THE AFFAIR (23 page)

“Yet you had sex with him.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.” In mid scream I realized what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop the high-pitched sound from coming from my throat. Larry’s mouth was open in shocked horror. He was staring at me, as if he thought I was a stranger, a crazed stranger.

“Larry, stop being an attorney for once. Stop looking for clues. There’s no need. I’m telling you what happened. It had nothing to do with sex.”

I regretted briefly my self-indulgent scream as I heard the mumble of voices. I’d awakened the demon kids.

For a long moment I stared at my husband before I spoke. “Why can’t you be honest with yourself? Why do you always freeze up when it’s time to discipline the kids? You’re such a strong confident man. I’ve seen you in the courtroom. You’re brilliant, you don’t take any crap off of anyone. Your one weakness is the kids. They’re not going to stop loving you if you discipline them. You’re their hero. They’re always going to love you.

I was pleading with him. Maybe there was something more than his mother abandoning him that was at work here. Maybe she’d beaten him and he’d never told me. There had to be something that made my husband, whom I knew without a doubt loved me, shove me aside time and again for our kids. I hesitated a moment, made another decision. I couldn’t continue to live the same life I’d led. I was going to heed the advice of the voice. With or without Larry, I was going to learn to live again.

I shut my eyes for a moment, the remnants of a sob long dead filling my chest and coming out as a sigh. “Baby, help me, please. Tell me what’s going on. Why the kids, Larry? Why are they more important to you than I am? Why are they more important than our marriage?”

I looked away, darker thoughts filling my mind, thoughts that I knew were not true, but still they came.

Larry saw the look on my face and knew what I was thinking. “Don’t go down that road, Mick,” he warned. “What is it that you want me to tell you?”

“Tell me the truth.”

“What truth?”

“Why are you so willing to throw our lives away? The children are grown. You’ve fulfilled your obligations. This time should be for us.”

“That’s just it, Mick, you see them as obligations. They were never that for me. They were gifts, precious gifts, just as you were. Are you faulting me for loving my children, for loving you? You never talked like this before…before…”

I saw his confusion and it saddened me, permeating every cell in my body with sorrow. “Before what? Before Chance? If that’s the case I think we both owe him our thanks. If we salvage this marriage it will be because of him.”

I turned on my heels to go and get dressed. We were not getting anything accomplished. We were merely going around in circles.

“
If
, Mick?
If
we salvage our marriage?”

His voice was so forlorn that I almost changed my mind. This life I was leading was not what I wanted, yet I didn’t know how to go back and be the same woman I’d been before I met Chance. I didn’t even know how to be the same woman I’d been before I’d hit Viola. Neither woman was me. They’d merely been occupying my body in my absence. Well, I was back now to lay claims on my life.

“Yes,
if
, Larry,” I said loud and clear. Then I went to get dressed.

In less than twenty minutes I was dressed and about to head out the door. Larry was standing nearby watching me. I saw him glance at his watch, then avert his eyes. We both knew I wouldn’t be calling on any of my clients at this ungodly hour. Even the office wouldn’t be open for two more hours.

“Mother, why were you screaming? You woke me and the kids. I think that was very inconsiderate of you.”

It was Erica, who else? I went to my firstborn, kissed her on the cheek, smiled at her and said, “Good morning to you too, dear.” Her eyes widened in surprise as did Larry’s.

I looked at him for a long moment, and I raised my hand to his face to touch his cheek. It was too little, too late. “No, I don’t think so,” I answered him. “It wouldn’t do any good.”

I got in my car and drove away, leaving Larry standing in the drive looking after me. He would be fine. He had Erica and the kids. He had the family he’d always yearned for.

I could barely wait until nine
A.M
. to call Blaine MaDia, though the last thing I needed in this life was another kid. Maybe a child from a past life wouldn’t be as mouthy. I smiled to myself as I listened to the ringing of the phone.

“Hello.”

His voice was smooth and refined. I felt a sharp electrical jab, amazed that even the sound of his voice was having such an effect on me.

“Hi, this is…hmm…hmm.” I had to stop to clear my throat. “I’m sorry. I came to see you a couple of months ago, and I…I… Well, I…”

He laughed, the sound a musical tinkle. “I know who you are,” he answered me. “I was wondering how long it would be before you called.”

I was just a little irritated. I had pictured the conversation going a lot more smoothly. I don’t know if I expected him to tell me how he’d been searching for me as Chance had, but I didn’t expect his evasiveness. He was as mouthy as the kids I had in this life.

“Listen, I have my doubts about you. Matter of fact, my husband thinks you’re a con. He’s a very high profile attorney. If that is the case, I mean, if you’re going around conning people, he can make things very rough for you.”

“Excuse me, but are you threatening me?”

I could feel myself blushing because that was exactly what I was doing. “Listen, let’s start over. I want to make an appointment with you. How much do you charge?”

“I’m very expensive. I have to be in case I need to defend myself against a high profile attorney.”

I found myself laughing then. “That just came out. I’d never been to a psychic before your seminar. I didn’t know what to expect and never in my wildest dreams did I expect what did occur. I just want to talk to you, see if you got the same impressions I did.”

“What were those impressions that you got?”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Oh, am I? I guess I was fishing for information, probing, as it were. You know that is a method that… what did you call me before, a fake? Well, that is a method used by fakes.”

I listened to the sound of his voice. He wasn’t angry or hurt, but simply amused. “Mr. MaDia, would it be possible for you to be serious for a moment? This matter is very important to me.”

My entire body tingled. He’d been toying with me. So it was true. He had seen the same images I had. Did he truly believe he was my reincarnated son? I held onto the phone looking at it.

Was it possible that I was this Dimitra and that this man I was going to see was a son I had lost?
I must be crazy
, I thought.

Suddenly I felt a tremendous lift to my spirit. The dark cloud that had enveloped my spirit for such a long time was lifting. I felt energized, as if I was finally going to get a chance to right a wrong.

“Come on in.”

Blaine was ushering me into his inner office. He was about to touch his hand to my back. I cringed and moved away. He smiled and stepped back, allowing me to enter the room untouched.

I felt stupid, childish. The thought of this man being able to touch me and make me see things was so amazingly terrifying, that I marveled at his gift, yet a part of me feared it.

He sat across from me lacing his hands together. His fingers were long and slender. I watched him, awed at the tenderness that flowed through me.

I felt strongly that this man facing me was a good man, not a con. He was someone I could easily care about. He felt more like my child to me in that instant, than the daughter that was waiting at home.

There was a moment of awkwardness that evaporated the moment he spoke.

“I know you’re nervous.”

He smiled at me and I watched the dimple in his cheek. He was a handsome man, if perhaps a little too pale. He had wavy almost white blond hair and eyes that I couldn’t tell if they were blue or gray.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Michelle,” I answered barely above a whisper. “Michelle Powers?”

“That’s a nice name, Michelle.” He appeared to roll my name around on his tongue. “Would you mind if I call you Michelle? Or would you prefer that I call you Mrs. Powers?”