The A Little Bit Trilogy Bundle: A Little Bit Submissive; A Little Bit Rough; A Little Bit Controlling - A BDSM Erotica Romance (21 page)

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed into my hair.

I opened my mouth to do just that but found that I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell him to stop. This thing between us was overpowering my good sense. All I could concentrate on was his hands, his big hands on me, on my breasts, squeezing them, taunting them, playing with them,
arousing
in me the need for his cock between my legs.

“Tell me how you’ve missed me,” he murmured, his lips still refusing to kiss me.

Oh, how I had. I had refused to succumb to it, to even acknowledge it, but I’d missed him terribly. I had shut my feelings for him down and turned away from them but I knew they were there, if only I would confront them. But I couldn’t. I’d made my choice and to my choice I was chained.

“Tell me,
Teagan
,” he said softly and then his lips were on my neck, nibbling, sucking slightly,
sending
shivers of delight up and down my body until they landed between my legs and made me ache with longing there.

His fingers began squeezing my nipples, pinching them ever so gently, making them so hard they stood up to attention. It was too much.

“Tell me you want me,” he said and bit at my ear lobe.
“Mon
bel
amour.”

Mon
bel
amour?
What did that mean? It didn’t matter. It was too much. I was in overload. What we had between us was pure, sexual energy. It was like it took us over whenever we were around one another. That’s one reason I refused to see him or even talk to him. I couldn’t control myself around him. His hold over me was more than a little bit daunting. It was all-encompassing and he had it because our chemistry was on fire. It wasn’t about games. It was about fucking. The games just lead us there, to the fucking. And I had to have more of it.

“Tell me,” he whispered harshly, as if he really wanted to hear my answer.

I could no longer refuse. “I want you,” I breathed as his hand went between my legs and into my panties. “I want you so much I can’t stand it. Fuck me, Roman, fuck me!”

That’s all I had to say.

He grabbed me up and pushed me up on the kitchen counter, opening my legs wide and then diving between them. My panties were quickly off and his head was there under my dress, between my legs, touching me down there, making me grab onto his head and pull him in closer to get that orgasm out of me. His mouth, his hot lips were on my pussy and sucking at me, making my juices flow, creating such heat I thought I might explode.

And soon, sooner than expected, I exploded with orgasm; it was too much to bear. I was on fire with lust for him and found myself grinding my pussy against his face in an effort to get more. Once I was spent, he came back to me, to my mouth and pressed his lips against mine, crushing onto me, crashing into me, sucking at my lips and mouth. I went with it, sucking back, taking his tongue into my mouth and kissing him with an unrivaled passion.

He grabbed at my dress and ripped it off my body, throwing it to the side as if he couldn’t stand the sight of it. My bra was off and then I was naked, my legs wide and spread for his eyes to feast upon. He loved to look at my body, to take it in, to let me know he wanted to fuck me.

I waited breathlessly to see what he would do next. He leaned in and licked at my nipple; just the
feel
of it made me moan. He took it in his mouth, grabbing it, sucking it, making me want his cock inside of me. I grabbed at his cock, at his hard, big cock, but he pushed my hands away and pulled me off the counter then bent me over it.

Oh, fuck, yeah!

He showed me who the man was then. He took me from behind, roughly.
His cock into my pussy, pushing in, taking me over, taking me, making me moan with pleasure and pain at the girth of it.

“Fuck me!” I hissed as he rode me hard. I was out of breath but I couldn’t have stopped for nothing. I wanted it and even more. His hand slid down my naked back then between the cheeks of my ass and one finger went in as he fucked me. I nearly screamed with pleasure. It was too much and yet not enough. More, please, give me more!

And so he did. He fucked me hard, making me come like I’d never come before and I came like that because he knew how to make me come like that. I’d never had orgasms with anyone like I’d had with him. I’d had great ones, ones that left me breathless, but with him, my orgasms seemed to rock my very soul.

He pumped into me as I came, coming himself, shooting his hot juice inside of me, filling me up with all he had. He collapsed on my back when he was done and kissed the nape of my neck just once before pulling away.

I didn’t move as I heard his zipper pull, then I stood up, feeling just a little weak in the knees. I stared at him and he stared back. I was going to do it. I was going to lay it all out on the table. And so, I did.

“I love you,” I said and squared my shoulders. “Now tell me what you can do with that.”

He looked away. Just like he always did.

“I love you,” I said again. “Are you ever going to say it back?”

He shook his head, confirming my suspicions. He didn’t say it back, wouldn’t say it back. I burned with embarrassment, resentment. I’d felt these feeling so many times before. “Fuck you.”

I started to walk out,
then
turned on him, pointing my finger at him. “Once I get this fucking house sold, I never want to see you again!” I looked around for my dress, found it and shook my head. It was ruined from the water! I’d have to wrap a towel around me just to leave the house!

He nodded. “That is fine,
Teagan
.” He stepped over to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me in tight. “But let me ask you this, when will admit that you are wrong?”

“Wrong about what?”
I asked.

“Wrong about love,” he said.

“I just told you I loved you,” I said, tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Then how can you sleep with your ex-husband and love me at the same time?”

Ohhhhhhh
.
So that was it. That was the fucking reason all along why he wouldn’t give in. He was still pissed that I’d slept with Kier. And I hadn’t even been sleeping with him when I had fucked him the first time! Now that I was back in
Kier’s
bed, Roman wanted me to himself even when we weren’t really together, which we’d never been. Men! ARGH! They were enough to drive a woman crazy! It was pride, that’s all, pride that was keeping him from validating our love. And we had it. He wouldn’t admit it, I hardly would, but we had it. Eventually, it would slip through our fingers and be done with us. Maybe it should. We didn’t deserve it. We were too stupid to give in to it. It would have a better time with another man and another woman who might just give it a chance.

“You’re good at holding a grudge,” I said and turned on my heel and stomped out of the room.

He followed me. I looked over my shoulder at him and he was close on my heels. For some reason, I started running, wanting away from him but, being naked, knowing I couldn’t leave the house. I decided to run into his closet and grab a shirt or something. Mostly I ran to get away from him.

I ran into his bedroom and slammed the door shut. He pushed through it and I stumbled back and fell. He came over to me, looking down on me, towering above me. I turned and crawled away. He grabbed my foot and pulled me to him. And then suddenly I was over his knee and his hand was slapping my ass, giving me a good, hard spanking. He kept at it though I screamed and wriggled and tried to get out of his grasp, then he stopped.

“How I’ve missed doing that,” he said and bent to kiss the marks his hands left.

I pushed at him. “No! Fuck you, Roman!”

He refused to even budge and began to massage my ass then my pussy and before I knew it, I was grinding against his hand, coming and coming hard again.

He pushed me down onto my back and my legs opened wide, welcoming him in. He struggled out of his pants and then he was naked from the waist down and his cock went in and it was hard again and ready to fuck me. His mouth was on my nipple, sucking at it while his other hand was on my other breast, squeezing it, grabbing it, helping to intensify the fuck. He was taking me, all of me, for himself. He was showing me that I was his even if I thought otherwise.

I rocked against him and together, we came, grabbing onto each other and holding tight. It was that quick. We were that turned on, that in sync. Once it was over, he fell off me and we stared up at the ceiling. We didn’t speak for the longest time. But then after a while he began.

“I care for you more than I’ve ever cared for another woman,
Teagan
,” he said softly. “But we both know it would never work.”

I thought about that. He was right. It wouldn’t work, mainly because he was jealous and he was jealous of the relationship I had with Kier. He’d never get over it. But at least he had finally given me something. He had told me he cared about me, but somehow, it wasn’t enough for me to give Kier up for good. I gave him one last kiss and told him goodbye.

He grabbed my arm before I left and said, “Are you still marrying Kier?”

I stared at him. It was true that I had agreed to marry Kier again and I’d done it because he was the only man I trusted enough to take this step. I had to move on with my life. I had to go forward. If I waited any longer, I could potentially fuck up the rest of my life. I wasn’t in my twenties anymore with time to burn. I was in my thirties and if I was going to get to it, I had to get to it sooner rather than later. With Roman, I didn’t know what I would get. I didn’t know what he wanted. I wanted to believe we could make it work but I didn’t think we could.

“I don’t know,” I told him truthfully. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Roman.”

He nodded. “Once you know, let me know.”

I stared into his eyes. “I will.”

“You have to finish that in one way or another,” he said. “I am not an extra. How do you say…?
Second fiddle?
I won’t be a second fiddle.”

I wondered briefly if he had some sort of professional jealously over Kier, who was a big movie star. Yeah, that was it. I felt it in my gut. Maybe he felt that way because Kier was loved by millions. Roman, while well regarded and loved and critically acclaimed, never reached the heights that Kier had. But not many had. Even so, maybe that was his grudge. Well, I was sick of it because it put me squarely in the middle of those two.

But I knew that was the thing that was keeping us apart, his belief that he would lose to Kier. It was too much, though, too much to sort through. Something in me longed to tell him to just stop being afraid to love me, the way I had stopped being afraid to love him, if only for an instant, if only for the minute it took to tell him that. He did care for me, he’d told me as much. But it wasn’t enough. However, I knew it was me with the problem and not him. And that’s why he was letting me go. He didn’t want to
make
me love him; he didn’t want to
make
me choose. He wanted me to do it on my own. And my choice was with Kier, it was that simple. He was all I had, all I knew. The unfamiliar was too damned scary. I wasn’t a spontaneous person who would elope with someone just because she had a night of hot sex with them. I just wasn’t that way. I had to have time to acclimate and Roman and I just hadn’t taken that time.

He wasn’t perfect. He was human and I knew he didn’t trust me enough to let me into his heart. That was rich, considering the way I’d been treated by the men I’d loved in my life. Everything we’d been though together was a way for him to punish me, to let me know he wasn’t giving it up that easily. He didn’t punish through our games; no those were mostly for fun. He punished by holding back, by withdrawing his love. That’s how he hurt the ones he thought would hurt him. Couldn’t he see all I wanted was validation, a word or rather three little words,
I love you…
Or even four,
I love you, too.
That’s all it would take for me. I was easy that way.
Tell me you love and I will love you back.
But I couldn’t and he couldn’t. That’s why we were where we were: Stuck at an impasse, neither of us willing to trust enough to let go and believe that we had what it took to make it work.

I got up and looked around, wondering what to do next. But I knew the only thing I could do, the right thing to do, was to simply leave. As I started to stand, Roman grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. He didn’t say a word, he just held me close. I could feel his heart beating and could sense his longing. For that, I felt bad. Though he rarely did, Roman could be romantic and he was being that way now. However, I had to accept the fact that, while our relationship was wild and intense, it was purely on a sexual level.

I pulled away. “Goodbye, Roman.”

“Au
revoir
,
Teagan
.”

The Final Showing

The final showing of Roman’s house was going well. They were a young good looking married couple and dressed to the nines in casual, expensive clothing. Well, she was at least. He was dressed in a vintage Ramones t-shirt, jeans and Chuck Taylors. They’d pulled up in an old, beat-up Jeep and were so cool it made me feel just a little older than I should have actually felt.

They were really friendly and a really cute couple. He had formed a software company, one that developed software for major corporations. It was very heady and a little out of my realm of comprehension, but I was impressed as hell. She was a reporter turned style blogger and they’d met at a fundraiser and later married. Their names were Alicia and Martin.

“
Teagan
Finney,” I said and shook their hands “Let me show you around the place.”

I showed them around the house, pointing out the architectural details as well as giving them the history of the house.

“Wow,” Alicia said in the master closet. “I could buy more stuff!”

Martin rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Like you need it.”

I chuckled at them and said, “Let’s take a look at the living room again.”