The Abolitionist’s Secret (20 page)

“Why? Why should I ever speak to him again?”

Colleen took Heather’s hand. “Because you love that man. His mother canna change how you two feel for each other, despite her best efforts.”

Heather sighed and shrugged off the blanket as she began to put on her underthings.

Colleen took her soiled dress and bundled it in a piece of cloth. “We’ll burn this dress as soon as we get back to Bellewood.”

“We are only going to Bellewood to pack up our belongings, Colleen. We’re heading home as soon as Papa gets here.”

Colleen studied Heather quietly for a moment, then began to move again. “Ah, Jaysus, missy. I’m forgetting myself. I have a telegram for you from your family. It was delivered to Bellewood, and Mister David gave it to me to pass on to you. Here it is.” Colleen pulled the telegram from her pocket.

Heather scanned the note, and then turned to Colleen. “Papa will be here this evening,” she said, with excitement in her voice for the first time since the constable had taken her away. “Oh, I’ve missed my family so much, it’ll be wonderful to see him. I expect he’ll want to talk to David, too.”

“Without a doubt, lass. But, I predict he’ll be more likely to shoot the poor bastard as talk to him,” Colleen clucked. “The lieutenant had best be prepared for the worst of your father’s wrath.”

“Papa will have to stand in line. My wrath comes first. Come, Colleen, please fix my hair. You are correct. I do need to talk to David.”

Heather sat as Colleen began to brush her waist-length hair, pulling it back into a simple chignon. “’Tis a pity I didn’t bring your fancy hair clips with me. I do want you to look your best when you speak to the lieutenant.”

“I don’t need fancy, Colleen, for what I have to say to him.”

“Well, it’s good to see color back in your cheeks, and some starch in your spirit again. He’ll be impressed with that.”

“I’m not trying to impress him, either. I only want to tell him I can’t possibly force him to choose me over his family and that I’ve made a terrible mistake in accepting his proposal. I’ll give him back the ring and I’ll head home, putting this whole horrible experience behind me.” Heather rubbed her hands together, as if to rid herself of the past weeks.

“Ah, but missy, it hasn’t all been bad, has it? That cottage was a wee bit small, and I heard what was going on there each night, between the two of you. Sounded to me like you were enjoying a certain part of your life here in Georgia.”

Heather blushed as she thought of David teaching her the joys of lovemaking, and of her involuntary response to the thought of his hands on her body. She gazed up at Colleen.

“Yes, I’ll admit, parts of my time here were, uh, rather enjoyable,” she replied, with a wistful tone in her voice. “And my teaching. I loved being able to do that for the slaves. I’ve found my true calling in life. So it was worthwhile from that standpoint. But my mind is made up.”

Colleen knelt beside Heather and grasped her hands. “Don’t be rushing to do something foolish, missy. You love that lieutenant with all your might, and he loves you. Maybe you can’t make it work for the two of you here in Georgia, but you’ll find a way, if you try hard enough. Love like what you have only comes along once in a lifetime, so don’t toss it aside as if it was yesterday’s news. You must fight for him and for your relationship with every ounce of strength that you have left.”

Heather laid her head on Colleen’s shoulder. “That’s just it, Colleen. I have been using all my strength since I got here, to fight off both Mrs. Whitman and Blanche. I’m tired and I want to go home. There’s no fight left.”

David stopped pacing in the hotel’s lobby when Heather finally appeared at the top of the stairs. He moved to the bottom of the staircase and watched her descent, studying her carefully. She seemed calm enough, he thought, as he expelled a long breath. Maybe he still had a chance to right things between them.

He reached out and took her hand as she stepped from the stairs to the lobby floor. He led her to a settee in a corner of the room, watching her face as they walked across the hushed lobby, which was filled with dark wood furniture. Its thick, graceful oriental rug quieted their footsteps.

They sat quietly for several minutes. David kept hold of Heather’s hand, and waited for her to say something, anything. She finally cleared her throat and looked at him.

“My father will be here on this evening’s train.” She glanced over at him for the first time. He sensed pain in her eyes, even though she was not crying. Pain that his mother and he had caused. It nearly destroyed him.

“Yes, I thought that might be what the telegram was about. I expect he’ll want to rip my hide, and rightly so.” David took a deep breath. “I know my words can’t make up for what you endured, but you have to know how truly sorry I am.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. She took her hand back then, and began to remove the engagement ring from her finger.

“No, Heather, please. I beg of you, no!”

She sighed as she held the ring between her fingers. “It’s for the best, David. You know it as well as I do. I’m heading north with my father, back to New York, and I will do so as a single woman. I can’t marry you, even though I love you with all my heart. You should stay here and marry Blanche. She’s not such a bad-looking woman, and her teeth aren’t even really bucked.”

David smiled a little as he remembered the first time he had described Blanche to Heather. “Well, she has grown into her face since the last time I saw her. But she’s not you. Your love of teaching and your strong desire to make the world a better place for everyone is what I love about you. I can handle my mother, Heather, now that I know there’s no way she will ever accept you into the family. I’ll set things up so you’ll never have to see her again.”

“Until the next time you have to leave Bellewood? Since I have no intention of stopping my anti-slavery activities, your mother will just wait until you are drawn away again and we’ll have a repeat of what happened this time. I can’t tolerate another day in jail, David. Nor do I want to place the slaves in jeopardy. Unlike me, who merely had to suffer some time in the wretched jail cell, they could have been strung up and lost their lives, because of your mother’s evil behavior.”

“What if I remove my mother from the premises altogether?”

“I can’t ask you to do that, David. Bellewood is her home. As it is yours. This plantation, and this way of life, have been part of your family for a hundred years, and I don’t want you to turn your back on it. Here, take your ring. I’m not worth it.”

David watched as she blinked, trying to hold back her tears. Tears formed in his own eyes as he looked at her.

“Don’t ever again say you’re not worth it, my darling. You are the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. I love the way you jumped excitedly into your teaching. I saw the pleasure you got out of it with Jericho and the others. And the way you stood up to my mother. I’m more proud of you than I’ve ever been, because you not only talk about reform, you do something about it.”

Heather lifted her gaze from the muted pattern on the rug and looked directly at him. “Thank you, David. Unfortunately, though, that kind of reform is illegal in Georgia, and I’m putting both myself and my pupils at risk every time I see them. So, I’m better off up north. I’ll come to Bellewood tomorrow to pack my things, and Papa, Colleen, and I will leave on the train tomorrow afternoon.”

“Is there no way I can talk you out of this?”

Heather laid her hand on David’s broad chest. “No, my only love. Your place is here, at Bellewood, and mine is in the north. We were foolish to ever think otherwise.”

Resigned and devastated, David got to his feet. “I’ll bring a carriage here tomorrow morning then, for you.” He turned and looked at Heather, sitting so calmly on the couch. He dropped to his knees in front of her, and took her hands in his.

“What will I do without you?” he cried out.

Heather ran a hand over his unruly brown hair. “You will do what the Whitman men have done for generations. You will labor on your land and take good care of your slaves. You’ll find a woman with the same values as you, and you will raise crops and children together. But that woman can’t be me.”

She stood and, with her head held high, walked back up to her room as David sank to the floor feeling as if his heart had just shattered.

• • •

Heather got as far as the doorway to her room before her tears, which she had been successful in holding at bay in front of David, began anew. Standing in the hallway of the hotel, her tears fell and she crumpled into a heap outside her door. Colleen could not find her like this, and she hoped David wouldn’t come bounding up the stairs after her. She tried to stifle the sobs in order to not alarm Colleen, or any other hotel guest who might walk out of their room at any moment.

It had taken every ounce of self-control to keep from breaking down in front of David. When she ran her hand over his hair as he knelt in front of her, she remembered the first time she had been tempted to touch his lovely, unruly brown locks. It had been the night of the Cotillion, when they were walking back to her home. A gust of wind blew a stray bit of hair onto his forehead and her fingers itched to brush it back off his brow. She almost broke her resolve as she remembered that night and the sweetness of their early days together. And when she thought of never again being able to touch his hair, it was almost more than she could bear.

But, she remained resolute in front of him. She knew it was for the best that she leave Georgia and head back home, but when David said such wonderful things about what he loved about her, one part of her mind begged her to reconsider. Maybe we can make this work, maybe we can beat the odds, maybe, possibly …

Her head came up and she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, wiping away all traces of her tears. No, she would not be that selfish. That was a Jasmine trait, not a Heather one. She had done the right thing for both herself and David. They each had obligations to consider — he to his heritage, she to her cause — and she’d have to find a way to make that be enough for her to live with and be happy. With a new flash of resolve, she stood and tucked her sodden handkerchief back into her pocket. She smoothed her skirt, ran a hand over her chignon, and took a deep breath before opening the door to the room.

“Ah, missy, you’ve come back,” Colleen jumped up from the chair in which she’d been resting. She took Heather’s hands in her own. “Ach, but without your ring?” She glanced at Heather’s face. “I see it was not given back without some tears, though. The puffiness around your eyes tells me how hard this decision was for you.”

“It’s over, Colleen, and you and I are heading home tomorrow. I can’t wait to leave Georgia’s red dust behind us. David’s bringing over a carriage tomorrow morning, and Papa, you, and I will pack our things and be gone on the afternoon train.”

“Oh, my wee one. I canna help but think this is a mistake.”

“No, the real mistake was coming here in the first place. Why I ever thought I’d fit in is beyond me. I have no wish to play with fire like I’ve been doing. My stay in that terrible jail cell made me realize that, in my selfish zeal to teach them, I’ve been placing the lives of the slaves in peril. Their only transgression is that they want to learn, and for that, they can be put to death, and I, as their teacher, would have their blood on my hands. Merely thinking about in what danger I put them gives me the chills. I cannot allow a situation like that to ever arise again, so it’s best that I leave the state. Let’s get ready to go greet Papa. His train is due in less than an hour.”

• • •

“Papa, it’s so good to see you,” Heather declared as she ran into her father’s arms, ignoring the clouds of steam from the train and the other passengers shuffling past them on the station platform.

“Are you all right, daughter? I cannot believe David’s mother had you tossed into jail. What kind of heathen woman is she?” George ran his hand over Heather’s dark hair as he kissed her cheek. He pulled back from her and took hold of her hands. “Let me look at you.”

Heather gave a slight shrug. “She’s a southern woman who is staunchly defending her way of life, which she sees crumbling around her.”

“Regardless, she’s a mother, and no mother I know would ever put someone like you in jail. I can’t wait to talk to her and tell her just what I think of her.”

“Believe me, Papa, you’ll be wasting your breath. Besides, she’s gotten what she wanted, so there will be no reasoning with her now.”

“What do you mean?”

Heather looked away from her father. “I gave David back his ring, and broke off the engagement. So he’s now free to marry the neighbor that his mother hand-picked for him.”

George looked her in the eye. “Are you sure that’s the wisest choice? David is a good man. If I hadn’t thought so, I would never have given my consent to your engagement in the first place. Nor would I have allowed you to come here to Georgia with him.”

“It’s the only choice I could make, Papa. I’ll tell you everything once we get inside. Is this all you’ve brought?” Heather gazed at the lone carpetbag on the platform near her father.

“I didn’t see any reason to pack a lot, since I’m only going to be here long enough to lambaste David and his mother, and to take you and Colleen away from this wretched place. But to break off the engagement? I don’t know, Heather, if what you’re doing is the right thing. I have a bad feeling about it. But, we’ll be home by the end of the week and things will look different then. My poor child. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.”

At her father’s kind words, Heather’s eyes filled with tears yet again. “It has been an awful experience, but parts of it were wonderful. Are you hungry? We’ve been holding off on dinner until you arrived.”

George Fitzpatrick smiled and linked arms with Heather. “You know I’m always ready for a good meal. Let’s try some of Georgia’s cooking.”

“The food here has been very good, that much I can say,” Heather laughed for the first time in days. “Southerners do know how to cook. Come along then. The hotel’s just down the street.”