The Asylum for Fairy-Tale Creatures (4 page)

Mother May I overheard.

“To smile in the face of insanity is to stay sane, my dear,” she replied.

Thread Bear stared for a moment and held Thumbeana by the hand.

“Why is he sewn?” the bear asked, pointing at the guard’s features.

The mother explained, “All our guards have their eyes and ears and mouths sewn tightly closed. To see no mania, to hear no lunacy and to speak no madness. Now come, let me show you your new home. No fear, please—we are here, after all, to cure you.”

The nurse nodded to the guard; in turn the guard grunted, ushering the three along. They passed a wall that looked down to the vast asylum. From the vantage point they could see a labyrinth of walls and buildings, some crumbling with roofs of broken black tiles. While others were stone prisons with monolith walls and barred windows. There were towers and chimneys with smoke lazily rising from them. Above the sky was a clear blue in contrast to the dark black hues of the buildings. Ravens flew in circles. The asylum was a magic porridge pot of lunacy, continually spilling and growing, a hell splitting into the land itself. The girl wondered how long it would be until there was no fairy tale kingdom at all. She spotted the long road they must have travelled, stretching off into the forever ever. As it reached the asylum, however, it was met by the tangled forest of thorns. If one could even escape from here, there would be the thorns waiting for them. Only death grew in that forest and by normal means there was no way through. Red Hood watched far below as the thorns slithered apart allowing a carriage to leave.

The bear had climbed on Thumbeana’s shoulder.

“I’ve never seen so much world.,” it gasped.

“Oh, yes, we have many patients here of all types and species,” Mother May I chirped. “Now come along, let’s see inside.”

Into the asylum the three went: the girl in the red hood, the false child and the possessed bear…

Hickory dickory dock, there was madness around the clock. See the old lady who lived in a shoe, she had so many children; she knew what to do, she sharpened her axe and put them in sacks, then dropped them in a river. She sits rocking here in her cell, calling their names over and over and over again. Atishoo, Atishoo they all fall down and down and down. Three blind mice, Three blind mice, driven mad with lice, they cut off the toes of the farmer’s wife, chased the farmer with a carving knife, here they come to take your life, three blind mice. They squeaked in their cage, gnawing for a way out and farmers’ wives to torment. Jack and Jill buried people on the hill, they said—Jill’s idea, let us put the heads in pails of water. Old Mother Hubbard kept eyeballs in a cupboard in a jar. A jar? Yes, of course a jar. Jack is nimble, Jack is ever quick and Jack chased people with a sharpened stick. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, and ate spiders all day. The Pied Piper, who preferred human prey to rats, with his pipe taken away he sings and claps. Snow White stood in the corner, mumbling to the seven dwarves in her head, her head, her head and her head. Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle the cow cried at the moon, the little dog laughed to see such fun that the dish smashed itself with a spoon. Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry, when the boys came out to play he happily made them die for the day.

Tell me a story or I’ll cut off your ears, they said. Burn down the house on Drury Lane, four and twenty blackbirds to peck out your eyes. I’ll huff and puff and I blow your house down, the last thing you hear is my bark. So many, so many small things singing and dancing, waiting in the dark.

“Ah, you are awake,” said the voice from nowhere.

The girl opened her eyes. She found herself shackled by her arms and legs, lying on what felt like a metal table. She shook and fought, but her panic and shakes were for naught. The girl could move neither hair nor head.

“Red Riding Hood, that is what you called yourself—do you remember why?” the voice asked.

The only light was a buzzing, flickering bare bulb. It swung on a bare wire that disappeared into the dark. The voice belonged to a man and was distantly familiar. It was muffled.

“Do you remember that name?”

“Yes,” the girl replied.

“Why? Why did you choose that name?”

“Because of the red from Grandma, and…”

“And?”

“And the wolf.”

“No, not the wolf. There was no wolf, was there?” The voice sounded irritated.

“That’s not true,” the girl pleaded. “I saw it. I saw what it did.”

“Think, girl. I have been treating you for once upon a time ; events may seem muddled to you. But remember back. You are very stubborn. Your delusion is very, very strong. You need to realise that there was no wolf and then I can release you. Your delusion will be gone. You will be free.”

The girl sobbed an angry, frustrated sob. Had fate not given her enough suffering? Losing a father to waste, a grandma to death and a mother taken by uncontrollable sadness, was this not enough? The girl’s memory did not reveal the secrets of the room or what treatment she had received. The voice was familiar and, oh, how tempting its offer. But every instinct in her body was telling her not to trust it.

“I went into the woods, to Grandma’s house.”

“Yes?”

“I remember the cottage, so quiet, so dark.”

“And?”

“I crept in gently and found Grandma in bed.”

“Is that when you took her life?” The voice dripped with anticipation.

The girl took a deep breath and screamed at the top of her lungs: “It was a wolf and it wasn’t a wolf all at once.”

“How disappointing.” And from out of the shadow stepped the voice. It wore a gas mask and peered at the girl through glass sphere eyes. The mask nodded to something beyond the girl. Her head was caught between two gloved hands. Her head was strapped to the table and a bit was tied to her mouth. A humming noise filled the air and the hairs on her head and arms tickled. Someone applied wet rags to either temple that were so cold she shuddered as each was applied.

“Amazing piece of technology, my machine. I invented it myself,” the mask said proudly. “It harnesses electricity, which seeks out the madness running around inside you. Now, I am not going to lie—this will hurt. But afterwards you may just be all better.”

The hum grew louder and louder as the girl kept fighting against her bonds, until at the crescendo of the noise electricity was released and, although the feeling was almost indescribable, it was not unlike the girl’s soul shattering, as if it were a glass slipper.

The office of Dr Wilhelm Jacob Grimm was a dingy, crowded place. His large wooden desk was surrounded by towers of parchments, each with scribbles and sketches. There were shelves and bookcases on every wall. Each containing a morbid assortment of brains in jars floating in a green haze. There were shrivelled and shrunken limbs and thick leather-skin-bound books. There were skulls of animals and animal people, each of differing shape and size. The corpse of a dried alligator was suspended by string from the ceiling, watching through hollowed eyes. In pride of place, just behind the doctor’s large velvet red chair, was his glass cabinet. Inside, contained by lock and key, were the prizes taken from the asylum’s guests. A pipe confiscated from the Pied Piper, Rapunzel’s hair—curled in a ball, it slithered now and then. A broken glass slipper next to a broken wand. A spinning-wheel needle, three porridge bowls, one big, one small, one just right. Other trinkets, dancing slippers, pieces of string, a tatty toy monkey, a dried rose, a pail for water, a broken eggshell, all so normal, all so sinister.

The Mother May I led the three into the office. She curtsied to the man in the chair and left, still grinning her horrible grin. The bear held on tighter to the girl and even Thumbeana, who could find fascination in a hillside of corpses, looked nervous after her trip through the asylum. She squeezed the girl’s hand. The girl herself had always been taught to face fear. Her grandma had told her that meeting fear with strength no matter how tiny or small would always bring warmth to cold nerves. She swallowed her fear downwards and held it in her stomach. The guard lurched in front of the door. He had to bend forward to fit into the room and grunted with the effort.

The man sitting in the chair put down his quill. He looked up through tiny spectacles. Being old and wrinkled and looking to be held together by his bones as if his skin was a loose fit, he wore a medical smock that was jet black. When he spoke there was a hiss of chloroform from his mouth.

“I am Dr Wilhelm Jacob Grimm,” said he. “I am the head of the asylum and you are here because, whether you agree or not, you are ill and I will cure you.”

The three were silent as the doctor peered at them. His eyes were piercing, as if he was trying to spot the madness attributed to them.

“Now—” the doctor checked his note “—Thumbeana, you and Thread Bear will be taken to the animated objects wing. It is where we keep the haunted toys and unreal children. Your treatment will begin forthwith.”

Before either could protest the guard scooped the two in his huge arms and pulled them away. They dangled over his forearms as he turned to leave. The girl stepped to follow but Dr Grimm tut-tutted and shook a bony finger; she held her ground.

“Do not fret—we will be just fine. I want to be cured. I want to be real,” said Thumbeana. Thread Bear simply waved. With that they were gone.

“So, tell me, the hood—why are you still wearing it?”

The girl hadn’t noticed. It was filthy and red from the house in the wood.

“I don’t know,” she replied.

Grimm picked up his goose-feather quill, dipped it in a pot of ink and made a few notes.

“I think,” he said while still writing, “I think if you still wear the hood, you will believe your wolf was real.”

“He was real,” the girl replied, a little taken aback.

“A wolf pretending to be a man pretending to be a grandma? Unlikely, isn’t it?”

The girl’s knees felt weak; they buckled slightly and she felt her skin pale. Was it possible? Was the truth more horrible than her truth? The words echoed in her head. “All the better to see you with…” Was it from her lips?

“Is something wrong, dear?” Grimm asked.

All the better to hear you with.

All the better to eat you with.

The girl’s head spun and darkness called to her, which she went falling into like a lamb to the jaws of a wolf.

“Oh, dear,” the doctor commented. “Must I turn on my machine again?”

Doctor Grimm’s notebook: Rapunzel

There were once a man and a woman who had long in vain wished for a child. At length the woman hoped that God was about to grant her desire. These people had very little but from the window at the back of their house a splendid garden could be seen, which was full of the most beautiful flowers and herbs. It was, however, surrounded by a high wall, and no one dared to go into it because it belonged to a sorceress, who had great power and was dreaded by the entire world. One day the woman became sick and began to die.

“What aileth thee, dear wife?” the man asked in grief.

“Ah,” she replied, “if I can’t get some of the herbs which are in the garden behind our house, to eat, I shall die.”

The man, who loved her, thought, Sooner than let thy wife die, bring her some of the healing herbs thyself—let it cost thee what it will.

In twilight of evening, he clambered down over the wall into the garden of the sorceress, hastily clutched a handful of herbs, and took it to his wife. She at once made herself a salad of it, and ate it with much relish. She, however, liked it so much, so very much, that the next day she longed for it three times as much as before. If he was to have any rest, her husband must once more descend into the garden. In the gloom of evening, therefore, he let himself down again; but when he had clambered down the wall he was terribly afraid, for he saw the sorceress standing before him.

“How canst thou dare,” said she with an angry look, “to descend into my garden and steal my herbs like a thief? Thou shalt suffer for it!”

“Ah,” answered he, “let mercy take the place of justice. I only made up my mind to do it out of necessity. My wife would have died without the magic they contained.”

Then the sorceress allowed her anger to be softened, and said to him, “If the case be as thou sayest, I will allow thee to take away with thee as much herbs as thou wilt, only I make one condition. Thou must give me the child which thy wife will bring into the world; it will be well treated, and I will care for it like a mother.” The man in his terror consented to everything, and when the little one came to them the sorceress appeared at once, gave the child the name of Rapunzel, and took it away with her.

Rapunzel grew into the palest and most withdrawn child for, when she was twelve years old, the sorceress shut her into a tower, which lay in a forest, and had neither stairs nor door, but quite at the top was a little window. When the sorceress wanted to go in, she placed herself beneath this and cried,

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down thy hair to me.”

Rapunzel had neglected and matted, yet strong, long hair, as steady as rope, and when she heard the voice of the sorceress she unfastened her braided tresses, wound them round one of the hooks of the window above, and then the hair fell twenty ells down, and the sorceress climbed up by it. After a year or two, it came to pass that the King’s son rode through the forest and went by the tower. Then he heard a song, which was so charming that he stood still and listened. This was Rapunzel, who in her solitude passed her time in letting her sweet voice resound. The King’s son wanted to climb up to her, and looked for the door of the tower, but none was to be found. He rode home, but the singing had so deeply touched his heart that every day he went out into the forest and listened to it. Once when he was thus standing behind a tree, he saw that the sorceress came there, and he heard how she cried,

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down thy hair to me.”

Then Rapunzel let down the braids of her hair, and the sorceress climbed up to her. “If that is the ladder by which one mounts, I will for once try my fortune,” said he, and the next day, when it began to grow dark, he went to the tower and cried,