The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (57 page)

"We need to interrogate them further," said Agent Wyche, not bothering to disguise his amusement at his own implicit meaning. "Thank you, ma'am. We have our own vehicle."

Sammy managed to raise his head and saw that Ruth was looking at him curiously, with the same faint air of pity he thought he had spotted there earlier that afternoon.

"I just want to know this," she said. "How does it feel, Mr. Clay, to make your living preying off the weak-minded? That's the only thing I want to know."

Sammy sensed that he ought to know what she was talking about, and he was sure that under ordinary circumstances he would have. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I have no idea what—"

"A boy jumped off a building, I heard," she said. "Tied a tablecloth around his neck and—"

A telephone rang in a nearby room, and she stopped. She turned and went to answer it. Agent Wyche yanked Sammy's collar and dragged him to the door, and they went out into the burning cold night.

"Just a minute," came the housekeeper's voice from within. "There's a call for a Mr. Klayman. That
him?"

Afterward, Sammy would often wonder what might have become of him, what alley or ditch his broken and violated body might have ended up in, if his mother had not telephoned the house at Pawtaw with the news that Thomas Kavalier had died. Agent Wyche and his colleague looked at each other, their expressions no longer quite professionally blank.

"Aw, shoot, Frank," said Fellowes's agent. "How 'bout that. It's his
mom."

When Sammy came out of the kitchen, Dave Fellowes stood slumped against the doorway, an arm over his red, damp face. The two G-men were gone; they had mothers of their own.

"I need to get back to the city right away," Sammy said.

Fellowes wiped at his face with his sleeve, then reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to his Buick.

Although the traffic was light, it took them nearly three hours to get back to New York. They did not say a word to each other from the moment Fellowes started the car until he dropped Sammy off in front of his apartment.

16

AFTER he ran out of the Hotel Trevi, Joe became merely one of the 7,014 drowned men out stumbling through the streets of New York that night. He carried a pint of rye that he had bought in a bar on Fifty-eighth Street. His hair froze into icicles on his head and his blue tuxedo turned to cold granite, but he felt nothing. He kept walking, sipping from his bottle. The streets were alight with taxis, the theaters were emptying, the windows of restaurants were haloed with candlelight and the vapor of their patrons' breathing. He recalled with shame the elation that had seized him as he walked to the subway earlier that evening, the rattling ride underground with everyone staring at the magician in their car, the general love of poodles and car horns and the tooth marks of the Essex House on the face of the moon that had suffused him as he walked in his top hat from the subway to the Trevi. If he had not drowned an hour ago, he thought, the memory of this vanished happiness might have been enough to make him hate himself. Good thing I'm dead, he thought.

Somehow he ended up in Brooklyn. He rode the train all the way out to Coney Island and then fell asleep and woke up in a place called Gravesend, with a policeman's rough hand on his shoulder. Sometime around two o'clock in the morning, more drunk than he had been since the night he had appeared on the stairs in Bernard Kornblum's house on Maisel Street, he showed up at 115 Ocean Avenue, at the door of apartment 2-B.

Ethel answered the door almost immediately. She was fully dressed and made up, and her hair was tied neatly in a bun. If she was at all surprised to see her nephew at her door, frozen stiff, bleary-eyed, in full evening dress, she did not betray it. Without a word, she put her arm around him and helped him to her kitchen table. She poured him a cup of coffee from a blue pot enameled with white flecks. It was dreadful, thin as the water in which he cleaned his brushes and sour as turned wine, but it was fresh and painfully hot. Its effect on him was devastating. As soon as it hit his throat, all the facts and contingencies he had held under the water, until it seemed to him that they had finally stopped struggling, now bobbed back up to the surface, and he knew that he was alive, and that his brother, Thomas, lay dead at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

"We should turn on the radio" was all he could think of to say.

Ethel sat down across from him with her own cup of coffee. She took a handkerchief from the pocket of her black cardigan and handed it to him. "First cry," she said.

She gave him a gummy piece of honey cake and then, as she had on the night of his arrival, handed him a towel.

While he was showering, his grandmother shuffled into the bathroom, lifted the skirt of her nightgown, and, apparently unaware of Joe's presence, lowered her pale blue behind onto the pot.

"You don't listen to me, Yecheved," she said in Yiddish, calling him by his aunt's old-country name. "From the first day, I said I don't like this boat. Didn't I say it?"

Joe spoke English. "I'm sorry," he said.

His grandmother nodded and got off the toilet. Without a word, she turned out the light and shuffled back out. Joe finished his shower in darkness.

After he had warmed himself into an uncontrollable spasm of weeping, his aunt wrapped him in a bathrobe that had once been Sammy's father's, and led him to Sammy's old bed.

"All right," she said. "All right." She put a dry hand to his cheek and kept it there until he had stopped crying, and then until he stopped shaking, and then until he caught his stuttering breath. He lay still and snuffled. The hand on his cheek remained cool as brick.

He woke up a few hours later. It was still night outside the window, without a trace of morning. He ached in his joints and his chest, his lungs, burned as if he had been breathing smoke or poison. He felt hollow and flattened and quite unable to cry.

"She's coming," said his aunt. She was standing in the doorway to the room, outlined in wan blue light by the fixture over the kitchen sink. "I called her. She was out of her mind worrying."

Joe sat up, and rubbed his face, and nodded. He wanted nothing to do with Rosa, with Sammy, with his aunt or his parents or anyone who could tie him, through any bond of memory or affection or blood, to Thomas. But he was too tired to do anything about it, and he had, in any case, no idea of what he should do. His aunt found him some old clothes, and he dressed quickly in the polar light from the sink. The clothes were much too small, but they were dry and would do until he could change them. While they waited for Rosa, she made another pot of coffee, and they sat in silence, sipping at their cups. Three quarters of an hour later, with a trembling, all but invisible hint of blue light in the air, there was the sound of a car horn from the street below. He washed out his coffee cup, laid it in the drying rack, wiped his hands on the towel, and kissed his aunt goodbye.

Ethel hurried to the window, in time to see the girl step out of a taxi-cab. She threw her arms around him, and Joe held on to her for so long that Ethel found herself regretting, with an intensity that surprised her, that she had neglected to take her nephew into her arms. It seemed just then to be the worst mistake she had ever made in her life. She watched Joe and Rosa get into the taxi and drive away. Then she sat down in a chair, with its festive pattern of pineapples and bananas, and covered her face with her hands.

17

Joe and Rosa crawled into her bed at six-thirty in the morning, and she held on to him until he fell asleep, lying there, the unknown mysterious product of their love growing in the space between them. Then she slept herself. When she woke, it was past two o'clock in the afternoon, and Joe was gone. She looked in the bathroom, then went downstairs to the black kitchen, where her father was standing with the most peculiar expression on his face.

"Where's Joe?" she said.

"He left."

"Left? Where did he go?"

"Well, he said something about enlisting in the navy," said her father. "But I don't imagine he'll be able to do that until tomorrow."

"The navy? What are you talking about?"

That was how she learned of the attack on the naval base at Pearl Harbor. According to her father, it was very likely that the United States would soon find itself at war with Germany, too. That was what Joe was banking on.

The doorbell played its weird tune, Raymond Scott's shortest composition, "Fanfare for the Fuller Brush Man." She ran to the door, certain that it was going to be Joe. It was Sammy; he looked as if he had been in a fight. There were abrasions on his cheek and a cut by his eye. Had he been fighting with Bacon? She knew that Sammy was supposed to have left with his friend for Los Angeles today—she and Joe had planned originally to go down to the train station and see them off. Had the two men quarreled? A guy of Bacon's size might be dangerous, though it was difficult to imagine him doing anything to hurt Sammy.

She noticed the frayed seam of the right sleeve of Sammy's shirt, where it met the shoulder.

"Your shirt is torn," she said.

"Yeah," he said. "I tore it. That's what you do when you're, you know. In mourning." Rosa had a dim memory of this custom from some long-ago funeral of a great-uncle. The widowed great-aunt had also covered all the mirrors in the house with dish towels, giving the place a disturbing air of having been blinded.

"Want to come in?" she said. "Joe's not here."

"Not really," Sammy said. "Yeah, I know. I saw him."

"You saw him?"

"He came by the apartment to get his things. I guess he woke me up. I guess I had kind of a rough night last night."

"Here," she said, sensing an odd note in his voice. She grabbed an old sweater of her father's from the hat stand, put it around her, and stepped out into the courtyard. It was good to get out into the cold air. She felt some order being restored to her thoughts. "Are you all right?" she said. She noticed that he winced when she touched him, as if his arm or his shoulder were sore. "What's the matter with your arm?"

"Nothing, I hurt it."

"How?"

"Playing football on the beach, how else?"

They sat down on the stone steps, side by side.

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know. He's gone. He left."

"What are you doing here, anyway?" she asked him. "Aren't you supposed to be on a train for Hollywood? Where's Bacon?"

"I told him to go ahead without me," Sammy said.

"Oh?"

He shrugged. "I never really wanted ... I don't know. I think I got a little carried away with the whole thing."

That morning, at Penn Station, Sammy had said goodbye to Tracy Bacon, in the compartment that had been reserved for them both aboard the Broadway Limited.

I don't understand," Bacon said. They were awkward and clumsy with each other, in the closeness of the first-class compartment, a couple of men, one so intent on not touching the other, the second devoting each movement and gesture to not being touched, that their careful maintenance of a charged and shifting distance between them had itself been a kind of bleak contact. "You didn't even get arrested. Jimmy's lawyers are going to make the whole thing go away."

Sammy shook his head. They were sitting opposite each other on the twin upholstered banquettes, which they would have, somewhere around Fostoria that night, unfolded into a pair of beds.

"I just can't do it anymore, Bake," Sammy said. "It's just—I don't want to be like this."

"You don't have a choice."

"I think I do."

Bacon had gotten up, then, and crossed the three feet of space between them, and sat down on the banquette beside Sammy.

"I don't believe that," he said, reaching for Sammy's hand. "Something like you and me is not a question of choosing or not choosing. There's nothing you can do about it."

Sammy jerked his hand away. Regardless of what he felt for Bacon, it was not worth the danger, the shame, the risk of arrest and opprobrium. Sammy felt, that morning, with his ribs bruised and a wan flavor of chlorine at the back of his mouth, that he would rather not love at all than be punished for loving. He had no idea of how long his life would one day seem to have gone on; how daily present the absence of love would come to feel.

"Just watch me," he said.

In his haste to exit the compartment before Bacon could see him break down, he had collided with an elderly woman making her way down the corridor, and reopened the nasty cut over his eye.

"I'm glad you're still here," Rosa said now. "Sammy, listen to me. I need help."

"I'll help you. What is it?"

"I think I need to get an abortion."

Sammy lit a cigarette and smoked half of it before he replied. "Joe is the father," he said.

"Yes. Of course."

"And you told him and he said?"

"I didn't tell him. How could I tell him? Last night he tried to kill himself."

"He did?"

"I think he did."

"But Rosa, you know, he's joining the navy, he said."

"Right."