The Aristocrat and the Single Mom (16 page)

Kate watched Simon disappear into the shadows—his back stiff, his shoulders hunched, his strides long. She pressed the heel of her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob.

She would not cry. She would not.

But when she closed her eyes, all she could see was the devastation in Simon’s face.

‘Mum!’

Jesse? She half turned, but stopped herself in time. She didn’t want him to see the poor job she’d done at not crying. It would frighten him.

Small arms were flung around her neck. ‘Don’t cry, Mummy. Please don’t cry,’ he sobbed against her neck.

She gulped her sobs back and huddled him close, but she couldn’t stem the tears that coursed down her cheeks. She dragged him onto her lap and tucked his head beneath her chin so he couldn’t see them. ‘What’s up, chook?’

‘Simon is going away, isn’t he?’

‘He has to.’

‘But I don’t want him to. Not if it makes you sad.’

She raised her face to the sky and forced her eyes wide to stem the tears. She prayed the breeze would dry all traces of them from her cheeks. ‘Remember how I told you it’s okay to cry when you’re sad?’

He nodded.

‘Well, that goes for grown-ups too.’

‘I don’t want you to be sad,’ he whispered.

Of course he didn’t. He loved her with a completeness that sometimes awed her. Her heart might be breaking, but as she held him close she knew she’d done the right thing. She’d known the heartbreak of growing up without one of her parents. She would not let that be Jesse’s fate.

‘Well, now—’ she pursed her lips and forced the beginnings of a smile, adjusting him in her lap so he could see her face ‘—no one can be happy a hundred per cent of the time.’ She made herself grin. ‘So I’ll just have to settle for ninety-nine per cent of the time instead. And this has just been my itsy-bitsy one per cent.’

He stared at her, his eyes wide.

‘See?’ She smiled and kissed him on the nose to make him smile too. ‘I’m going to be A-OK.’

‘You promise?’

‘I promise.’

‘Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?’

She pretended to consider it. ‘No, I think I will be fine, thank you. Besides—’ she tickled him ‘—you’d keep me awake all night with your snoring.’

He wriggled under her searching fingers. ‘I don’t snore.’ He giggled.

‘C’mon.’ She set him on the ground. ‘It’s time you were tucked up in bed.’

She took his hand and led him back into the house.

When Kate woke the next morning, she found Jesse’s head on the pillow beside her and his eyes regarding her steadily.

‘Good morning, chook. How long have you been here?’

‘For a bit.’

It couldn’t have been for too long. She hadn’t fallen asleep until the wee small hours and a glance at the clock told her it wasn’t much past six now.

‘And I was very, very careful not to snore.’

‘I greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness.’

Jesse didn’t giggle like he normally would. ‘Are you still sad?’

She gave a mock glare. ‘Do I look sad to you?’

Jesse didn’t answer and she thought perhaps it might be better not to have asked that question. She brushed the hair out of his eyes. ‘What’s on for school today? Sport?’

‘Couldn’t we make Simon stay?’

Oh, dear. She tried to pull a silly face. ‘Ooh, like lock him up in the dungeon?’

He gave her one of those looks. ‘We don’t have a dungeon, Mum.’

‘The attic, then?’

‘We don’t have one of those either. But—’

She pressed a finger to his lips. ‘Simon can’t stay, sweetheart, even though he wants to. He’s in charge of a big, big house and—’

‘How big?’

‘It could be as big as our whole street for all I know.’

‘That big,’ he breathed. ‘Wow.’

‘I know.’ She jumped out of bed. ‘Let’s look it up on the computer.’

She let Jesse fire up the computer whilst she made coffee. ‘What do I type in?’ he asked.

‘Try Holm House.’ She squeezed into the seat beside him and spelt it out for him. She sipped her coffee as the computer chugged away for a bit…

Both their jaws dropped at the same moment. The most impressive house Kate had ever seen outside of a period drama appeared on screen—huge, regal…had she already thought
huge
?

Jesse turned to her, all eyes. ‘
That’s
where Simon lives?’

She gulped, running her finger along the accompanying blurb. ‘Uh-huh, the residence of the seventh Lord of Holm—that’s Simon. Has been used in movie sets and…and…’

‘Wow!’ Jesse stared at her, then back at the screen. ‘Wow!’

‘Yep.’ She nodded. ‘Wow. You see, Jesse, it’s a very important house because of…’ she floundered for a moment
‘…because of history. Kings and queens have stayed there.’ Now she was just making it up as she went along, but England had had a lot of kings and queens. Surely one of them had stayed on the Holm estate. ‘And it’s Simon’s job to look after that house. He’s promised to preserve it for…for future generations. He’s going to let people have their weddings and conferences there, and make films…and stuff,’ she finished lamely.

Her eyes started to burn. Had Simon really wanted to share all of this with her?

She snapped to when she realised Jesse was watching her with big grave eyes. ‘And that’s why Simon has to go back to England,’ she said.

Jesse sighed. ‘I bet having a house like that means he’s awful busy.’

‘I bet you’re right. But you know what else? I bet Simon would love to have you as his email buddy.’

He brightened. ‘You think so?’

‘I’m sure of it.’

Jesse and Simon had formed a bond. Time and distance might weaken it, perhaps even destroy it, but she wouldn’t. No sirree.

‘C’mon, mister. Let’s make pancakes for breakfast and then it’s off to school with you.’

And no more daydreaming for her.

‘Pop the champagne, Danny,’ Felice ordered, striding outside and setting an enormous pan of paella, bursting with plump prawns and juicy mussels, onto the table.

It looked heavenly, and probably smelt heavenly, and if Kate could draw a proper breath perhaps she’d manage to appreciate it more.

Felice beamed around the table. ‘We’re going to toast Simon’s last night—on this visit, at least—in style.’

Simon’s last night. Here. In Australia.

If her eyes didn’t keep clouding over perhaps she’d appreciate the beautiful table setting Felice had arranged with so much care
too—a pretty tablecloth, frangipani flowers floating in a bowl of water, crystal champagne flutes. French champagne.

Kate sighed. She couldn’t seem to dredge up an ounce of enthusiasm for any of it. Everything seemed deadened and dull. The champagne she sipped, the salt-drenched air, even the view spread out in front of her lacked colour and life.

‘Hey!’

Jesse? That spun her around. ‘What are you—’

Paul! She leapt to her feet. What was wrong? What had happened?

‘We made it,’ Jesse cried, dragging Paul to the table.

Of course. Kate sat. Felice wouldn’t have forgotten to invite Jesse for Simon’s last dinner. And Jesse wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Kate pasted on her happy face.

Felice doled out large servings of paella. Kate wanted to tell her not to make her serving too large, but she didn’t want to sound ungracious. Her face started to ache from her happy smile. Beside her, she could sense Simon’s tension. Sitting beside him, dragging in drugging breaths of his cool scent, was probably better than sitting across from him, ogling his superb shoulders in that navy polo shirt that darkened his eyes.

Because she knew it wasn’t the shirt that darkened his eyes, but pain. And she couldn’t reach out and wipe that pain away. So sitting beside him rather than opposite was infinitely preferable. For him too, she guessed. He wouldn’t see her happy smile for the sham it was.

‘I’m glad you could make it,’ Felice said to Paul, handing him a laden plate.

‘I had to come,’ he said simply. ‘Jesse is worried about Kate.’

The entire table stilled. Then, as one, turned to stare at Kate.

‘Oh, Jesse.’ But her son stared down at his plate and wouldn’t meet her eyes.

Paul glared at Simon. ‘He said you made her cry.’

‘Can we talk about this in private?’ she hissed at Paul.

He shook his head once—hard. ‘We’re all family here, Kate. We care about you.’

‘But—’

‘Let the man speak for himself.’

Kate slumped back. ‘I’m sorry about this, Simon.’

Simon reached out and covered her hand with his. Warmth flooded through her. ‘You have nothing to apologise for.’ And then he removed his hand and the warmth drifted away and was gone.

Just like Simon would be gone. Tomorrow.

Simon straightened his shoulders. ‘Jesse is right. I did make Kate cry. I didn’t mean to.’ He hauled in a breath. ‘I’ve hurt her and I’ll regret it to my dying day. I’m very sorry.’

Paul stared at Simon and then his shoulders sagged. ‘You’re in love with her.’

It was a statement, not a question, but Simon answered anyway. ‘Yes.’

‘And Mummy loves Simon.’

Felice dropped the serving spoon. It splattered the tablecloth and almost upset the bowl of frangipani flowers. She stared at Kate and Simon. ‘I had no idea.’ She sank into her chair, one hand covering her mouth.

No. She and Danny had been too caught up in their post-honeymoon bliss. As they should be. Kate didn’t blame them for that. She didn’t blame anyone.

‘But this is perfect!’ Felice practically bounced out of her seat. ‘You guys were meant for each other.’

Kate didn’t say anything, nor did Simon. He didn’t move so much as a muscle. She couldn’t move anything.

Danny rested his arms on the table, leaning across it towards her. ‘If you love him, Kate, then…Look, Felice and I, we want to stay here and run Merry Dolphin Tours. You’ve done everything for so long, it’s time I pulled my weight. With Archie’s help, Felice and I can take over, and you’d be free to go with Simon. You’re not tied here.’

From somewhere she managed to find a smile. ‘I may not be, but Jesse is.’

Danny sat back, glanced at Paul, then swore softly under his breath. ‘Hell, I wasn’t thinking. Sorry, Kate, Paul, I…’

She wanted to tell him it was okay, that she knew he only wanted her to be happy, but the effort was beyond her for the moment.

Felice shook her head, glancing around the table wildly. ‘No, that can’t be it! Paul could visit. Jesse can come back for school holidays and—’

‘No!’ Kate hadn’t meant to speak so loudly. She didn’t mean for Felice’s eyes to fill up with tears either, but this had to be settled. ‘I wouldn’t dream of letting Paul take Jesse out of the country to live, leaving me to see him only on brief visits and school holidays. So I won’t do that to Paul either. I won’t do that to Jesse.’

With all her heart she wanted to pack up and follow Simon tomorrow—even if it meant leaving her home and her family. Somehow, Simon had become her family. But she couldn’t do it if it meant Jesse suffered. Jesse had to come first.

‘Jesse needs both me and Paul.’ She pulled in a breath. ‘This is for the best.’ She glanced around the table with her fiercest smile. ‘Now, c’mon guys, this is supposed to be a celebratory dinner. Chop-chop, Felice.’ She clapped her hands. ‘Keep serving; I’m hungry and I prefer my paella lukewarm, not stone-cold.’

Felice leapt up to serve, Danny tried to tell a joke but it petered out before he got to the punchline. Jesse ran around the table to her. His bottom lip wobbled. ‘But you’re still going to be sad!’

‘No, I won’t, chook. I’ll be as cheerful and happy as ever.’

He placed his hands on either side of her face. ‘Your mouth smiles, but your eyes aren’t sparkly any more.’

The table gave a collective gasp. The serving spoon clat
tered into the bowl of frangipani flowers. Kate was too shattered to speak.

Simon’s strong hands descended to Jesse’s shoulders and turned him around. He smiled at Kate over the top of Jesse’s head—a buck up smile. She tried to buck up.

‘Jesse—’ he started in that to-die-for accent of his ‘—as long as your mum has you she’ll never be truly sad. More than just about anything, she wants you to be happy, and I know you understand that because you want her to be happy too.’

Jesse nodded. ‘Uh-huh.’

‘But, even more than that, she wants what’s best for you. It might make you happy to have a second bowl of ice cream or to eat a whole block of chocolate, but she’s not going to let you do that because she knows it’ll give you a stomach ache and rot your teeth. You might want to race outside without your hat and sunscreen, but she’s not going to let you do that either because you might get sunburned.’

Jesse nodded again. ‘’Cause mums know what will make you sad later.’

Kate’s soul filled with pride in her son.

‘Your mum knows what’s best for you,’ Simon continued. ‘And what’s best is to have both her and your dad living nearby so you can see both of them whenever you want. Although it’s hard and makes all of us a bit sad, what your mum is doing is right. Okay, mate?’

‘Okay,’ Jesse finally mumbled. Then he flung his arms around Simon’s neck. ‘But we’ll miss you!’

Simon’s strong arms went around her child and Kate couldn’t suppress a sigh.

‘I’ll miss all of you too.’ Slowly Simon drew back as if reluctant to release Jesse. ‘But if it’s okay with your mum and dad, maybe you could visit when Felice and Danny come over in June?’

‘Wow, really?’ Jesse swung to Kate, his eyes filled with hope. ‘You could come too.’

She tried to smile, tried to make her eyes sparkly. ‘Someone will need to stay here and pilot
The Merry Dolphin
.’ She could not go to England and see Simon. She couldn’t.

Jesse’s face fell. ‘But—’

She leaned forward, laying a finger against his lips. ‘Enough for now, okay. We’ll talk about it when the time gets closer. We’re supposed to be making Simon’s last night here fun. So back around the table and eat your dinner, young man.’

Felice, with tears pouring down her face, continued to serve out what Kate suspected was now stone-cold paella. All Kate wanted to do was rest her head against the table top and groan. Beneath the table, Simon gripped her hand.