The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf (23 page)

“Stay here,” said her grandmother. “And don't touch anything.”

Malveria did as she was told and stood quietly at the back of the group, while her older brothers and sisters were introduced to the fairy duke. He welcomed them all to his daughter's wedding with extravagant politeness.

“Hello,” came a voice behind her.

Malveria turned around. There stood the young fairy in the golden dress. She was now around the same height as Malveria. Whether that was her true height, or she'd just made herself the same height as Malveria so they could talk, Malveria didn't know. The fairy had golden hair and large blue eyes, and her wings were decorated with colors that Malveria would have struggled even to put a name to. More colors than the fire rainbows in the lands of the Hiyasta, it seemed. Her golden dress shone like metal, but it appeared to be made of some substance so light that it floated around the girl's body, lying perfectly on her shoulders no matter which way she turned.

“I'm Dithean NicRinnalch,” said the young fairy. “Who are you?”

“Princess Malveria.”

The fairy giggled. “That's a funny name.”

“No it isn't,” said Malveria, and might have said something sharp in return were she not so entranced by the fairy's clothes.

“I like your dress,” she said.

“Thank you,” said Dithean. “I have hundreds of them. Yours is funny.”

“What do you mean ‘funny'?” asked Malveria.

“It's so dark and heavy. You look like you might melt.”

Malveria bristled. She had the uncomfortable feeling that her dress was indeed very inferior to the fairy's. It was a new feeling for the eight-year-old Fire Elemental, and she didn't like it.

“It's the proper dress for a wedding,” said Malveria defensively.

“It's ugly,” said Dithean NicRinnalch.

Malveria was aware of the need to be on her best behavior but even so, she felt she couldn't let herself be insulted like this. After all, she was here as a representative of the Hiyasta royal family.

“You're rude,” she ventured.

The fairy seemed to find this very funny and laughed loudly. “Poor Fire Elemental in a big black heavy dress. And those big clumpy shoes! How are you going to dance in those?”

Malveria hadn't been aware that she might be required to dance. She tried to conceal her surprise. “I'll manage perfectly well,” she said stiffly.

This seemed to amuse the fairy even more. Her wings shook as she laughed. Malveria decided that she didn't like Dithean NicRinnalch at all. Her grandmother had been right to warn her about fairy children. They were obviously rude and uncivilized. She resolved to leave with dignity.

“Would you like me to lend you a nice pretty dress?” said Dithean. “Golden like mine?”

The eight-year-old Malveria forgot all about leaving as she felt a strange elation wash over her. “Oh yes!” she said eagerly. “I'd like that more than anything!”

“Follow me,” said Dithean, and ran toward the trees. Malveria ran after her eagerly, catching up the hem of her heavy dress. By the time she reached the trees the fairy had produced another dress—just conjured it out of the air as far as Malveria could see—and was holding it out to her. Malveria tore off her own dress and slipped smoothly into the new one. It fitted her perfectly. Feeling the lightness of the fabric, and the way it hung perfectly, Malveria felt giddy with liberation.

“You can see your reflection in the stream,” said the young fairy.

Malveria hurried to do just that, and stood over the stream looking at herself, transfixed and elated by the beauty of her new golden dress. She had never felt as happy as she did at that moment.

“Would you like some fairy shoes?” asked Dithean.

“You have shoes as well?” said Malveria, and felt slightly weak from anticipation.

The Fire Queen sat on her own in her private chambers in her beautiful palace. Though she was deeply upset, she still managed a faint smile at the memory of her first pretty dress.

How I loved that golden frock, she thought. The memory was still crystal clear, even after eight hundred years. “And Dithean NicRinnalch was a rude young fairy!” They'd been friends ever since.

Malveria's transgressions at the wedding cost her dearly. The fairy duke had laughed with pleasure to see his daughter and her new friend in their matching dresses, but Malgravane had been rendered speechless by the sight of Princess Malveria in a golden frock and silver slippers. As it was not possible for Malgravane to discipline Malveria while the duke was there, the repercussions took a little while to arrive. But they did arrive soon enough. When the Hiyasta returned home, young Malveria's serious transgressions were fully reported to her mother. Malveria was duly summoned to her mother's chamber where she was spoken to extremely sharply. The Queen lectured her on the inappropriateness of discarding one's respectable clothing in exchange for a few bits of wispy cloth from a flighty young fairy.

Princess Malveria apologized, but Queen Malgrasin knew the apology wasn't sincere. Malveria didn't really regret wearing the dress, or the shoes. Her aura positively glowed at the memory. Malveria was banished to kitchen duty, which was a great disgrace for a Hiyasta princess. Her many older brothers and sisters regarded her with contempt and her grandmother never really forgave her. Letting down the dignity of the Hiyasta royal family was a serious matter.

Working in the kitchens, Malveria wilted. At the age of eight, she found it difficult to stand up to her entire family. There seemed to be disapproving brothers and sisters everywhere. Her grandmother told her that she would continue to be punished until she was truly sorry for her misdeeds. Weeks later, as Malveria was wearily bringing food from the kitchens and helping serve it to her family—another disgrace—she finally reached the end of her tether. Under the contemptuous gaze of her brothers, Malveria's temper snapped. She angrily smashed a plate on the floor.

“You can glare at me all you like!” she stormed. “I'm not sorry I wore the fairy dress and I'm never going to be sorry! It was a beautiful dress and I liked it much better than this horrible one I'm wearing now! And
I'm never going to apologize.”

“How dare you speak like that to us!” cried Malgravane.

Malveria glared at her grandmother. “When I grow up I'm going to be friends with Dithean the fairy and I'm going to wear nice dresses all the time!”

Servants looked on in embarrassment as Malveria was summarily ejected from the dining hall, and after this her punishment carried on for a very long time. Her own servants were withdrawn, leaving her to take care of herself. Malveria became the only princess who had ever been obliged to cook her own meals. Her position in the family became that of a rebellious upstart who was treated with hostility and suspicion.

Malveria was friendless in the palace, apart from Xakthan, a young trooper in the Palace Guard, who still gave her a friendly greeting every day and sometimes let her play with his sword and shield. Life was hard, and Malveria never really made things up with her family. She never apologized, though she did eventually learn to disguise her aura better.

The Fire Queen shuddered, suddenly recalling with too much clarity the beating her grandmother had given her on returning to the palace after the wedding. She sipped from a goblet of wine and stared gloomily at the floor.

“I can't believe Thrix has deserted me,” she sighed. “And I want my new dress.”

CHAPTER 41

Kalix had been depressed and anxious for the past two days, and her unhappiness increased when she remembered her werewolf improvement plan. It had all gone wrong so quickly. The entries seemed to be mocking her.
Stop taking laudanum
was particularly painful to read, in light of her recent disastrous overdose. Kalix drew a heavy black cross beside this item, denoting her failure. Deciding that wasn't enough, she drew another cross, and then a third.

Get on better with people
. Kalix sighed heavily. She'd tried to attack Daniel and Moonglow in the warehouse. The whole MacRinnalch Clan despised her more than ever. Kalix drew four black crosses next to the entry, another three beside
Stop being anxious
, and another three at
Stop being depressed
.

Stop cutting myself
. Kalix glanced at the blood trickling from her left arm.

“You'd have to say that was another failure,” she muttered.

Eat better
. Kalix, having decided never to eat again, drew four black crosses beside this.

“This is the worst self-improvement plan ever. I've failed at everything.”

She was gripped by a desire never to see or talk to anyone again. She hid under her duvet. It didn't feel like she was well enough concealed. She considered crawling under the bed, but remembered that as a child, she'd hidden under her bed at the castle and her mother had found her easily. The only other possible alternative was the cupboard. Kalix was briefly tempted. Hiding in the cupboard seemed like an attractive idea.

But someone would find out, she thought. And then they'd make a big fuss about it. Why is everyone always bothering me and interfering in my business?

Kalix noticed a loose leaf at the end of her journal. She opened it. It was a poorly executed sketch of her father.

“I forgot that was there.”

Finding the drawing didn't improve Kalix's mood. She didn't like to be reminded of her father. She'd made the drawing a long time ago, at the suggestion of one of her therapists, who'd suggested that drawing her fears might make them easier to deal with. Kalix stared at the drawing.

“What a stupid suggestion. It didn't help at all. And I'm a hopeless artist.”

She crumpled up the drawing and dropped it in the bin. Now she felt worse. She wished she hadn't been reminded of her father.

“He's dead. Good. I wish it didn't still bother me.”

Kalix felt her anxiety begin to grow. She heard Vex coming up the stairs, recognizing the heavy tread of her boots on the threadbare carpet. Vex yelled out for Daniel.

“Daniel? Are you there? It's an emergency.”

Kalix heard Daniel's door open.

“What's the emergency?”

“I've been badly let down by
Nagasaki Night Fight Boom Boom Girl
.”

“What?”

“I hated it. It just wasn't a good anime,” said Vex. “Nothing like as good as
Tokyo Top Pop Boom Boom Girl
.”

“What's wrong with it?” shouted Daniel from the top of the stairs.

“A stupid plot and really annoying characters!” cried Vex. “Nagasaki
Night Fight Boom Boom Girl isn't too bad, but she has this young sidekick who is just terrible!”

“Ah,” said Daniel. “Bad sidekick. That's a common problem. It happens all the time.”

“Does it?”

“Producers have a good show and they get greedy and put out a spin-off, and usually it's not nearly as good as the original.”

Kalix wished that Daniel and Vex would go somewhere else to shout about cartoons. At least they weren't attempting to involve her.

“I'm going to tell Kalix about it,” announced Vex. Vex knocked on the door. Knowing that not answering the door rarely discouraged Vex, Kalix nimbly slipped into her cupboard and shut the door.

CHAPTER 42

The ancient lift descended very slowly as Mr. Carmichael accompanied Mr. Eggers to the training area in the basement of the Guild's headquarters.

“I do wish Mr. Emerson would stop sending me memos criticizing our management structure.”

Mr. Eggers managed a faint smile. “I suppose that's why we employ new blood. Keep us on our toes.”

“I know,” agreed Mr. Carmichael. “But really, is his obsession with modernizing everything really helping? ‘Chairman' is old-fashioned, according to Mr. Emerson. I should be ‘MD.' Or even ‘CEO.'” Mr. Carmichael shuddered. He had a great aversion to the term “CEO.” “I don't think changing our job titles is going to make us better werewolf hunters.”

“I don't suppose it will,” said Mr. Eggers. “But he might be right about our board of directors. Some of them do belong in the last century. Or the one before.”

There was a divide in the board of directors, which could be roughly described as traditionalists against modernizers. Mr. Carmichael was firmly on the side of the traditionalists. Had he had his way, most of the Guild's new executives would never have been appointed. His hand had been forced by events. Mr. Carmichael had come under pressure because of the setbacks they'd suffered. They'd lost a great many hunters, including
their best operative, Captain Easterly, who'd been killed in Scotland. Also dead was Albermarle, who'd been their best computer specialist. He was sorely missed, although, as Mr. Carmichael grudgingly acknowledged, the new information technology team recruited by Mr. Emerson did seem very competent. Security had improved.

The lift doors opened and they stepped out into the dark corridor that led to the training area.