The Accidental Wife (21 page)

Hope and Faith

R
ihaan tracked down the surgeon in his office and tried to reason with him, even beseeching him to reconsider his decision. But when the man appeared unmoved, he resorted to the next best thing he knew. He threatened to sue him along with the entire medical facility for negligence.

The Afghan laughed to Rihaan’s bemusement. “This is not America. No one sues anyone here, because no one has the time or the money. We are all busy fighting to stay alive.” He wrote something down on a prescription pad and handed it over to Rihaan. “I understand how you feel. Here, go and check out this place. I’m sorry, but it’s the best I can do.”

Rihaan thrust the paper in his pocket and rushed from the building in urgent need for some fresh air, but also to check his impulse to punch the doc on his jaw. He was practically seizing with anger.

That will be of no benefit to Naina, rather it is bound to be counterproductive. Under no circumstance whatsoever do I want her to pay for my poor judgment. I have to curb my frustrations and try to think clearly,
he brooded as he passed through the lobby. He had always found it filled to the brim, with people in varying degrees of grief and mourning. As he tried to push his way through a wall of cops blocking the entrance, his gaze fell on a television monitor that hung close to the door. It was tuned to
Al Jazeera
news. Images of the recent bomb blast flashed across the screen, followed by those of American soldiers who were soon to be withdrawn from the area. One of them, upon being interviewed, said that he couldn’t wait to get home.

But of course! Why didn’t I think of it before?
Rihaan berated himself.

He spent the following several hours on the phone, talking to a series of people, explaining and re-explaining his plight, negotiating, even cajoling and making appropriate arrangements, so that it was morning before he was able to head back to Naina’s room.

He bent down to kiss her gently on the forehead and then whispered in her ear, like he had so many times before, hoping his voice would register somewhere in her subconscious.

“Darling, as I said before, you’re going to be fine. Tomorrow I’m going to take you home.”

***

A few days later in the Neurocritical care unit of a premier NYC hospital…

“Naina…” Rihaan sat on the edge of her bed, waiting.

“Mrs. Mehta, can you open your eyes?” a nurse said on the other side of her bed.

“Naina, wake up, it’s me, Rihaan.”

She opened her eyes. He felt a thrill rush through him.
At last.

Her head turned toward him. But her eyes…they didn’t see him. They saw through him.

“Naina…?” he asked again.

Her gaze veered away.

“Naina!” He grabbed her face, in the process dislodging a couple of monitor leads that set off a chorus of loud beeps. But he didn’t care. All that mattered to him right now was her. Her knowing him. “Naina, look at me. It’s Rihaan, your husband!”

Her glassy eyes remained blank.

“I love you. Please say something, anything.” He bent down and kissed her lips, but felt no returning pressure. She whimpered, indicating her discomfort.

“Dr. Mehta…” The nurse urged, pressing gently on his arm.

He released his wife and withdrew into a corner and watched silently as the staff went about their business.

You’re reacting prematurely Rihaan,
he thought.
You have to allow for the drugs to wear out of her system. You have to be patient. You have to give her time.

After consulting with Naina’s neurologist, Rihaan had discontinued all but her anti-seizure medications. In response, she seemed more alert at times, but then during others she appeared to revert back to a blank glassy stare that rotated aimlessly across the room. She also seemed to have lost all purposeful movement. The staff had to move and position her like a mannequin. She rarely spoke, and when she did, her speech was unintelligible; a garbled mish-mash of words that Rihaan couldn’t make out even when he strained very hard.

But he didn’t give up hope, sure that it was a transition period.
Time, Rihaan, give her time!
He reminded himself of it over and over again.

But Naina wouldn’t eat, and she was losing weight by the day despite the tube feeds, which was worrisome. He discussed his concerns with her gastroenterologist who suggested instituting a special tube into her stomach as a better way of supplementing her nutrition.

“No,” Rihaan said with a cringe. He had seen feeding tubes turn many individuals into permanent invalids and he didn’t want the same fate for Naina. He wanted her to have every chance at a normal life. He left saying he needed some time to think about the decision.

When he returned to her room, he was taken aback by the sight of both his parents, his mother in particular, who had always maintained that she hated hospitals, including the very sight and smell of death and disease. He saw her standing and staring aghast at his wife, who sat propped up in a bedside recliner with the nurse fussing about her. Naina seemed restless for some reason.

“Dad,” Rihaan said, turning to Shashank. “I asked you specifically not to bring Mom here. She doesn’t get hospitals. And I don’t want anything to upset Naina at this time.”

“I’m sorry, son, but she insisted. She went to the temple this morning and brought some
prasad
for
bahu.”

“Naina is not in any state to take
prasad
,” Rihaan said, glaring at his mother, but she didn’t appear to hear him.

“What is wrong with
bahu?
Look at her! So pale and thin. I can even see her bones!” she exclaimed, raising a hand to her mouth in a show of horror, which infuriated Rihaan even more. “Look at the big dark circles around her eyes and where is her beautiful long hair? And why is she staring at me like that…as if she hates me or something?”

Rihaan turned to look at his wife. Indeed, her gaze had become vehement and fixed, and her movements were increasingly agitated. Naina was pulling at everything; her face, the hospital gown and IV lines. The nurse couldn’t keep her still.

All of a sudden Naina’s lips curled back and her face turned into a horrible fiendish mask. And from in between her clenched teeth started pouring out a torrent of bizarre nonsensical speech.

“Naina!” He rushed to her side, but she wouldn’t calm down. Her nails dug sharply into his flesh as her body grew rigid like a board. He recognized the malady for he had seen it happen several times before. Her eyes rolled back into her head, the muscles in her neck stood up in painful tense cords and she began thrashing violently and choking on her own saliva. And while his mother screamed hysterically in the background, Rihaan along with several other hospital staff tried to hold Naina down and sedate her again. She packed an amazing amount of strength in that tiny, little frame.

An hour or so later when Rihaan emerged exhausted from the hospital room, he was surprised to see his parents still there, waiting in the lounge. He managed a tired smile at his father who came up to him bearing a face full of anxiety and concern. “Naina’s fine. She’s sleeping now. You can go home.”

“Fine?” His mother cried out from her perch in the corner. “You call behavior like that fine? When one rants, raves, and curses and exposes herself in front of her in-laws? I call it shocking and offensive!”

“Mother! Please understand. Naina wasn’t aware of anything that was going on. She was having a seizure!”

“I don’t believe it. She did it because she hates me. I saw it in her eyes!” Shobha shot back.

“Naina can’t control her…” Rihaan began to explain, then cut his sentence short. He quietly turned on his heels and left. Convincing anyone, least of all his mother regarding her daughter-in-law’s lack of malice didn’t figure anywhere on his list of priorities.

And Naina wasn’t fine. She began having recurrent and violent partial complex seizures, which to control she had to be kept under a drug cloud, in a semiconscious state. Rihaan felt at once helpless and frustrated. He couldn’t handle the sight of seeing his wife committed yet again to a state where she was barely alive and utterly dependent on others for even the most mundane of her bodily functions. He wanted her back, like she’d been before, vibrant and wonderful. He wanted his Naina back. But the options to help her seemed to be running out.

***

Late the following evening, after having reviewed and discussed the results of a battery of tests with his boss, Rihaan began to see a glimmer of hope. Naina’s case was going to be discussed by a panel of experts and his chief had assured him that a solution was bound to be found.

“Have faith, son,” he had said, clapping him on his back. “Good things happen to good people. And your wife is one of the best.”

Rihaan hurried back to the hospital. He hadn’t seen Naina all day. Besides, he wanted to tell her about the developments, whisper into her ear, like he’d been doing all along. Talking to her made him feel good.

He was intercepted in the lobby by his mother, an occurrence he’d least expected. He smiled at her, “Are you here to see your
bahu?”

“No, I’m here to see my son and bring him some home-cooked food,” she retorted, handing over a large bag.

“Well, if that is the only reason, then I don’t want to see you. You can take back the food. I’ve lost the taste for it.” He turned away.

“Rihaan! My son!
Hey Bhagwan!
” she cried, pulling on his arm. “What has that girl done to you?”

“That girl has a name…Naina.”

She ignored him. “She has turned you into
Devdas.
I see a haunted look in your eyes. Where has my carefree, go-getter son gone to?”

“Stop being melodramatic, Ma. It doesn’t become you,” he said with a short laugh. “And the carefree go-getter son you talk about was a rudderless, selfish bastard. Naina, who’s my wife by the way, has changed me for the better. I know where I’m headed now, and she’s going to be with me all the way.”

“No, she won’t. Not the way she is now…” Shobha said, her voice loaded with skepticism.

“She’s sick, that’s all. But she’ll get better soon. I’m confident.”

Shobha let out a dismal sigh. “She’ll never get better. I remember a neighbor we used to have in our village. I was very young then. This girl, who used to be my friend, had attacks just like Naina. She’d be walking on the street when suddenly she’d fall to the ground, start pulling her hair, and begin screaming like a madwoman… They said she was possessed by the devil. But the
ojha
couldn’t do anything. Her attacks grew so bad that she had to be kept chained up in a solitary room. I don’t know exactly what happened to her. Someone said she cut her throat because she had lost her mind. I can see Naina in her place.”

“Dangerous superstitious nonsense!” Rihaan exploded. “Your poor friend needed a good doctor, not an exorcist! Mother, I’m surprised that you allowed yourself to believe in such crap. Naina hasn’t lost her mind. She just needs some help.”

She gave him a look. “You’ve already helped her a lot, don’t you think? She’s taken enough advantage of you.”

“What do you mean?” Rihaan scrutinized her suspiciously.

“I mean what I say,” Shobha said, looking at him with a strange light in her eyes. “I can’t see you wasting your future for a girl who left you. She abandoned a loving husband, for her own selfish motives. Naina has become a vegetable and will remain like that for the rest of her life.”

“So what do you expect me to do? Leave her?”

“Yes.” His mother nodded, continuing earnestly as Rihaan stared at her in horror. “I want you to leave her. Marry another girl and be happy. I’m sure Naina would want the same. Unfortunately she’s not in a state to say so.”

“I’m glad she’s not in a state to say so and even if she was, I wouldn’t listen to her. Because she’s my wife and I love her… I love her like a crazy madman! She’s the only one who can make me happy. And she won’t be able to get rid of me, either, no matter how hard she tried. Got it Ma? Let’s forget that we ever had this conversation,” Rihaan said getting up from his seat. He’d had enough of his mother’s uncalled for advice.

As he walked away with a renewed determination in his step, he recalled the conversation they’d had in a caf
é
not so long ago, when he’d told Naina about his patient; about a young man rendered totally incapacitated by an inoperable brain tumor, and his wife who wouldn’t give up. Naina had uttered plainly that he would know why she hadn’t given up if he found himself in a similar situation.

Now he understood what her words meant. Hope and faith kept them going through the toughest of times. And he had plenty of both.

***

Rihaan waited impatiently outside the conference room where a group of consultants had gathered to discuss Naina’s case. He’d been asked to participate, but had declined, because he’d let emotions cloud his judgment. That wouldn’t be fair to her.

The meeting ended and the doctors dispersed, nodding with encouragement at him. A couple of them even gave him the thumbs up sign. He turned to his boss who’d headed the meeting, “So Chief, what’s the consensus?”