That's a Promise (14 page)

“I hate my dad,” he said softly. I held his hand and turned to face him.

“I’m sorry, Blake.”

“He’s in jail. He did something unforgivable, and even though I never really respected him before, I despise him now. I can’t stand the thought of him.”

“What’d he do?” I asked. I had been wanting to ask that question since he first brought it up months ago, but he always avoided talking about his dad. He looked away from me and I could tell he was mad because his face got a little red and he clenched his jaw. He sighed before he answered.

“He sexually assaulted someone. Ruined her life, and doesn’t even acknowledge that what he did was wrong. I hate him.” I was shocked. I would never have guessed that that was what his dad had done. There was something about the admission that made me feel closer to him. Made me feel like I could tell him everything.

“I was raped,” I whispered into the night air. I felt his hand tighten at my words, but I wouldn’t look at him because I was scared he wouldn’t want me anymore. Scared I was too tainted.

Chapter 11

Monday Present

I wake up, sprawled across my queen sized bed. I groan at the sunlight seeping in through the windows. I hate mornings. I look over at my phone and realize that it was an alarm that woke me up.
What the hell,
I think.

Blake. He helped me last night. It slowly comes back to me how he pulled me out of the shower, how he helped me calm down, and how I begged him to stay with me. I groan again before I start to roll out of bed. I’m still naked, and I’m glad that Blake left before I woke up because this would have been completely awkward.

I pull on a large t-shirt and some panties and run downstairs. I need to make my Dad some breakfast and lunch so he doesn’t starve while I’m out. I hear a chair scrape as I start working on the food, making me jump.

“Mmm, now that is a sight. I remember when you used to make me breakfast with nothing on,” Blake said, leaning on the back two legs of the chair and not hiding his blatant, hungry stare at my bare legs. I give him a pointed look, and walk to his chair hitting one of the back legs. Blake falls onto the floor with a loud thud, shocked. I just grin and get back to work on my eggs.

“I see you haven’t changed too much,” he muses as he gets himself back into his seat. I just shrug, not caring if he thinks that’s a bad thing. “I’m glad Jo, because when I win you back, I want my Josie to still have her sense of humor,” he says, confidence clearly not bruised.

I whip around and stare at him hard.

“I am
not
the same Josie I was a year ago, Blake. Make no mistake about that.” He looks a little sad after I say that, but it’s the truth so I don’t really care.

When I finish with the omelets, I run upstairs to put on some pants and take one to Dad. I hear him in the closet, so I go in and find him flipping through some old photo albums.

“I just wish I could see him one last time,” he whispers to me. It breaks my heart. I slide down next to him, and hug him. 

“I do too, Dad.”

“Just to tell him not to go…,” he says, starting to sob again.

“I know, Dad… but he would have left anyway. He always believed in fate,” I say, trying to reassure him. I don’t know what to say. I’m mad Daddy felt like he had to leave to go get some ice cream for us, too. I’m mad that the driver was driving drunk. I’m mad Daddy didn’t even have a chance to recover because he was killed on impact. How do I reassure someone it’s going to be okay, when I’m not sure it is?

After a few minutes, I get up and hand him his food.

“I am about to make some lunch for you. It’ll be in the fridge. I’m gonna be out today, so if you need anything just call me. Okay?” All I get is a grunt this time, so I sigh and kiss the top of his head. “I love you, Dad.”

When I go back downstairs, I see Blake playing on his phone. I roll my eyes, and get my plate to eat my omelet. I don’t ask if Blake wants anything, and I don’t feel bad about it either.

“Brooke will be here in an hour so y’all can go to the spa. You’ll only have three hours before we all meet for lunch, but I promise to get you in again soon.” I stare at him wondering what the hell he thinks he’s doing.

I drop my fork, and it clangs loudly against the plate. “Blake, what are you talking about? I’m not going to let you do this again. I agreed because I said we could hang out, and I think you knew that if Brooke was going to go then I couldn’t say no. But don’t get any ideas about where this is going. I won’t change my mind.”

“I’m not ready to give up, Josie. I love you too much. So,
you
don’t
get any ideas that this isn’t going anywhere,” he says just as adamantly and passionately. I shake my head, and ignore him.

As I get ready for the day, I get a little excited about relaxing for a few hours. This last week, hell this whole year, has taken its toll on me, and I could use this little treat. Brooke came not a minute after I applied my last stroke of make-up. Okay, maybe I put on a little more make-up than usual, but that doesn’t mean anything. Right?

Brooke and I take my car, and Brandon and Blake take Brandon’s car.

“Wasn’t this so nice of Blake? I soooo need a day at the spa. I swear I was up half the night puking my guts out!” I give her a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice, but he’s just doing it so he can win me back,” I say to her.

“So what!? The boy loves you to pieces. You should hear him back home. He’s always asking about you, making sure you’re okay, and asking what you have been doing. He’s miserable without you.” I’m a little shocked hearing this.

“You never told me any of this before,” I say.

“Yeah, well you banned any talk of him, so I just avoided the topic as best as I could,” she says, shrugging.

That’s some food for thought. Throughout my massage and facial, I couldn’t stop picturing Blake. Blake kissing me. Blake holding me. Blake asking about me. Blake mourning the loss of our relationship. Could he have suffered as much as I have? No. No he hasn’t. He won’t know suffering until he has had to experience what I have.

I get anxious as we walk to the restaurant. It almost feels like a first date, and I have no idea what to expect. They meet us there, looking impeccably handsome. Brandon gives his fiancé a big kiss, letting everyone in the restaurant know she is taken. Blake leans in and places a lingering soft kiss on my cheek.

“You look radiant, Josie,” he says softly, taking my hand in his and leading me to the table.

The restaurant is nice, but it has a laid back kind of atmosphere so it isn’t stuffy. There is a stage near the front, and it looks like someone is setting up to play. We order our food, and then fall into an easy conversation. I’m actually surprised at how normal it feels to be sitting here with everyone. We haven’t been like this in months, but it feels like no time has passed.

Blake takes my hand underneath the table, and I let him. I know I am just giving in to what I thought I didn’t want, but there is something about Blake that makes me succumb to his charms. He rubs his thumb across my skin, and I lose focus of my surroundings. The continuous circles he rubs into my palm make me putty in his hands, but I no longer care.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” someone says into the microphone, making me redirect my attention. “Please help me welcome to the stage, Ms. Jonathon Higgins!” I gasp and turn to Blake. He smirks at me, and as soon as the music starts, he pulls me out of my seat so he can dance with me. He moves my arms around his neck, and then slips his across my back.

“Did you bring him here?” I ask him, wondering if this is a coincidence or if it was something he planned.

“I did. I convinced him to change his schedule so we could see him again.” I smile so big my cheeks hurt. I can’t believe he did this for me. I can’t believe he remembered. I still have my shirt in my apartment, and wear it when I feel lonely.

“I still have my shirt,” I say to him. He puts his head in my neck and breathes me in.

“I do too. I think about you every time I see it. I can’t get rid of it. It means too much to me,” he says softly, bringing me closer to him.

We dance and twirl around while Ms. Higgins sings his music. Dancing with Blake brings me back to a place of happiness and comfort. He’s always been able to help me feel whole and carefree, and that hasn’t changed even with everything that’s happened between us. The day I met Blake, I blossomed; the day I found out the truth, I wilted. I didn’t realize that he could still make me feel whole, even after everything he did wrong to me.

The last song is a slow one, and we each start to get a little bolder with our hands. I play with the little bit of hair that has grown since I last saw him. His five o’clock shadow rubs against my cheek and his hot breath whispers against my skin. I feel such an overwhelming sense of peace that I start to tear up. He feels so good, and I don’t want to let him go. One week. For one week I can have him, and give him a chance to make things right.

He pulls back and looks at me, noticing my misty eyes even though I try to avert them. He grabs my chin to keep me looking at him, and gently brings his mouth to mine. His kiss is so soft, barley grazing my lips at first. He keeps his eyes open, making sure that he’s not overstepping, but I have no intention of stopping him. I close my eyes wanting to appreciate the bliss that he is offering.

When I don’t turn away, Blake brings me flush against him and deepens the kiss. I weave my fingers in his hair, and bring him closer to me. When his tongue begs for entrance, I oblige with just as much enthusiasm. It has been a year deprived of each other, and we both take in as much as we can in the short moment that we’ve been given. The music stops, but the moment between us continues. Not wanting to spoil the intensity of this kiss, we keep ourselves wrapped around each other.

I hear a shriek from the table next to us, effectively bursting the bubble we had built.

“Oh my god, I’m going to be sick,” Brooke says, bringing her hand to her mouth. She gets up and runs to the bathroom.” Brandon looks at me with a pleading look that I know instantly is a plea for me to check on her. I nod at him and then turn to Blake.

“Must have been the fish. I’ll be right back.”

I grab Brooke’s purse, and walk to the bathroom. I hear Brooke throwing up in the bathroom stall. I know it’s gross, but she is my best friend, so I walk into the stall and pull her hair back and rub her back until she is finished.

“It’s okay sweetie,” I say as she moans, “You’ve only got about three weeks left in your first trimester. It won’t be as bad after that. Do you need any crackers? I can go get some.”

“Ugh… no thanks. I’ve still got three weeks? Geesh, I should have paid more attention at the doctor’s visit. How do you know all that?” I laugh lightly, even as a pang fills me again at the thought of a baby.

“Didn’t you take health, Brooke?”

“Well, yeah. But Brandon was in my class, and we sat in the back and did our own health experiments. If you know what I mean.” She winks at me, then gets up to go to the sink and wash out her mouth. Of course I know. I can’t even count how many times I have caught their experiments in action.

“Wait! You went to the doctor already? Did you get a sonogram?” I ask, getting excited.

“Oh yeah! Duh! They had to stick the longest dildo looking thing inside of me to get the picture. It’s in my purse.” I shake my head and hand her the purse so she can get the picture. She grabs it from an envelope she has in her purse, and hands it to me. She looks over my shoulder as I look at the picture of the little jelly bean that’s sitting in her tummy.

“Oh Brooke,” I whisper. I am so happy for her. I am happy that she has Brandon to share something this special with. I look over my shoulder at her, and see the fascination in her expression. She’s probably looked at this picture a million times, but she’s still riveted by the mini human inside of her. She smiles wistfully at the picture one last moment, and then puts it back in her purse.

I see Blake paying the tab when we walk out of the bathroom. Brandon tucks Brooke under his arm, and she looks at Blake and says, “Must have been the samonella in the fish or something.”

Blake and I look at each other both trying to hold in a laugh, but as soon as we look at each other, we can’t hold it in.

“It’s called salmonella, sweetie. Don’t worry, most people wouldn’t have noticed,” I said, putting an arm around her before walking out of the restaurant. I love hearing the things that come out of her mouth.

We all decide that a walk in the nearby park would be nice, so we start heading in that direction. Seneca Park is a cute park that has a pond in the middle and paths that lead you through the woods, through a butterfly garden, or around the pond. It’s always been a favorite place of mine to walk and think.

Blake grabs my pinkie as we walk in silence around the pond. We don’t need to say anything, we just take what we are given in this moment.

I hear someone calling my name, and I turn around to find Gayle walking around the path as well. I stop and smile at her as she gets closer. I let go of Blake, and meet her in the middle. She wraps me in a big hug, and it feels good to have a motherly figure hug me right now. We hug for about a minute before she grabs my face to get a good look at me.

“Well for everything that’s happened, dear, I have to say you look as beautiful as ever! I’m so sorry we couldn’t come to the funeral. George has been doing too much behind my back, so I had to stay and make sure he didn’t give himself another heart attack.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I barely remember the first half of it anyway. Daddy knows you were there in heart,” she nods her head at my response, the mood suddenly becoming solemn. “Have you told him?” I ask softly.

“I left him a message, dear, but I haven’t heard back from him. I didn’t think I should tell him in a message that Will died, so I just told him he needed to call me back because something happened to you.” I can tell she is sad that she hasn’t heard back from Seth, but it’s just something I’ve gotten used to. It sends a shock of pain through my heart, though, that he doesn’t seemed to be a little concerned for me.
I could die, and he couldn’t care less. He really did mean what he said,
I think.