The Art of Life (11 page)

 
              
“Mom,” I hiss sharply.
 
“I am a virgin, so there isn’t anything you
need to worry about.”

               
She
thrusts forth the debit card.
 
“Here, get
whatever you want.
 
You should buy some
new clothes, too, to go along with your hair.”

               
“We
are planning to do that next weekend,” Jeremy replies nicely.

               
Nodding,
my mom mumbles, “Good, I am going to the bar now.”

               
“Have
fun!” I say sarcastically, but it goes completely unnoticed by her.
 
Turning to Jeremy, I exclaim, “I am so sorry
about my mom!”

               
Jeremy
just laughs.
 
“It’s fine.”

               
“It
is not fine!” I snap.
 
“How more horribly
embarrassed could I be?”

               
“She
could have told us to go buy some contraceptives.”

               
My
eyes nearly explode.
 
“I would have
probably died.”

               
“You
should always use protection,” he says, with a big grin.

               
“Jeremy!
 
Shut up!”

               
That
makes him laugh even more.
 
“This makes
my day.”

               
“I
am glad that you find it so funny,” I mumble.

               
“
Relax,
at least she didn’t give us THE TALK.”
 
I just look at him with a blank stare.
 
Narrowing his eyes, he asks, “She has had
that conversation with you right?”

               
My
face heats up from blushing.
  
“Ugh, sort
of, we have had some weird conversations while she has been drunk.”

               
Getting
a huge smile on his face, Jeremy inquires, “Do I need to talk to you about it?”

               
“No!”
I practically scream.
 
“We seriously need
to the change the topic.”

               
“But
this is so much fun!”

               
I
glare at him and articulate strongly, “No, it’s not.”

               
“Well,
if you ever have any questions, feel free to ask.”

               
Now,
I really want to be somewhere else.
 
“I
will NEVER ask you about THAT!”

               
Leaning
forward, he says, “It’s called
ssseeeexxxx
.”

               
That
makes me cover my face with my hands.
 
“It’s called shut up!”

               
Jeremy
continues to chuckle, but goes to the last wall with my art.
 
“You are an amazing artist.”

               
“Thanks,”
I say, grateful for the subject change.
 
“Oh!
 
That reminds me.
 
I made you something.”
 
I put my backpack down and unzip it.
 

               
“Oh,
oh, oh, is it made out of macaroni noodles?” Jeremy giddily jokes.

               
“Now
you aren’t going to get it,” I laugh, “make fun of my macaroni noodles.”

               
Coming
over to me, Jeremy retorts, “I love macaroni noodle art.”

               
“Well
then, you will be disappointed.”
 
I bring
out the drawing.
 
“I matted it for you,
to make it look nice, and well, I did the bike to the best of my recollection.
 
So, it’s not the best.”
 
Carefully, I hand it over to Jeremy.

               
“Isabelle,”
he quietly whispers, “this is fantastic.
 
You did this last night?”

               
Nodding,
I reply, “Yeah.”
 
I walk over to look
over his shoulder. “Do you like it?”

               
I
watch Jeremy look at it.
 
It is a
sketching of him sitting on his bike, down by the clearing.
 
“I feel privileged to have you draw me.
 
This is getting framed and going up in my
living room.”

               
“Oh no!”
I gasp.
 
“You
have people over and then they will see it.”

               
“Isn’t
that the point of art?” He asks, looking back at me.

               
My
eyes quickly look away.
 
“Yeah, but I haven’t
really shown people my work.”

               
“Is
this mine?
 
You are giving it to me,
right?”

               
“Yeah,”
I reply.
 
“Why?”

               
Getting
close to me, he whispers, “I am putting this up in my apartment, and I am going
to proudly show it off.
 
It is
beautiful.
 
You need to show people your
art.”

               
I
look up at him.
 
“Are we friends, like
real friends?”

               
“Oh
yeah totally,” Jeremy replies seriously.

               
“Well
then, I am happy that you came into my life.
 
You have made me feel so much better about myself, and I am glad that I
can share the best part of who I am with you.
 
You are the first person to really SEE my art.”

               
With
a smile, Jeremy replies, “I am most privileged.”

               
That
makes me happy.
 
He makes me happy.
 
“Well, we should go.
 
I am getting hungry myself.”

               
“Thank
you for the gift.”

               
I
shake my head.
 
“It’s
nothing,
you have done so much for me.”
 
Looking
up at him, I say, “I still don’t know why.”

               
“Well,
I wanted to help you, but now, I would like to be your friend.”
 
Jeremy states, “You are a cool chick. I don’t
understand why you don’t have more friends.”

               
Shrugging,
I reply, “I don’t have any self esteem and am really shy.”

               
“We
will get you past that.
 
Come
on,
let’s go, unless you want to talk to your mom more about
IT?”

               
“You
are not going to let that go, are you?” I ask.

               
Wiggling
his eyebrows, Jeremy replies, “Nope!”

               
“Let’s
go,” I mumble, grabbing his hand and pulling him through the door.
 

               
“Wait,”
Jeremy says, yanking me to the stop.
 
“I
just realized looking at this picture.
 
This guy in your sketches, that’s the Eric guy.”

               
My
hand comes up to cover my face.
 
“I was
hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

               
“You
really like him that much?”

               
Do
I?
 
“It’s like…he is the only guy that I
have ever had a crush on.
 
I barely even
know him.
 
He is so cute and really nice
from what I have heard.”

               
Jeremy
looks closely at the picture.
 
“Your
picture looks better than he does in person.”

               
“Jeremy!”
I chastise.

               
“What?”
He laughs.
 
“If you want, I will try and
get you a date with him.”

               
Crossing
my arms, I ask, “How are you going to do that?”

               
“Make
you something he really wants,” Jeremy retorts.
 
“He should want you because of you, but if you really want to get a date
with him, then I will help you.”

               
“Now,
that would be cool.
 
It would be a total
cliché though.”

               
With
a quizzical look, Jeremy says, “Why?”

               
“The
dorky girl gets the cute crush guy.
 
I am
in my own movie.”

               
A
burst of laughter comes from Jeremy.
 
“Am
I the fairy god mother?”

               
“Yes!”
I yell, clapping my hands.
 
“See, that is
where it’s not a movie.
 
Fairy god
mothers aren’t usually hot guys.”
 
I
giggle.

               
Arching
his eyebrow, Jeremy gets a devious smirk.
 
“So, you think I am hot?”

               
Instantly,
my face is red.
 
“Shut up!
 
Gosh, way to ruin a
moment.”

               
Jeremy
quickly grabs me up into his arms.
 
“I am
more than happy to be your HOT fairy god father.”

               
“Put
me down!” I laugh.
 
“Let’s go.”

               
We
walk through the store making fun of each other.
 
“Where are we going to find this stuff?”
Jeremy asks.

               
“Health and beauty maybe?
 
I have no idea,” I reply.

               
“Oh!”
Jeremy says, “Wait, we need this aisle!”

               
I
look and quickly back up, “No!”

               
“Yes,
your mommy said so!”
 
Jeremy wraps his
arms around me and starts to pull me to the contraceptive aisle.

               
Laughing,
I yell, “Jeremy, let go of me!”

               
“No,
I think we should go through all of this.”

               
Not
being able to get out of his grip, I try stomping on his feet.
 
He just lifts me up in the air.
 
“Let me go, you jerk!”

               
He
finally sets me down and holds me in place.
 
“I am trying my hardest to embarrass you.”

               
“Don’t
you think I do a good enough job of that myself?” I ask.

               
“Nah,
you need my help.”

               
Spinning,
I get out of his grip and turn to walk back down the aisle.
 
Suddenly, I come face to face with Eric.
 
“Oh,” I stammer. “Hi.”

               
“Hey,”
he replies slowly.
 
His eyes drift over
to Jeremy.
 
Who is, of course, standing
next to the
condoms.
 
I am going to kill him.
 
Eric
looks down at me.
 
“You did your hair
differently.”

               
“Oh,”
I say, putting my hand up to my head.
 
“Yeah, I did it today.”

               
Jeremy
comes up behind me.
 
“I think she looks
gorgeous, not that she wasn’t pretty before.”

               
With
a nod of his head, Eric says, “No, it looks good.”
 
The corner of his mouth twitches into a
smile.

               
“Well,”
Jeremy interjects, “We need to go do stuff.
 
Did you want me to grab something, Izzy?”

               
I
am going to punch him. I am going to punch him and then die.
 
“No,” I hiss.