T
HERE IS A GIRL
sitting on a bed, knees pulled up beneath her chin.
I run the memories back until I find the small calendar by the bed that reads
MARCH
, the blue dress on the corner chair, the black book on the table by the bed. Da was
right.
Bread crumbs and bookmarks.
My fingers found their way.
The girl on the bed is thin in a delicate way, with light blond hair that falls in
waves around her narrow face. She is younger than I am, and talking to the boy with
the bloodstained hands, only right now his hands are still clean. Her words are a
murmur, nothing more than static, and the boy won’t stand still. I can tell by the
girl’s eyes that she’s talking slowly, insistently, but the boy’s replies are urgent,
punctuated by his hands, which move through the air in sweeping gestures. He can’t
be much older than she is, but judging by his feverish face and the way he sways,
he’s been drinking. He looks like he’s about to be sick. Or scream.
The girl sees it too, because she slides from the bed and offers him a glass of water
from the top of the dresser. He knocks the glass away hard and it shatters, the sound
little more than a crackle. His fingers dig into her arm. She pushes him away a few
times before he loses his grip and stumbles back into the bed frame. She turns, runs.
He’s up, swiping a large shard of glass from the floor. It cuts into his hand as he
lunges for her. She’s at the door when he reaches her, and they tumble into the hall.
I drag my hand along the floor until I can see them through the doorway, and then
I wish I couldn’t. He’s on top of her, and they are a tangle of glass and blood and
fighting limbs, her slender bare feet kicking under him as he pins her down.
And then the struggle slows. And stops.
He drops the shard beside her body and staggers to his feet, and I can see her, the
lines carved across her arms, the far deeper cut across her throat. The shard pressed
into her own palm. He stands over her a moment before turning back toward the bedroom.
Toward me. He is covered in blood.
Her
blood. My stomach turns, and I have to resist the urge to scramble away. He is not
here. I am not there.
You killed her, I whisper. Who are you? Who is she?
He staggers into the room, and for a moment he breaks, slides into a crouch, rocking.
But then he gets back up. He looks down at himself, the glitter of broken glass at
his feet, and over at the body, and begins to wipe his bloody hands slowly and then
frantically on his bloody shirt. He scrambles over to the closet and yanks a black
coat from a hook, forcing it on and pulling it closed. And then he runs, and I’m left
staring at the girl’s body in the hall.
The blood is soaking into her pale blond hair. Her eyes are open, and in that moment,
all I want is to cross to her and close them.
I pull my hands from the floor and open my eyes, and the memory shatters into the
now, taking the body with it. The room is my room again, but I still see her in that
horrible light-echo way, like she’s burned into my vision. I shove my ring on, tripping
over half the boxes as I focus on the simple need to get the hell out of this apartment.
I slam the door to 3F behind me and sag against it, sliding to the floor and pressing
my palms to my eyes, breathing into the space between my chest and knees.
Revulsion claws up my throat and I swallow hard and picture Da taking one look at
me and laughing through smoke, telling me how silly I look. I picture the council
who inducted me seeing straight through the worlds and declaring me unfit. I am not
M, I think. Not some silly squeamish girl. I am more. I am a Keeper. I am Da’s replacement.
It’s not the blood, or even the murder, though both turn my stomach. It’s the fact
that he
ran
. All I can think is, did he get away? Did he get away with that?
Suddenly I need to move, to hunt, to do
something
, and I get up, steadying myself against the door, and pull the list from my pocket,
thankful to have a name.
But the name is gone. The paper is blank.
“You look like you could use a muffin.”
I shove the paper back in my jeans and look up to find Wesley Ayers at the other end
of the hall, tossing a still-wrapped
Welcome!
muffin up and down like a baseball. I don’t feel like doing this right now, like
putting on a face and acting normal.
“You still have that?” I ask wearily.
“Oh, I ate mine,” he says, heading toward me. “I swiped this one from Six B. They’re
out of town this week.”
I nod.
When he reaches me, his face falls. “You all right?”
“I’m fine,” I lie.
He sets the muffin on the carpet. “You look like you need some fresh air.”
What I need are answers. “Is there a place here where they keep records? Logs, anything
like that?”
Wesley’s head tilts when he thinks. “There’s the study. Mostly old books, classics,
anything that looks, well, like it belongs in a study. But it might have something.
It’s kind of the opposite of fresh air, though, and there’s this garden I was going
to show—”
“Tell you what. Point me to the study, and then you can show me whatever you want.”
Wesley’s smile lights up his face, from his sharp chin all the way to the tips of
his spiked hair. “Deal.”
He bypasses the elevator and leads me down the flight of concrete steps to the grand
staircase, and from there down into the lobby. I keep my distance, remembering the
last time we touched. He’s several steps below me, and from this angle, I can just
see beneath the collar of his black shirt. Something glints, a charm on a leather
cord. I lean, trying to see—
“Where are you going?” comes a small voice. Wesley jumps, grabs his chest.
“Jeez, Jill,” he says. “Way to scare a guy in front of a girl.”
It takes me several seconds to find Jill, but finally I spot her in one of the leather
high-backed chairs in a front corner, reading a book. The book comes up to the bridge
of her nose. She skims the pages with sharp blue eyes, and every now and then turns
her attention up, as if she’s waiting for something.
“He spooks easily,” she calls behind her book.
Wesley runs his fingers through his hair and manages a tight laugh. “Not one of my
proudest traits.”
“You should see what happens when you really surprise him,” offers Jill.
“That’s enough, brat.”
Jill turns a page with a flourish.
Wesley casts a glance back at me and offers his arm. “Onward?”
I smile thinly but decline to take it. “After you,” I say.
He leads the way across the lobby. “What are you looking for, anyway?”
“Just wanted to learn about the building. Do you know much about it?”
“Can’t say I do.” He guides me down a hall on the other side of the grand stairs.
“Here we are,” he says, pushing open the door to the study. It’s stuffed to the brim
with books. A corner desk and a few leather chairs furnish the space, and I scan the
spines for anything useful. My eyes trail over encyclopedias, several volumes of poetry,
a complete set of Dickens.…
“Come on, come on,” he says, crossing the room. “Keep up.”
“Study first,” I say. “Remember?”
“I pointed it out.” He gestures to the room as he reaches a pair of doors at the far
side of the study. “You can come back later. The books aren’t going anywhere.”
“Just give me a—”
He flings the doors open. Beyond them, there’s a garden flooded with twilight and
air and chaos. Wesley steps out onto the moss-covered rocks, and I drag my attention
from the books and follow him out.
The dying light lends the garden a glow, shadows weaving through vines, colors dipping
darker, deeper. The space is old and fresh at once, and I forget how much I’ve missed
the feel of green. Our old house had a small yard, but it was nothing like Da’s place.
He had the city at his front but the country at his back, land that stretched out
in a wild mass. Nature is constantly growing, changing, one of the few things that
can’t hold memories. You forget how much clutter there is in the world, in the people
and things, until you’re surrounded by green. And even if they don’t hear and see
and feel the past the way I do, I wonder if normal people feel this too—the quiet.
“‘The sun retreats,’” Wes says softly, reverently. “‘The day, outlived, is o’er. It
hastens hence and lo, a new world is alive.’”
My eyebrows must be creeping up, because when he glances over his shoulder at me,
he gives me his slanted smile.
“What? Don’t look so surprised. Beneath this shockingly good hair is something vaguely
resembling a brain.” He crosses the garden to a stone bench woven over with ivy, and
brushes away the tendrils to reveal the words etched into the rock.
“It’s
Faust
,” he says. “And it’s possible I spend a good deal of time here.”
“I can see why.” It’s bliss. If bliss had gone untouched for fifty years. The place
is tangled, unkempt. And perfect. A pocket of peace in the city.
Wesley slides onto the bench. He rolls up his sleeves and leans back to watch the
streaking clouds, blowing a blue-black chunk of hair from his face.
“The study never changes, but this place is different every moment, and really best
at sun fall. Besides”—he waves a hand at the Coronado—“I can give you a proper tour
some other time.”
“I thought you didn’t live here,” I say, looking up at the dimming sky.
“I don’t. But my cousin, Jill, does, with her mom. Jill and I are both only children,
so I try to keep an eye on her. You have any siblings?”
My chest tightens, and for a moment I don’t know how to answer. No one’s asked that,
not since Ben died. In our old town, everyone knew better, skipped straight to pity
and condolences. I don’t want either from Wesley, so I shake my head, hating myself
even as I do, because it feels like I’m betraying Ben, his memory.
“Yeah, so you know how it is. It can get lonely. And hanging around this old place
is better than the alternative.”
“Which is?” I find myself asking.
“My dad’s. New fiancée. Satan in a skirt, and all. So I end up here more often than
not.” He arches back, letting his spine follow the curve of the bench.
I close my eyes, relishing the feel of the garden, the cooling air and the smell of
flowers and ivy. The horror hidden in my room begins to feel distant, manageable,
though the question still whispers in my mind:
Did he get away?
I breathe deep and try to push it from my thoughts, just for a moment.
And then I feel Wesley stand and come up beside me. His fingers slide through mine.
The noise hits a moment before his rings knock against mine, the bass and beat thrumming
up my arm and through my chest. I try to push back, to block him out, but it makes
it worse, the sound of his touch crushing even though his fingers are featherlight
on mine. He lifts my hand and gently turns it over.
“You look like you lost a fight with the moving equipment,” he says, gesturing to
the bandage on my forearm.
I try to laugh. “Looks like it.”
He lowers my hand and untangles his fingers. The noise fades, my chest loosening by
degrees until I can breathe, like coming up through water. Again my eyes are drawn
to the leather cord around his neck, the charm buried beneath the black fabric of
his shirt. My gaze drifts down his arms, past his rolled sleeves, toward the hand
that just let go of mine. Even in the twilight I can see a faint scar.
“Looks like you’ve lost a couple fights of your own,” I say, running my fingers through
the air near his hand, not daring to touch. “How did you get that?”
“A stint as a spy. I wasn’t much good.”
A crooked line runs down the back of his hand. “And that?”
“Scuff with a lion.”
Watching Wesley lie is fascinating.
“And that?”
“Caught a piranha bare-handed.”
No matter how absurd the tale, he says it steady and simple, with the ease of truth.
A scratch runs along his forearm. “And that?”
“Knife fight in a Paris alley.”
I search his skin for marks, our bodies drawing closer without touching.
“Dove through a window.”
“Icicle.”
“Wolf.”
I reach up, my fingers hovering over a nick on his hairline.
“And this?”
“A History.”
Everything stops.
His whole face changes right after he says it, like he’s been punched in the stomach.
The silence hangs between us.
And then he does an unfathomable thing. He smiles.
“If you were clever,” he says slowly, “you would have asked me what a History was.”
I am still frozen when he reaches out and brushes a finger over the three lines etched
into the surface of my ring, then twists one of his own rings to reveal a cleaner
but identical set of lines. The Archive’s insignia. When I don’t react—because no
fluid lie came to me and now it’s too late—he closes the gap between us, close enough
that I can
almost
hear the bass again, radiating off his skin. His thumb hooks under the cord around
my throat and guides my key out from under my shirt. It glints in the twilight. Then
he fetches the key from around his own neck.
“There,” he says cheerfully. “Now we’re on the same page.”
“You knew,” I say at last.
His forehead wrinkles. “I’ve known since the moment you came into the hall last night.”
“How?”
“Your eyes went to the keyhole. You did a decent job of hiding the look, but I was
watching for it. Patrick told me there would be a new Keeper here. Wanted to see for
myself.”
“Funny, because Patrick didn’t tell
me
there was an old one.”
“The Coronado isn’t really my territory. It hasn’t been anyone’s for ages. I like
to check in on Jill, and I keep an eye on the place while I’m at it. It’s an old building,
so you know how it goes.” He taps a nail against his key. “I even have special access.
Your doors are my doors.”