The Ashes Diary (11 page)

The thing was, we were surviving, and putting some runs on the board. Anderson came on to replace Broad from the Pavilion end, and I felt more comfortable against him than at Trent Bridge. He was covering the ball with his left hand, his usual practice when he’s bowling reverse swing, but it wasn’t doing as much as it had in Nottingham. I ran one off the face of the bat to third man for four, got on my toes for a cut through cover point, and generally defended him pretty well.

Usman was getting a lot of the strike to Swann, but he was batting really well now, getting away the odd boundary. We got the score up into the 100s, then the 110s – not that the score was paramount, but it eased the pressure to be putting on runs while also defending staunchly.

After drinks, Swann switched to bowl around the wicket to me, hoping to get something going out of the footmarks. But he was bowling enough loose ones for me to either get a single away or hit a four, mainly by getting down the wicket and driving through cover. Usman, at the other end, hauled Swann away to deep mid-wicket for three, and then clipped Anderson neatly away for four.

In the 44th over, when the score was 3/119, Cook brought on Joe Root with his off-spinners. It’s something I’ve often done when a bloke has made a big score with the bat: he feels he can do no wrong, and can jag a wicket with the ball. Uzzy dealt with him okay, though, except for one where they appealed for a catch at slip – another delivery that exploded out of the footmarks at a radical angle without the bat having hit it.

After we’d seen off Anderson, Bresnan was brought back again. He bowled two ordinary balls wide of my off stump that I threw my hands at in a slightly uncontrolled way. One went over slips, and I was eyeing the gap behind point when I inside-edged the next and nearly chopped it onto my stumps. Concentrate!

Root, like Swann, was coming around the wicket to me. Cook put himself at leg slip, and it was fairly obvious that they would try to aim at or outside my leg stump. I knew that was how they wanted to get me out. Root had put his first ball to me in that spot, and I went back and turned it around the corner for a single. When he tossed it up there again, I should have played back, not forward, but in a lazy moment, I selected the wrong shot and glanced it off the front foot – straight to Cook.

I bowed over my bat, disappointed beyond belief. We’d fought so hard, and here it was me letting the side down. Again.

Usman was out in Root’s next over. You hate it when a part-timer takes wickets, because it gives the fielding side a lift and a laugh and it shows that you haven’t placed a high enough price on your wicket. I wouldn’t say that about Usman, who batted tremendously well, but I will about myself. Just lazy.

The lower order, as usual, put up some resistance. Smith and Agar were out to what looked like speculative decisions from the third umpire, but it’s a cop-out to blame the DRS and I won’t do it. We weren’t lucky, but we weren’t good enough to make our own luck. At the end of the day, Jimmy Pattinson and Ryan Harris stuck around to make the English come back tomorrow, but the play was extended and a couple of balls before the end, Jimmy was last man out.

It’s hard to swallow back your disappointment at these moments, but as captain I have to press on. Matt Cenin, our media liaison, took me to the Nursery end to have a press conference, which I can’t possibly enjoy after a loss.

As captain, though, I’m the team’s public face, and our creed of keeping the highest standards applies to media duties as much as everything else. I was asked some interesting questions, as usual, some about the quality of our batting. I said: ‘You learn defence at the age of ten. Some of the best innings I’ve seen are Test centuries off 350 balls. I don’t want people to not back their natural instincts, but when you’re playing good opposition there will be tough times. You need your defence to get through that.’ That’s no different from what we’ve been telling the boys. It’s just a matter of putting it into action consistently. There’s a lot of talk about how Twenty20 cricket is affecting batsmen’s technique and concentration, but I don’t think that applies to any Australian Test cricketers. That said, there’s no dodging the main issue, which is that we batsmen must hold ourselves accountable for what’s happened. ‘We’re letting our bowlers down by not putting enough runs on the board,’ I said.

As usual, I was asked how much it hurt to lose. I don’t really know what to say. You can’t put it into words. You try to think of another way of saying essentially the same thing. I said, ‘It hurt me just as much when I was a player, not captain. You play to win. I was lucky to start my career in a great Australian team, and winning was a habit that I became accustomed to. I don’t want that to change.’

I was told that the last Australian captain to lose six straight Test matches was Kim Hughes, who resigned in tears in 1984. The questioner, John Townsend from
The West Australian
, said, ‘I presume that’s not going to happen.’ I cut in with a throwaway line – ‘Presume nothing!’ – which gave everybody a lighter moment, and sure, who knows what the future holds? But I’d never known of that stat, and I’m certainly not about to quit as captain.

I understand that as captain I’m accountable for the team’s results. So if we continue to play the way we’re playing, and if there’s somebody better to captain Australia, replacing me is a decision for Cricket Australia to make. I’m not thinking about that, though. I’m thinking about how to make more runs and help the team win. Every day I’m thinking about how I can score more runs. If I’m dropped as captain or a player, I’ll deal with that at the time, but I’m trying not to think about it.

Monday 22 July.
London. Afternoon.

Today, what was meant to be the fifth day of the Lord’s Test match, was a day off. For me right now, a ‘day off’ means a day of treatment. I started with a session on the MedX machine and some physio work from Alex, and later a massage from Grant Baldwin. Grant, by the way, won Boof’s pink jacket for the ‘one-percenters’ at Lord’s, while Rhino Harris wore the cream blazer for man of the match. My back’s a bit stiff and sore. It felt really stiff yesterday before we went back out into the field, and after batting it was still sore. It’s not only my back, either. I’ve spent much of the day lying on my bed with three icepacks on my body: on my ribs, my left shoulder and on my left hip.

I’ve found it hard to switch my mind off. I had a drink with some mates last night, and it was good to be brought out of myself and have a laugh, but when I’m on my own or in treatment, it’s hard to escape the harsh truth. Losing six Tests is obviously a record I don’t want to be part of. I’ll be doing everything in my power to make sure it’s not seven in a row.

Any time you lose it hurts. The way we play, we’ll win games and lose games. The hardest thing to accept is how often we’re not winning. For myself, my prime responsibility to the team is scoring runs. I want to go to Hove to play our three-day match against Sussex this week. I need more time in the middle, and want to score some runs to take confidence to Old Trafford. I’m accountable for my poor shot selection in both innings here at Lord’s. This team expects me to convert starts into a good score. I do believe we’re good enough to win this series. I want to give the team confidence and score a lot more runs than I have so far.

When I get low like this, it helps to talk to Kyly and my family. Dad’s over his knee replacement, and is back home on the couch watching plenty of Test cricket. He doesn’t miss a ball, and is sending me messages every day. All my close family know how much I hate not performing as well as I want, so they’re offering every encouragement. It does help.

Monday 22 July.
London. Night.

We’ve just come back from team drinks and dinner, where the wives and partners were welcome, and it was good to see everyone in good spirits. But I also just got the news that James Pattinson has a stress fracture in his back and has been pulled out of the series. We’re hoping that he can be rested and managed so that he’s ready for the Australian summer.

Jimmy will be around the group through Sussex and Old Trafford, and then he’ll fly home out of Manchester. I really feel for him. Things haven’t gone to plan for him, with some good spells alternating with frustrating ones. Most of all, as part of the batting group, I feel responsible for a situation where he’s had to bowl every day of the series. We just haven’t batted long enough to give him and the other seamers a rest. I’m just gutted for him.

Tuesday 23 July.
Brighton.

We’ve driven down to Brighton, to stay at the beachfront Hilton Brighton Metropole Hotel – a nice change of scenery, and refreshing for all us Aussies who like the coast. We’re lighter in number than usual, as four of the support staff – plus Chris Rogers, Ryan Harris, Shane Watson and Peter Siddle – have stayed in London. Darren allowed them to stay and freshen up and do some training there. Some of them will head to Sussex to join us in the next couple of days, while others will go straight to Manchester and meet us there.

I’m struggling with pain of more than one kind. For six or seven days now, I’ve had a persistent pain in my left hip. This morning before getting on the bus, I had a cortisone injection in my hip joint. It had better improve. At the moment, I can’t feel my left quad, so it’s awkward walking around. I’ve also still got some back soreness from the Lord’s Test match. Being hunched over at slip for long periods has stirred it up. In the next few days, I have to allow my body to recover so I can get back on the park for the Third Test.

The frustration – with everything – is growing. I don’t mind my body being sore after scoring hundreds. Right now, I’ve got the soreness but not the results.

I keep trying to remind myself that as a leader I have to look beyond the here and now, the waves smashing into us every day. My eyes also have to be focused on the horizon. Rather than getting dragged down by the frustration I’m feeling with this pain on this day, I have to set my mind upon this whole series and getting back into it – and on the future too: to our objective, as a squad, of becoming as good as we can be and regaining our status as number one in the world.

That’s what I’m using to take my mind off the present buffeting.

It’s easier said than done.

6

THE THIRD TEST MATCH

Wednesday 24 July.
Brighton.

I’m not going to play in the game against Sussex, which starts the day after tomorrow. My back is still sore, and a couple of sessions on the MedX machine didn’t leave me pain-free. That machine is fast turning into my best mate, but there’s only so much it can do. I just need rest.

The hip is a strange one. I don’t know how it happened, but it’s been with me since the beginning of the tour, and about six days ago it became quite painful. The cortisone helped settle it down. But it’s hard not to conclude that the pains in the hip and back, all around that pelvic area, are related.

Instead of training, I went to the Hove ground with the team and talked to the batsmen individually. Our focus is on how to face Graeme Swann and possibly Monty Panesar at Old Trafford, where traditionally the ball spins more. Going by what we’ve seen already in the series, we can expect a dry pitch prepared to help them. At the nets I spoke with each of the batsmen, and I had a further chat with Phil Hughes back at our hotel on the Brighton seafront.

The essence of it was, everyone’s different, but you have to have your own plan and back it 100 per cent, rain, hail or shine. Work on it at the nets and in your free time. Then, use the county games to work on it further. My plan is firstly to use my feet, but not everyone bats like that, and the last thing we want is for guys to go outside their natural style. Some guys like to go back more; others play straight rather than sweep, and others use the sweep shot. Darren is a great sounding board, having been such a terrific improviser against spin bowling. But even though he used different tactics at different times, he too followed his own plan on any given day.

Darren wanted me to stay in London and freshen up with Chris, Shane, Ryan and Peter, but I wanted to come here to recover, talk to the boys, and get back to batting again. Initially, I wanted to have some time in the middle, but a day or so ago we understood that wasn’t going to happen here.

That said, I’m really enjoying my temporary ‘batting coaching’ role. It’s a nice change to be around the group without the personal pressure of preparing for a match.

Tonight we’ve had another trivia quiz, and the Clarke group didn’t cover itself in glory. Peter Brukner devised a test on ‘The Year 2012’. As this is the part of the tour when the wives and partners are travelling with us, they were invited to have their own tables. A table headed by Brad Haddin and Steve Smith won the contest. My group included Matthew Wade, Phillip Hughes, Jackson Bird, and Matt Cenin. And we finished last.

Well, 2012 was a long time ago, when you have a hard time remembering what happened in the last 24 hours!

Thursday 25 July.
Brighton.

Today, our last day before the Sussex game, was an optional training day. I wasn’t able to train but went anyway, to assist the left-handed batsmen again with their planning on how to face England’s spinners.

Some of the boys have been stirring Boof about his reputation as a player of spin. It’s just been the usual light-hearted cheekiness, but I guess a lot of the team are too young to have seen him play at his peak, so they have to take it on trust! Anyway, he decided to set the record straight by going into the nets and having a bat. He might not be in prime physical shape at the age of 43, but he proved one thing, which is that he could walk out and bat for us next week in the Test match.

The boys unpacked their gear at the ground, and there’s a lot of excitement in the group. Ashton Turner, a teenage off-spinner and right-handed batsman from Western Australia, will make his first-class debut. Ed Cowan is delighted to be captain, in the absence of myself and Brad Haddin. My job, meanwhile, is to run out some Gatorades and give the batsmen gloves when they need them. Of course I came down here intending to play, but I’m actually looking forward to not having nerves in my system.

After training, I went to the barber’s for a haircut. Back at the hotel, we were given a message that we could not leave our rooms or go into the corridors at all, as somebody on our floor had passed away. Our security guard told me it was a 60-year-old man who’d had a heart attack in the bath. It’s extremely sad for his family, and when these things happen, it’s a reminder that what we’re doing, while of the utmost importance to all of us and those who follow cricket, is only a game.

Friday 26 July.
Brighton.

One thing we have done well on this tour has been to make the most of our county games. On a good wicket at Hove, the boys went about their work very professionally after Ed Cowan won the toss and decided to bat.

Ed and Hughesy made a great start, putting on 150 in a little more than two hours, but yet again neither could go on to make a hundred. We’ve talked so much about going on and making big scores, there’s not much more we can say. Both Ed and Phil had that bittersweet feeling of making good half-centuries, but not the three-figure scores they were after.

The other two Test batsmen had pretty good days. Usman Khawaja batted number three, looked good and made 40, until he nicked one off Monty Panesar. Steve Smith was scratchy at the start, but I was very happy with the way he got through that, and he’s there at the end of play on 98 not out. I’m sure he’ll be taking a lot of confidence from that to the next Test match, particularly the way he played spin.

Of the others who had a bat, James Faulkner made a very good 48 before getting out to an uncharacteristic shot, losing concentration and slog-sweeping in the second-last over of the day, and poor Matthew Wade made a duck. I really feel for Wadey. As much as you love being part of an Ashes tour, you really want to play. He finally got his chance today, but unfortunately he cut one off Panesar straight to backward point. Poor bugger.

Meanwhile, I ran Gatorades and Hydrolytes for the boys and sat on the balcony and talked cricket. The boys took the mickey out of me being twelfth man, and enjoyed ordering me about, but I have to say I really enjoyed my downtime.

Saturday 27 July.
Brighton

Right now I’m sitting in the hotel watching the rain fall over the beach and the sea. Surprisingly, it’s quite a nice sight. You wouldn’t normally think this in England, but I haven’t seen rain for a while, and it’s pleasantly relaxing.

The boys managed to fit in about 65 overs of play before the rain finally shut it down.

Feeling good when I woke up, I went to Hove early and got some batting in the nets and slips catching. It was all fine, which is an enormous relief. I was prepared to settle back into my twelfth man duties when I found that I’d been sacked, or something like it. Had I mixed the drinks the wrong way? Gone out with the wrong gloves? No – Boof just thought it was a good idea to send me away from cricket for a couple of hours. He’s the boss, so who am I to argue? So Kyly and I went to the movies and saw Hugh Jackman’s new film,
The Wolverine
. It was good to get my head out of cricket, but as soon as we came out, I found it too difficult to be away from the boys, so I went back to the ground to watch for a couple of hours.

Steve Smith had made his hundred this morning, and Ed Cowan declared. We have Sussex five down at stumps. From what I saw and heard, Jackson Bird was the pick of the bowlers. Mitchell Starc bowled a good first spell, while the spinners and James Faulkner came back well after being hit around a bit early. England had brought James Taylor from Nottinghamshire into the Sussex team to do a Test trial, in case Kevin Pietersen’s calf injury keeps him out of the Old Trafford match. Taylor made an unbeaten 60-odd, but we dropped three or four catches and bowled some front-foot no-balls – so, after the rain came down, our debrief was all about letting out some frustration over those basic errors.

Still, the boys are pretty upbeat and are looking forward to some sunshine and batting time tomorrow.

Sunday 28 July.
Brighton to Manchester.

I’ve just arrived at our hotel in Manchester, having driven up with Brad Haddin and Kyly. I must have done something really bad as twelfth man, because this morning Boof found another reason to get me away from doing that job. He figured that some of us who are not playing in the Sussex match could come up early so we can have an extra day of training tomorrow, when the rest of the team are travelling. Ryan Harris also drove up here with his wife.

We got to watch the first half of the day’s play. Sussex batted on for another 35 overs, allowing Taylor to make his hundred, and then we had 44 overs. Ed Cowan made another good score, and Wadey had some time in the middle with the bat, so I’m pleased for both of them. All in all, the game was a good hit-out for both batsmen and bowlers, and the players who have rested will have made the most of that.

The streets of Manchester are wet, which is making me feel hopeful about the wicket at Old Trafford. We’ve had so many dry ones, so with a lot of rain in the last few days and more forecast, we’re hoping to see something resembling a ‘traditional English wicket’ – if such a thing still exists!

Monday 29 July.
Manchester.

It kept raining today, so the five of us who were here had a pretty easy day with some work in the indoor nets at Old Trafford. I did what I’ll usually do in these conditions, which is to work on technical stuff with my batting, getting my shape and balance right while facing throwdowns and the bowling machine. By the end of the session, I felt I was going much better than at the start.

After lunch, the rest of the squad arrived after a six-and-a-half-hour bus ride from Brighton. It only took us five hours yesterday, so I can see why they were looking so jaded. Apparently they had terrible traffic to cope with. After they arrived, we all did rehab and recovery, and everyone seemed pretty keen to get an early night.

I’m hoping the sun will come out tomorrow; I’m very eager to see some signs of life in this Old Trafford wicket.

Tuesday July 30.
Manchester.

The sun came out, thank God, and we had a really good training session. I was happy to see the boys’ spirits up again after their draining day on the motorway in the bus yesterday. The batsmen had good sessions on the practice nets, and our slips-catching group had a workout. The bowlers got to use some brand-new balls on the pacy, bouncy practice decks, which everyone enjoyed, but once I saw the centre wicket, I knew it would bear no resemblance to what we’re practising on.

Even with all the rain, the wicket is super-dry. It has a little bit of light-brown grass on top, which – how can I say? – looks as if it’s been burnt. There is grass, but when you rub the blades between your fingers it’s very crispy and powdery. It’ll be mown again tomorrow. There are already bare patches, and the rest of the pitch is covered in this strange-looking dead grass.

So, as with the first two Test matches, the best time to bat will be against the new ball and early in the match. I’d say this wicket is the driest of the lot, and with Old Trafford’s reputation for taking spin, I’ll be very surprised if England don’t play two spinners. We’ll see how our selectors feel. I don’t know yet if Rod and Darren are leaning towards one or two spinners. But all of our bowlers, apart from Patto of course, are in contention.

After practice, Hadds and I went to do an appearance for Asics, one of Cricket Australia’s official sponsors and one of my personal sponsors. They’re a good bunch of people and an easy company to deal with, so even though we were required for four hours to do a photo shoot and some media interviews, the afternoon passed enjoyably. Then, for me, it was back to the hotel for room service with Kyly and an early night. It’s time to draw myself in and start my last period of preparation for this Test match. We have to win it to keep our chances alive of getting the urn back. That’s obvious. What I’m wanting to see is a big improvement on our performance, particularly with the bat in the first innings.

Wednesday 31 July.
Manchester.

More rain has come in today, though the forecasts are for decent weather during the Test match. We tried to get as much normal training in as possible at the nets, but were soon chased off by showers.

I’ve thought a lot about how Swann and Root bowled to me at Lord’s, and with another spinning wicket on the cards I expect them to come around the wicket again, using the rough, and placing a leg slip. Today I had Nathan Lyon bowling around the wicket on a leg-stump line, and worked on a different plan. The key, I think, is to stay back as much as possible and not force the issue: just wait on the shorter one and tuck it away. One of the things I love about this game is the constant challenges it throws up, even when you’re in your 95th Test match.

Shane Warne joined the group at training, and I discussed my plans with him. He is so brilliant on the psychological side of spin bowling, providing great insights into the cut-and-thrust between batsman and bowler in the space between the ears. He’s talked to Nathan and Ashton Agar about attitude and how to exude confidence towards the batsman. Nathan is a naturally shy individual and it’s been great for him to hear Shane’s advice on how to overcome that.

Tonight, Kyly and I went for a quick dinner with Shane, talking about the game and the series so far. I was asking him for anything he’s seen in the two matches that can give us an edge. He’s a great friend and I value his opinions. Most of all, what he gives me is an injection of self-belief. When I worry about my game, Warnie is saying, ‘No, mate, you’re creaming them, you’ll make a hundred for sure.’ When it comes from a player and watcher of his quality and experience, I believe him. I don’t think I’ve ever come out of a conversation with Warnie where I don’t have a smile on my face and am walking a bit taller, ready to face whatever or whoever. He’s a fantastic mentor and motivator. I wish I could carry that confidence with me every day of my life.

The selectors have made three changes, bringing in David Warner, Nathan Lyon and Mitchell Starc for Phillip Hughes, Ashton Agar and James Pattinson. Hughesy is unlucky, but Davey scored by all accounts a very good 193 against South Africa A and he’s a confidence player, so there’s a possibility that he can really take hold of the game when the bowlers are tired. Nathan has continued to work hard on his bowling while out of the Test team, and I think that with the tuition Shane Warne has been giving him, he’s going to be a new bowler. Starcy won the third seamer’s position ahead of Jackson Bird because we think he can bowl that wicket-taking ball at the start of the innings, and exploit the reverse swing when the shine comes off. His footmarks might also gouge up the turf outside the right-handers’ off stump, providing an opportunity for Nathan.