That's a Promise (15 page)

“Well, that’s okay. He’s got his own life now; I know he’s busy.” I try to swallow the sudden ache that has lodged itself in my throat. I give my best fake smile, and hug her again.

“He misses you, dear,” she whispers to me. “Every time I do hear from him, he asks about you first. It will all work out soon,” she says reassuringly.

I mentally shake the pain that has started clouding me, and return to Blake, grabbing his hand. I lead him on a path that enters the woods and towards a hidden hideaway in the trees. There’s a patch of flat land in front of a large tree that makes a perfect sitting area. I sit down against the tree enjoying the peacefulness and beauty of the earth around me.

“This week only Blake,” I declare, watching him as he slides down next to me. “Make me fall back in love with you again. Make me feel something again, because I’m dead right now.” While I may not be pouring out my soul, it was still a declaration that I have kept hidden even from myself for way too long. He reaches out cups my cheek in his hand, and I can tell he understands.

“I have felt the same way for this last year, Jo. The last twenty four hours with you have woken me, and I’m starting to feel whole again. I’ll do anything, Jo. I can’t take back what I did to you. I can’t take back the awful truth, but I
will
make the new memories better. I will make it so you never have to feel dead again.” I nod into his hand, already relaxing at the sincerity of his promulgation. I want to feel alive, even if it is just for a week.

“Okay,” I say back to him.

Chapter 12

The four of us return to my house, and sit on the back patio talking.

As it gets dark, Blake decides to spice up the conversation with some beer. Dad declined our offer to go outside, so it’s just the four of us outside listening to music and chatting. It doesn’t surprise me, but it did break my heart a little to see the emptiness that the drugs and his loss seem to have created in him.

When Blake comes back, he hands me a Corona, he knows me too well, and goes to hand Brandon and Brooke a Bud Light. When Brooke declines the offer for alcohol, I get a feeling her little secret is about to be exposed. Blake kind of looks taken aback when she says no, and I have to hide a laugh, knowing how strange it is to hear Brooke say no to alcohol.  Brandon and Brooke exchange a sweet, intimate smile while Blake comes and sits next to me.

“I’m so confused… I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brooke turn down free booze,” Blake muses. About a minute later, he sits up in his chair, eyes wide. He points between the two of them.

“Are you guys…? Are you…?” he tries to ask, stammering. Brandon and Brooke just laugh as they smile joyously.

“Yeah man, Brooke and I are gonna have a baby!” Brandon says, excitedly. Blake shoots out of his chair as soon as the words leave Brandon’s mouth. He goes to Brooke first and hugs her gently, almost cautiously, and gives her a kiss on her cheek.

“Dude, I really didn’t think you’d be having a family before me! I always thought I’d be the one married with kids by now!” he says to Brandon, giving him a big hug with a hard slap on his back that sounded like it hurt.

“You tell Ma yet? She’s gonna be thrilled. A wedding
and
a grandbaby.” Blake calms down enough to come sit back down with me, and can’t keep the smile off of his face. Seemingly without a thought, he finds my hand and rubs his thumb in circles on the top of my hand.

“Nah, just you two know. We’ll tell everyone else soon though. Just wanted to make it through the first trimester,” Brandon explains.

Blake turns and looks at me wistfully, and I know exactly what he’s thinking. I know how much he wanted kids, and I know that we had always dreamed of starting a family together. His look makes me feel that ache again, and I have to turn away from him before I start breaking down.

We all talk animatedly about the baby and the future wedding, all of us excited for Brooke and Brandon’s future together. Being the maid of honor means that I have a lot of responsibilities in the wedding. It also means that there will be no way to hide from Blake, the best man, if things don’t work out this week. I try to shake off the negative thoughts, and focus on the fact that for one week, I will be loved by my other half. For five days, we can forget about what he did to me, and I can forget about what I did to him.

“Please don’t make my dress a hideous pink fluffy dress, Brooke!” I beg her as conversation changes to bridesmaids’ dresses.

“Mmmhmmm, this coming from the girl who will probably have the minister dress up as Albus Dumbledore, and have the bridesmaids on a broom stick in her wedding,” she retorts.

Blake and I exchange a glance, and then start cracking up laughing. Not because she thinks she’s funny, but because I’ve told him that it would be cool to have a wedding like that. He thought I was joking at first, but I wasn’t.

“You wouldn’t believe how close to the tr-,” Blake starts to say, but I jump on him and cover his mouth with my hand before he can finish his sentence.

“Don’t you dare!” I yell at him. He licks my hand and I pull it away abruptly. “Eww Blake! You know I hate that!”

“Josie totally wants a Harry Potter wedding!” he says before I could get him to stop talking again. I sag against him and put my face in my hands. He’s shaking with laughter, and even though it
is
kind of funny, I can’t believe he just admitted that to them.

Brandon, Blake, and Brooke continue to laugh and bounce ideas off of each other as I pretend to pout in my seat. Suggestions like, a sorting hat that gives the seating assignments, Marauder’s map as the wedding schedule, having people use wands to give good wishes, hats and brooms as props, a leaky cauldron themed reception complete with Butterbeer (
I’ll have to remember that one),
and even put on a wizard dual at the reception.

“Stop picking on me!” I plead sticking out my bottom lip, but it just makes them laugh even more. Blake grabs my face, forcing me to look at him.

“I’d give you anything you want, Jo, no matter how silly anyone else thinks it is,” he says sweetly giving me the sweetest smile. I love his hands on my face, so comforting and strong.

“Oh yeah? What if I made you continue the charade back to the bedroom?” I ask with a smirk, knowing I got one on him.

“Then I’d show you just how good I am with a wand,” he says and winks at me. Okay, maybe he got one on me, but I don’t mind the little excitement the words give me.

We laugh and joke until Brooke passes out from fatigue. Brandon picks her up, and carries her to the car. Brooke has to return to work Wednesday, so they have to leave in the morning. I will miss them, but I have no doubt that Brooke will check up on me frequently.

When Brandon and Brooke leave, I run upstairs to check on Dad. I find him asleep in his bed amidst a mess of pictures of our family. After cleaning them up and tucking him in, I run to my room to change into pajamas before going back downstairs.

“When do you have to go back to work?” Blake asks as I flop onto the couch next to him.

“I go back on Wednesday, too. I’ve taken too much time off. And I have exams coming up soon. Should be graduating next month.” He gives me a small smile and pulls me so I lay my head in his lap.

“I wish I hadn’t missed this whole year with you,” he says softly rubbing my hair.

“You didn’t miss much,” I say casually.

“Josie,” Blake whispers to me in the dark room. The pain in his voice makes me look at him. His dark brown eyes reflect the same pain I feel. “I’d give anything to be able to hold you like this every day until I die. So, yes I did miss a lot. I missed kissing you every morning. I missed kissing you before we fell asleep. I missed celebrating every class you passed. I missed every conversation about your students, family, and life. So please don’t say I didn’t miss much, because to me, I lost the other half of my fucking heart for a year.” I reach up and lightly touch his face. Every word was said with the sorrow and loneliness that he must be feeling, and my heart hurts. I want to take the pain away, but how do I do that when my pain is just as fresh and agonizing?

Before I am able to take my hand away, he grabs it and brings it to his mouth. He slips out his tongue and licks the tip of my middle finger, and then bites it lightly. I moan softly, enjoying the way my insides clench. He repeats the action on each finger making the shock turn to pure desire. As my breathing gets rapid and unsteady, I feel him harden against my shoulder. He pulls me up so he can wrap his arms around me.

“Let me take care of you, Jo,” he whispers, lips trailing along my jaw. Even though I know he means more than satisfying me sexually, I nod anyway.

“Say it, baby,” he says gravelly.            

“Take care of me, Blake,” I rasp out.

“Tell me how.” He won’t do anything until I tell him. It’s his thing, it turns us both on to hear the words come out of my mouth.

“I want you to lick me,” I say. He flips me so I am laying on the couch and he lays over me, moving his lips to my neck. He slides his tongue up to the shell of my ear, and licks it just how I like. I buck my hips up to his so I can get some much needed pressure, needing him more than I have ever needed anyone.

“Right here, love?” he whispers huskily to me.

“Ah, Blake. You know where!” I whine, hoping he will give in.

“Mmmm, I need to hear those dirty words come out of that pretty mouth of yours.” He trails kisses down my neck and pushes his hard dick against me. His soft lips lightly graze my tan skin, making my skin cover in chills. He teases me across my neck with his lips, causing me to pant as desire overtakes my body. The need and longing that has been building for a year is so powerful that I start shaking.

“I need you to lick my pussy right now, Blake, because I don’t think my cunt could throb any more than it is right now!” I say, knowing that there is no way he can deny me after hearing that. Clearly my lack of intimacy with any human being for the past twelve months has built up to the point of explosion. He straightens his arms and looks down at me with a semi-shocked look on his face. I’ve never said anything like that to him before, and if I wasn’t so turned on, I think I would run to another room and never come back out. He groans and closes his eyes. I see his forehead glistening in the same lascivious need that I am feeling. He’s restraining himself, and I hope he doesn’t hold back any longer.

“Oh my god, Josie, that’s the sexiest fucking thing you have ever said to me. I’ll make you feel so good that you won’t have a choice but to be mine… that’s a fucking promise.” He kisses me hard, and slides his hands under my shirt and over my stomach. He pulls it up until I lift my arms so he can take it off.

He puts his strong soft arm around my back and forces my back to arch for him. His wet tongue drags from the skin above the tops of my shorts, up my flat belly. He dips his tongue into my navel, and then continues to my right breast. He cups it, and pulls my hard nipple into his mouth.

“I’ve always loved how hard these get for me,” he says, his voice vibrating my sensitive skin. He bites it and pulls, just how I like it, continuing on the other right when I feel close to climax. I love watching his eyes as he takes my breasts into his mouth. His eyes are hooded with lust, and they hold so much control and passion in one look. He moves his other hand down my stomach, tracing every curve in my body, until he glides it into my shorts. I love the moan he lets out when he realizes that I didn’t wear any panties when I changed. As he pushes his fingers to part me open, I start squirming underneath of him.

“You’re so wet. I can’t wait to taste you again, Josie,” he says before making me lift my hips so he could take off my shorts. He leans back and takes in my femininity with a look that makes me melt even further into the cushions. What makes me feel shy or uncomfortable, he thinks is beautiful. He cups my mound and uses his palm to add the pressure that I’ve been craving. I gasp and moan at the touch, and I hear his breathing getting louder in unison with mine. He spreads my legs and drapes them over his shoulders so he can get better access to me.

He wastes no more time teasing me, and pushes two fingers into my wet slit. He works them in and out as he moves his head down to press his tongue against my most sensitive spot. I throb against his tongue, and when I feel myself getting closer to the peak of ecstasy, I push his head further into me, grinding against his mouth. He pulls my clit into his mouth and nibbles it lightly, making my eyes roll to the back of my head and cry out in unadulterated bliss.

He moans against me as my insides clench around his fingers, and he holds my hips as I shake against him. He doesn’t move, licking every drop that I let out. He gives me one more kiss before he pulls himself up to me. He goes to wipe his mouth, but I grab him before he can. I bring his mouth to mine, tasting my excitement on my tongue.

He pulls back and smiles at me. “You taste even better than I remembered. Dreams don’t do you justice.” He moves us so we are both on our sides, and cradles me against his chest.

“You dream about me?”

“Almost every night. I try to drink it away, but I feel like the earth is trying to punish me with the constant reminder of what we could have had. No amount of alcohol can take you out of my head. You’ve ruined me.” I smile sadly into his chest knowing that I always felt the same about him. Weariness starts to consume me, and I yawn loudly.

“I need to take care of you now,” I say sleepily. He just chuckles and rubs his hand over my back.

“No, love. That was more than I could have ever asked for. Go to sleep,” he whispers, and kisses my head before I let sleep pull me under.

Chapter 13

August 6 years earlier

It was the first night in August when my life was dramatically altered into a life that was filled with haunting nightmares and plagued with uncertainty.

I will forever have a shadow entwined with my soul because of the innocence and sense of security that was taken from me that day. The shadow consumed me and refused to let go.