The a Circuit (22 page)

“Thanks.” Kate beamed at him, then leaned down to give Fable a pat as she rode out through the gate. “And thanks for Fable. He’s amazing!”

Her smile froze on her face as she turned and saw Fitz. He must have handed off his horse to one of the grooms, and now he was standing there with his helmet tucked under his arm. “Congrats,” he said. “If you don’t pin after that round, the judge is either blind or clueless.”

Kate didn’t answer, shifting her gaze to some point on the horizon as she urged Fable on past him. Jamie had already turned to give Summer some last-minute advice as she got ready for her go.

“Kate, wait!” Fitz hurried to catch up with her. “I want to talk to you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Kate had been about to dismount, but instead she nudged Fable into a walk, riding him in the direction of the show stalls.

Fitz had to jog to keep up with the long-strided horse. “Come on, aren’t you even going to let me apologize?” he said. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that—it was totally uncool. I wanted to get closer to you, that’s all. I just got carried away.”

By now they were well beyond the in-gate crowd at a relatively private spot between rings. Kate halted the horse and glared down at him, unable to listen anymore. “How stupid do you think I am?” she cried. “I fell for your crap once; I’m not going to fall for it again.”

“It’s not crap! Not this time. I told you—you’re different, Kate.” He put a hand on her leg.

She kicked it off so ferociously that Fable tossed his head and skittered to one side. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed at Fitz.

“Please, Kate.” He kept his hands to himself, but took a step closer. “You really are different. That’s not just a line, I mean it. You’re probably the sweetest, most amazing person I’ve ever met, and it kills me to think I hurt you this much. I never meant to do that. What do I have to say to convince you? What do I have to do to prove it?”

“You can’t,” she said. “You blew your chance last night.”

“Aargh!” He grabbed his hair with the hand that wasn’t holding his helmet. “This is so … Seriously, Kate. Do you need some kind of big dramatic gesture or something to convince you I’m for real here? Because I’ll do it, whatever it takes. Boom box outside your window, tattooing your name on my face, you name it.”

“I don’t want anything from you.” She gave Fable another nudge, sending him ambling along again. “Why should I believe anything you say?”

“Because it’s all true,” he insisted, still keeping up with her. “I’m ready to do anything. Make whatever sacrifice you want. Seriously.”

She stopped again and shot him a look, her anger bubbling up anew. “Are you kidding me with this?” she exclaimed. “You’ve never been serious about anything in your life. You just float through without ever putting much effort into anything. Except maybe riding and scamming girls. Your two true talents.” Her face twisted in a humorless smile. “Everyone knows how you are.
I
know how you are. You don’t even know what sacrifice is. And you definitely don’t know anything about what I really want.”

“Kate …,” he began, looking surprised. And maybe a little hurt?

Whatever. She couldn’t look at him anymore; couldn’t take it anymore. If she stayed here any longer, she was afraid she might burst into tears. She kicked Fable forward, heading back to the barn at a brisk trot.

TWENTY

So far, the best part of Zara’s morning was the hangover. Her pounding head and the queasy feeling in her stomach occasionally managed to distract her from how everyone was treating her like a turd in the punch bowl. The grooms had been shooting her dirty looks every time they saw her, along with most of the other juniors. Even freaking Summer was staying away from her, which somehow irked her even more than the rest.

The only one acting normal was Jamie. Well, normal for him, anyway. She would take what she could get.

“I should probably just blow out of here early,” she murmured to Keeper as she stopped by his stall to give him a pat. “You don’t care if we skip your jumper division, do you?”

It was tempting. Why not bail? It wasn’t as if anyone wanted her here.

But she knew she couldn’t do it. Jamie would be mad if she ditched the jumper class she’d been talking about all week. And maybe suspicious. She’d heard that the horse she’d ridden last night was in kind of bad shape. Not that anyone had told her, since nobody was talking to her. But she’d heard a couple of people whispering about it.

She spent the rest of the morning hanging around near the rings watching a bunch of boring unrated classes, then had lunch—by herself. After that she wandered back to the stabling area to see if Keeper was ready yet. Javier had him in the cross-ties waiting for her.

“He’s almost ready, miss,” he said in his soft, polite voice.

Zara just nodded, not daring to look him in the eye. Did he know? Had anyone told him what she’d done?

“Listen, Javier,” she began.

Then she stopped. What was she supposed to say next?
Sorry I threatened to get you deported, nothing personal, I didn’t mean it?
She couldn’t say that, even though it was kind of true. If she let anyone call her bluff, that would be it. She’d be out of here for good. There was no easy fix this time.

Before she could figure out what to do, Jamie hurried in. “There you are,” he said, pointing at Zara. “Come on, get your bridle on and let’s go. The others are already warming up.”

Soon Zara was riding into the crowded warm-up ring. Several of her barnmates were in this division—Fitz, Dani, Tommi. But she was careful not to look at any of them, keeping her attention on her horse when she wasn’t looking at Jamie.

When Tommi and Dani left with Jamie to head over to the ring, she relaxed a little. Fitz hadn’t been there last night as far as she’d noticed, though he had to know all the sordid details by now. She shot him a look or two as they both rode around, and once she caught him looking back at her. But he didn’t make any move to ride over to her, so she made sure to keep her distance.

Then it was her turn. Keeper felt good as they entered the ring—loose, alert, focused. He flicked his ears at one of the more colorful jumps at this end of the ring and she smiled, feeling better than she had all day.

“Let’s show them how it’s done, babycakes,” she whispered, adjusting her reins. “If we’re going to go out, at least we can do it with a bang.”

Keeper flowed over the first jump like a hunter. As soon as they landed Zara closed her legs, asking for more speed. The horse responded instantly, ears already pricked toward the next obstacle

By the fifth jump Zara was smiling, everything else forgotten in the sheer joy of galloping and jumping. Keeper felt even better than usual and seemed to be enjoying himself as much as she was.

She steadied him around the turn and looked for her next fence. Her heart started pounding as she realized it was the same jump she’d crashed the night before. It looked different today—a little lower, a little more filler. But seeing it made her tense up as it all came rushing back—the horse hurtling at the jump, the moment she’d realized they weren’t going to make it, her bare legs losing their grip as she flew through the air, the poles crashing down all around her, the thud of the horse landing flat on its back a few feet away …

For a second she froze. Keeper felt it, hesitating even as he locked on the fence, waiting for her to make an adjustment. When it didn’t come, the experienced horse shrugged it off and jumped anyway, but he put in an extra stride and took off a little too close. A second later the top rail clattered to the ground, eliciting a moan of sympathy from the spectators.

Keeper was already galloping on, looking for the next fence. But Zara had started to shake. She hauled on the reins, pulling the horse to a walk. Then she raised a hand toward the judge, signaling that she was withdrawing.

Jamie was waiting for her at the gate. “What happened?” he asked, sounding confused. “It was only one rail.”

Zara just shook her head, too aware of dozens of sets of eyes on her. She wasn’t going to let herself break down in front of all these people. No way. Tossing Keeper’s reins at the nearest groom, she took off at a run.

When she reached the barn, she almost ran into Tommi and Kate, who were standing in the middle of the aisle. Tommi was still in the clothes she’d just showed in, though her horse and helmet were nowhere in sight. Kate looked like a mess as usual, her T-shirt and jeans splattered with hoof polish and horse slobber.

Zara tried to dart past them, but Tommi blocked her path.

“We were waiting for you,” she said.

“I’m kind of busy right now,” Zara said, trying again to move past her.

“This is important.” Tommi frowned. “We have to do something about that horse.”

“Yeah,” Kate put in softly. “We feel really guilty for not telling Jamie what happened. Ford’s suspensory is really messed up—he might never jump again.”

Tommi nodded. “You need to come clean with Jamie,” she said. “Otherwise we will.”

“No way!” Zara blurted out. “If you tell Jamie what I did, he’ll kick me out for sure. And I don’t want to leave!”

She took a step backward, realizing she’d just done it. Let them know how much she actually liked this stupid place. How much she cared about staying. Did they even realize what a big deal that was for her?

Tommi and Kate exchanged a look. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds.

“Look …,” Tommi began at last.

Then they all heard footsteps coming and turned around. Jamie and Fitz had just entered together. Fitz was grinning, which Zara guessed meant he’d done well in his round right after hers.

But Jamie instantly clued in to the tense mood. “What’s going on here?” he asked cautiously.

Tommi’s mind swirled as Jamie stared at them, waiting for an answer. For a second she wasn’t sure what to say. She shot a look at Zara, whose expression was closed and stormy. Then she glanced at Kate. Her face had gone pale the moment Fitz had entered. She was staring fixedly at the toes of her Blundstones.

Yeah. Tommi could see that it was going to be up to her.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she told Jamie. “We want to talk to you about what happened to Ford.”

“Oh?” Jamie’s eyebrows shot up.

Tommi looked over at Zara again. Some of the anger had drained out of her face; now she just looked strained and kind of sad.

Could she really do it? Everyone thought Tommi had nerves of steel. But could she actually rat someone out right to her face? Get her kicked out of a barn that seemed to mean something to her already? She could see Fitz’s eyes widen as he realized what she was about to do; hear Zara’s sharp intake of breath.

“Um,” Tommi said, her nerve flagging, “I, I meant w-we just wanted to say how sorry we were to hear about his stall accident.”

“Hold on,” Zara spoke up, her voice shaking a little. “That’s not all
I
want to say. There’s something you need to know …”

Kate snapped out of her daze at Zara’s words. She’d been completely focused on Fitz since the moment he’d entered. She’d kept her eyes averted, but the rest of her was tingling with shame and confusion. Had she been wrong to refuse to listen to his apology earlier? Or was she being a sucker now for thinking—hoping?—it might possibly have been for real?

She forgot about all that now as she realized what was happening. Was Zara really about to confess what she’d done? Kate hadn’t been sure she had it in her, and couldn’t help being a little impressed.

“I—I know we aren’t really supposed to be on the showgrounds after hours, but I didn’t think anything bad would happen,” Zara was saying. “I mean, I just wanted to celebrate, you know? Ellie did so great, and a party seemed like a fun idea, and …” Seeming to realize she was rambling, she took a deep breath and turned to face Jamie. “Anyway, the point is—”

“No!” Kate whispered, suddenly realizing what this meant. As soon as Jamie knew the truth, that was the end of the road for Zara at his barn. He was generous with second chances, but not thirds.

“Wait,” Fitz blurted out, cutting off Zara’s next words. He spun to face Jamie. “I’m sorry, dude,” he went on. “I know I should’ve told you right away. It was me—I’m the reason Ford got hurt.”

“What?” Jamie exclaimed.

Kate gasped.

“Yeah,” Fitz said. “I was trying to impress this cute girl from Fair Fields, and since you let me ride Ford in a couple of lessons I just grabbed him because he was handy.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I was way too drunk last night to really realize what I’d done. But I’m totally sorry. I’ll make sure my parents make it up to you.”

Jamie’s face had gone hard. “I see,” he said in a tone that made Kate shiver, glad that she wasn’t on the receiving end.

“Like I said, I’m sorry.” Fitz shrugged. “But I didn’t want to take the easy way out by not confessing. Or, you know, letting someone else take the fall and sacrifice on my behalf.”

As he said the word “sacrifice,” he shot Kate a quick look. She breathed in sharply.

“Come with me,” Jamie told Fitz, his words clipped and angry. “I think we’d better continue this conversation in private.”

He stomped off. Before following, Fitz sought out Kate with his eyes again. They held a hopeful, pleading look, and that was when she knew for sure. He’d done this for her.

After Fitz and Jamie were gone, the others just stood there for a moment. Zara was the first to speak.

“Wow,” she said. “What just happened?”

Tommi shook her head. “I have no idea. Why would Fitz do something like that?” She shot Zara a look. “I mean, even if you two have been—”

“We haven’t,” Zara interrupted. “I mean, yeah, it would make some kind of sense if he was trying to get into my breeches or whatever. But I don’t think he’s into me, so …”

Kate didn’t say a word. She still couldn’t believe he’d done it. But there was no other explanation. This was his big, dramatic gesture. His way of proving he was willing to sacrifice for the chance to be with her. It was kind of demented, sort of like Fitz himself. But weirdly sweet at the same time.

“So what now?” Zara demanded. “Are you guys going to tell Jamie the truth?”