The Angel and the Highlander (13 page)

T
erese sat at the head of the table in the common room deep in thought while the other women took their seats. Her heart ached and she felt close to tears but she kept both contained as she had when she heard Lachlan whisper in her ear,
I love you.

She had feigned sleep, though she had wanted to leap up and throw her arms around him and tell him the same. But she couldn’t, she had always known it wasn’t possible no matter how many times she dared daydream or hope for a miracle. She knew in her heart that in the end she would have to bid him farewell.

Later after they had eaten, she had taken control of their lovemaking. And she made love with him as if it were their last time, which she feared it was.

She savored every kiss, every intimate caress, lingering until she had driven them beyond reason and in their loving insanity they had joined like two lovers who could not get enough of each other or like two lovers’ last night together forever.

She wanted to cry at the aching thought, but she re
minded herself that she could no longer allow this to continue. It would grow only more difficult not only for him, but for her to say good-bye.

Tears choked at her throat with the thought of never seeing him again, never talking with him, waking beside him, loving him. What a fool she had been to start this. She had thought she could easily keep it all in perspective and what did she do?

She went and fell in love with him…madly and deeply in love with him.

After they had made love, she had feigned sleep once again fearful of him not only repeating his declaration of love, but of her losing all sanity and blurting out her love for him. She had then waited until she was certain he was in the thick of sleep, and had snuck out of the cottage.

Once at the common shelter she gathered the women for a meeting.

“What’s wrong?” Rowena asked softly, knotting the tie of her night robe.

Terese glanced around at each of the women, and from the looks of concern she suspected that they all were aware of her plight.

Hester reached her hand out to her. “It’s time for the warriors to leave, isn’t it?’

Terese was glad she phrased it as she did, for the thought of hearing aloud that it was time for Lachlan to leave pained her heart.

“I don’t want Evan to leave,” Piper said tearfully.

Terese had been so concerned with her own heartache she had forgotten about the other women
who would possibly be affected by the warriors’ departure.

“He’s only just kissed me,” Piper admitted. “And I liked it. And he doesn’t make fun of my connection to the woods; he shares it with me.”

“Andrew hasn’t kissed me yet, though I know he wants to,” Megan said. “He’s patient with me and so gentle.” She chuckled. “And he makes me laugh and…” She choked back tears. “Lord, I never thought I’d care for another man ever again, but I find I do care for Andrew and would love to know him better.”

“And you, Terese?” Rowena asked. “How do you feel about Lachlan?”

A tear finally spilled from one eye and she let it trail down her cheek. “I never thought I’d have the opportunity to meet a man to love, but I could easily love Lachlan. He’s charming, brave…” She laughed. “And a mighty fine lover.”

The women grinned.

Terese turned silent and the women waited, the laughter and grins fading.

She swiped the tear off her face and her words were abrupt and stern. “Lachlan loves Terese, not Alyce.” She looked first to Piper then to Megan. “I know that neither of you would leave Everagis, but you both are welcome to invite Evan and Andrew to remain here if you wish. It would give them time to see if they would want to make a permanent home here with each of you.”

“You should have the same for yourself,” Megan protested.

“How I wish that could be so, but we all know it cannot,” Terese said. “Lachlan cannot remain here. He has a duty to his clan and his family. And I cannot go with him, for then my father will—”

Hester interrupted. “Lachlan loves you; it’s obvious. He can request your hand in marriage from your father, and surely your father would agree.”

Terese shook her head. “Lachlan isn’t interested in Alyce. He has referred to her as a shrew, and do you really think he would want to wed me once he learned that I have been lying to him all this time?”

“But he has spent time with you,” Piper said. “Surely by now, he knows you are no shrew.”

“I cannot take the chance,” Terese said. “If I admit my true identity and Lachlan doesn’t want me then my father will send men for me, and I will be forced to wed a man of my father’s choosing.”

“What will you do?” Hester asked.

Another tear slipped from Terese’s eye. “Tomorrow I tell Lachlan it is time for him and his men to leave.”

“He will protest,” Hester warned.

Terese fought the ache in her heart. “I will do whatever it takes to get him to leave.”

Tears glistened in all of the women’s eyes.

“We will be here for you and help anyway we can,” Rowena said and the other three women nodded.

“I know,” Terese said forcing a smile that never surfaced. “And I will need your help when this is done, for my heart will break in so many pieces that I wonder if I will survive the pain.”

Lachlan was upset to find Terese gone when he woke. She had done that a few times now and it disturbed him. He felt as if she was running from him, and he didn’t like the thought.

He was also annoyed that he had never gotten another chance to tell her that he loved her and wished to marry her last night. He wanted this settled, for he was eager to take her home and introduce her to his family. He knew they would be surprised but pleased and that his two brothers would tease him unmercifully, but he looked forward to it, for they would truly share in his joy.

His one disappointment was not being able to discover anything about Ronan, but with the mercenaries remaining in the area, he felt certain Cavan would send a group to further scout the area and make contact with the group.

The thought of doing it himself had crossed his mind, but he considered the circumstances and the amount of men he had, and he had decided that the task called for more warriors than he had available.

He would take all the information to his brother Cavan, and he would decide on how to proceed.

Now he simply wanted to find Terese and start the process that would have them returning home, marrying, and spending the rest of their lives together.

Evan nearly crashed into him when he stepped out of the cottage.

“Can I stay, sir, can I stay?” Evan repeated nervously while bobbing up and down around him.

“What?” Lachlan asked, but before Evan could say anything Andrew popped in his face.

“I’m going to remain behind for a while to make sure the women are safe,” he said.

Lachlan shook his head confused. “What are—”

“Damn, I’m a happy man,” Boyd said, slapping Lachlan on the back.

Lachlan backed away from the three of them. “What the hell are you all talking about?”

They all turned silent.

“What’s going on?” Lachlan demanded.

Each man looked from one to the other as if they were trying to decide who would speak up.

“Someone better tell me and fast,” Lachlan warned.

Andrew was the brave one. “You better talk with Terese.”

Lachlan felt a jolt to his gut.

“Andrew’s right,” Boyd agreed. “It’s best you speak with Terese.”

Evan nodded. “She’s at the common shelter.”

Lachlan stormed off, his gut warning him that something was amiss, terribly amiss. And when he walked through the open door of the common house, Hester and Rowena made a hasty exit, leaving him alone with Terese.

“Tell me,” he said sharply.

“It’s nothing really and the others should not have said anything before I spoke with you,” she said casually. “It’s just that I feel it is time for you and your men to leave.”

“Why?”

“You have done all you can for us, and there truly is no reason for you to remain here, and I know many of your men wish to return home.”

She seemed so cold, so unattached to her words, as if she cared not at all and was simply dismissing him.

“What of
us
?” he asked bluntly.

She shrugged. “What of us? We have enjoyed each other as we intended. Now it’s over.”

Lachlan took a quick step toward her. She didn’t flinch or jump, she remained stoic where she stood.

“You’re going to tell me that I mean nothing to you? That what we shared meant nothing?”

“Of course it did,” she said and gave his arm a pat. “We spent a lovely time together, and I will remember you always. You know how it goes. You’ve bid good-bye to women before.”

Lachlan felt as if she had slapped him hard in the face and he grew angry. “You’re telling me that you have no feelings at all for me? This has been nothing more than a tryst you easily cast aside?”

“I care for you.”

“You love me,” he insisted, “as I love you. I don’t know what this game is you play with me, but I’ll have none of it.”

“We both knew this time would come.”

There she was. He finally heard her, the woman he loved and who loved him. Her tone was soft and concerned, and he was sure her voice had trembled.

He reached out to her, but she backed away from
him. “Don’t do this to us. Don’t be afraid to let me love you or for you to love me.”

She chuckled. “It’s nothing like that—”

“It damn well is,” he shouted and she jumped.

“Raising your voice and getting angry will not settle this matter,” she warned coldly.

“There is nothing to settle,” he said, his anger not as defined. “We are in love and we will get married.”

“No, we won’t,” she said adamantly. “You and your men will leave here at dawn tomorrow. We will provide you with all the provisions you require, and we will thank you for your generous help and that will be the end of it.”

“You truly can’t mean this.”

“I can and I do,” she said emphatically.

He remained silent for a moment and then said, “If that is what you wish.”

“I do,” she said with a jut of her chin.

“Then I will do as you wish and since what we have shared means nothing to you, then you won’t mind sharing one last night with me.”

She paled. “I don’t think that would be wise.”

“Why? I mean nothing to you. Unless of course you are lying to me and send me away for a different reason,” he said sarcastically. “Then I would need to find out what you lie about.”

“This will serve no purpose.”

Lachlan slammed his hands flat on the table. “It will serve a damn good purpose. Make love with me tonight and then afterward tell me…look me in the eyes and tell me you want me to leave, and I will leave.”

“If that’s what it will take,” she said with a shrug. “Now I have work to do and you have men to get ready for morning departure.”

Lachlan went to step outside then turned around. “I don’t know what this is all about. I don’t know why you deny the truth. If you fear something then I wish you would tell me and I will fight your fear for you. I love you, Terese. I love you like I never thought I would ever or could ever love a woman. You are part of my heart, and I know I am part of yours. Don’t do this to us. Don’t throw our love away. Please don’t throw it away.”

Terese waited until he left then barely made it to the door to close it, her legs trembled so badly. She braced herself against it and began to weep. She wished she could scream out her pain, pound at the door, run after him and beg him; beg him to love her—Alyce Bunnock the shrew he had been sent to bring home.

She couldn’t take the chance that he would reject her, and so she sat there crying silently and that was how Hester found her after shoving against the door to open it.

Hester immediately sat on the ground beside her and wrapped her arms around her. “Perhaps you should tell him the truth.”

“And what if he rejects me, what then do I do?”

“It might be a chance worth taking.”

“I don’t know,” Terese cried. “I feel as if I’m being torn in two, but I wonder how bad the pain would be if I told him, and he walked away from me? And then it would only get worse for my father would tear me
away from Everagis and everyone here. Whichever way I look at it I suffer.”

“Then tomorrow it will be done; he’ll be gone,” Hester consoled.

Terese closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them fresh tears began to fall. “He insists we spend one last night together.”

“You cannot,” Hester said, upset for her.

“He insists that if I truly don’t love him, it won’t bother me and that if I can look him in the eyes after we make love and tell him to leave, he will.”

“Oh lord, no, Terese,” Hester said, tears filling her eyes. “How will you ever be able to do that?”

Terese shook her head, her tears continuing to fall. “I don’t know. I love him so very much. I don’t know where I will find the strength to do it.”

The two women sat hugging each other while tears flowed freely, one heart hurting for the friend whose heart broke in two.

L
achlan snapped and barked orders at his men and not a one made a comment. He was more than angry; he was furious. He couldn’t believe that Terese thought so little of the time they had spent together. And there was no way anyone would ever convince him that she didn’t love him.

He shook his head, not able to make sense of this turn of event, but confident he would change her mind this evening. He had to; he couldn’t imagine returning home to Caithness without her. It wasn’t about making love with her. It was more about making her admit how she truly felt about him, about them.

“You don’t mind that Evan and I remain here?” Andrew asked, approaching Lachlan.

“How many times have you asked me that?” Lachlan snapped. “And how many times must I continue to say no, I don’t mind.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to be,” Lachlan assured him curtly. “You need time with Megan as Evan does with Piper.
If it doesn’t work out you’re welcome to return home. If it does, then I’m happy for you.”

“That’s not what I’m sorry for,” Andrew said.

Lachlan understood. “Terese will see reason before it’s time to leave.”

“Megan tells me that Terese will never leave Everagis. Never. It is her home.”

Lachlan turned a vicious scowl on him. “I am her home as she is mine. She will realize that and come to her senses.” Lachlan turned and stomped off.

“Leave him be,” Boyd advised with a hand to Andrew’s shoulder. “He has never had a woman deny him anything. It will take time for him to accept this.”

Andrew shook his head. “It makes no sense. You can see how much Terese loves him and he her. Why would she deny the obvious?”

Boyd grinned. “Learn now that women are not sensible creatures, and they work hard to drive men crazy. Keep that in mind when dealing with women and you may, just may keep your sanity.”

Just before sunset Terese went to the stream, washed and donned fresh clothes, a dark blue wool skirt and a white linen blouse. She towel dried her hair, though it remained relatively damp, and slipped on a pair of sandals.

Her mind and stomach had been in chaos since this morning. She hadn’t eaten a thing all day and nor did she want to. How she would get through tonight, she didn’t know. Part of her ached to spend this last night with him and the other part wanted to scream out the
unfairness of it all. But then she should be used to that; it seemed to be the way of things for her.

Piper popped out of the woods looking distressed, and for a moment Terese was caught between hoping something would save her from this night and praying nothing would stop her from making love with Lachlan one last time.

“Is something wrong?” Terese asked, waiting for fate to decide.

“No, I just feel this is so unfair to you,” Piper said.

Relief flooded her though was quickly replaced by apprehension. “Do not worry about me,” Terese said, gathering her things.

Piper was quick to help, folding things into the basket. “We all worry about you as you do us.”

Terese handed her the basket. “Please take this to my quarters. It’s time for me to say my good-byes to Lachlan.”

Tears pooled in Piper’s eyes. “I would die if I had to say good-bye to Evan.”

“Trust me, Piper, you would survive.”

Tears slipped down Piper’s fair cheeks. “But would it be worth it?”

Those words haunted Terese as she made her way to Lachlan’s cottage, and she took a breath before she knocked, wondering if this was a wise thing to do. Before she could change her mind Lachlan opened the door, took her hand, and tugged her inside.

“I had Rowena prepare us some food. Are you hungry?” he asked.

She shook her head, much too upset to speak let
alone eat, though she did smile. She couldn’t help it. His charming smile was contagious and his handsome features were so pleasing to the eye, and he spoke with such concern and tenderness.

Lord, but she was going to miss this man.

Lachlan slipped his arms around her waist. “Talk with me, Terese. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She didn’t trust keeping her eyes on him for she feared she would surrender to tears and be lost. So she rested her head to his chest, which made matters worse, since she heard the confident beat of his heart.

He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Whatever it is we can work this out.”

She closed her eyes and tried to determine if he meant it, if they truly could work this out.

“I recall Alyce Bunnock saying something similar to me about her situation when I met her. She had hoped someone would see reason and help her. Do you think you would have helped her?”

“She was a woman who sealed her own fate,” Lachlan answered, “and I had a duty to her father. I would have tried to help her as best I could, but in the end I would have had no choice but to return her to her father.”

“What if she had loved someone else, say, you for instance, and wanted a life with you?”

“It seems an unfair comparison. Alyce was not a woman I could love. She was nothing like you.”

“You don’t know that,” she snapped.

He forced her to look at him. “I do know that. Alyce had a duty to her father and clan, and she should have
realized that and done what was necessary. I would have never gotten involved with Alyce.”

She had her answer more clearly than she would have cared to hear it.

“Alyce means nothing to me; you mean everything to me.”

I am Alyce
, she wanted to scream at him, but instead she kissed him. She needed this night done. She needed
Terese
to love him one last time.

“Make love to me,” she said softly.

“We need to talk first,” he said between kisses.

“Later,” she whispered.

He wrapped his fingers in her hair and tugged her head back so that his lips could claim hers in a kiss that warned her he would never ever let go. And she let him believe it, for tonight, just tonight, she needed to believe it as well.

He carried her to the bed and stood her in front of it to slowly remove her garments, teasing with a kiss or touch all the intimate spots he was so very familiar with and she reveled in each and every one.

His clothes followed and with a firm arm around her waist, he took her down on the bed with him, stretching out over her, their bodies flat against each other while he kissed her senseless. And he continued rendering her senseless as he made love to her.

It was remarkable to her that their lovemaking continued to be more and more enjoyable as if it were anew for them each time they came together. His kisses and touches never ceased to enflame her and make her hunger for him.

His lips and sensuous nibbles continued to find places on her body that sent endless shivers pulsating through her until she thought she would simply go mad with pleasure.

And he knew, oh how he knew where to touch at just the right moment and bring her to climax, only to coax another climax from her as soon as she thought she was spent, and then he would enter her and make her want him all over again.

Their night continued much the same, endless kisses, caresses, and climaxes. Neither tired, neither wanting to stop. They loved tirelessly, Lachlan reminding her over and over again how much he loved her.

Much later they lay wrapped in each others arms, Lachlan caressing her back.

“I can’t wait for my family to meet you. They will want to plan a big wedding feast and—”

Terese sat up, not minding that her breasts were bare and her rosy nipples still rigid from their lovemaking. “I’m not going home with you.”

He laughed. “I am your home as you are mine.”

She wanted to cry at the truth of his words. Instead she laughed. “Everagis is my home and always will be.”

Lachlan jolted up. “Stop this nonsense.”

She jumped out of bed and reached for her clothes. “It is not nonsense. Accept it and go home.”

He yanked the clothes from her hands. “You are my home.”

She grabbed the clothes from him and scooped the
others off the floor. She needed to get dressed, cover her nakedness, for suddenly she felt much too vulnerable being naked in front of him.

She slipped them on fast and then faced him with a toss of her head. “No, I am not your home. Everagis is my home.”

Lachlan raked a frustrated hand through his long dark hair. “That’s not true and you know it. I love you and you love me.”

She shook her head and laughed. “That is what you believe.”

“It is the truth; you can’t deny it.”

“Go home, Lachlan. Go home and live your life.”

He grabbed hold of her arm as she turned to walk away and yanked her against him. “Tell me, damn it. Tell me you don’t love me. I want to hear you say it.”

She felt her heart break, the pain stabbing at her chest, trying to rob her breath, and she answered before she didn’t have a breath left in her. “I don’t love you. I never have.”

Lachlan released her so suddenly that she stumbled.

She decided to continue her attack, for she feared if she didn’t he would try to work his charm on her, and she was much too susceptible to it.

“You were enjoyable while it lasted, but now it’s time for you to leave. I don’t wish to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Lord, forgive me for such a blatant lie
.

He stood naked with a look of shock and vulnerability that broke her heart even further.

“We had a good time. Take the memories and enjoy them.”

“I don’t believe you,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Don’t make this hard, Lachlan. Don’t make me say it again.”

“Say it,” he demanded. “Say it again.”

“I don’t love you,” she shouted, the pain so intense she thought she would die. “Go home. I don’t love you.”

She turned then and ran out of the cottage before he could stop her, and she didn’t stop. She ran into the woods and kept running and running wanting to outrun the pain, mindless of the branches scratching her arms or her destination, until finally out of breath, she stopped.

Terese dropped to the ground and wept, alone with her heartache.

“Terese.”

She turned to see Piper standing behind her almost as breathless as she was.

“I saw you and followed,” Piper said between breathes.

“I don’t know where I am,” Terese cried.

Piper leaned down and wrapped her arm around her. “That’s all right. I do. Come on I’ll take you home.”

Home
. Did she truly know where it was anymore?

“Rowena could use your help,” Piper said.

“What’s wrong?” Terese asked, standing without help from Piper.

“A young woman large with child arrived at Everagis a couple of hours ago in labor. She’s having a rough time of it and Rowena fears losing her.”

Terese wiped at her tears. “Then we best help her.”

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Piper asked.

Terese shook her head and wiped away fresh tears. “No, I’m not. Let’s go. Duty always calls.”

Hester entered the room where the woman labored to birth her babe and addressed Terese. “Lachlan and his men are ready to leave. He asks for you. Would you rather I make an excuse?”

Terese stood. “I will not be a coward now that it is at the end.”

She bravely walked out of the common shelter with Hester by her side, Megan remaining with the woman. Rowena joined the two, though she and Hester stayed their steps when they drew close to Lachlan to let Terese have a moment with him.

“We thank you and your men for all you have done for us. We will be forever grateful,” she said to him and it hurt to see that he didn’t wear his usual charming smile because of her.

“Andrew and Evan will remain for now. No doubt you will see Sinclare warriors again. I will not be one of them,” Lachlan said, “though I will recommend that the church turn this land over to you and the others so that you may remain here at your
home
.”

That he should do that for her when she had been so cruel to him broke her heart all the more. “That is generous of you.”

“Not really,” he said curtly. “It’s simply the cost of your pleasure.”

Terese felt the slap as if he had delivered it straight to her face. She didn’t respond since part of her felt deserving of it, for she had hurt him badly. She watched him ride away and forever disappear out of her life.

“I love you, Lachlan,” she murmured. “You take my heart with you, for I shall never give it to another.”