The Babbling Brook Naked Poker Club - Book One (24 page)

He finally looked up. “What can I do for
you, Edna?”

“No, Eddie, that’s entirely the wrong
question. The real question is, what can I do for you.”

“And that is?”

“Have you heard the news about Josephine’s
painting?”

“Yeah. Uncle Cal filled me in.” He frowned.
“But he said only key staff members knew.”

“Actually, I think quite a few people
know.”

“What’s it to you?”

“I have a proposition for you.”

“Spit it out then.”

“I think you and I should steal the
painting.”

He sat blinking at me. Then, as if he
couldn’t quite believe what I’d said, he shook his head in a sharp
movement.

I smiled at him. “I know you like to steal
things. And I have it all worked out, you see. I just need a bit of
help. A partner. After all, the painting is probably too large for
me to handle. Besides, you can get into Josephine’s apartment, and
I can’t.”

“Yeah? What is it I need you for?” Sharp as
broken glass, that’s our Eddie.

“What will you do with a
forty-million-dollar painting? Where will you hide it? How will you
keep everyone from knowing you’re the one who took it?”

“F-forty million?”

“Yes, what did you think?”

“Not forty million. That could lead to
serious prison time. “

“Only if we’re caught.” And I had no
intention of letting that happen.

Eddie frowned. “I don’t think it’s a good
idea, Edna. It’s way too risky. Besides, I’m busy right now
. . . with stuff.”

“You haven’t even heard my plan.”

Eddie rolled his eyes in a most hideous
fashion. His bruises have faded—the rumor is he got them from a
woman—but it still looks like he’s wearing eye shadow, and it’s
most unattractive. I waited for him to stop the eye rolling and pay
attention.

“It would be difficult to sell a painting
like that unless we had contacts,” I said.

“Yeah. I get that.”

“I think what we need to do instead is
kidnap it. We hide the painting, and then we demand a ransom.” I’d
seen enough kidnapping stories on television I had no doubts I
could pull it off. I knew all about dye packets and tracking
devices.

Besides, my plan would be simpler than the
usual kidnap plot since we wouldn’t even steal the painting. All we
needed to do was hide it in Josephine’s apartment. Under her bed
was the most obvious choice. Then we would use prepaid cell phones
for the ransom calls, because that’s what smart criminals use.

Once we had the money, we would tell
Josephine where the painting was, and we’d be all set. It’s a
brilliant plan, if I do say so myself.

When I tried to explain all that to Eddie,
he was quite negative about it. “What if it’s too big to fit under
the bed, and what if Josephine wakes up while I’m in her
apartment?”

“I’m sure it’ll fit.” I wasn’t, but there
was no way to check on that ahead of time. We’d simply have to
trust fate. But his second objection did send my brain into
overdrive. “Hmm, as for Josephine waking up, that’s easy. I have
some drugs we can slip into her dessert at dinner. That is, you can
slip them in.”

“And how am I going to know it’s her
dessert?”

“You could take her a special one.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because she did all the work on the
inspiration book. And you want to thank her.”

“What inspiration book?”

“The one for your daughter. You know, the
party, the check? That book.”

“I thought Myrtle did all that.”

“Myrtle raised the money and took all the
credit, but Josephine and Lillian helped with the book.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Well, I don’t know, do I? Nobody consulted
me.” And that was an annoyance I tried to avoid thinking about.
“Anyway, it gives us the excuse we need for a thank-you. Here are
the drugs.”

I fished the container out of my purse with
all the purloined pills. The Ambiens were tiny. I figured four
ought to do it. One would likely be enough, but just in case
Josephine didn’t eat the whole dessert, four was safer.

“You could charm the cook into baking one of
those small cakes, like they do for the birthday parties. Then you
present it to her.”

“How do I get the drugs into it,
though?”

Annoyed at his lack of initiative, I slipped
the Ambiens back in the container. “I have a better idea. You go to
Servatii’s and buy a couple of cream puffs. One for Josephine and
one for Lillian. Then you bring them to me. I’ll add the drugs, and
you do the presentation. Tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“The sooner the better, don’t you
think?”

“Then you’re going to demand a ransom?”

“Yes. In a few days. You better pick up a
couple of those prepaid cell phone thingies.”

“What for?”

I sighed. “For the ransom calls, of course.”
Really, the man was as dense as a fruitcake.

“Where are you going to have them drop off
the money?”

“Don’t you worry about that. I have just the
place. You get the painting stowed under Josephine’s bed, and I’ll
take care of the rest. And Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Be sure you wear gloves.”

I sailed out, quite pleased with myself.

Devi

“Things are going well,” Abigail said at my third appointment with
her. “I’ve been provided copies of the recordings that Detective
McElroy made shortly after the incident, and I’m certain they’ll be
admissible, and that means we should have very little difficulty
winning the case. Still, as I said, it’s good to be prepared. So I
had my investigator check into Mr. Colter’s background, and he
discovered some very interesting information.”

“What’s that?”

“Although his salary is roughly five
thousand a month, my investigator estimates his lifestyle requires
a great deal more. And that supposition is born out by his credit
score and maxed-out credit cards.”

For a moment, my mind was engaged with the
math. Five thousand a month meant Eddie made over $60,000 a year.
Sixty thousand? Really? My salary was $45,000 with a one-year wait
for health-care benefits.

“Suranna?”

“Please, I’m used to Devi now.”

“Yes, of course. Devi. About Eddie, there’s
more.”

As she outlined the “more,” I considered how
scary it was that a person could find out so many details of
another person’s life so quickly and easily. Shuddering at the
thought of how much Josephine was going to be billed, I struggled
to focus.

“Is all this really necessary?”

Abigail shrugged. “Maybe not. But I need a
counter strategy in the event Colter’s attorney should happen to
get hold of the information about William Garrison. And I now know
that the only reason Eddie can afford to bring this suit is because
his attorney is his cousin. Certainly no one else would take
something like this on contingency. It’s likely Eddie’s suing you
both for the nuisance value as well as in hopes of easing his
disastrous financial situation.”

If that was supposed to make me feel more
confident of ultimate victory, it failed completely.

Never underestimate the wile and
viciousness of a cornered dog
was one of my Indiana
grandmother’s admonitions. Clearly, that’s what Eddie was, and
Abigail was correct. We needed to take him very seriously.

Along with Harry and the Chicago
authorities.

“What about . . . Did you find out
if the Chicago police—”

“Nothing yet. But don’t worry. I’m sure we
can get that sorted out.”

Edna

My plan worked even better than I’d hoped.

After a bit of debate, I did cut back to
three Ambien tablets, which I crushed and mixed with a tiny bit of
honey flavored with lemon. I planted most of that mix in the middle
of the cream puff for Josephine and a smaller amount in Lillian’s
puff, just enough to make her feel tired so she’d be ready to go
back to her own apartment after dinner.

Then I’d watched from my vantage point in
the lobby as both Josephine and Lillian ate every bite of their
puffs. When they walked out, I detained Lillian briefly, long
enough to send Josephine on her way by herself.

I then excused myself and followed Josephine
back to her room. She was already tottering by the time she reached
her door. I thought I was going to have to help her, but she
finally managed to unlock the door and step inside.

When the door didn’t close all the way
behind her, I almost danced with glee. After waiting a minute, I
stepped closer and pulled the door open. Slowly, I stuck my head in
and looked around.

Josephine wasn’t in the living room, but the
painting was, hanging right there in plain sight, on the wall. Too
bad it was too large for me to handle by myself.

I must say, for forty million, the painting
didn’t show me much. Neither did the rest of Josephine’s
furnishings, all that modern Scandinavian stuff that I simply can’t
abide. Give me a nice dark walnut or mahogany any day.

The whole time I was halfway leaning through
Josephine’s doorway, I heard no sounds of her moving around.
Smiling to myself, I stepped back and carefully settled the door
near the latch, but not too near. Then I went to tell Eddie there
would be no need for him to get hold of a keycard. Josephine’s door
being unlatched made our little painting caper even easier.

I could tell Eddie was pleased when I told
him that. It meant it wouldn’t be until we collected the ransom
that we’d be on the hook for any sort of criminal charge. I hurried
back to my apartment, smiling with anticipation of the next
steps.

Josephine

At Monday evening’s dinner, something very peculiar happened. At
the end of the meal, Eddie came to our table and presented Lill and
me each with a cream puff, and he thanked us for all our hard work
putting together the inspiration book.

I’ve never liked the man, and I was briefly
tempted to mash the cream puff in his face. After all, he attacked
Devi and now he’s suing her.
And there is no Sara.

I think Lill sensed my reaction. She gave me
one of her looks and then thanked him for the treats.

“I quite agree with you, Josephine,” she
said after Eddie walked away. “That man is no good. But, oh my, I
do love cream puffs.”

She took a bite and moaned in pleasure. It
was a very un-Lill-like thing for her to do.

“If you don’t want to eat that, Josephine,
you can give it to me.”

“Oh no, you don’t.” I picked up the puff and
took a large bite.

Lill was right. It was delicious, with an
unusual lemony tang to the filling, and my intention to take only a
bite or two was quickly overcome. I ate the whole thing.

Cream puffs duly dispatched, Lill and I left
the dining room a few minutes later. I opened my mouth to invite
Lill over, but a yawn prevented me from speaking.

As we entered the lobby, Edna came over and
asked Lill a question. Feeling sleepy, I said good night and left
them visiting as I walked back to my apartment.

The next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes
to bright light, and Devi and Lill were bending over me with
worried expressions.

I struggled to sit up and discovered I was
lying on my bed, although I had no memory of how I got there. I was
fully dressed and even had shoes on, and I was on top of the
covers. Exactly as if I had passed out. It was most
disconcerting.

“Thank goodness,” Lill said. “It’s one thing
for you not to answer your phone, Josephine, but when you weren’t
at lunch and then you ignored my knock, I was really worried.”

“Lunch? What time . . . um
. . . day is it?” I asked, trying to bring their faces
into focus.

“One thirty in the afternoon on Tuesday,”
Devi said.

That meant I’d been asleep . . .
nineteen hours?

“You didn’t have a stroke, did you?” Lill
said. “Smile at me.”

“No, I did not have a stroke.”

But for sure, something had happened to me,
and from the fuzziness in my head, it had to be something to do
with a drug.

“Is the painting still there?”

“Let me check,” Lill said.

She left the room but returned immediately.
“It worked. It’s missing.”

“Good,” I said.

“Good?” Devi said. “What are you two up to
now?”

“Nothing. We aren’t up to anything.”

“But a painting is missing? That doesn’t
sound like nothing.” She took a turn looking in the other room. “Do
you know where it is?” She was giving us both the stink-eye.

“We have no idea, do we, Lill?”

“No,” Lill agreed.

“But we have a pretty good idea who does
know,” I told Devi.

She narrowed her eyes. “You set a trap.”

“Such a smart girl,” I said to Lill.

“Much smarter than that Eddie creature,” she
agreed.

“Although that Eddie creature did manage to
seduce me with a cream puff.” And I did feel just a bit annoyed
about that, despite the long, rather lovely sleep.

Since Jeff’s visit and the subsequent
setting of our trap, I’d been propping a chair against my bedroom
door and keeping an emergency cord handy. Although that had made me
feel reasonably safe, my sleep had still been restless.

“You think you’ve been drugged?” Devi said,
sticking to the main point.

“Highly likely.” I sat up, but that made
black dots dance in front of my eyes. “Maybe I better just lie here
for a while. Would you give Mac a call, Devi?”

“If you’ve been drugged, don’t you think the
nurse ought to take a look at you?” Devi said.

“And what do you expect her to do? I’m fine
now. Just a bit muzzy in the head. But it’s obviously wearing off,
whatever it was.”

“Please. Just let her take a look.”

“I’m fine. But if it will make you feel
better—”