The Bachelor (26 page)

A tremor shook him hard. He might have acknowledged difficult truths—that he wanted to stop running, wanted to settle down,
and that he did love Charlotte—but he’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t scared shitless. Not enough to change his mind. Just
enough to make him human, Roman thought. He was on the verge of a major life change and it had him on edge.

He still couldn’t believe the words had came out of his mouth. Not that the words had been difficult. For a writer, they never
were. But Roman always thought things through first, then spoke with precision. He’d never before let emotion overrule common
sense. But his feelings for Charlotte were over ten years in the making. He wanted to marry her and he did love her. He hadn’t
planned on either declaration, but spontaneity was good. It kept a relationship fresh, Roman thought wryly.

But his hand shook as he worked on the coffee, counting scoops and filling the machine with water. His timing could have been
better. He’d proposed in public, when she was coming off an emotional confrontation with her father, and before he’d had the
chance to make decisions crucial to their future. Given all that, he had to admit she’d taken his words better than he could
have imagined.

But now that he was alone in the office he’d spent so much time in as a kid, he realized his escape from Charlotte’s bed was
a good thing. He needed time alone, to figure out how to balance his life now, and he had no idea what came next. Though he
figured contacting the
Washington Post
about that job offer would be a good start. The notion of picking up the phone didn’t instill in him the urge to run. He
decided that was a good sign.

“Hey, little brother. You’re up early.” Chase walked into the main room of the offices. “What are you doing here? Mom run
out of Cocoa Puffs?”

Roman shrugged. “I wouldn’t know.” Because he hadn’t been home long enough to eat breakfast. He glanced at his oldest sibling.
“You know, I just realized we’ve done nothing but talk about me since I hit town. What’s going on with you these days?”

Chase shrugged. “Same old thing.”

“Any new women?” Roman hadn’t seen Chase with anyone in particular since he’d been home.

Chase shook his head.

“So what do you do for company? What takes care of the loneliness?” Roman asked. And he wasn’t talking about just sex. The
brothers never divulged that kind of information. Chase knew what Roman meant. They both experienced that damn loneliness
that came from their choices. The kind Charlotte had taken care of for him.

With a shrug, Chase said, “If I need company, I have some friends in Harrington. You know Yorkshire Falls is too damn small
to get involved without anyone knowing. But I’m not lacking for company. Now back to you.”

Roman laughed. Chase never could sustain a conversation about himself for too long. “What would you say if I told you the
Washington Post
offered me an editorial job?” he asked his oldest brother.

Chase padded across the room in socks, no shoes—one of the benefits of living upstairs—and joined Roman in the small kitchen
area, where he poured himself a cup of coffee. He raised the mug. “Thanks, by the way.”

Roman leaned against the refrigerator. “No sweat.”

“I’d say don’t take a desk job because of the coin toss.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.” The irony was, Roman was now grateful he’d lost the coin
toss, glad he was forced to stick around Yorkshire Falls, glad he’d been forced to consider marriage. Because the circumstances
had conspired to give him a second chance with Charlotte, the woman he loved.

The woman he’d always loved.

“That coin toss is the reason my entire life is about to change.” He shook his head. That hadn’t come out right. Actually,
the coin toss had provided the impetus to begin a new life. But love was the reason he was marrying Charlotte. Not family
obligation.

“Marriage is a huge step. So’s a baby. I know how bad Mom wants grandkids, but you have to admit, since Eric, she’s calmed
down a little.”

“That’s because he’s keeping her too busy to bother us, but trust the one who sees her most mornings—she hasn’t forgotten
she wants grandchildren and she’s still swigging Maalox.” Though sometimes Roman thought she seemed more active when she thought
he wasn’t around, he figured he was imagining things. “So if you ask me, nothing’s changed as far as that goes.” But Roman’s
feelings about his mother’s needs
had
changed.

“I still say make sure you can live with any decision you make.” Chase paused for a gulp of coffee. “Rick and I will understand
if you don’t want to be the sacrificial lamb in Mom’s quest for grandchildren just because you lost the coin toss. You can
still back out of the deal.”

Chase’s words were ones Roman had used himself a short time ago. But things had changed from the time Roman had returned,
exhausted, from London.

Until recently, he hadn’t taken the time to examine the hows and whys of his actions during his short time home. Jet-lagged
and exhausted, he’d just known the family had a need and it was his turn to fill it. Charlotte’s presence in town had changed
things. And he wondered how to explain his change of heart to Chase, the brother who prized his solitude and bachelor status
most.

Charlotte walked up the path to the
Gazette
, only to find the door wide open. She knocked lightly, but no one answered. Since the
Gazette
had always been a relaxed place, one where you could stop by, hang out, talk to Lucy, Ty Turner, or even Chase, depending
on his mood and schedule, she let herself inside. Expecting to see Lucy on the phone at her desk, Charlotte was surprised
to see the large room was empty.

She glanced at her watch and realized it was earlier than she’d thought. But voices came from the kitchen and Charlotte followed
the low-pitched tones. The closer she came, the stronger the smell of coffee, and her stomach began a steady rumble, reminding
her she hadn’t had anything to eat yet today.

A masculine voice sounded like Roman and her insides twisted into coiled knots. Would it always be like this? she wondered.
Pure enjoyment at the thought of seeing him? His voice exciting her, turning her on? An overwhelming desire to look into those
deep blue eyes and have them stare back at her with equal longing? If so, she hoped like hell he felt the same way, because
she didn’t see her affliction going away anytime soon.

She reached the doorway to the kitchen. Roman stood eyeing the ceiling, as if searching for answers, while Chase guzzled coffee.
Neither brother realized she was there.

She was about to clear her throat and speak when Chase beat her to it.

“I still say make sure you can live with any decision you make.” He paused for a gulp of coffee. “Rick and I will understand
if you don’t want to be the sacrificial lamb in Mom’s quest for grandchildren just because you lost the coin toss. You can
still back out of the deal.”

Charlotte heard Chase’s words and stars danced before her eyes. Her mind quickly interpreted what she’d heard. Raina wanted
grandchildren and Roman had promised to give them to her? Was that why the self-proclaimed wanderer and bachelor had suddenly
started talking marriage? Love and marriage?
Oh, God.

Her stomach clenched in pain, but she reminded herself that eavesdroppers never heard anything correctly. She’d listened to
part of a conversation only. But it didn’t look or sound good. Not for her.

Good manners dictated she announce her presence now, before she overheard anything else that wasn’t meant for her ears. But
that didn’t mean she could ignore what she had heard. “What coin toss?” she asked.

The sound of her voice obviously startled both men, because Chase whirled around and Roman’s body jerked as if she’d shot
at him from across the room. He turned toward where she stood in the doorway.

“How’d you get in?” Chase asked, with his usual flair for bluntness and no tact.

“I knocked, but no one answered. The door was wide open, so I walked in.” She tossed her bag onto the kitchen counter and
strode past Chase to face Roman. “What coin toss?” she asked again pointedly. With determination, fire, and … trepidation
all locked in her throat.

“This is where I excuse myself,” Chase said.

“Coward,” Roman muttered.

“Somehow I don’t think he has anything to do with this.” Her heart pounded hard in her chest as Chase spilled his coffee into
the sink and strode out of the kitchen, leaving her alone with Roman.

A man with secrets she was afraid to hear.

R
oman walked toward Charlotte, grasped her elbow and led her to a small table in the corner of the
Gazette
kitchen area. White Formica, white chairs, furniture she knew came from Raina’s original set. She shook her head at the bizarre
way the mind sought to avoid painful truths.

“Sit,” he said.

“I have a feeling I’ll take this better standing.”

“And I’d rather know it wasn’t so easy for you to turn and walk out. Now sit.”

She folded her arms across her chest and lowered herself into the chair. She wasn’t in the mood for games or beating around
the bush. “Please tell me you didn’t ask me to marry you because your mother wants grandchildren.”

His steely blue eyes met hers. “I didn’t ask you for that reason.”

Her heart beat rapidly in her chest. “Then what deal did you make with your brothers?”

“Come on, didn’t I just tell you last night how ridiculous brothers can be?” He reached out and grabbed for her hand. “Whatever
went on between the three of us doesn’t matter.”

If she’d had any doubts about how serious this revelation was going to be, he’d just confirmed it. “It matters, or you wouldn’t
be trying to avoid telling me.” One look into his serious expression and she knew she was right.

“I came home because Mom was rushed to the hospital with chest pains, remember?”

She nodded.

“She told us that the doctors said she had to avoid stress on her heart. And she had one wish that we all knew we had to make
come true.”

Charlotte swallowed hard. “A grandchild.”

“Right. But since none of us were in a serious relationship with a woman—”

“Or planned to ever marry,” she added.

He gave her a sheepish grin. “Since none of us were in the position to make it happen, we had to decide who would take that
next step.”

“So you flipped a coin to see who would give Raina a grandchild, and you lost.” Bile rose in her throat.

“I know it sounds bad—”

“You don’t want to know what it sounds like,” she said bitterly. “What happened next? I threw myself at you and became the
lucky candidate?”

“If you think back, I pulled away. I tried like hell to stay away. Because you were the one woman I couldn’t do it to.” He
ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

“You couldn’t do what to me?”

“It’s going to get worse before it gets better,” he warned her.

“I don’t see how.”

“I said I’d never outright lie to you and I won’t start now. But you need to hear the whole truth before passing judgment.”
He glanced downward, then spoke again without meeting her gaze. “I thought I could find a woman who wanted kids. Get married,
get her pregnant, and head on back abroad. I figured I’d honor my commitments financially and come home whenever possible,
but not change my lifestyle much at all.”

“Just like my father.” He was more like Russell than Charlotte had ever imagined Roman Chandler could be. A true wave of nausea
rushed over her, but before she could catch her breath or speak, he rushed on.

“Yes, and because of that, I immediately ruled you out, no matter how strong the attraction. I couldn’t do that to you. Even
then, I cared too much to hurt you. But I figured with any other woman, if we were both in agreement on things, no one would
get hurt.”

“Another woman.” Charlotte could barely get the words past her lips. “Just like that. You could go from saying you care about
me to accepting the idea of sleeping with another woman. So easily.” She blinked back tears.

“No.” He held onto her hand and squeezed tight. “No. I was a mess when I came home. I haven’t even thought all this through
until now. But I was jet-lagged, worried about my mother, and I’d agreed to this life change all in one night. I wasn’t thinking
clearly about anything except about not wanting to hurt you. So I pulled away.”

“How noble.”

He paused. Only the clock ticking loudly from the wall behind them broke the silence, but she wasn’t about to make it easier.

He cleared his throat. “But I couldn’t keep my distance. Every time we went near each other, things exploded. Not just sexually
but emotionally. In here.” He pointed to his chest. “And I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else.” He raised his head and his
stare locked on hers. “Not ever again.”

“Don’t.” She shook her head, finding it hard to speak, the pain lodged in her throat and chest, overwhelming. “Don’t say all
the right things in an attempt to make this okay when it isn’t. It can’t be. So you chose me,” she said, trying to regain
the thread of conversation without emotion getting in the way. “Because the attraction was so strong. And what happened to
that caring you spoke about?”

“It turned into love.”

Her breath caught in her throat. But as badly as she wanted to believe, she also was facing the truth. “The perfect words
to convince me to marry you and give your mother the grandchild she wants.”

“The words I’ve never said to anyone before. Words I wouldn’t say unless I meant them.” And he did. But Roman knew she wouldn’t
believe him. She’d heard him out; however her conclusions weren’t based on his emotions, but the cold, hard facts.

What irony, he thought. As a journalist, he lived and died by the facts. Now he wanted Charlotte to throw away those facts
and invest her future happiness on the intangible. He wanted her to believe in him. In his word. No matter that the
facts
pointed in the opposite direction.