The Apocalypse (43 page)

That one baffled Jake. "Why were
you
afraid?"

Hannah gave him
a
dirty look. "Wow, Jake…wow."

Jake's brow furrowed; he was confused about her worrying but decided to ignore that for now, since she apparently wasn't going to answer that. "So when you remembered everything, you weren't mad that I've been letting you believe we were friends?"

"No," Hannah snapped, her anger reappearing violently. "I thought you'd actually turned into a nicer guy and were showing that you didn't really hate me. But you're never going to get over that childish stuff, are you? You're always going to hate me and try to sabotage me."

"That's not true!" Jake snapped back. "I was never trying to sabotage you! I really did want to help you get your memory back—even if it
was
for the wrong reasons in the beginning. Don't I get credit for that?"

"You lost any bit of credit I'd ever give you when you lashed out today." Hannah stared at him coolly, her fists bawling tighter. "You're an asshole, Jake. A bigger asshole than I ever knew."

Jake scowled. "Yeah, I'm an asshole, but if you'd let me explain everything to you—"

"What kind of explanation could you have?" Hannah asked coldly. "I was completely lost after the accident, and you were the only one who didn't make me feel worse." Hannah's eyes filled with tears again. "You let me believe that I could depend on you for anything. Y-you had me completely cr-crazy over you."

The admittance softened Jake. Hannah had just admitted to liking him? Despite everything, she'd said it? The personality of Jake's that was just as crazy over Hannah returned, scared that Hannah was never going to forgive him.

A couple tears rolled down Hannah's smooth cheeks, and she batted them away with her fists furiously. "I would have done anything y-you asked. Hell, fifteen minutes ago I probably still would have. But what do you care about that? All you've been able to think about are ways to get rid of me."

"Will you just let me explain everything to you?" Jake demanded, his irritation arguing with his desperation.

Hannah scoffed. "No. I don't want to hear it."

Jake's shoulders tensed. "That's it? I get to hear your side, but you refuse to listen to mine?"

Opening the passenger side door, Hannah nodded. "That's exactly right, Jake. Because at this point, I don't care about anything you'd have to say, so you can save it for the next girl you want to play." She slid off the seat onto the ground outside. "I'm going to go with my friends—just like you wanted."

"That's not what I want!"

Hannah shrugged. "I really don't care."

Jake stared, stung, as Hannah slammed the truck door and stormed toward the girls waiting next to the skating rink's entrance. In a matter of minutes, Hannah would have informed them—and probably Brent and Ethan as well—of the disaster he'd just created, and he would have a whole group of girls, and possibly his two best friends, pissed at him.

All of that worry about Hannah had almost been for nothing. If he'd kept up his normal behavior for one more day without getting nervous about her memory, Jake would not be living in his own personal hell right now. Instead, he'd be celebrating with Hannah over the return of her memory and maybe even the confession of her feelings for him.

He bet those had disappeared now.

It was crazy to know she would have put all those years of hate behind her and been friends—maybe more than friends—if Jake hadn't exploded at her. Had he kept his calm, maybe he'd be having the time of his life with Hannah right now, not thinking about how his life derailing was solely his own fault. It was crazy to realize just how little Jake really knew Hannah, even though he'd known her for his entire life. He'd completely miscalculated any reaction that she may have had to him after her memory returned. This one wasn't even in his paranoid mix.

Well, shit.

So much for dealing with Hannah carefully.

"You're standing in my space."

Reagan Amburgey turned her head to stare at Hannah, who was glaring right back at the girl. Wow, Hannah had missed this—the daily fighting over the sparse space between their lockers. Finally, Reagan tucked a strand of her black hair behind her ear and replied, "Someone turned into a bitch over the break."

"Thanks, Reagan, but, honestly, I've always been a bitch." Hannah gestured horizontally with her hand. "Now I suggest moving over before I have to do it for you."

Reagan did move
a
pace or two to the side, but she kept staring at Hannah, who was opening her locker, and the feeling of her eyes—heavy laden with black eyeliner and blacker mascara—staring into her aggravated Hannah. Had it really been weeks since they'd had a showdown? How had they managed that? Oh, if a fight broke out now, Hannah would make up for lost time.

"Did the Ghost of Christmas Future visit you and say you could act meaner because there was no hope for happiness in your future anyway?"

Hannah tensed and jerked her books for English out of her locker. "No. The Ghost of Christmas Past visited and let me know that I'd let you have it easy for far too long, skank."

She slammed her locker's door and shoved past Reagan. The safety of her English classroom could not be reached fast enough. It was phenomenal how even the return of her memory didn't help Hannah feel at peace at school.

All because of Jake.

Hannah scoffed at the thought, refusing to let her thoughts turn to him. If she thought about what happened between him and her, she would probably be forced into hunting him down and ripping his head off. Of course, it wouldn't be much of a hunt, as Jake was in her first period class, but Hannah wanted to refrain from physical violence for as long as possible. She figured she'd snap and go postal on him eventually anyway. The longer she held out, the more intense her snapping would be.

Although Hannah recognized many faces of friends and acquaintances as she walked down the hallway, she didn't acknowledge anyone. She barely even spared glances at anyone until she was in her classroom, sitting in her own seat—one that was far away from Jake's area of the room, where she had followed him before.

"Hi, Hannah. How was your Christmas break?"

Slowly, Hannah raised her eyes to look at Stacia Nelson, a pretty brunette girl who sat nearby. "It was okay," Hannah replied vaguely, flicking her eyes around the filling classroom. "What about yours?"

Stacia launched into a tale about how she and her boyfriend had rented a cabin on Lake Erie for a weekend. Though Hannah could have been rude because of her own boy woes and stared at her blankly, she decided to spare Stacia's feelings and instead merely tuned her out, though she did smile politely and force herself to make appropriate 'wows' and 'un-huhs.' Socializing really could be too easy.

Something Hannah refused to admit was that her peripheral vision was set on Jake's desk, waiting for its occupant to arrive. But when the final bell rang and the seat was still empty, Hannah frowned. It was her first nature to wonder where Jake, who never missed class, was, and it was her amnesiac second nature to want to text him to make sure he was okay. But it was the third nature that Hannah was adopting and swearing to live by, so she merely put her attention on her teacher and didn't spare another thought about Jake for the duration of the period.

After class was over, Tisha met up with Hannah in the hallway. Keeping up the pre-accident routine, Hannah had waited on her friend at their normal spot. It was still a little hard for Hannah to comprehend that she hadn't been overly fond of her own best friends during her lapse in memory; she loved those girls!

Not remembering that was embarrassing.

"How's it going?" Tisha asked, her blue-green eyes full of concern. She'd reacted protectively when Hannah told her about the Jake drama, and Hannah appreciated it. At least she knew who her real friends were. "Anything terrible happen in English?"

"Nope," Hannah replied, granting a smile in Tisha's direction. "But I'm going to have to throw down if I go back to my locker. Reagan and I are at it, right where we left off last month."

Amused, Tisha half laughed. "But of course."

"Hello, beautiful ladies," Libby greeted brightly, falling into step with Tisha and Libby. Her dark hair was twisted into a complicated knot that immediately caught Hannah's attention; she wanted to laugh at the craziness of it, but she kept her insult to herself, only because spreading her bad mood to her friends wasn't right. "Good news, Han. My big mouth has successfully spread the word."

Hannah cast a glance at her. "That my memory's back?"

Libby smiled, a little too darkly. "Mmhmm."

Knowing that Libby had all the power to be her informant, Hannah had asked her friend to do the telling for her. It seriously was not an easy thing to just come out and tell people. What was she supposed to say? 'My memory's back…sorry I forgot we were supposed to hang out over Christmas break' or 'My memory's back…sorry I didn't tell you happy birthday or Merry Christmas or Happy New Year' didn't sound like good options to Hannah. It was all around less awkward to let Libby do the talking, and the loud girl had agreed without any bribery.

Eyebrows rising, Hannah asked suspiciously, "And that's all you spread around, Libby? Nothing about anyone else?"

"Hannah!" Libby let out a little whine and stomped her foot impatiently. "You seriously can't expect me to be deprived of this gossip!" She sighed and confessed, "I did tell a few good sources that Jake should be exiled, but I didn't say anything else."

"You left it at that?" Tisha asked dubiously, sharing a look with Hannah. "Your big mouth let that happen?"

Offended, Libby scowled. "Yes. They asked why, of course, but I just said that it wasn't important." She made a voice and shot Hannah
a
look. "It is important though. Hannah, let me ruin his world. Give me and Tish one period—we'll have that boy so buried in rumors that his reputation will never recover."

Tisha smiled slightly. "It could happen… Just say the word, Han."

"No." Hannah shook her head firmly. "Let it go."

"But why?" Libby demanded to know. The three girls stopped at Tisha's locker, and Libby placed her hands on her hips. "Jake screwed you over, and he made us girls look like fools for listening to his spew about helping you out. The least—"

"We're really sorry about that," Tisha interrupted, nibbling her lower lip worriedly. It was the ninth time that she'd apologized for assisting Jake with information. "We had no idea that Jake wasn't being sincere."

Hannah waved her hand dismissively. "Not your fault at all. Forget about it."

"Let us avenge it!" Excitement lit up Libby's impossibly bright eyes. There was nothing like the prospect of life-ruining or revenge to get her in a good mood. "We'll have Jake crawling on his hands and knees."

Stubborn, Hannah simply said, "No."

Libby groaned. "But why not? Revenge is justifiable!"

Sighing, Hannah shook her head. "I better go before I'm late. I've got
a
longer walk than you guys."

Tisha gave Hannah
a
quick hug. "Be strong, girl," she encouraged softly. "If you need me for anything at all, just text me. I'll be there within two minutes."