The Apothecary's Daughter (29 page)

Hand on the latch, Francis turned and looked at her. “And I never
once thought of you as a sister.”

Lilly stood upon the Honeystreet Bridge for the first time since
she’d returned from London. She had crossed it several times, of course, but had never tarried. Yet she felt drawn to do so now, as
though she might find answers in the slowly flowing water of the canal.
She knew she must make a decision, difficult as it seemed. Her aunt’s
recent letter weighed on her mind. She had written to ask if Lillian
would return in time to attend the Langtrys’ annual ball.

Don’t forget the new gown we had made for the occasion
and how much we were all looking forward to it. And Mr. Alban
has just acquired a new Italian novel he knows you will enjoy.
It will sharpen your command of the language before we travel
to Rome this winter…

How Lilly longed to travel to Italy! To see the Coliseum and
Pantheon, the basilicas and squares, to stay in a little pension, to speak
Italian with Italians….

She sighed, knowing that if she stayed in Bedsley Priors any longer she risked her future with the Elliotts. She would forfeit her last
season, her best chance of finding a proper husband and residing in
London as a lady of quality.

Her aunt had also written a piece of unexpected news.

Your uncle insists I mention that Dr. Graves called. Seemed
quite surprised to find you had quit London without a word.
As you had not told him anything, I did not think it my place
to do so and sent him on his way.

Why had he called? Lilly wondered. She had guessed he would
be relieved to be rid of her after the revelation about her mother. Had
she been wrong? If she returned soon, might he still be interested in
courting her?

Part of her was ready to jump aboard the next coach to London.
After all, Haswell’s was not her responsibility. She was only a young
woman. Her father had made it clear he did not want her to give up
her London life for him.

But she also knew that if she left again, there was little hope her father
would survive. If nothing else, his shop his only livelihood would fail. And what about Charlie? Her father was in no condition to look
after him.

Lilly detested the thought of disappointing her generous aunt
and uncle. She felt disloyal, ungrateful. She cringed to imagine the
hurt that would cloud their features. Would they feel as though they
had wasted their time, money, and attentions on her, only for her to
leave them without warning with a roomful of gowns, hats, and hopes
that none of them had use for any longer? All so she could … what?
Attempt to keep her father’s shop going when it was obviously failing, along with her father’s health? Everyone knew women were not
allowed to be apothecaries.

“You are a picture, Miss Haswell.”

Startled from her musings, she turned and saw Mr. Shuttleworth
standing on the canal bank, this time wearing a red velvet frock coat
over the same gold waistcoat and cravat. He circled his hands into a
tube and looked at her through it, as a captain might look through a
ship’s glass. “This is exactly how you looked the very first time I saw
you.

“You are mistaken, sir. You were not even living in Bedsley Priors
the last time I stood here.”

He walked up the bank and onto the bridge.

“Ah. But do you recall my telling you I traveled by narrowboat
on this very canal from Bristol to London?”

She nodded.

“I passed Bedsley Priors, of course, and in fact we tied off there
near The George for several hours. That’s when I saw the first of the
three enticements I mentioned.”

He rested his elbows on the bridge a few feet from where she
stood.

“She was a lovely young lady in white, strolling along the canal
near the mill. A beauty among workmen. A blossom in the mud.”

“Miss Robbins, no doubt,” Lilly said. Did everyone idolize the
girl?

“Yes, though of course I did not know her name at the time. I
stood watching her until she disappeared. By then, the crew had all gone into The George, and I realized I needed a good meal more than
a belly full of smoke and ale. I walked into Bedsley Priors. Into the
coffeehouse. And there was served most kindly by the lovely Miss
Mimpurse. Your oldest friend, I understand.”

“She is indeed. We grew up together.”

He nodded his understanding. “But it was only later, after a good
meal, and back aboard that cramped narrowboat, that we passed under
this bridge and I saw the loveliest enticement of all. Standing here,
looking sad and a bit lost, much as you do now.”

She felt her lips part in surprise, but before she could form any
response, he continued.

“And then and there I decided that as soon as I could, I would
return to this picturesque village. Maybe even set up shop here one
day.

“But first, I served my term with the Apothecaries’ Society, then I
studied at St. Tom’s Hospital for the poor, as well as a private institution, to update my surgical skills. I sold a great deal of my own exotics
collection to raise funds to set myself up in a place. And in between,
spent as much time as I could watching the ships come in. I often
counted five or even six hundred collier ships waiting to discharge
their cargo. Fruit from Kent and Spain, coal from Newcastle, huge
Greenland whales … Do you know, I once even saw a group of porpoises come up with the tide nearly to London Bridge?”

She shook her head in wonder. “And after all that, you left London
to settle here. I am still surprised you would.”

“Are you? I understand you lived in London experienced its
delights and yet you also have returned.”

Have I? Lilly wondered. “I planned only a short visit. But,
well…”

“Your father needs you.”

“Yes.”

“And so you will stay.”

Holding a breath, she squeezed her eyes shut, then exhaled.
“Yes.”

“Well, I for one am pleased to hear it. I own I have never stayed in one place so long before. Even in London, I was forever moving
from one lodging house to another.” He looked at her closely. “Still,
I wonder … Will you always wish, always imagine what you might
be missing elsewhere?”

“Will you?”

He smiled shyly, then returned his gaze to the canal. “It is a bit
early to tell.”

“I warn you,” Lilly said. “If I stay, Haswell’s will give you a run
for your money.”

He grinned at her. “I have no doubt you will prove a worthy adversary-though I do not like to use that term to describe you, Miss
Haswell. It will be a friendly competition, I hope. I for one believe
there are plenty of patients for everybody, what with Honeystreet’s
labourers and canal traffic, and Alton so close by.”

“You are surprisingly fair and generous, sir.”

He shrugged. “I have no longing for great wealth. For great adventure, yes, to travel widely and love deeply these things I value more
than profits. Though certainly one needs enough of those to finance
the former things.”

She chuckled. “So I am learning.”

“And you, Miss Haswell. What is it you want?”

She stared thoughtfully at the turbid water below. Once, she had
wanted to experience life and love beyond Bedsley Priors. That, and
to find her mother. In London, she had experienced a small measure
of each. What did she want now? Instead of trying to verbalize her
jumbled thoughts, she parroted his own words back to him. “It is a
bit early to tell.”

My dear Aunt @ Uncle Elliott,

I am sorry to disappoint you, but I will be remaining here
in Bedsley Priors for the foreseeable future. My father is quite
ill and his shop failing. Though he does not ask it of me, and though much of my heart is still with you in London, I know I
must stay to help Father and look after Charlie. It pains me to
be apart from you and to miss all the events and travels we’d
planned, but I hope you will understand my decision, painful
as it is. I regret the great expense and trouble you have taken
over me, but I for one do not count it wasted. My months with
you will forever be a treasure in my memory and in my heart.
While I enjoyed the education and all the entertainments, what
I valued most was coming to feel as though I were truly part of
your family. I love you both and always shall.

I plan to write to Christina P-W myself, but please give my
regards to others of our acquaintance, as you judge best.

With love @ gratitude,

Lillian

She did not write to Dr. Graves, knowing it was improper for
an unmarried woman to write to any man not of her family, unless
they were formally engaged. Had Dr. Graves asked, her uncle might
have given him permission to write to her, though her aunt would
not approve. But as the weeks passed without correspondence, she
realized anew that Dr. Graves did not wish to continue their relationship, regardless of the call her aunt had mentioned. Lilly had already
guessed as much but still felt the silence keenly.

She did write to Christina, congratulating her on her engagement
and asking her to pass along her farewells and warm felicitations to
her family. She knew Christina would not stay in touch. As much
fun as they’d had together, their friendship was not deep like hers
and Mary’s. Lilly did not think the worse of Christina for it. Out of
sight, out of mind, the saying went, and in Lilly’s brief experience,
this was a rule effortlessly observed by others. She sometimes wished
she could do the same.

Desperate affairs require desperate measures.

ADMIRAL HORATIO NELSON

illy asked Charlie to scrape the peeling paint from the many-paned
shopwindow. He seemed to take to the repetitive task effortlessly.
She purchased new paint from the ironmonger in Huntley’s Yard, and
arose early to paint the window frames herself. Her arms ached from
the effort, but she felt satisfaction at doing the work on her own, saving
money she desperately needed to restock the shop.

Most mornings, she and Charlie worked in the physic garden,
harvesting all the flowers, seeds, and roots they could. She hung the
flowers upside down to dry in the herb garret and shop rafters, and
ground what root they needed immediately, while storing the rest in
the cellar. When the shop bell rang, still unfortunately a rare occurrence, Lilly would hastily lay aside her garden work and jog into the
shop, wiping her hands on her apron as she went, fretting over what
each patron might require. Recommending remedies for everyday
needs headache powders, laxatives, hair and complexion creams, tooth sponges, and the like was no problem. But when a person
especially a man wanted medical advice, that sent her adrift in murky
waters.