The Anarchist (4 page)

ANN
: And would you bring him your manuscript?

CATHY
: No.

ANN
: Why?

CATHY
: I believe it would upset him.

ANN
: Why?

CATHY
: My father's a Jew.

(Pause.)

ANN
: Would he think it Heresy?

CATHY
: Well, it might be, to his mind, just the one more crime.

ANN
: To have changed your “covenant.”

CATHY
: That's right.

ANN
: Is it a crime?

CATHY
: No. People change.

ANN
: And you want to talk to him about God.

CATHY
: I want to . . . I want, no.

ANN
: You said you want to talk to him about God.

CATHY
: I want him to experience Grace.

ANN
: Through Christ.

CATHY
: No, he won't embrace Christ.

ANN
: Then how would you enable him to Experience Grace? Believing as you do?
(Pause)
You're tired.

CATHY
: Yes.

ANN
(Reads from a file)
: You didn't have breakfast.

CATHY
: They offered it to me.

ANN
: Would you like me to get something . . .?

(She picks up the phone.)

CATHY
: I want to see my father. To allow him to Forgive me.

ANN
(Pause; puts the phone down)
: Is it your intention to publish the book?

CATHY
: If I were to be allowed. Or of course . . .

ANN
: Yes?

CATHY
: If I were released.

ANN
: In which case . . .?

CATHY
: I would need no permission.

(Pause.)

ANN
: The royalties . . .

CATHY
: The royalties, would, under the law, still accrue to the

Families. If I . . . if I
remained
. . .

ANN
: And if you were released?

CATHY
: After my father's death, I'm going to assign them the money.

ANN
: The
royalties
?

CATHY
: No. My inheritance.

ANN
: You're going to give them part of your inheritance?

CATHY
: No. All of it.

(Pause.)

ANN
: That's an extraordinary sum of money.

CATHY
: That's right.

ANN
: Does it concern you that the Board might consider that a sort of bribe.

CATHY
: Perhaps it is.

ANN
: And is it?

CATHY
: My motives are sufficiently opaque to me. I doubt the Board can see them clearly.

ANN
: I believe the Board might consider that a bribe.

CATHY
: Then don't
tell
them. I'm not telling the Board. I'm telling you.

ANN
: To influence my decision?

CATHY
: Can you
conceive
of any
thing
that one in my position might do with a different motive?
(Pause)
I'm an old woman. I would like to be released.

ANN
: I understand. Upon what grounds?

CATHY
: Would you mock me for suggesting “kindness.”

ANN
: “Kindness to the wicked is cruelty to the Just.” Where is that written?

CATHY
: I don't know.

ANN
: It's in the Bible. Isn't it?

CATHY
: I . . .

ANN
: It's in Proverbs.

CATHY
:
I
don't know . . .

ANN
(Looking at files)
: But you studied The Bible. You're on record. As having requested a copy. A, a Bible. Some time ago.
(Reads)
“A Concordance Bible” . . . to replace . . .

CATHY
: Yes. The other was lost.

ANN
: To “continue your studies.” It was . . .

CATHY
: . . . yes.

ANN
(Checks file)
: “Lost, misplaced, or stolen.” In your last move.

CATHY
: Who would steal a religious book?

ANN
: Someone might. With your notes. And your name in it.

CATHY
: Why?

ANN
: To sell it.
(Pause)
For quite a bit of money.

(Ann takes the Bible from her briefcase and hands it to Cathy.)

“A Concordance Bible.”

CATHY
: Yes. I remember it. At the beginning.

ANN
: You may keep it.

CATHY
: I remember it. Thank you.

ANN
: You're welcome.

CATHY
: How . . .?

ANN
: It was advertised. In a rare book catalog. And it was purchased.

CATHY
: . . . yes?

ANN
: For quite a lot of money. And it came to the notice of the Board.

CATHY
: What happened to the money?

ANN
: What do you think?

CATHY
: It went to the Officer's family?

ANN
: Eventually. That's correct.

(Pause.)

CATHY
: Who stole it?

ANN
: I am not permitted to “discuss a criminal enterprise” with you. Isn't it funny?

CATHY
: And who bought it?

ANN
: I . . .

CATHY
: At the auction. Was it an auction?

ANN
: Yes.

CATHY
: Whoever bought it. His money. Was it returned to him?

ANN
: No.

CATHY
: Why?

ANN
: As he was party to a crime.

CATHY
: But perhaps he didn't know the book was stolen.

ANN
: And perhaps he did.

CATHY
: But that seems harsh.

ANN
: In any case . . .

CATHY
: If he didn't know the book was stolen, might the State return the money to him?

ANN
: I don't know the law. Do you recall the Notations?
(Reads aloud)
“While the unafflicted may toy with an entertaining doubt, The Blind must believe the number of steps in the staircase Cannot Vary.”

CATHY
: Oh, my, and someone made a lot of money. Selling that.

ANN
: Who are the unafflicted?

CATHY
: I'm not sure.

ANN
: Who are The Blind?

CATHY
: I'm not sure that I wrote it.

ANN
: But who could have written it?

CATHY
: Someone who, who took it from me.

ANN
: The “thief,” someone who robs is called a “thief.”

CATHY
: Yes. They're called a thief. But it seems harsh. That someone who may have purchased it in good faith should suffer.

ANN
: I don't know the law.

CATHY
: The officer's family are here?

ANN
: That's right.

CATHY
: I always assume that they are. How are they?

ANN
: As you might expect.

CATHY
: I always picture them. As they were then. As much as I know that they aren't. Do you know? I saw the newspapers. After one of our meetings. Eight or nine years ago? Showing my photo. From the time at the Apartment. And I thought, “Oh, poor defrauded reading public. Beautiful, young totem. What can have become of her?”

ANN
: They let you read the Papers?

CATHY
: Well, sometimes the rules need interpretation.

ANN
: For?

CATHY
: The new Guards. And the new Girls. To whom would they look for guidance?

ANN
: And you guide them.

CATHY
: If I can.

ANN
: And do you Love them?

CATHY
: Do I have sex with them?

ANN
: Yes.

(Pause.)

CATHY
: Do you know, I've always felt your thoughts were fixed in adolescence.

ANN
: How so?

CATHY
: On the Sin and Wonder of your body.

ANN
: Is that adolescence?

CATHY
: Oh yes. But the body grows old. And an appropriate notice of it would lead us to finish with Sin and to think on death. And what is beyond death.

ANN
: What is beyond death?

CATHY
: Christ. And the potential of redemption. No, of course I loved them. As they loved me. Why should they not?
That's
a question for you. Ann. But it begins to come back. Doesn't it? When one is being set free?

ANN
: . . . it begins . . .?

CATHY
: When our possessions are few. And we review our thoughts.

ANN
: And what do we find?

CATHY
: Regret.

(Pause.)

ANN
: What do I regret?

CATHY
: Would you like to tell me?

ANN
: Do I know?

CATHY
: You said: “Was he your lover?” You said: “Did the women love you?” After all this time . . .
(Pause)
You could have had any woman here that you wanted.

ANN
: It doesn't escape you that would have meant breaking my oath.

CATHY
: None the less

ANN
: Do I lack Sex?

CATHY
: You lack
something
. Which is equal. In your mind. To the lack of sex. And, so, is signalized by it. And if you
name
it . . .

ANN
: When did you take to psychiatry? . . .

CATHY
: In Algeria, I was troubled. Guillaume asked me. And I said, “No, I don't
know
what's troubling me.” He said, “If you
did
, what would it be?”

ANN
: And so? . . .

CATHY
: And so, Ann? So I told him.

ANN
: Be? . . .

CATHY
: Because I didn't want to be a coward.

ANN
: . . . to be a coward.

CATHY
: No. I knew I was a coward. But I wanted to be Brave.

ANN
: And what was it that troubled you?

CATHY
: What do you think?

ANN
: If it were “conscience” why would overcoming it have been an act of courage?

(Pause.)

CATHY
: Can people change?

ANN
: I don't know.

CATHY
: If they had changed, could you recognize it?
(Pause)
If there were any thing that I could do for you. I'd do it.
(Pause)
If it were
this close
. And you only had to ask for it. Because, that's what he had correct, do you see?
(Pause)
That it's always
close
. . . How do we know it is Redemption? Because it begins with Shame. That's true, Ann. That's what it means to pray. It means to confess. It's the worst pain. Our Savior Himself, Ann, needed help to bear the Cross.