Authors: Zoe Lynne
T
HE
school day passed, and Cassidy and Laura stayed on Brynn’s mind—through math and science, lunch, and PE. Brynn didn’t stop thinking about what had gone down before school. She worried Cassidy would do something truly cruel and Laura would become a laughingstock. Laura probably deserved as much, in all honesty, but Brynn didn’t want the girl she cared about being the one dishing out Laura’s punishment. Couldn’t they just leave that up to karma?
Brynn took her regular spot in Mrs. Miller’s class and opened the book she and Cassidy had chosen for the next part of their project. She quietly read along, minding her own business until she heard Cassidy say, “Get out of my way.”
The sound of her girlfriend’s voice made Brynn raise her head.
Cassidy was glaring at Laura, and Laura glowered right back at her. Brynn couldn’t believe Laura wasn’t backing down. Whatever happened to that whole “staying off Cassidy’s radar” thing, and why did Laura insist on causing problems now?
Oh, the answer was as clear as day when Cassidy took the spot where Laura normally sat—right beside Brynn, and Brynn couldn’t bring herself to look either girl in the eyes. Something would have to give. Laura needed to stop pushing Cassidy’s buttons, and Cassidy, well… she kinda needed to do the same. If things kept going this way, Brynn had a feeling it would turn out disastrous.
“Brynnie,” Cassidy said. Her voice immediately got Brynn’s attention, even as she heard Laura huffing angrily from somewhere behind them. “I have cheer practice after school. You don’t have to wait around for me if you have stuff to do.”
“I know,” Brynn whispered. “I don’t mind waiting for you.”
“Okies then.”
Brynn gave her a soft smile. She was about to say something else when Mrs. Miller called the class to attention. Their teacher began reading an excerpt from one of Brynn’s favorite Sylvia Plath books—
The Bell Jar
. In her soft, weathered voice she read, “The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence.”
For reasons Brynn truly understood, that passage nailed her right in the gut. Her silence, in regards to her true being and her feelings for Cassidy, depressed her. It was her own silence, forced upon her by her fear. Didn’t they both deserve better?
The longer class dragged on, the more Brynn became lost in her thoughts. Part of her wished she could hold Cassidy’s hand in front of the entire school and kiss her no matter who was watching. Part of her wished she could stand up to everyone and admit how deep her feelings for Cassidy were. Then there was her completely coward side that wouldn’t let her own how she felt and flip the bird to anyone who didn’t like it.
The bell rang, and Brynn didn’t even notice. She’d been so lost in thought that the normally nerve-racking, eardrum-shattering sound didn’t even bother her. In fact, it took Cassidy reaching across the aisle and giving the sleeve of her hoodie a tug before Brynn snapped out of her daydream.
“Earth to Brynnie. Come in, Brynnie,” Cassidy said in a singsong voice.
“Huh? What?” Brynn looked around the room. People were already clearing out. “I was, um… uh… daydreaming, I guess.”
A wicked grin crept up on Cassidy’s face. “Was it naughty?”
The moment Brynn opened her mouth to answer Cassidy’s question, Laura stormed by them so fast it knocked the book off Brynn’s desk. Her best friend—or maybe it was “former” best friend now—glared back at her before disappearing from the classroom. Sighing, Brynn reached down and grabbed her book.
“No. Sorry to disappoint, but it wasn’t naughty,” Brynn finally said.
“Are you okay? You look… sad,” Cassidy asked, all joking gone from her voice as she packed her bag and rose from her seat.
“Not sad. I’m actually pretty happy, all things considered. I guess I’m just… disappointed. Does that make sense?”
“Did I do something to disappoint you?”
“Oh no. No.” Brynn stood from her desk and gathered her things. She hefted her backpack up on her shoulders and waited for Cassidy to join her at the end of the row of desks. “I’m disappointed with Laura for being so rancid. And I’m disappointed with myself for not standing up to everyone. It sucks.”
“You can always change that, you know. All it takes is a little strength. I know you’ve got it, just look deep inside for it.” Cassidy locked stares with Brynn
“I’m not strong enough, Cassidy. I’m really not.”
“We don’t really know how strong we are until being strong is the only option left.”
“And right now, I have the option of keeping my mouth shut.” Brynn glanced around the classroom and noticed everyone was gone, probably halfway to their cars by now. She leaned in and gave Cassidy a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Be careful at practice. I’ll be waiting for you by my car.”
“Okies. Just, um… just know that you can talk to me ’bout anything, ’kay?”
“I know. You’re the only one I
can
talk to.”
“That’s ’cause you loooooove me… you wanna kisssssss meeee…,” Cassidy sang.
Brynn laughed and gave her girlfriend a playful shove. “God, go. You’re going to be late.”
She laughed as Cassidy bounced out the door, long blonde curls springing with each peppy step. To Brynn’s world of darkness, Cassidy Rivers was a welcome ray of sunlight.
Brynn headed in the opposite direction, bypassing her locker. She planned on going to the library to read while she waited on Cassidy to finish practice, but the idea of watching Cassidy’s beautiful body move as she performed sounded so much more fun. Brynn could hide beside the bleachers, and no one would ever be the wiser.
The sun outside the school was bright, so bright it blinded Brynn for a second. She flattened her hand to her brow, and the moment her eyes adjusted to the shade, she saw a darkened figure leaning against her car. She took a few steps closer. The figure started to come into focus. Purple hair. Black clothes. Black backpack.
“Laura,” she sighed.
Before Brynn had a chance to run and hide, Laura turned her head, and their stares locked. There was absolutely no avoiding the girl now, no avoiding the conversation she’d been waiting to have with her friend.
Laura stood from the side of the car, and she met Brynn halfway across the parking lot. She didn’t look happy at all. In fact, she looked downright pissed. Her nostrils flared, and her lips were pursed. Pure anger filled her eyes.
“What are you doing?” Laura asked, tone demanding.
“I’m going to my car,” Brynn responded flatly before continuing across the half-empty lot.
“You know what I mean,” Laura yelled back. “What are you doing with Cassidy Rivers?”
“Thought you had us all figured out.”
“So you’re a lesbian now?”
That stopped Brynn dead in her tracks. Her heart sank down into her toes, and her breath hitched. She didn’t turn around, fearing the expression on her face might give her away, but didn’t her lack of response already give her away?
“What do you care?” she finally asked.
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
We don’t really know how strong we are until being strong is the only option left,
she heard the ghost of Cassidy’s voice in her head. But did Brynn have the kind of strength it took to admit what she was to someone other than herself and her girlfriend?
She spun around on her booted feet and faced Laura, then took two steps toward her. “Why do you care what I am? What does it matter? Aren’t I the same person you became friends with?”
“No. No, you’re not. You’ve changed, and you’re always with her. You never want to hang out with me anymore. We never talk or anything!”
“So you’re jealous? Is that what this is all about?”
“No. I. Freaking. Hate. Her.”
“Why?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“You know what?” Laura said as she tightened her fists around the straps of her backpack. “You can have your fun with her. I’m done. You want to be friends with cheerleaders, have at it. I don’t need you.”
Before Brynn had a chance to even try rationalizing with Laura, her friend stormed away, heading across the parking lot and over to her own car. She climbed inside, revved the engine, and squealed tires out of the school’s lot and down the street.
Honestly, Brynn felt horrible for the way things went down with Laura. She didn’t mean for the conversation to go the way it did. She didn’t mean to treat Laura that way, but everything spun out of control before Brynn could get a handle on the situation. Now Laura hated her.
She climbed up on the hood of her car, popped her earbuds in, and pulled the book she’d been reading out of her backpack. Everything would be okay as soon as Cassidy finished practice. They could go back to Cassidy’s house and work on their project just like they’d planned, and forget everything that had happened with Laura.
C
ASSIDY
sat drenched in sweat in the passenger seat of Brynn’s car. The air conditioning vents were pointed at her, but she was still hella hot. Not that it mattered. From the moment she’d finished practice and found Brynn at her car in the desolate parking lot, she’d known something was wrong with her girlfriend. She thought about asking, but Brynn had looked so happy to see her, she decided to let Pinky open up on her own instead.
Ten minutes into their ride, Brynn still hadn’t uttered a word about what had her so upset. Cassidy finally broke down and turned in her seat to face Brynn’s profile.
“Okay, what’s wrong? And don’t say ‘nothing’, ’cause I can tell it’s something.”
“Laura met me at my car today. She’s so mad at me. I, um… don’t think we’re friends anymore,” Brynn admitted.
That should’ve made Cassidy happy, but it didn’t. Actually, she felt really crappy about it. Not because she disliked Laura, but because she knew how much Brynn cared about her, and losing someone you care about was always hard.
“I’m sorry,” she offered quietly. “I know how close you two were. Is there anything you can do to fix it?”
“Short of turning my back on you, no.”
“You know you can do that if it means saving your friendship. I’d understand.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Brynn said without a moment of hesitation, as if she didn’t even need a second to consider the possibility. “I don’t want to be without you, and if Laura can’t be happy for me, then I guess she wasn’t the friend I thought she was.”
Cassidy Rivers, welcome to a rock and a hard place.
Seriously, what was she supposed to do here? On one hand, she wanted Brynn to have friendships she felt comfortable with and wanted her to be happy. On the other hand, she didn’t want to lose Brynn because of it. As she sat and thought about how to reply to Brynn without sounding like a needy witch or an arrogant ass, Brynn groaned and said, “Now what?”
When Cassidy looked up, she saw Laura’s Honda Civic parked in the driveway to the Michaelses’ home. “Oh for frick’s sake!”
“Why would she be here? Why?” Brynn’s voice grew louder and louder. “Didn’t she say all she needed to already? What could she possibly want with me?”
“Chillax, Brynnie. Maybe she’s here to apologize for being such a psycho.”
Yeah, maybe, but it was highly unlikely. Cassidy had the distinct feeling that something horrible was about to happen. Call it her spidey senses, but her gut tingled in the way people describe butterflies in their stomach—only instead of butterflies, they were zombies. Really mean, hungry ones at that. “Or maybe she wants to get her stuff? Surely there’s got to be some of her things in your room, right?”
“Who knows?” Brynn said flatly as she pulled up next to Laura’s Honda. She parked and sat there for a long moment, staring up at the house with absolute dread. “We won’t find out if we just sit here.”
“You want me to come in with you? I promise I’ll behave, regardless of what she says or does to me.” It was a huge promise, but Cassidy would try her hardest not to make the situation any more difficult than it already was for Brynn, who looked like someone had killed her bunny rabbit.
“Please,” Brynn said as she turned the key and shut her car off. She grabbed her backpack out of the backseat and met Cassidy at the concrete walkway. They headed up to the front door together. A unified front, indivisible and unwavering.
As soon as Brynn turned the handle of the door, those zombies in Cassidy’s tummy began a full-on assault. Her hands began to quiver slightly, and a feeling of dread sparked through every cell in her body. It was only made worse when she heard Laura’s voice coming from the living room to her left, and Mr. Michaels’s stern voice calling out, “Brynn, is that you? I need to speak with you, young lady.”
Zombies? You’ve officially killed Cassidy Rivers.
B
RYNN
felt all the blood rush from her face. Her heart thumped hard inside her chest. She knew that voice. That was her father’s concerned voice, colored with a hint of anger. Whatever Laura had done, there was no going back from. Brynn would never forgive her.