The Academy (14 page)

My Victorian sensibilities cried out against what I was about to do but I couldn’t stand to be grimy any longer. Taking a deep breath, I slipped out of my pajamas and hung them on the closest hook.

I clutched my towel to my breasts, my bare skin breaking out into chill-bumps as I walked several showers down to the one in the center of the long, tiled wall. I had an urge to glance over my shoulder and see if North was looking. But when I did, he was still standing there, feet slightly apart, broad shoulders set, staring steadily at the blanket. Feeling reassured, I turned the shower to hot and the lowest setting, put aside my towel, and stepped into the steaming spray.

I can’t express my pleasure at the feeling of the hot needles of water hitting my tired, grimy body. I felt like the stress of the past few days was melting away, dissipated by the delicious heat of the silky water pouring over me.
Ah, bliss…

“Hurry up,” North growled softly and I snapped out of my happy trance. No matter how good the shower felt, I knew I didn’t have the time to savor the sensation. Quickly, I popped the shampoo pellet over my head and rubbed it into my hair, working it in thoroughly.

I used some of the rich lather to clean the rest of my body as well, scrubbing my breasts and between my legs, making sure to keep my back to North at all times. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust North—my instincts told me he was honorable. But I hadn’t known him that long, after all. This way if he
did
succumb to curiosity and turned around, he would see nothing but my backside. And while I was a little curvier in the hips than a man should be, I didn’t think I was shapely enough to ignite his suspicion.

It was possibly the fastest—and the best—shower I had ever taken. Back home I’d used many different products in my long tresses to keep them silky smooth. But with my new short, mannish cut, the single shampoo pellet was enough. I rinsed my hair and body, turned off the shower, and rubbed the towel vigorously over my dripping hair. Satisfied that I was finally clean, I wrapped the damp towel around myself, knotting it securely above my chest.

“All right,” I whispered, taking my pajamas from the hook I’d left them on. “I’m finished.”

“Good.” He kept his head pointed straight ahead. “Is it safe to look?”

“Yes, I guess so.” I clutched my pajamas to my chest. “I, uh, still need to get dressed.”

“Wait until we get back to the room,” he advised in a low voice. “We’re pushing our luck every minute we’re out here.”

Inwardly, I sighed. Another long walk down the hallway dressed only in a towel. Well, to get the squeaky clean feeling I was currently enjoying, it was worth it. “All right.” I nodded and North looked at me at last.

“You look happier,” he observed in a low voice as he unhooked the blanket and rolled it back up.

“I am.” I smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” he said gruffly. “Come on, let’s go.”

We walked back in silence, reaching our room without incident. North slid into bed with a rustle of covers and I started to head for the closet as usual.

“Don’t bother.” North snapped off his handheld light which he’d illuminated when we walked in the room. “I can’t see you with the light off—not that I want to.”

“Oh.” I stood at the side of my bed, shifting from foot to foot indecisively for a moment. Then I decided I might as well trust him again. Turning my back to him, I dropped the towel and put on my pajamas as quickly as I could. Then I slid shivering into bed and put my still-damp head on the pillow.

“Finished?” North asked in the darkness.

“Yes.” I turned to face him and saw that he had the handheld light on again and was looking at me with a frown.

“You’re going to have to be faster and quieter the next time we do this, you know,” he said.

I stared at him in surprise. “You mean…you’ll go with me again?”

He sighed. “As long as Broward is still gunning for you, I don’t see what choice I have.”

I frowned. “I don’t want to be a burden. I can manage on my own now that I know the best time to sneak out.”

North shook his head. “Nope, too risky. I’ll come with you.”

“Every night?” I raised my eyebrows. “Won’t that get tiring for you?”

Unexpectedly, he flashed me a grin. “Not as long as helping me out in Inter-dimensional Calc doesn’t get tiring for you.”

“You don’t really need much help,” I objected. “The minute I showed you my sketch you got the concept.”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t if you hadn’t showed me. You have a different way of looking at things, shrimp.” He sounded thoughtful. “I’ve been here for four years—give or take—and I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’re…unique.”

“Unique isn’t always good,” I said in a low voice, thinking of my secret. “Sometimes it’s dangerous.”

North laughed. “In this case, I think it’s okay.” He reached across the narrow space between our beds and squeezed my arm briefly. “I wasn’t sure at first but now I think having you as a roommate might not be so bad. You’re okay, shorty. I mean, I don’t know why but I like you.”

“I…” I didn’t know what to say—my tongue was suddenly tied in knots. “I like you too, North,” I finally managed to get out. “Thank you for protecting me from Broward and coming with me tonight. For everything.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said gruffly. “It’s late. Let’s get some sleep.”

“All right,” I murmured, trying to sound normal. But inside it felt like my heart had swelled three sizes larger.
He likes me,
whispered a little voice in my head.
North
likes
me.

I knew his affection for me was as a friend only but I couldn’t help it—those simple words caused my heart to pound and my knees to feel weak. If I hadn’t already been lying down I might have collapsed.

What’s wrong with me?
I asked myself. My pounding heart, the nervous flutter in my stomach—I had read about such things often enough in the few tame romance novels which had escaped the censorship of Victorian society. But I had never felt them myself until this moment. Had never
expected
to feel them, to be honest. Now, however…

He’s my roommate—I shouldn’t be having these feelings about him
, I told myself fiercely. In fact, I ought to be more wary of North than anyone else at the Academy, excluding Broward, of course. Being the closest to me, he was the most likely to discover my secret, if anyone did. But I couldn’t help myself. As North rolled over to go to sleep, I looked up at the darkened ceiling and replayed his words in my head.
“…I like you.”

I liked him as well—much more than was safe. It was incredibly stupid of me but I was very much afraid I might be falling in love with my roommate.

As the weeks passed, I struggled to hide my new feelings from North but it wasn’t easy. Now that he had decided to accept me into his life, he was an extremely loyal friend. We walked together to meals and classes, studied together in the evenings, and snuck out between two and three AM every early morning so that I could take a shower. We began to grow close—a conspiracy of two.

I wondered at times if I was North’s only friend, because I never saw him speaking to anyone else. The rest of the cadets seemed to be in awe of him and left him strictly alone. I was certain if he would have deigned to talk to any of them, he would have been welcomed to any social circle in the Academy, but he chose to remain alone, aloof from the rest—except for me.

Part of the problem might have been his secrecy. He still got defensive and angry if anyone mentioned his home or family. I knew next to nothing about him except that he came from one of the wealthiest and most influential families on Apollo. Then again, he didn’t know much about me either other than that I came from Victoria and missed my family. We seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to speak about our homes which I found it best to stick to—no matter how curious I was about his past.

As the days wore on, I found myself trusting him more and more…and longing for his touch. He was often affectionate, putting an arm around my shoulders or pulling me close to give me ‘noogies’ which I enjoyed much more than I would have thought possible. I reminded myself that he was treating me like the male he thought I was but somehow every touch of his large, warm hand on my skin or hair sent my heart into overdrive.

I knew North would never feel anything beyond friendship for me. After all, he thought I was male and he wasn’t attracted to other males. But sometimes it almost seemed as though he
might
return some of my unspoken feelings, especially when he teased me about my “pretty face” as he often did. Comments like that always gave me an equal measure of fear and delight. I couldn’t help loving the fact that he thought me “pretty” but I feared he might think I was
too
pretty to be male and find out my secret.

And it wasn’t only my face that threatened to give me away.

About a month and a half into the fall semester I was studying at the desk while North was lying on his bed reading. We were exploring a concept in Astro Navigation that I hadn’t encountered before and I was deeply engrossed in the contents of my tablet. So deeply engrossed, in fact, that I didn’t hear North come over until he was standing right behind me, looking over my shoulder.

“What are you doing?” I looked up uncertainly as he leaned over the back of my chair. I could feel the heat from his big body radiating along my spine and his warm breath on the top of my head, ruffling my short hair.

“Just seeing what has you so interested, shorty. You haven’t so much as twitched for the last twenty minutes.”

Had he really been watching me for twenty minutes? My stomach fluttered but I kept my voice steady when I spoke. “I’m just going over this new interstellar flight concept in Astro Navigation. It’s fascinating—don’t you think?”

“Yeah, just amazing. In fact…” I heard him take a deep breath and then another. “Hey…” His voice sounded funny. “How come your hair smells like flowers and…” Leaning down, he buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. “And apples. That’s weird.”

I felt myself freeze in my seat. “It’s the shampoo I use, maybe,” I said, shrugging. “But I, uh, never noticed it having much of a smell.”

“Well, it does.” He sniffed me again, sending chills down my spine before standing back to frown at me. “It makes you smell like a…like a
girl
.”

Now my heart started pounding for a different reason. What if he somehow guessed my secret through scent alone? But that was impossible—wasn’t it? “Stop being a jerk, North,” I said, striving to keep my voice level. “I’m sorry if you don’t like the smell but everybody uses this kind of shampoo in Victoria.”

“I never said I didn’t like the smell.” He pressed deeper into my hair and inhaled again, sending shivers of pure sensation down my spine. “In fact I
do
like it. Maybe…” He withdrew abruptly. “Maybe
too
much,” I heard him murmur to himself in a low voice.

“What?” I demanded, turning to face him. My heart was thundering in my chest and my cheeks felt hot but I tried not to show my inner turmoil.

North shook his head, a troubled look on his face. “Nothing—it’s nothing. But I think you’d better use my shampoo from now on. If any of the other guys catch a whiff of you smelling like you do right now, Broward won’t be the only one after you.”

I thought about pointing out to North that
he
was the only person who really got close enough to actually smell me. But I didn’t. Because what if he stopped? I liked the casual touching that went on between us—the way he invaded my space on a daily basis. I didn’t want to do anything to end that.

“Fine,” I said shortly. “I’ll use yours if it will make you happy.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, frowning. “I think it would.”

So that night during our early morning shower raid, as I had begun to think of my stolen showers, I used one of North’s shampoo pellets instead of my own. It had a dark, masculine aroma that reminded me of him and I relished the feeling of being surrounded by his scent. As usual, I washed my hair and used the excess foam to scrub my body before rinsing and toweling off. Once back in the room, I waited until North doused the light to change rapidly into my pajamas.

I was just sliding under the covers, my hair still slightly damp, when he called to me in a low voice. “Jameson? Hey, come over here.”