled in dancing. You make it sound like I was a
professional, but it was nothing like that.”

The elevator doors opened on the fifth
floor. “But you’re a really good dancer. If I promise to try very
hard not to step on your toes, would you let me take you dancing
again? What do you say?”

Madison followed him out into the
hallway, searching her purse for her keys. “I’m tempted to give you
another try. I think….” Her voice faltered as a figure moved out
from the shadows by her apartment door.

He was wearing the black suit she had
selected from his closet earlier that day, but he had not put on
the yellow tie she had picked out, and his white shirt was open at
the top. His dark, wavy hair was disheveled, as if he had been
running his hands through it again and again.

“
Madison,” Hayden calmly
said as he came closer, his eyes riveted on Jimmie.

“
Hayden, what are you doing
here?”

“
I went to the reception
hall to collect you and was told by Mrs. Leder that you had already
gotten a ride home.” He came right up to her, his gaze never
leaving Jimmie.

“
Ah, yes.” Madison motioned
to an uncomfortable-looking Jimmie. “Jimmie Kirkland, this is my
boss, Hayden Parr.”

Jimmie shoved his hands into the
trouser pockets of his black suit. “I guess I should go.” His eyes
shifted to Madison, and suddenly she felt like shit. “Thanks again
for the dance.”

“
Thank you for the
ride.”

Jimmie spun around and headed back
toward the elevators. Madison stood in the hallway and waited to
hear the elevator doors close before she directed her gaze to
Hayden.

“
I can’t believe Mrs. Leder
told you I got a ride home.” She went to her door and he came up
behind her as she worked the lock.

“
You danced with
him?”

Madison glared back at him. “Well, you
weren’t there.”

“
Was he my
replacement?”

The deadbolt gave way on her front
door. “He’s a friend of Nelson’s. We talked and danced a bit. When
he found out my ride stood me up, he offered to take me
home.”

“
I didn’t stand you up, I
was late.” She felt his breath on the back of her neck. “I have to
wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been here. Were you
going to let him in?”

“
Drop it, Hayden,” she
sharply warned, pushing her apartment door open.

He followed her inside. “I’m a little
late to the party and already you’re picking up strange men.” His
voice was peppered with anger. “Makes me wonder what I mean to you
after all.”

“
I could be asking you the
same question!” She hurled her purse at the sofa. “The ceremony was
three hours ago, Hayden. Where were you?”

“
I got held up.”

“
Held up where?” she
bellowed, wrenching off one of her high-heeled, chocolate and light
blue tie-dyed shoes.

He contemplatively pursed his lips
together before casually strolling to her side. “I was getting
ready to leave for the wedding when Pat Martin knocked on my door.
He wanted to talk about the house in Turtle Creek. I’ve spent the
better part of the ceremony and reception trying to talk Pat out of
backing out of the deal.”

She dropped the shoe in her hand to
the floor and reached for the other. “What happened?”

“
He and Stevie have
reconsidered the build. Seems they want to renovate the place
they’re in.”

“
Son of a bitch!” Madison
shouted, and threw her shoe to the floor. “After all the hours I’ve
put in on their design?”

“
My sentiments exactly, but
that’s the business, baby. Some build, some don’t.”

“
Why didn’t you at least
call me, and leave a message…a text, anything?” She went over to
the sofa and plopped down on the cushy material. “It was
humiliating, Hayden, standing there, waiting for you to show up.
Meanwhile, I had to listen to my friends go on and on about what an
undeserving shit you are.”

“‘
Undeserving shit’?
Really?” He grimaced. “Then I’m sorry. Truly, Madison, but I
couldn’t get away from Pat and Stevie to phone you. I couldn’t
chance Stevie listening in. She would have run right back to Ellen
with that, and then where would we be?”

She sat back on the couch with a thud.
The entire evening she had felt rejected by Hayden and humiliated
in front of her friends, but all he had been concerned about was
his ex finding out about his plans.

“
Where are we exactly,
Hayden?”

He took a seat next to her. “What do
you mean?”

“
Hayden, how do you feel
about me?”

“
I thought we cleared this
up last night.”

“
No, we didn’t.” Madison
shook her head, her disgust rising in the back of her throat. “You
just avoided the question.”

“
What will it take to
convince you, Madison?”

She sat up and faced him. “The words,
Hayden. I need to hear the words.”

“
You’re…important to me,”
he begrudgingly answered.

She glared at him, trying to find an
inkling of emotion in his frigid eyes. “Important? After tonight,
I’m not convinced of that.”

He leaned in to kiss her. “Then let me
remind you.”

She arched away from him. “Stop it,
Hayden. That’s not what I want from you right now.”

“
Come on, Madison.” He
stood from the sofa. “You’re mine, what else do you need to
hear?”

She stood up next to him. “In all the
time we’ve spent together, I don’t remember you mentioning anything
about your emotions. You keep telling me I’m yours, but that is
possession, not emotion, Hayden. There’s a difference.”

“
I know that!” Stepping
away from the couch, he raked his hand through his hair. “Jesus,
what more do you want from me?”

His eyes changed, and in an instant he
was like a cornered animal. Was this the real Hayden
Parr?

“
Shit!” His stern features
softened. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just saying…. When I married
Ellen, I thought I had found the woman I wanted. Afterwards, I
realized I’d made a mistake. I regret ever telling her how I felt
because she used it as a weapon against me time and time again. I
want you in my life, Madison, but I’m a cautious man where my
feelings are concerned.”

He went to embrace her, but she backed
away. “This isn’t about being cautious.”

“
Are you going to run away
from me again?”

“
I’m not running, Hayden.
I’m just figuring out where I stand with you.”

“
Where you stand? Dammit,
Madison, you know where you stand. Stop acting like a
child.”

Like a brick through a plate glass
window, Madison was jarred by his comment. He was right; she had
been acting like a child. She had handed herself over to Hayden and
forgotten about her wants and desires in order to please him.
Suddenly, something inside of her snapped. She was done with being
his to control. It was time to get her life, and her future, back
on track.

“
Tonight at that wedding,
when I was dancing with Jimmie, I realized something.” She eased
back from him, wrapping her arms about her body. “I don’t want to
hide behind closed doors anymore. I want to do all of those boring
dating things you’ve avoided: go to the movies, dine out with
friends, and be just like every other couple. I’m sick of worrying
what people will think or what they will say. I’ve been pleasing
everyone else but me lately and I can’t go on like that. I guess
that’s what I discovered tonight. What we have doesn’t feel real…at
least not to me.”

His small eyes became wide with
astonishment. “Real? How can you—?”

“
If it was real, you could
say the words I need to hear.”

Combing both hands through his hair,
he blew out a frustrated breath. “Look, Madison, I know how hard it
has been for you, and I’m sorry—”

“
I don’t want any more
apologies, Hayden. I want you to go.”

“
Go?” He eased closer, and
dipping his head in front of her, he growled, “Don’t do this. Don’t
push me away. You’re upset.”

“
I’m not upset. I need
more; more than just an arrangement. That’s what this has been.
That’s all it has been.”

The flash of anger in his eyes quickly
gave way to pain. She had hurt him, and that more than anything
only added to her misery. Part of her wanted to fling her arms
about him and take back her words, but the realist inside of her
knew that could never happen. She would never have the kind of life
she wanted if she continued with him.

Turning away, Hayden went to the
apartment door and paused, eyeing his hand on the doorknob. “You
take some time and think about this, Madison. You must know that I
want you, more than I’ve ever wanted any woman, and I’m willing to
wait for you…for as long as it takes.”

Slipping out the door, he slammed it
closed.

The overwhelming anxiety to chase
after him flooded through her like a crushing torrent over a high
dam. She wanted him to hold her, to tell her what she meant to him,
and make all the apprehension inside of her go away. Shutting out
her emotions, Madison vowed that it was for the best. A man that
could not give all of himself would never be completely there for
her. She had seen what true happiness was with another; Charlie and
Nelson had shown her the right kind of relationship to make her
want to avoid continuing with the wrong kind. It was time to move
on.

Chapter 19

After a weekend of contemplation,
Madison decided on a plan of action for her life. In order to break
clean with Hayden and start anew, she had to do more than leave him
behind…she had to leave her job, too. The decision made her
anxious, but after going through her finances, she figured she had
three solid months to find a new job before all hell broke
loose.