The Academy (26 page)

For a long moment we looked into each other’s eyes. I felt like his piercing blue gaze was staring right into my soul and my mouth was so dry I couldn’t form words to answer him. I had the strange idea that he wanted to kiss me but I knew that couldn’t be—not when he still thought I was a male. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally whispered, “North…”

He sighed and shook his head, as though trying to clear it. “Look, the point is, you need to relax. Okay?”

“All right.” I nodded, sensing that the strange moment between us was broken. I tried to clear my own head of the unsettling feelings inside me and concentrate instead on relaxing. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and tried to let go of my fear. I was safe in North’s strong arms, I told myself. Safe and secure. He wouldn’t drop me. Wouldn’t let me go.

“Good,” I heard him murmur, as I loosed my hold around his neck. “Now just lean backward a little at a time. I’m going to keep my hands under your back and hips but the water is going to take most of your weight.”

It didn’t seem possible that the thin liquid slapping gently against my skin could bear me up, but I told myself again to trust him. Leaning back, I felt the cool waves lapping against the back of my head, then kissing my cheeks as North’s strong hands held me steady. I unbent my legs, straightening them out to rest on the surface of the water and doing my best to let myself go boneless.

To my surprise, North was right. Though it seemed impossible, once my body was completely relaxed I could feel the salty waves bearing me up, almost like a giant, friendly hand.

“It’s working!” I looked up at him and grinned. “I’m floating, North!”

“I know.” He grinned back. “I’m barely touching you—can you tell?”

I nodded. I could feel only the slightest pressure of his fingertips against my back. “It’s amazing.”

“It’s relaxing when you really know how,” he said. “But you have to be careful you don’t go to sleep out here and float out to sea.”

I couldn’t imagine doing that. I enjoyed the giant water-hand holding me up but the sky above my head was turning a deep purple as Prometheus set and the water was getting in my ears, making it hard to hear. I felt a chill go through me, as though the ocean’s temperature had dropped—it was time to go in.

“It’s a lovely sensation,” I said, looking up at North. “But, uh, how do I stop?”

He laughed. “Just put your legs down. Go ahead—I’ve got you.” Gently, he guided me down until I was standing on my tiptoes in the sand at the ocean floor. Even when I was completely upright, he didn’t let go of my arm. Instead he gave me a searching look and then nodded at the shore. “I think you’ve had enough for one lesson and the tide will be coming in soon. Come on, let’s go in.”

I was only too glad to follow him out of the lapping waves. North kept a firm grip on my wrist until we reached the shore. It wasn’t until we stepped completely out of the ocean that he let me go—reluctantly, I thought.

“Well.” I pushed my wet hair back from my forehead. “That wasn’t so bad.”

“No, not at all.” North sounded bemused, as though he was as surprised as me that my first swimming lesson had gone so well. He sighed and shook himself. “But that breeze is cold once you get out! Let’s grab our towels and go back to the house. Maybe get some hot chocolate.”

I frowned at him. “What’s hot chocolate?”

“You’ve never had…never mind.” North smiled. “You’re in for a treat. Come on.”

The hot chocolate—an old recipe from Earth-that-was—was the most delicious thing I’d ever put in my mouth and I told North so enthusiastically.

He rolled his eyes. “Like I couldn’t tell after your third cup.” But he seemed pleased that I enjoyed the treat so much. By the time I finished my last cup, his mother and father had long gone to bed and we had the house to ourselves. It was getting late when North finally suggested it was time to turn in. I was still nervous about the idea of sleeping in the same bed with him, but I knew I couldn’t say anything else about it so I simply nodded.

While changing into my pajamas in the fresher, I debated on whether to unbind my breasts or not. The bindings I’d been wearing in the ocean were wet, of course, but I did have a spare set with me just in case. In the end, comfort won out. I was pretty certain that even if North accidentally brushed against me during the night, he wouldn’t feel anything through my pajamas. It was one of the definite perks of being flat-chested. I wrung out the wet bindings and put them in the small quick-dry unit before rolling them up tight and hiding them in my bundle of clothes.

When I got back to his room, North had already doused the lights and was occupying the left side of the bed. The only light was the faint silvery glow of Zeus through the window. I couldn’t help noticing that the ringed planet was in a different position in the Apollo sky than it had been when we were on Ares where the Academy was located.

I dropped my bundle of clothes, neatly folded, onto a chair and climbed in beside North. I was careful to stay to the far right side, near the edge.

“Hey, shrimp, you don’t have to scrunch up way over there,” he murmured, turning to face me. “I’m not going to bite, you know.”

“I know,” I said, reluctantly scooting toward the middle.

“Good. Get comfortable. You can even kick me if I snore.”

“You don’t snore,” I said.

“Well,
you
do.” He laughed at my indignant look. “Just kidding. I’ve only heard you snore once and I think it was when you were really tired.”

“All right.” Somewhat mollified, I settled down, getting the pillow placed more comfortably under my head.

“You know who used to snore?” North asked quietly, just as I was beginning to feel sleepy. “Jamie.”

Instantly I was alert. Was he finally going to give me some answers to my many internal questions? “Did he?” I asked neutrally, turning on my side to face him. “Did that, ah, have to do with his medical condition?”

“Nah.” In the dim light, I saw North shake his head. “He was just generally loud about everything he did. I mean, he was sick all of his life but he never let that stop him, you know? He banged and shouted and thumped wherever he was and whatever he was doing.” He sighed. “The house seems so quiet now, with him gone. Right about now when I was trying to go to sleep, he’d be starting to blast his music. Used to piss me off…” He sighed again. “But now I miss it. Isn’t that stupid?”

“It’s not stupid to miss your brother,” I said softly. I thought of how much I missed my own brother, of how he was light years away from me now in a completely different solar system. The idea made my eyes fill with tears but I blinked them away.

“You’re missing someone too, aren’t you?” North asked softly.

Hesitantly, I nodded. “I can’t talk much about it much but…yes.”

“Is it the same person you were crying for, the first night in the dorm? The same person you snuck off campus to call?”

I nodded again. “Yes. The same person both times. But I can’t really say anymore than that.”

“Just tell me one more thing,” North said. “Was it a girl? Is there someone special—a girlfriend you’re waiting to get back to?”

“What?” I almost laughed in surprise. “No! No, of course not. I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Didn’t think so.” North sounded satisfied about something. “So to be clear, this person isn’t someone you’re uh,
romantically
involved with at all?”

I couldn’t understand why he was asking me that but I guessed it couldn’t hurt to answer. “No, nothing like that,” I assured him. “I love this person very much but not
that
way. The way I feel for him is the same way you felt for your brother,” I added, hoping I wasn’t going too far.

“All right—that’s good to know. I had to make sure before…”

“Before what?” I asked.

“Before…before…” He seemed to be struggling with himself. “Before I asked you to be my…my… sworn brother,” he burst out at last.

“Sworn brother? What’s that?” I had the strangest feeling he’d wanted to ask me something else but I had no idea what.

“It’s a thing we have here on Apollo.” North leaned closer, so close I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. “A friendship so strong it transcends every other relationship in your life.” He looked at me intently. “Would you…could you feel that for me, do you think?”

My heart began pounding and for some reason I found it hard to get a deep enough breath. “Yes,” I assured him in a whisper, sitting up as well. “Oh yes, North. I…I could feel that for you.”
That and so much more,
my heart whispered but I tried to ignore it. After all, North was only offering me friendship, wasn’t he?

“Good.” He sounded both relieved and excited. “Then we have to seal it—seal our brotherhood.”

“How do we do that?” I asked uncertainly.

“A blood pact.” North turned on the dim bedside lamp and looked at me intently. “And a token. Something both of us wear to show what we mean to each other.”

“A blood pact?” I asked uncertainly. “How—”

“It’s not as scary as it sounds, shrimp,” he promised me. “Here, let me get some disinfectant and a needle.”

He got up and rummaged around in the drawers of his desk before extracting some alcohol pads and a small red case. “Mending kit,” he explained, bringing it to the bed. “Mom always says that guys should know how to sew too—at least enough to patch their own clothes.”

“Really?” I said, surprised. “You know how to sew?”

“Well, I couldn’t make you a
sweater
or anything, but if you ever rip a hole in your uniform pants and don’t want the hassle of bothering Hinks for a new pair, I’m your man.”

I wasn’t half bad with a needle myself, sewing and embroidery being one of the womanly arts I hadn’t been able to avoid learning in Victoria. But of course, I didn’t tell North. “That’s amazing,” I said, instead. “Your mother is full of surprises.”

“She made Jamie and me learn to cook and clean too.” North laughed. “She says someday our future wives will thank her.” He looked suddenly sober. “Uh, that’s what she always
said
, anyway. Back before…” He trailed off, shaking his head and bent to study the contents of the small red case intently.

“North…” I began, but he was already ripping open on of the small alcohol pads. Immediately the sharp smell I associated with inoculations assaulted my nose. North swabbed his own fingertip and then passed me the pad. I swabbed mine as well. We worked in silence and I was just thinking of asking him exactly how Jamie had died when he pulled out a long silver needle.

“Hold out your finger,” he said.

Hesitantly, I held out my right index finger—the one I had swabbed. “Are you going to—”

“I’ll make it quick,” he said and jabbed the tender pad of my finger with the needle.

I let out a startled yelp and was about to put the hurt finger in my mouth but North shook his head.

“No, don’t. We need the blood.” Then he jabbed his own finger and put down the needle.

“For what?”

“For this.” I watched as a bright crimson drop welled on his fingertip and then North pressed his wounded finger to mine, mingling our blood. “Now,” he said, “Repeat after me: You are the brother of my heart, the brother of my soul. I swear here and now to be true to you, to stand ever at your side in times of peace and times of danger. I will let nothing come between us—not war, nor women, nor wine. I will live by your side and die by your side, true even unto death. So swear I this sacred pact by the blood we now share.”

“Wow,” I whispered, taking a moment to absorb the words. It was a heavy oath—not that I minded taking it. I wanted everything North was offering me—wanted it badly. I just wished I could offer myself to him as wholeheartedly and unreservedly as he was offering himself to me. But for right now, this was the best I could do.

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. If you don’t
feel
it,” North murmured, studying me intently. “It’s not something to be taken lightly. These words will bind us together. Forever.”

I realized I had taken too long to repeat the oath. “I know,” I assured him. “And I want that—want us to be bound together. I’m just…trying to take it in.” I looked into his eyes. “But I
do
want to say it to you, North. Very much.”