The Adultress (57 page)

The fact was that I was bewildered. I was too young to realize what was happening. I was not afraid of life, as Sophie was; I was avid for it. I was ready to rush forward and savour it without wondering what the consequences would be. When I understood myself better I realized that my nature was by no means frigid. I wanted experience. Dickon had aroused me when I had been too young to realize that I was being physically stimulated and I had sublimated my feelings for him into a devotion and what I thought of as abiding love. Now Charles de Tourville came along and he reminded me so much of Dickon that I could not help being attracted to him.

I was young and ignorant, and although he was not old in years he was in experience. I think he understood exactly what was happening to me and found it very diverting. Since he was the sort of man who would visit an establishment like that of Madame Rougemont, he was no doubt in search of fresh sensation and a young girl such as I could provide just that. I gathered later that it was not such a coincidence as I had first thought that he should happen to be at Madame Rougemont’s when Lisette and I called there. Up to that time he had been a frequent visitor there and had looked in almost regularly to see if there was anyone who could amuse him for a while.

Naturally the families met often, which meant that he was constantly in the house. The wedding was to take place in three weeks’ time when all the excitement over that of the Dauphin and Marie Antoinette had died down.

In the meantime, as the families were both in Paris, and my father would no doubt take part in some of the ceremonies of the royal marriage, we saw a great deal of each other.

The Tourvilles gave a ball and once more I danced with Charles, and this time I was conscious of Sophie as she watched us. She insisted that Charles seemed to like me very much and when I protested that I thought he had a very poor opinion of me, she assured me that this was not so.

‘Oh,’ I said, ‘he is so much in love with you that he even likes your family.’

And that seemed to please her.

When I saw Lisette next I told her who Charles de Tourville was, and what a shock I had had at the ball.

‘Is it really so?’ she cried; and she started to laugh. But when I talked of him she did not seem very interested.

‘I only hope he doesn’t tell about us,’ I said.

‘How could he? He’d have to explain how he happened to be there.’

‘Lisette,’ I said, ‘when I came to tell you about it when the ball was over, you weren’t in your bed.’

She looked at me steadily and said: ‘Oh …you must have come when I was in one of the attics with the servants watching the guests depart. There is a good view up there.’

And I forgot about that until much later.

It was the day of the Dauphin’s wedding and my parents had gone to Versailles to attend the reception afterwards which was to be held in the Galerie des Glaces. I felt an uneasiness which I could not shake off. My thoughts were filled with Charles de Tourville and his coming marriage to Sophie. I fervently wished I could forget that man and not be so disturbed by his presence. It was not that I liked him … in fact I disliked all that he stood for; but on the other hand when he was not present, it seemed dull; and if he were to put in an unexpected appearance, I would feel an elation which try as I might I could neither suppress nor ignore.

There was to be a fireworks display in the evening and Charles with Armand were to conduct Sophie and me to the place so that we could have a good view. However during the afternoon the skies became overcast, the rain pelted down and the thunder and lightning were really alarming.

Sophie was terrified as she always had been of thunder, and Charles comforted her solicitously under my cynical eyes. He was clearly amused by my attitude.

‘No trip to Versailles,’ announced Armand. ‘There’ll be no fireworks tonight.’

‘The people will not be very pleased. A lot of them are trudging out to Versailles just to see them,’ said Charles.

‘They can’t blame the King for the storm,’ said Armand with a laugh. ‘Though I have no doubt some of them will.’

‘I dare say they will do the fireworks display on another occasion,’ added Charles. ‘Perhaps here in Paris, which would be sensible. It would save the trip to Versailles.’

‘What an end to the wedding-day!’ I murmured.

‘People are going to say it is a bad omen,’ added Charles.

‘Poor little bride,’ I couldn’t help saying, looking straight at Charles. ‘I hope she will be happy.’

‘They say she looks like a girl who can take care of herself,’ Charles replied, gazing into my eyes. ‘There are some like that. Perhaps that sort need more of a man than our little Dauphin has so far proved himself to be.’

‘Hush!’ said Armand in a mocking voice. ‘You speak treason.’

That evening the four of us played a card game while we listened to the rain spluttering on to the windows of the
hôtel.
The streets were quiet; it was very different from what we had expected it to be and rather an anticlimax to all the fuss there had been about the royal wedding.

The next day my parents returned to the
hôtel.
My mother was ecstatic about the reception at Versailles. Sophie and I made her tell us all about it. It had taken place in the chapel of the Palace and my parents had been very honoured to be present. This was because some long way back my father had a blood connection with the royal family.

‘Poor little Dauphin!’ said my mother. ‘He looked most disconsolate in spite of his gold-spangled net garments. Most unhappy and uncertain.
She
looked enchanting. She is a most attractive girl … so fair and dainty and she was beautiful in a white brocade gown with panniers, which made her look so graceful. We went through the Galerie des Glaces and the Grands Appartements to the Chapel, where the Swiss guards were assembled. Those dear children! They looked so young, they made me want to weep as they knelt before Monseigneur de la Roche-Aymon. I thought the Dauphin was going to drop the ring and the gold pieces he had to bestow on the bride.’

‘What about the fireworks display?’ I asked.

‘Oh, that is going to be later … in Paris. In a week or so, I imagine. There was so much disappointment about it. It has to take place or the people will feel they have been cheated. What do you think? The little Dauphine made a blot on the marriage contract as she signed her name. The King seemed quite amused.’

‘They will be saying that is an omen,’ said Armand. ‘What with the storm and the blot … they’ll really have something to work on. And wasn’t there an earthquake somewhere on the day Marie Antoinette was born?’

‘In Lisbon,’ said my father. ‘What has Lisbon to do with France? The people will like her. Oh yes, they will cheer her, for she is very pretty.’

‘And that counts for a great deal with the French,’ I put in, which made them all laugh.

Then my mother went on to describe the reception presided over by the King.

‘How old he is getting!’ She sighed. ‘It is a good thing that there is a Dauphin to follow on.’

‘A pity the boy is not older and more of a man,’ added the Comte.

‘Boys grow up,’ my mother reminded him.

‘Some take a long time doing it.’

‘Oh, it was so beautiful,’ went on my mother. ‘Although it was so dark outside it was as light as day in the Galerie. I don’t know how many candelabra there were and each had thirty candles. I counted them. The young people looked adorable sitting at the table which was covered with green velvet decorated with gold braid and beautifully fringed. You should have been there. As a matter of fact the people were so disappointed because of the cancellation of the fireworks display that they were determined to see something and broke into the Palace. They stormed up to the Galerie and mingled with the guests.’ She turned to my father. ‘Do you know, at one time, I felt rather frightened.’

‘No need to be on such an occasion,’ my father answered. ‘The people are pleased about the wedding. As a matter of fact, they are quite fond of the Dauphin and are longing for the King to die so that his grandson can take his place. They long to turn du Barry out on the streets, and as soon as the King dies that is what they will do.’

‘I heard the Dauphiness made a little gaffe which is amusing the whole court and beyond,’ said Armand. ‘When she saw the du Barry close to the King she was interested and asked what was the function of the beautiful lady. “To amuse the King”, was the answer. “Then”, said our little girl, so anxious to please her new Papa, “I shall be her rival”.’

Everyone laughed.

‘There was a shocked silence,’ the Comte said. ‘But Louis knows exactly how to deal with such situations in whatever else he fails, and all agree that he has the most gracious manners at Court. He patted the hand of the little Dauphiness and said he was delighted that she had become his little granddaughter, and poor Marie Antoinette was quite unaware of the social error she had committed.’

‘She won’t be for long,’ said Armand.

‘Well,’ added my mother, smiling at Sophie, ‘weddings are in the air. I wish the greatest happiness to the brides and their grooms.’

The date of the fireworks display had now been announced. It was to take place in the Place Louis XV and already workmen were busy setting lamps along the Champs Elysées; and in the Place Louis XV itself, a Corinthian temple was being put up near the King’s statue.

It was exciting to be in the streets during those May days. People who had goods to sell were making the most of the occasion. The well-known markets were busy and new ones had been set up wherever it was possible to do so. Salesmen and women were everywhere; medallions of the royal bride and groom were on sale with the flags of France and Austria; at every street corner there was a coffee woman, and lemonade-sellers who seemed to be doing a good trade with the thirsty people of Paris as well as those who had come into the city from the surrounding country.

It was impossible not to be caught up in the mood, and as the sun was shining after the great storm, it was good to be out.

Charles suggested that the four of us take a stroll down the Champs-Elysées to see how the decorations were progressing. Then we could wander into the Place Louis XV to take a look at the much talked-of Corinthian temple. The people would be amusing in any case.

So Charles, Armand, Sophie and I set out that morning.

We were all full of high spirits. Armand was quite amusing in his cynical way although he said he hated the people- ‘the unwashed’, he called them. He said the smell of them offended him. He was a very fastidious gentleman.

Charles warned him. ‘Don’t let them see your contempt, my dear fellow. Even on such a day as this, with all their loyalty to the crown they could easily take offence.’

Sophie was radiant, but my feelings were mixed. I was elated because I enjoyed Charles’s company so much and I kept telling myself that when they were married they would go to his estates in the south and I should not see them very often. That would be good, because I did not really like the man.

But that morning I was determined to enjoy myself.

We strolled along. A band was playing somewhere. From a building fluttered the flags of France and Austria, reminding the people that the country now had a reliable ally through this marriage, which would mean more to France than the happiness of two young people.

We strolled down the Champs-Elysées. It was going to look beautiful tonight with all those lamps aglow. In the Place Louis XV figures of dolphins were being set up and there was the grand medallion of the Dauphin and his bride. I stood beneath the bronze statue of the King on horseback surrounded by figures representing Prudence, Justice, Force and Peace.

Charles was beside me. ‘You look good there, sister Lottie,’ he said. ‘Tell me, are you prudent, just, forceful and peace-loving?’

‘Perhaps I have not lived long enough to discover.’

‘A very wise answer,’ he commented. ‘It is not always easy to be prudent and just, and if your are going to show force can you be peaceful?’

‘I suppose one must aim to have these qualities.’

‘As long as one tries perhaps that is good enough. It is not always possible to succeed though, is it? You are looking at me severely, Lottie. I don’t know why you do that so often, when you know you really like me very much.’

Sophie was coming towards us and I saw the watchful look in her eye. There was a hint of the distrust she had always had of herself before the coming of Charles.

‘We were talking about the statues,’ I said, ‘and Charles was saying how difficult it was to have the four qualities they represent.’

Charles took her by the arm. ‘Come, Sophie,’ he said, ‘let us look at them more closely and you tell me what you think of the workmanship. It was Pigalle, I think … but I’m not sure.’

He drew her away from me and was smiling into her face with such love that she was completely satisfied.

When we left the Place Louis XV we walked leisurely home and on the way we passed a stall on which several kinds of ornaments were displayed. Among them were some delicately fashioned flowers in silk. The colours were beautiful and Sophie gave a cry of admiration.

‘Why,’ she said, ‘that is just the colour of my lavender gown.’

‘I believe you really like it,’ said Charles. He picked it up and held it against her dress. ‘Enchanting,’ he went on, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. The saleswomen—there were two of them—applauded. Charles gave them one of his quick speculative glances which I noticed he bestowed on women, and these two were young and one quite pretty.

‘My lady must have it, do you not think so?’ he asked.

The two women laughed and said the lady had a very kind admirer.

Charles paid for the flower and handed it to Sophie. She looked so happy as she took it that I felt a little lump in my throat. I hoped fervently that she would always remain in blissful ignorance of the kind of man he was.

He had picked up another flower. It was a red peony—a most lovely shade of scarlet.

He held it against my hair.

‘What do you think?’ he asked the salesgirls.