The Aftermath: Parts I and II (5 page)

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When a few more survivors began showing up we were able to pool in their supplies, it stopped my group from hounding me for a while. As much as they hated staying out in the woods they felt bad for wanting to go every time a new family showed up. I kept assuring them we would only stay put for a little while longer. That we needed to wait for people to clear out of the area I was planning to go to and then we would go.

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Two months since I had left my little home passed and I finally felt the time was right. The radio had gone silent, people stopped showing up randomly. It was time for us to move. No one questioned this choice, they were all just so happy to get away from the area. I finally told them where we were going, I didn't want to spill it first and have a group take off and ruin everything before we could get there. But we were back in a situation I had control of so it seemed fine. I told them about very small camp to the north. It had four bunks extremely close to a lake and small kitchen on a generator. I told them that we couldn't properly secure the whole camp, but it was small enough that we could secure exactly what we needed.

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It only took us a few days to get to the camp and it only had a few of the sick in it. It wasn't hard clearing them out, but it would be very time consuming to secure what we needed. I told the group to quickly build a small fence that would be the inner most. It wouldn't help us for long but it would give us a small amount of security while we built the others. We sectioned off an area that included the main lodge with the kitchen, it stretched around a few of the lodges and stopped a little before the lake. I said we would build a little extension to the lake but that we couldn't use it as a wall itself. Of course the questions.

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After the small fence was built we pulled the cars in and everyone finally saw what the U-Haul was packed with. They were shocked but grateful, there was enough supplies to build two very strong outer fences. I had all the able bodied people begin work on that, and the less able begin to unpack the supplies. I made the first outer fence our top priority because the process would be so slow. We had to dig out the place for the posts, put concrete in and allow it to dry, we would then have to reinforce everything going up the entire 6 feet of the fence. I knew we needed to get our garden started quickly but that would require less strength, and no amount of food was going to save us from what was out there. A gate was put on all three sides not connected to the lake in case we needed to leave and they were secured with three padlocks.

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It took two weeks for the first outer fence to be completed, and it wore out the group to a dangerous point. I knew we needed the second fence, but we needed healthy people more. They worked in shifts to build the extension to the lake while everyone else got the garden started and brought in extra water to start purifying. It was very hard on everyone and made them all cranky and demanding, but I agreed when they demanded that they take time off.

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During the down time we didn't see much in the way of the illness. A few of the better shots would sit on the roofs looking out. I was fairly certain this place was far enough from the cities that the massive hordes would not move in too quickly. We couldn't be certain that they would never show, but we should have time, which is part of the reason I chose this place. I spent a lot of my time walking around the first outer fence checking the locks and making sure everything we had secured was staying. I was also looking to see what worked and what didn't for the second fence. The group spent the time bonding and talking about everything they had lost. They also spent a lot of time talking about me, I was not totally comfortable with this.

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There was a mixed reaction to my leadership. Most were upset that I was being strict with rations and making everyone work so hard. However, the strongest of the group seemed to think they were just complaining too much. If not for me most of them would have been in the city when it was over run. I had picked a good place to hide out, and I was being logical about the extreme need for protection from the outside. They thought that maybe I was being a little demanding and closed off, but that ultimately everything I was doing would save us. It also seemed a certain level of comfort was found from my compulsive behavior because I was constantly checking up on safety and trying to stay ahead of what was happening.

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It bothered me to have some of my people questioning me, not really because I cared for them, but because I needed everyone following my plan. Ultimately though it seemed like most people were slowly giving in to my plans. Work on the second outer fence began and everyone started falling into a simple routine. People worked on the gardens, on stocking up with water, and on making sure our clothing and persons kept clean. By the time the second fence was completed we had more workers than we did jobs so it was not hard to get things done. Everyone was able to keep the camp running smoothly and still have time to relax.

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I knew that things would get worse before they got better though, because we had yet to face a winter in this place. We were people that were used to heaters, and being comfortable. This would not be the case this winter though. There was plenty of food, blankets, and warm clothing. The bunks we were staying in were also well insulated, but it would still be a harsh winter. The main lodge had a fireplace in it, but it would be the only source of heat we had.

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Predictably winter was almost impossible for much of the group. We had little to do. So in addition to dealing with the cold people were getting restless. The only jobs were collecting firewood and sitting on the roof watching for the illness. I thought that maybe they would be slower in the winter, and was not surprised to discover this seemed to be the case. By December we had actually all moved into the main lodge in order to sleep close and be around the fire. I was not comfortable with having it going all the time, but it was needed to keep them complacent. I still did not understand why they were constantly questioning me. The fact that a fire going was not safe. Not only could it burn the lodge, and our whole camp, but the smoke posed a threat.

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They didn't think those with the sickness would actually be able to spot the smoke and follow it. I honestly could not say if this was a good argument or not. However it was not those with the illness that worried me. My group assumed that any survivors that came to us would gladly join in and follow our path. I found it ignorant that they were completely forgetting what human desperation could do to people. It also worried me that they thought we could take in an unlimited number of survivors without actually harming ourselves.

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I wanted them to simply listen to me and stop questioning my every decision, but they wouldn't. They stayed and usually sided with me for the most part, but not without a fight or demands of compromise. They seemed to forget that I had brought our supplies, I had found the place, I constantly checked on the security, hell I was the only one that knew what was coming before it happened.

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I found myself constantly wishing I didn't need these people to survive

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Winter was slow, and by the time we could all finally get outside and work on more than just grabbing fire wood we were all very grateful. The lake thawed and the ground got softer. The garden was planted again, people could wash clothing and bedding again. Work on repairing the fences also began, and we even found a few places we could further reinforce them to make them even stronger.

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The increased activity did a lot to calm people's tempers and restless nature. It did little to stop their constant questions though. Now they wanted to take one of the cars and see if they could find any signs of things turning around. The government securing areas, large pockets of protected survivors, or anything to give us hope at all. I really didn't want this to happen, but I was quickly losing my control over the group.

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Maybe if they found nothing they would finally shut up. I watched them fill up a car with some of our precious gas, guns and ammo, and drive off. I encouraged them to at least make an attempt to get supplies while they were out there. The more we had the better we would be, no matter how well off we were.

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The thing that bothered me the most while the group was gone was that people with the illness started showing up more consistently. It wasn't to such an extreme that we couldn't handle it but I didn't like the idea of my people be out there with one of my cars. We needed the people we had to have a good defense, and needed the things I had brought like those cars and the weapons they had taken. I didn't like my security being risked for a lost cause.

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And I was right. They came back with a few more supplies and survivors, but down many bullets and with no good news. The fact was though that without any sign of hope the people were no better. Now instead of questioning me they simply just didn't want to try so hard.

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This is why I never functioned properly out in the world, I simply did not understand people.

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I needed the help to survive, but if they refuse to do any work than they really aren't help.

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After all this time it seemed that all my planning and work was not actually going to matter.

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Every time I have to come out here and check all the locks I just wonder what would happen if I left one unlocked. I also wonder if I would actually want to do that.

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S
he slowly made her way to the store. Every few steps, she would pause and check around her, then she would move forward again. Her boots crunched over the rocks, glass, and debris all over the parking lot. It was in her sights, the problem was, would it matter

The reality was there was no use in questioning it, she needed supplies, there were no more options. No one had really thought about the possibility of going hungry, they were all short sighted in the beginning. Of course thinking long term hadn't been a top priority. When you watched what used to be friends, families, and neighbors turn into monsters you became pretty focused on that. How could you think about being hungry a few months down the road? A year? Longer?

She never thought about an endgame, no one really did. It shouldn't be too crowded in the store, but it likely didn't have much in the way of supplies either. Who knew how long before she found another place, there was no choice but to stop.

It took her longer than she would have liked to get to the store, but it was too dangerous of a landscape.  If there were monsters it would be easy enough, but if there were humans, well that was always a crap shoot. Some so thoroughly believed in strength in numbers, while others would gladly waste precious ammo on other humans.

They were afraid, afraid of running out of supplies, afraid of being over powered, afraid of their own shadows. Some had accused them of being monsters themselves, but she always thought that was too simplistic, too easy. That wasn't to say that she hadn't met some out there she would consider monsters, but not all the jumpy, eager to kill, were that.

Paranoia was not just common, it was an art form in this new world. No they weren't monsters, they were just aggressively afraid, and artists. She was one of them too, deep down. She hadn't gone as far as to kill someone that did not present a clear danger to herself, but she had left many that needed help. She was still alone because it was her own way of controlling everything. She had no problems admitting that she would fall, but it would never be because someone else messed up. The responsibility of her life was solely on her shoulders.

She made her way into the store, the automatic doors were long dead, but the glass was non existent. For a moment she wondered when the last time she saw a full glass door or window was. It was long enough ago that there was no way to be sure. She pulled out her combat knife and moved swiftly, there were two on her way, but she got them quickly. Straight through the softest parts of the head and they were down. It was easy now, some of them were so far gone that it would take nothing but a shove to do them in. Still being safe, being paranoid, it was the way to go.

When she found a sturdy enough shelving unit she crawled to the top.  It was not great, the shelves no longer had weight on them to counter her own movement. She had lost a lot of weight though, it would work if she was careful. At first she straddled the top, sorting through her bag and pulling things out. She grabbed her sniper rifle, fixed the scope, and prepared to set up. The next thing she pulled out was a large number of rocks. She set them a ways in front of her.