The Art of Wag (30 page)

Rob sat up again, moved to the edge of the futon, and put his feet on the floor. “I didn’t think you’d understand. From what you’ve said, you haven’t ever wanted something bad enough to really work hard for it. If you know deep down that you never truly did everything you possibly could, you’re never completely disappointed either.”

“That’s not true. I tried in college!”

“Couldn’t you have switched majors, explored other options, or done something else instead of just quitting and going home to live with your parents?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Who knows? That was a long time ago.”

“I’m just saying that different people have things that affect their lives. Different experiences. Baggage. All that has an effect on how you react.”

“This is all too depressing. I don’t want to have this conversation.” She gestured toward the windows. “I screwed up at the meeting and you’re just acting like it’s no big deal. I mean, what are you, some kind of bizarre robot?”

Rob jerked away as if she’d slapped him, and stood up. He walked over to the coffee table and slammed his mug down on the edge of it with enough force that the ancient wooden legs on one side collapsed. The table fell and the laptop slid off and crashed to the floor, landing on Rob’s glasses. One lens popped out of the frame and spun across the floor like a top. Roxy yipped, jumped up off Rob’s shirt on the floor where she’d been sleeping, and ran under the futon.

Rob managed to keep from dropping his mug on the laptop, but coffee spilled on his hand. As he shook his fingers, droplets of coffee swirled off around the room. He picked up the lens off the floor and placed it deliberately on the counter. Turning to look at her, he growled, “No. I am
not
some type of robot.”

Tracy pulled the sheet up to her chin. “I...I didn’t mean that. Sometimes I say things without thinking.”

“And because you’re
you
.” He waved his hand vertically, indicating the length of her body. “You can get away with it.” Shaking his hand again, he moved to the sink and poured the coffee down the drain.

“That’s not true!”

Rob turned and leaned back on the counter, waving the mug as he spoke. “I had this all figured out. We do a few screen layouts every night and no problem. But no—you refuse to work and spend your time going out with Mr. Gorgeous Trout Guy. And then...and
then
you have the great idea to stay up all night. I
knew
that wouldn’t work. I can’t deal with no sleep.”

“But we finished the job. We did it!”

He turned back to face the sink. “And then I blew it because I was too tired to think straight.” The muscles in his back tensed and he threw the coffee mug into the sink. It made an ear-splitting cracking noise as it shattered. Putting his hand over his eyes, he bowed his head. “It was stupid to think this would ever work.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to go.” He walked over and crouched down next to the laptop on the floor. After slapping the lid closed, he began ripping the cords off the back. “The work e-mails I got were worse than the note from Ben. When I go back to my real life, it looks like I’ll have to go to Iowa, then Oklahoma, then Nebraska.”

“You have to go to
Iowa
?”

“Yes. Iowa.” He stood up, holding the laptop. “Normally, I try not to think too much about work. Usually, I just blow things up.”

“What?”

Rob pointed at the pile of boxes that contained the various components of his personal computer that he’d brought from home. “Video games. When I’m not working, I sit at home and blow things up. It’s more socially acceptable to play video games in my dreary apartment than to throw things. I wired up my computer so it’s attached to my huge TV. Blowing up stuff is better than spending too much time thinking about my job. But this place is so small, I can’t even set up my computer.” He shoved the pile of Tracy’s clothes off the boxes, so they fell on the floor. Slamming the laptop on top of the stack of boxes, he said, “And now my computer seems to be your new laundry basket. Don’t you
ever
put anything away?”

Tracy twisted the sheet in her hands. “Shouldn’t you be careful with the laptop?”

“It’s ruggedized. That’s the word they use for laptops you can use in harsh environments. Like North Dakota in January, for example.” His shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes. “Which is only slightly worse than Nebraska in November.”

“I guess I didn’t realize how much this meant to you.”

“I know. I tried not to get my hopes up. But you weren’t the only one with fantasies of quitting your job.”

She got up off the futon and stood in front of him. “I have got to get ready for work. I’m going to be late. Please don’t leave.”

Shaking his head, he bent to pick up his glasses. “I have to fix these.”

Tracy went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. She got in and began scrubbing shampoo into her hair vigorously as tears streamed down her cheeks. What just happened there? Was Rob just going to give up, leave, and never see her again? That idea just made her cry harder. She began sobbing, swiped at her face with her hand, and got soap in her eye. He was wrong. She
was
disappointed. And furious. And sad. All at the same time. She definitely didn’t want Rob to leave, never to return. That was too awful to contemplate. But a long-distance relationship was dismal at best, and pointless at worst. The guy was never even at home. She’d never see him again.

Tracy got out of the shower and wiped the condensation off the small mirror. Yikes. Scary. She splashed some cold water on her face and looked again. Not much of an improvement. She still looked like an albino hamster with a bad case of pink-eye. Ugh. She opened the door and went out into the room.

Roxy was curled up next to Rob on the futon, which was back in couch configuration, the sheets neatly folded in a pile. The end of the coffee table was propped up on the paint box and her clothes were off the floor. Maybe he’d thrown them in the closet. Rob’s clothes appeared to be packed away in his luggage. He sat petting the dog with one hand and holding a fresh mug of coffee in the other.

Tracy sat down next to him. All the anger seemed to have drained out of him and he had settled into morose silence. Tracy turned to face him. “I’m sorry. I feel terrible. I don’t want to argue. You only have a couple of days before you have to go back to work. Please stay here. Today, I’ll see if I can get some time off.”

“I don’t see the point. I should just go back to work. They’re getting my flights set up. I should go home.”

She touched his arm and felt him flinch. “That’s a lot of miles. Why not just enjoy your last days of vacation?”

“I have racked up enough frequent-flyer miles, going to all these networking jobs, that I could take a free trip pretty much anywhere. Except I never do.”

Tracy took his hand. “Just stay, then. Stop by the clinic at three. I’ll make sure I’m done.”

“All right.” He waved toward the coffee table. “I’ll go to the hardware store and see if I can find something to fix that.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’d be happy to take some of those frequent-flyer miles off your hands this winter if you’d like to take me to the Caribbean.”

He sighed deeply and took her in his arms. “We’ll see.” He kissed her gently. “If you actually still feel that way a few months from now, we’ll talk.”

At the clinic, Tracy had a lot of time to think because there weren’t many appointments. She spent most of the day monitoring the anesthesia machine while Dr. Cassidy spayed and neutered animals.

The vet looked up from her stitches. “You sure are quiet today.”

“I think I had a fight with Rob.”

Dr. Cassidy snipped off a thread. “Don’t you know?”

“Yes. I guess it was a fight. I said some things I shouldn’t have. But mostly I think we were both just mad and sad because he found out we didn’t get the web-site contract. He’s more upset than I thought.”

“Well, it sounded like there was a lot of competition.” The vet pointed at the anesthesia machine with her needle.

Tracy leaned over and adjusted a dial. “I suppose. He’s going to be traveling for work for ages. I’m not even sure when I’ll see him again.”

“At least you have a couple of days off. Maybe you can figure something out.”

At three, Rob walked through the door. He half-smiled in a melancholy way. Tracy bit her lower lip as her heart did a little flip-flop in her chest. Not only did she not want him to leave now; she didn’t want him to leave
ever
. She had fallen in love with him. That was the last thing she’d ever expected. Kat was right—these things didn’t happen on a timetable. Hoping that Dr. C was still busy in the back room, she ran over, put her arms around him, and gave him a passionate kiss. “Let’s go. I want to show you a place that’s not in any of the guidebooks.”

He looked startled and smiled for real this time. Holding out his keys, he said, “Wanna drive?”

With a whoop, Tracy grabbed the keys and ran out the door.

He followed her out to the car. “I guess that’s a
yes
.”

Tracy drove out to the peninsula on the lake near where Ben Walsh lived. She took a side road, and at the end of the pavement she stopped the car. “We have to walk from here.”

Rob got out and looked up at the canopy of trees. “This is beautiful.”

“We haven’t gotten to the good part yet. Technically, it’s private property, but the owner has known that kids come up here for years. It’s one of those things where if no one does anything stupid to damage the place, he’s fine with it. So far no one has, and he hasn’t gated it off.”

They walked down a trail that ended at a huge rock outcropping. Tracy started climbing up the first boulder, following along a well-worn path through the rocky crags. Rob followed, looking around. They continued to ascend the path. Tracy was getting tired, but she knew it would be worth it. At the top, she moved aside so Rob could get through the last craggy pass.

He stepped out onto a flat granite slab that jutted out over the lake about three-hundred feet above the water. “Whoa. That’s incredible.”

Tracy took his hand. “I know. This is my favorite place in Alpine Grove. Come on. There’s a place over here where the rock is smooth and curved, almost like a chair. I like to sit at the edge, dangle my feet, and look out across the water.”

They stood next to each other near the edge of the rock, gazing at the panoramic lake and mountain landscape. The lake stretched for miles in front of them pristine and silent, dotted with a few small islands. Along the shoreline other outcroppings of rocks sloped toward the water. A few clearings for houses were interspersed among the vast swaths of forest. An eagle flew overhead, the sound of its wings breaking the stillness. Tracy took off her shoes and sprawled on her back. She scooted down toward the edge, so she could swing her legs back and forth, letting her bare feet dangle in the light autumn breeze.

Rob took off his shoes, laid down next to her, and held her hand. “Thanks for bringing me here. You’re right; the guidebooks definitely didn’t mention this.”

“They never do.”

She pulled her feet in from the ledge and sat cross-legged, looking at his profile. Leaning over, she pulled off his glasses and peered into his eyes. “I need to talk to you.”

Rob raised his eyebrows. “I think you are.”

“Very funny.” She laid the glasses next to the shoes and turned back to him. “I’m serious. You said that I didn’t really look at all the options when I ditched college. Because I didn’t really care. And maybe I didn’t. Maybe I didn’t care about getting the web site thing enough either. I mean, more money would be nice. Not wading through barf and dog hair would be cool too. But here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if we didn’t get the job because I screwed up or because you aren’t a good salesperson. What does matter is that I do
not
want you to leave and never see you again.”

He sat up. “Really? Are you sure? You mean that?”

“Yes, that’s something I truly care about.” She leaned to kiss him. “We need to look at the issues and possible solutions.”

“Okay. This sounds very organized.” He pulled his own feet in from the edge and sat cross-legged to face her, so their knees were touching. “Issue one. You live here. I live in LA, except when I’m in places like scenic Oklahoma.”

“I hate that issue. How much do you like your job?”

“Not that much. But what else would I do? How much do you like your job?”

“Better than you like yours. But what else would I do?” She raised her hands, turning her palms toward the sky. “Oh, and I am basically destitute, except for the money I just got from you. And I have a dog that I can’t leave anywhere, except with Kat. Which I can’t afford on any type of long-term basis.”

“Those are definitely issues.” He scratched his chin and looked thoughtful. “I have an apartment that doesn’t take pets. And it’s in kind of a bad area, anyway. I don’t think you’d want to live there. I never cared that much, since I don’t spend much time at home. But I could move.”

“Is there some other job you could do that doesn’t require you to travel to the far corners of the country?”