Authors: Zoe Lynne
“Yeah, I get it. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again. I’d hate to make you rush out of my room because you’re too homophobic to deal with a little chick-on-chick action.”
“I’m not a homophobe!”
“Right. And I’m not blonde.”
“Really, I’m not,” Brynn’s voice softened as she lowered her head. “That’s, um… not why I left.”
“You don’t have to make excuses. It is what it is, I guess.”
“You don’t understand. You… you just… I….”
“No, you’re right. I don’t understand, so why don’t you explain why you left like that?”
Brynn tucked her Mary Janes tight against her chest, hugging them to her body. The trembling in her hands became obvious. The knot in her throat tightened, and if her heart pounded any harder she swore it would explode in her chest.
“Cassidy,” she whispered, fighting to raise her head and look the object of her newfound affection in the eyes. How in the hell was she supposed to admit how she felt? “I… I… I’m scared.”
“Oh, so I scare you now? Thanks, Brynn.” Cassidy turned on her heels and began to stalk away, blonde tresses flowing behind her like a platinum cape.
“Not you!” Brynn cried out in desperation. “I’m scared of me….”
Cassidy remained oblivious, walking farther away.
Tears began to brew in Brynn’s eyes. She didn’t know what to say to Cassidy to make her understand. Honestly, she didn’t understand herself. One thing was certain; she hated watching Cassidy walk away from her like that. And as bad as she wanted to run after her, she didn’t trust her legs not to send her tumbling to the ground.
F
IRST
,
second, third, and fourth periods all went by in one single, monotonous string of nothingness. By the time lunch rolled around, Cassidy had given up on trying to pay attention to her classes, friends, or even the music pouring through her earphones. She sat at her usual table, surrounded by the usual friends—cheerleaders, a few other A-list chicks who shared as close to her status as they could, and a couple of varsity football players who always hung out with the girls because they dated two of them.
The conversation was as it always was—other people. Who wore what, who dated who, who had been seen over the weekend doing stuff they’d never be caught doing, blah blah blah. She turned Mazzy Star up as loud as her iPod would go and kept picking at her chicken apple salad, attempting to completely drown out even the faintest hints of the chatter going on around her.
She was too busy looking around for Brynn to answer whatever dumb question Jenna had just asked her. Her little pink-headed fantasy was nowhere to be found. Brynn’s weirdo friend, Laura, sat off to a side, purple head tucked behind a book. She was probably none too happy about being left alone to suffer the awkwardness of socializing. Heaven forbid she get up and talk to someone.
It dawned on her that not too long ago at all, she’d regarded Brynn with the same attitude. Just two days ago, as a matter of fact, she had walked by the same table where Laura now sat, barely acknowledging Brynn Michaels because she was just another freak. And now she was ready to all but scour the school for the girl.
Oh, how the mighty had fallen.
Somehow she managed to finish lunch without having to talk to anyone. Not that her friends hadn’t noticed there was something wrong with her, but they weren’t the type to ask. More than likely because they really didn’t care; they just wanted the gossip. Since Cassidy wasn’t offering any ante, they probably figured it wasn’t worth their time to pry, so she made it to her fifth period economics class without anyone in her face.
It was actually rather peaceful. She kinda liked being alone, but it wouldn’t last. It never did.
That point was painfully proven by the time she got to her locker after acing her economics pop quiz. Jenna came bounding over, bleached blonde hair bouncing around her cardigan. “So… you gonna tell me why you’re so quiet?”
“Nope.”
“Cassidy, what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
Yeah, so you can go tell the rest of the school, right?
“I’m fine.” She couldn’t pull her books out of her locker fast enough.
Jenna huffed, clearly agitated by Cassidy’s lack of speech. “But Cassidy—”
“Just stop, okay? Leave me alone. I’m
fine.”
The red, metal door of Cassidy’s locker slammed shut, the sound accentuating the end of her sentence. Jenna finally got the message. Or so she hoped. Either way, she wasn’t about to stand around a moment longer. “I’ll catch you at practice,” Cassidy mumbled before trudging off down the long hallway to Mrs. Miller’s classroom.
Reaching the door, she greeted the teacher, who stood to the side, posted like one of those weird British soldiers with the fuzzy hats who didn’t move.
Cassidy made her way inside and intended on heading toward the back to her usual desk. Yeah, that’s what she should have done. Instead, she saw the desk beside Brynn’s empty, and for one reason or another, which she might never comprehend, she plopped into the seat and set her backpack down on the floor at her feet. When she looked up, not only was Brynn staring at her wide-eyed, but Laura had ambled into the classroom and was shooting daggers at her with those freaky zombie-type contact lenses she insisted on wearing, because obviously, she didn’t think she looked enough like a whack job already.
Cassidy smiled oh-so-sweetly in return. Laura seethed, and Brynn’s eyes widened even more as she sank down into her seat. For a moment there, she had been so wrapped up in what was going on with Brynn, she’d forgotten she could totally use her bitch card, which she happily waved in the air at Laura.
The freak growled at her as she passed her by, opting to take another seat instead of fighting Cassidy for the one she’d claimed for the day. “Relax, spaz. You can have your seat back tomorrow. No need to growl like a dog.”
Brynn didn’t look at all too happy with her choice of words toward her friend, but Cassidy had had all she could handle of Brynn’s rejection for one day. Locking her gaze with Brynn’s, she whispered softly enough so Brynn could hear, but the rest of the kids couldn’t. “What did you mean this morning?”
“Is this really a good time to have this conversation?” Brynn whispered back, keeping her eyes straight ahead.
“I don’t see why not. It’s not like we’re talking about drugs or illegal crap. It was a movie, for the love of all things holy.”
“I shouldn’t have been watching it.”
“Shouldn’t have or didn’t want to?”
“Shouldn’t have.” Brynn finally looked over, meeting Cassidy’s stare with an intensity she’d never seen from the shy emo girl before. “It made me think about… things, okay?”
“And whatever you thought about made you bolt from my house without so much as a good-bye or an explanation?” Cassidy’s pale brows shot up as Brynn’s cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson.
Oh.
Is she trying to say what I think she’s trying to say?
Cassidy shifted in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the uncertainty of the moment. God, it was like pulling teeth with this chick. Why couldn’t Brynn just say what was on her mind instead of making her play the guessing game? What if she got it wrong? Read the signals wrong? That would end in even more embarrassment, and she couldn’t have that, so she leaned in even more and whispered, “I think I get it, but can you kindly elaborate?”
“Cassidy….”
Brynn chewed the inside of her cheek and averted her eyes again. Her chest rose and fell a little too quickly. Her cheeks flushed brighter red. She opened her mouth to speak, and Cassidy hung onto the moment, but the moment was foiled by Mrs. Miller calling the class to attention.
“Later… please,” Brynn breathed without looking over.
And just like that, Cassidy was right back to wondering what the hell had happened.
To make matters worse, she was seated at the front of the class for the remainder of the period, which subjected her to Mrs. Miller’s annoying, nasal voice as she read through not one, not two, but three chapters in a book. To add insult to
that
injury, she threw in a little quiz at the end for good measure. It would have been torturous save for the little moments when Cassidy would catch Brynn stealing glances at her through that ever-present part in her bangs.
Those moments made sitting at the front of the class completely worth it. Like a dork, Cassidy would smile in return each time she caught Brynn’s eyes. Instead of smiling, Brynn looked like a mouse who’d been caught stealing cheese and would sink down into her seat again, only to casually glance her way a few minutes later. They played that game of smiling and ducking until the bell mercifully rang.
F
OR
some stupid reason, Brynn had it in her mind that Cassidy would follow her out to the parking lot, where they would talk about things and maybe come to some sort of… well, something about Brynn’s feelings. Maybe that was too much to hope for, because the moment the bell rang, one of Cassidy’s vapid, narcissistic, bottle-blonde friends grabbed Cassidy and dragged her out of the classroom, going on about cheerleading practice.
An intense wave of disappointment rolled over Brynn. She honestly wanted to have that conversation with Cassidy, though why, she didn’t know. Surely Cassidy would belittle her and make fun of her, probably call her names and laugh in her face, because that’s what Cassidy and all her A-list friends did.
Maybe this is a mistake.
Cassidy and her friends headed in one direction; Brynn headed in the other. She was almost to her locker when she felt someone run up beside her. Reluctantly, Brynn turned her head and she found her bestie glaring at her.
“I didn’t ask her to sit there,” Brynn said, before Laura had a chance to tear into her about Cassidy stealing the spot Laura sat in all year.
“You didn’t tell her to move either,” Laura quickly retorted, which stopped Brynn dead in her tracks.
“You’re the one who said we didn’t need to make waves! What? Did you expect me to argue with her over your seat? Why didn’t you argue with her?”
“Excuse me for expecting my best friend to take up for me!”
Just as Brynn opened her mouth to respond, Laura spun on her heels and stalked away. Twice that had happened to her today, and frankly, it was getting old.
“Ugh!” Brynn growled, stomping her Converse against the linoleum. She shook her head and continued toward her locker, mind going right back to Cassidy and the mounting disappointment of not being able to talk about things or, at the very least, see the cheerleader again.
She spun the lock around and around, not really paying attention to the numbers. And when the locker didn’t immediately open, her anger grew ten times more intense. She almost wanted to put her fist straight through the metal door, but Brynn didn’t have that type of temper. She was a pacifist.
Shoulders rounded, she sighed and took a step back. This was getting her absolutely nowhere fast.
One last try got her into her locker. She switched out the books in her backpack for the ones she needed to do her homework tonight, then closed the door and spun the lock again. She hefted her backpack up to her shoulders, took a deep breath and slowly let it go, then headed toward the stairwell and out of the school.
The moment she reached the chain-link fencing, she spotted Cassidy in front of the line, commanding the cheerleaders as they did their routines. She’d changed into these spandex-looking red pants and a white Majestic Hills High T-shirt, and she still looked as beautiful as she had in her regular clothes. Even from beyond the fence, Brynn could see the outline of the muscles in Cassidy’s legs, and the T-shirt caressed her slender body in such a way it accented her breasts.
Jeez, to have boobs like that,
Brynn thought as she frowned down at her hidden cleavage.
Brynn curled her fingers in the fencing and pressed her face to the chain-link. She was staring, completely mesmerized, and watching the cheerleader in an almost stalkerish fashion. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to leave, even when Cassidy spotted her.