The 13th: Frozen Destiny (4 page)

Ryan rubbed his face, and his already serious expression became even more sour. “What if -- this is just a possibility, okay? -- but what if Ethan and Kate are in on it?”

“No.” She wildly shook her head. “Ethan would never do anything --”

“What if it isn't true?”

“Huh?”

“What if our relationships and memories of them are false?”

“No!”

“It would explain so much.”

“No.” She shook her head again. Her knees felt weak, so she slumped down into a crouch. “No.” But it made sense, a tortured, wicked kind of sense.

“It's strange, some memories that I have are blurry, but the memories of her, of us, of how we started to date, are so clear,” he said.

She glanced up at him.

“It wasn't love at the first sight with me.” The sharp lines around his mouth and eyes faded as a gentle smile curled his mouth. “She was an obligation that I need to fulfil. I was her mentor. Of what -- I don't know. The information is there, just at the edge of my mind, so elusive, but, maybe it doesn't exist at all.”

His face looked so bright when he was talking about Kate. In this greyish world, where all the light was dimmed, she wanted to see more happiness, even if it was reflected in a smile meant for Kate and not her. “Tell me more about her, please.”

“It might not be real.”

“I don't care. Tell, me, please.” She leaned her back against the shelves behind her and rested her hands on her knees, her gaze on his face, drinking in the smile that again curved his mouth.

“Okay. What should I tell you?” He tapped his fingers against his lips. “Well... she is the only person, aside from my family, who makes me feel like she sees me, you know, the real me, not just the way I look. That she likes me for me.” His smile widened. “People love others because of their good sides; with her... she loves me --” his face darkened for a second “-- if I haven't imagined everything -- not despite my bad points, but because of them.” He smiled again. “At first she found me so irritating. I can be really pushy and I had to have driven her crazy. I still do.” A scowl again weighted his brow. “Especially lately.”

“Is that why you love her? Because she loves you for who you are?”

“Yes and no. I love her because she's the most beautiful girl that I have ever laid eyes on. At first glance she looks like a normal, average girl, doesn't she?” The smile that adorned his face was now almost blinding. “But then, the more I had got to know her, the more beautiful she became. She's perfect. I mean, perfect for me. She has faults, we all do. She can be a coward sometimes, and you have to push her into things, but then when she decides on something, she becomes this determined, stubborn mule. And she's loyal and strong, really strong. Much stronger than I'll ever be.”

“You must love her very much.”

“Yes, I do.” He set his hands on the desk behind him and leaned on them. “What about you?”

“What about me?” She sat on the dirty floor and drew her knees against her chest.

“I shared my feelings for Kate with you, so it's only fair you share yours for Ethan.”

She was the one who had asked him to tell her more about Kate, so it would be rude of her to refuse his request. “Ethan's pushy and annoying and so clinging -- or he used to be.” Her eyes become slightly misty as she remembered her first moments with Ethan. “I think he got me with the food. You see, he likes to indulge me with food and since I like to be served, it works perfectly.”

“That's all?”

“No.” She shook her head. “In general he's withdrawn and so blunt. Actually he's not only blunt, but quite rude, even to the people he cares about.” Even to her, but in a charming, teasing kind of way. “But at the same time, he's the most generous person I have ever met and he always keeps his promises, even if it's to his disadvantage.” She frowned while a small smile played on her face. “I don't know when I started to fall in love with him or why I started to, I just know that he slowly got under my skin until I found myself head over heels in love with him.” She grimaced. “Don't tell him I said that.”

“Because your relationship with him might not be real?”

“Because it would made him even more clingy than he already is.” She chuckled, a dry sound without any mirth. “Actually, with the way things are now, maybe it would be better if you told him.”

“He doesn't have time for you?”

“Yeah.”

“It's the same with Kate.”

“But not to the same extent,” Claire complained. “You two hang out, we don't, at least not on our own.”

“That's only because I'm so persistent,” Ryan said. “It's awkward, though. It’s not the way it used to be.”

“What changed?”

“I wish I knew.”

“Yeah.” She could, unfortunately, relate quite well. “So what now? What's our next move?”

“I don't exactly know. Keep a close eye on them and try to see if we can get acquainted with other students. I haven't tried that yet.”

“What about Tyler and Mandy?”

“Those two are the same as they are in my memories. I don't see any change in them, do you?”

“No.”

“Well, I don't want to worry them and since those two can't keep secrets and I don't want Kate to learn about this, I would leave them out of it for now.”

Claire agreed. “Since they are preoccupied with each other, they wouldn't be of any help anyway.” If Ethan was acting normal, she probably wouldn't have noticed anything out of order either, or if she had, she would probably, like Mandy, quickly dismiss it. Since they started dating, Ethan had become such a big part of her world. But he had a big part in her life even before, when he had started to train her to -- What? The knowledge of it lingered just beyond the edge of her mind like the buzz of a fly she could hear but not see. “So annoying.”

“What is?”

“Nothing.”A feeling of unease brushed against her, giving her goosebumps. She smoothed her neck, already used to it. She attributed it to her tiredness and need for rest.

He pushed himself away from the table and closed the distance between them. He offered her his hand. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She ignored his hand, too afraid that if she touched him, she would feel the static again. With the way things were going between Ethan and her, she didn't need any more trouble. And attraction to Ryan would definitely belong into the ‘trouble’ category. She stood up and yawned, deciding that as soon as she said goodbye to Ryan, she was going to go directly to bed, even though it wasn't even eight yet.

#

A light breeze lifted strands of Claire's brown hair. They danced in the air until she smoothed them down and tamed them with a hair tie she had had around her wrist. She sat on the staircase connecting the attic and the gallery overlooking the inner yard. She had found it by accident, when she followed a student with whom she wanted to get acquainted. She had met the girl once or twice and she had thought that since she had been able to memorise the girl’s face, she might be able to introduce herself to her. She ambushed her on the gallery, thinking that she had her now, but the girl slipped up the stairs hidden in a niche that Claire hadn't noticed before.

The door at the top of the staircase was locked, so she couldn't follow the girl inside or even see what was hidden behind it. Since it was always vacant, the wooden landing at the top of stairs had become her refuge. She used it when she wanted to be left alone, only her and a book. She could have used a library or her room, but she preferred fresh air and the narrow view of the green leaves of the large linden tree, which grew in the middle of the inner yard, to the stale air of the library and the enclosing space of her room.

She set her book on the stair above her and stretched her legs. Her knees hurt slightly from being in a bent position for too long. She should probably go the library, see if Ryan had left her a message in the drawer of the desk telling her if he had learned something new. She doubted it though; his spying, like hers, had probably brought him zero results. It was so frustrating. She felt as if she had spent these last two days banging her head against a wall. She didn’t know what to do with the aura of the surreal that clung to her surroundings and the things she remembered, but she couldn’t find any clue that would help her find the reason behind it. She sighed.

Muted voices drifted up to her.

She frowned. This part of the hallway that joined the east and west sections of the square- shaped building was rarely frequented, but even when it was, the students crossing it made little noise. She shifted closer to the wall, so that she could see part of the treetop between the edge of the roof and the top of the stone rail, but to see who was talking she would have to bend low and peek around the corner. She knew the voices, though.
Kate and Ethan
. She wasn't surprised. Those two had been hanging out together much too often lately. He made time for Kate, while he didn't for Claire, with the excuse that he needed Kate's help on his project.
Yeah, right.

She peeked around the wall. They were coming toward her. Kate gesticulated wildly with her hands as if she was trying to explain something to him, while Ethan scowled, the same kind of disapproval that showed on his face quite often in Claire's company, written all over his face.

Claire sat back on the landing while she focused on their voices.

“...don't like... any other way...” Even thought Ethan's voice was more booming than usual, because of the distance she couldn't hear all of his words. Or Kate's, though her tone sounded slightly frustrated.

As they came closer, Claire could distinguish more and more words. They were fighting, that was obvious, but she couldn't discern what about.

“We should have never separated them.” Ethan's scowl darkened and his bad mood hung over him like a dark cloud. “We should have left them together as we did the other two. I hate that I have to share you and watch you with him.”

I have to share you.
It sounded like they were together, but they couldn't be. Ethan was
her
boyfriend. Something cold wedged itself in Claire's stomach and her hands fisted.

“I could say the same for you,” Kate said.

“But I'm not with her all the time, like you are with him.”

Ethan was her boyfriend. He would have never cheated on her. But she had just heard him. A burning ache bloomed in her chest, its edges raw and icy cold.

Kate sighed. “You are very well aware of why we are doing this. Because the transfer of energy would be much harder otherwise.”

“We could still make it work,” Ethan argued.

“It was not our decision to make.”

“I hate how he has us under his thumb.”

“We have no choice,” Kate said, or at least that was what Claire could hear through the fog that surrounded her as she numbly stared at their backs moving away and disappearing through the door into the east side of the building. She felt dampness on her cheek and she furiously wiped it off with the back of her hand. She was okay, she was fine, she told herself, because she had misunderstood, she had to have. But the urge to crawl into a wardrobe and curl into herself washed over her anyway. She had to get out of here, she had to go to -- she grabbed the book and almost blindly stumbled down the stairs and headed in the opposite direction.

She collided with something solid.

“Whoa, there.” A hand grabbed her arm and held her upright.

“Ryan?” She looked up at him, rubbing her eyes.

“You heard them too, huh?” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side in a half-embrace.

A small shiver shook her frame. She eyed the arm that held her. He was much stronger and taller than she had thought. “I misunderstood.”

“I'm afraid you didn't.”

“No.” She grabbed the fabric of his shirt and tugged on it. “I misunderstood,” she stubbornly repeated.

“No, you didn't.” He pushed her forward.

“Ethan couldn't...” Her voice broke and she had to clear her throat. “He would never...” He couldn't, she refused to believe it, because after everything they had been through, she refused to lose faith in him, even though she had heard him so clearly.

“Let go somewhere else.” Ryan guided her off the gallery into the building and then through the hallways.

As they walked, Claire stared at the stone ground; the warmth of his arm and his side seeped into her, dulling the ache that held her in some sort of trance. She couldn’t believe that Ethan would really betray her so cruelly.

They arrived at the library and after the door closed behind them, she thought that Ryan would release her, but instead he led her to the desk, sat her up on it and took hold of her hands.

She lifted her head.

“Don't look like that, please.”

“How do I look like?”

“Like you have just died.”

Maybe she had. “There's no way that Ethan would have ever betray me like that.” He couldn't. Not her Ethan, not the boy who had lightened her life with his smiles. “It isn't fair.”

“Maybe that's it,” he told her with a small, sad smile.