Authors: Lisa Drakeford
And there, in the middle of her seventeenth birthday party, with a groaning person locked in her bathroom and music still reverberating around the house, Olivia truly means it: Jonty Newman will never touch her like that again. And if he does â then that will be the end.
She has to get Ben. He's lying on the sofa downstairs staring with glazed eyes at two boys who are laughing over a picture on a phone. She's not sure of their names. She shakes his shoulder. âBen, I need you upstairs.'
He's sluggish and unwilling to tear his eyes away, but unsettled by her tone he sways into a standing position. âWhat's up?'
âSomeone's locked themselves in the bathroom.'
He takes a deep breath, âOK.'
Olivia checks her phone nervously. âMum and Dad'll be back soon. C'mon.'
They make their way up the stairs. They stand by the bathroom door â there's another low moan. They look at each other.
âWho is it?'
Olivia shrugs. âDunno, but I've not seen Nicola in ages. I'm worried about her. I wonder if it's her.'
âNicola, is that you?' Ben calls.
Another moan, almost a growl. Olivia's heart thuds. She sees Alice looking anxious through the open bedroom door.
âNicola â can you open the door? Let me in babe.'
There's no reply.
âNicola!' She raps sharply.
Still nothing apart from that low moaning again. It prickles the back of her neck.
âWe're going to have to break in,' she mutters to Ben. Best not think about her parents.
Ben squares his shoulders and jerks his weight against the door. It doesn't budge. He shoves against the wood again and still it doesn't move. But the moaning has notched up a level. It's got to be Nicola behind the door. And Olivia is supposed to be her best friend. What on earth is she doing in there?
âHere, let me help,' she says.
âAfter three.'
Ben and Olivia heave their bodies against the door at the same time and at last there's a splintering sound. After their second thrust, the thin wooden panel breaks and the lock gives way. They jostle their way into the small, hot room and peer at the sight before them.
It's not one they're expecting.
It
is
Nicola in there. But not the Nicola they're used to seeing. This Nicola is bent over, her head and shoulders over the bath. Her bum high. Moaning
and
wailing now.
At first Olivia thinks she's being sick. Throwing up in the bath.
But like the growl earlier, there's something animal-like about her position. This is so much more than drunken vomiting.
Olivia kneels down next to the quivering figure. âNic ⦠Nic, you OK?'
Nicola shakes her head. Her cheeks are flushed high and there's a slick of sweat on her skin. She turns to her oldest friend. âIt hurts. It feels like I'm dying.'
Olivia places her hand on the small of Nicola's hot back. They're both shaking now. âWhere, babe? Where does it hurt?'
It's really hot in the bathroom. Nicola grabs her stomach. And Olivia notices with another sharp heart-thud that there is a large dome-shaped bulge there. There's a strange wetness all around Nicola's legs too.
âOh my God.' She mutters under her breath. âYou'reâ'
But she's interrupted by Ben. âI think we need an ambulance,' he says. He's not slurring or swaying any more.
Olivia feels her eyes widen.
I can't believe this
.
One hundred questions sprint through her mind, racing after each other, chasing their answers, weaving knots. How can this be? How can her best friend be pregnant without her
knowing? Did Nicola even know? How the hell can she be about to give birth in the bathroom on a bath mat which is still damp from the shower she'd taken just a few hours earlier? Why hadn't Nicola told her? She hadn't even realized she was having sex. She swallows that thought but still feels ⦠betrayed. Then she feels guilty because here's Nicola on all fours against her bath, looking like she's about to die. In the end it doesn't matter who knew what. In the end it's not important. She shakes herself and turns to Ben. He's standing by the radiator looking confused and slightly green.
âGo and phone for one. You get better signal in the lounge. Tell them â¦' and here she grimaces and flicks her eyes over Nicola's bulge. âTell them she's having a baby. And Ben,' she yells as he's walking out the door, âmake sure Alice stays where she is.'
When Ben has bolted out of the bathroom, when she's sat back down next to her friend who appears momentarily free of pain, she slides her back against the side of the bath and looks at Nicola's face. Her mascara has run and there are lines of pain etched either side of her mouth. Her skin is a pasty shade of cream with a sheen of sweat covering every pore.
There's a silence as they look at each other. It's a long gaze which ends when tears well up in Nicola's eyes and spill out on to her cheeks. âI'm so sorry, Livvy.'
âFor what?' Olivia's not sure.
Nicola leans back on her heels. âThisâ' But a dart of pain
breaks up her face and she lets out a screeching wail which sends shivers down Olivia's spine. This is for real. There's no getting away from it. She rubs Nicola's back which has reared up again.
âOoow.' Nicola yells, and starts to sob.
What do I do?
Olivia closes her eyes and wills the ambulance to arrive. She's not sure she can do this. She can't even watch
24 Hours in A&E
without squirming. To have the real thing going on right in front of her is suddenly terrifying. She feels completely helpless. What she thinks is a contraction subsides and Nicola slumps into a ball on the floor.
Olivia grabs a flannel from the corner of the sink and holds it under the cold tap. She squeezes out the water and mops her friend's exhausted face. She looks about twelve years old.
âHow the hell did this happen?' Olivia whispers as she wipes her cheeks.
Nicola opens her eyes but doesn't look at Olivia. âOh God, I don't know.' Her voice is shaky and she squeezes her lips together in a grimace. âI guess I was pretty stupid about nine months ago.'
âWhy didn't you say?' More wiping.
Nicola shakes her head and curls around her bulge. âBecause I was ashamed, I suppose.' And here she at last looks up at Olivia, âI didn't know I was pregnant, Livvy. Honest. I didn't know this was going to happen.' She closes her eyes as they both begin to feel another contraction developing at the very heart of Nicola's body. âMy periods have been messed up ever since I went on that diet. You know that.'
The last words are said in another animal screech as the pain fills her body like a bolt of lightning. Only this time there's something dark in Nicola's face. Something so dreadful that an electric shock of panic flicks through Olivia.
âOh God. I feel like I want to ⦠push.' Nicola's breath is stale and her gasps are short.
Olivia feels her heart hammering and her palms slime up with sweat. This can't be happening. Surely the ambulance will arrive any minute now? Surely she won't have to deliver her best friend's baby in the bathroom at her own birthday party?
A bang on the door makes her almost laugh with relief. She rushes to the door and throws it open expecting to see uniformed paramedics holding strange, useful instruments which will help Nicola in the nick of time.
Only it's not. Instead it's Jonty and Ben, their faces confused and, in Ben's case, pretty anxious. Jonty just looks curious and grabs on to the door to poke his head round. âWhat's going on?' His voice is thick with drink. He's obviously just followed Ben upstairs.
Nicola's breathing and gasping gets louder.
Olivia doesn't know why but she doesn't want Jonty in the room. Even Ben might feel like an intruder. But she's going to have to take charge and she needs someone to help. âJonty, listen, can you do me a favour? Can you get rid of everyone?' She jerks her head behind her, towards her wailing best friend. âI don't want the medics to walk through a party when they get here.' She glances at her phone. âOh God, my parents
are going to be back any minute.'
Jonty screws up his face. âWhat's the matter with her?'
Olivia pushes hair from her eyes. âShe's having a baby.'
Jonty's eyes practically burn with disbelief. He takes a step back and his mouth clamps shut. There's something else then. Something dark and complicated going on behind his eyes. But right now Olivia can't think about him. He backs out of the bathroom, his face a crumple of confusion. âHow long did they say they'd be?' she asks Ben.
Ben actually gulps three times before he is able to speak. âTen minutes.'
Oh God
. Olivia grabs him by the wrist. âThen we might have to do this on our own,' she hisses. âNic says she feels it coming.'
Ben's eyes widen, but Olivia has to give him credit; he inhales quickly and enters the hot bathroom. The first thing he does is open the window.
With shaking hands Olivia grabs a towel and points to the wet flannel on the floor. âUse that to cool her face.'
âOK.' Ben looks scared but sits on the edge of the bath and mops Nicola's forehead.
Steeling herself, Olivia moves towards her friend's legs. Her hands shake as she peels back the sopping leggings; as she loosens underwear; as she observes misshapes and swellings. âNic, I'm just going to ⦠take a look.'
Where are the ambulance sirens when you need them?
Nicola screams.
Ben's words are indecipherable but his tone is just right.
There is no more music seeping through the bathroom floor now. Just the front door opening and closing again, and a few angry voices. Olivia can see the weird ripple of contractions going through Nicola's muscles. And something like the top of a head starts to appear between her legs. Olivia sits on her haunches and watches. It's like she's in a daze. Paralysed to the spot. It is the scariest, most panicky thing to watch in the whole wide world. But totally, amazingly mesmerizing.
She strokes Nicola's back and hears herself saying nice things, telling her to keep going, keep pushing. All the while she's staring at the small, dark head nudging itself further and further into their lives.
Only once does she take her eyes off it. And here she meets Ben's frightened gaze, his eyes drenching hers with encouragement and perhaps a bit of pride.
In a dream, in a trance, in a kind of fog, a small pink shoulder forces its way out. Olivia moves closer; maybe she needs to support the head? It seems so much heavier and bigger than before, a warm, wet, living thing which fits perfectly in Olivia's palm. She can feel a pulse with her fingertips.
Incredible
.
Nicola lets rip a howl which seems to come from every square inch of her body.
There is another sound then which will stay with Olivia for at least a decade to come: a wet, tearing sound as the whole body comes out.
And then there is a baby.
I'm holding a newborn baby
. A damp, warm, blood-stained, sticky thing, with a mouth which
opens and closes like a goldfish.
But a baby all the same.
And a silence. An incredulous and hot silence in which Olivia looks at Ben who's looking at Nicola who's looking at the baby in Olivia's hands.
âOh my God,' someone whispers.
âWhat is it?' Nicola whispers slumping into a heap on the floor.
âIt's a baby, Nicola. A freakin' baby.' Olivia can't stop staring now. The shock of this warm, living creature in her hands is immense.
Ben giggles from the side of the bath then clamps his fingers over his mouth. He speaks through them. âShe means what sex is it?'
âOh,' Olivia looks quickly, catching Ben's giggle, feeling embarrassed. âIt's a girl.'
Ben clears his throat and looks hesitantly at Nicola. âDid you really not have any idea, babe?'
Nicola shakes her head from the floor, moans softly. She can't seem to speak.
âShe just thought she was putting on weight again,' Olivia says. âI can't believe this. I can't bloody believe it.' Now the baby is here, she feels her knees tremble. She has to prop herself against the radiator. The baby's not doing anything and its mother is in a crumpled up, silent heap on the floor. There's a rush of fear which rages behind Olivia's ears.
She looks at the still baby in her hands and then towards Ben. âGod, what do I do now?'
But before they can think much further, the door is pushed open and Olivia's mum is standing there, her face stern and lined, her mouth tight and strained. âWhat the hell's going on, Livvy?'
Behind her is Jonty, his eyes wide and unbelieving, and then Olivia's dad.
A frightening weeping sound slides from Nicola's mouth and she shifts her legs awkwardly to hide herself. The room is suddenly full of her sobbing. It echoes around the tiles of the bathroom, bouncing off ceramic and enamel and glass.
The noise springs Olivia's mum into action. She takes a look at Nicola; at the baby in Olivia's arms which is still connected to Nicola by a cord; at the blood; at the mess; and at the shock in both Ben and Olivia's eyes and yells at the top of her voice. âGet out. All of you. Go away.' She twists her hair from her eyes and looks at her daughter, then puts out her arms. âHave you phoned for an ambulance?'
Olivia nods, hands the baby over. âIt's on its way.' She looks at the baby. âShe's too quiet, Mum. Aren't babies supposed to cry or something?'
The horror of what might be happening is suddenly too much. Her whole body starts to shake.
The next ten minutes flash by in a storm of activity.
There's another phone call to the hospital. The last remaining party stragglers are ejected from the house by Olivia's blustering dad. The bathroom door is slammed shut and the three remaining teenagers and the tall eleven-year-old girl
hover on the landing. Alice clings to Olivia, her face upturned and questioning. Olivia's been told by her dad to look after her because this sort of thing freaks Alice out. No one says a word.