The BACHELORETTE Project (The Project: LESLEE Series) (33 page)

“Yeah, it happened fast,” I tell her
. “This year, I mean. T
ime flies …” I drift off in the conversation.

“So, the girls and I are getting together tonight,” Karen says. “The women of the bridal party minus my mother. We’re meeting at Davio’s on 17th Street. You want to join us? I figured that you should all meet each other beforehand and get to know each other—”

“It sounds great,” I reply salivating at the sound of Davio’s. It’s Italian food, it’s steak, it’s crazy delicious. I can break my health regimen for just one night. Plus, a night out with the girls sounds fabulous, even though these are girls I don’t know personally. If it turns into a disaster, I can just eat and leave. It’s a win-win situation I think.

“Oh, good,” Karen tells me. “I made a reservation for eight o’clock.”

“Sounds good.”

“So what’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?” Karen asks me. I never even thought of that. Lately, I’ve become this film and theater person, going to shows by myself and enjoying the culture of the arts, but today I didn’t have anything planned. Maybe …

“I’m going to go shopping,” I tell her confidently. It’s been a while since I’ve been to King of Prussia Mall. A girl can never have enough clothes or shoes. Plus, I can buy myself a new dress for tonight. I deserve it. All this yoga I’ve been doing has shaped my legs into the stems of a goddess. I can show them off for a night. I smile at the thought of it all. God, I love to shop!

“Oh, that’s great!” Karen exclaims. “I can go with you, and then on the way there we can stop at this bridal shop to look at wedding dresses!” My smile turns into a complete frown. This was a trick. This was a very mean trick that I didn’t even see coming.
Damn you, Bridezilla! Damn you!

I begin to clench my teeth. “Fantastic,” I say trying to hide my aggravation. “Sounds like so much fun.” I want to shoot myself in this moment. How did I just fall for her evil bridal ploy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After much time and effort of driving through the city, I finally find a parking spot on the street near Davio’s. Getting out of my car and walking toward the restaurant, I feel a cool yet refreshing wind against my face. I take a deep breath and let it all in. I can’t deny it and I’ll say it again: Fall is my favorite season. In fact, Philadelphia in the Fall is as beautiful as anything gets. People are going out more, everyone’s socializing, and tailgating at the football games. It’s just awesome. It’s pure and natural awesome.

I walk into Davio’s and begin to look around for Kare
n. “Excuse me? Can I help you, M
iss?” the hostess asks me.

“I’m actually meeting a few—”

“Leslee!” Karen yells through the restaurant, startling the other patrons. I can see Karen waving her hands in the air in the far back. “Leslee! We’re right here!”

I laugh nervously out of pure embarrassment as I walk toward Karen’s table. In an upscale restaurant like this, I’m sure that people generally do not yell across the room for their party to join them. But, that’s just classic Karen, and that is why she’s my best friend. I smile at her.

“Hey, Leslee!” Karen shouts as she hugs me in front of the table. “I’m glad you made it tonight.”
Haven’t we seen enough of each other?
I think to myself. Today, she drove me crazy … literally. What started off as a trip to the King of Prussia Mall turned into the mad search for a wedding dress. Yes, it’s a month and a half before her wedding, and yes, she should have her dress and, in fact, did buy a dress, but apparently she’s not satisfied with it.
Typical Bridezilla shenanigans.

“I’m happy to be here,” I say once she lets go of me. Hugging Karen really is like hugging a bear. She hugs so tightly that it’s almost suffocating. “Thank you for inviting me,” I tell her as I sit at the table. I realize that the women that I’m surrounded by are not only diverse, but beautiful. Karen wasn’t kidding around when she said we all had to look good for her wedding. Of course, I wouldn’t expect Karen to keep the company of dirty, funky-looking people. It seems that she has a nice friend-base, so to speak.

“OK,” Karen starts, “everyone, this is Leslee, my best friend in the whole wide world. Leslee, these are the girls: Alisha, Angelique, my cousin and maid of honor; Jen, Cheyenne, and Vanessa.”

The women all say hi to me and smile. I’m beginning to feel this crazy sense of déjà vu. It’s like I’m back in New York again with my old friends. I miss the spa days and the weird French food. But, maybe I can develop new friendships with Karen’s friends. It’s definitely a possibility.

“So, did you order anything yet?” I ask Karen.

“Drinks, of course,” she tells me. “Well, red wine anyway.”

“Is that a part of our wedding workout and nutrition regimen?” Vanessa asks sarcastically and the women at the table laugh except for Karen.

“Ha ha, very funny, bitches,” Karen says rolling her eyes. “There was nothing wrong with the regimen.”

“Besides the fact that you want to know about everything that goes in our mouths,” Jen replies.

“I already know what goes in your mouth, Jen,” Karen starts, “and it’s attached to a pair of balls.” The women all laugh again. It’s like everything is falling into place. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a girls’ night out, and it feels good to finally be surrounded by such wonderful, funny women.

The waiter brings our wine and we order our food. We all discuss the perils of a woman’s life: clothes, men, children, culture, city life. It’s nice to find out more and more about these women and how incredibly interesting they are. It’s also refreshing that we get along so well.

“So, let’s make a toast,” Angelique announces as we all lift up our glasses. My New York déjà vu, indeed! “Here’s a toast to Karen, our crazy, lovable, wonderful bride, and we hope that she and Russ are happy for years to come—”

“And to those crazy nights filled with sexual pleasure and pain,” Jen adds as we all laugh.

“And to her shitty wedding workout regimen,” Vanessa says.

“And we hope one day to be as happy as you are,” I add. “Karen, we love you, and we hope that your wedding day is as beautiful as you imagine it to be. Cheers.”

“Cheers!” we all say and drink to our Bridezilla. We continue with our girls’ night out by eating the delicious Davio’s cuisine and discussing our lives, our pet peeves, and Karen’s wedding in detail. It’s the perfect way of getting to know each other. I guess you can call it ‘friend-dating,’ or even better, ‘friending.’

After dinner, we decide to hit up 105 Social Lounge on Grape Street in Manayunk. After the elegance of Davio’s, we needed to go somewhere more low-key and relaxing with good drinks and good music. 105 Social Lounge is perfect just for that.

I grab my Chocolate Covered Strawberry drink and look around the bar. I have to say that the men in here aren’t that bad. Definitely some potential in the room.

“OK ladies,” Ange
lique starts, “let’s go man hunt
ing.”

“I’m down with that,” Jen chimes in.

“Amen and hallelujah!” Cheyenne shouts. We all look at her strangely. She slumps into her bar stool. “Sorry, I’m just really excited.”

“Leslee, what do you think?” Angelique asks me and I shrug my shoulders.

“The outlook’s pretty good,” I say. “There are a few hotties in here that I’d be willing to sink my teeth into, but I’m pretty content by myself.”

“Bullshit,” Vanessa says as she sips on her martini. “You mean to tell me that you’re content with not having a boyfriend and not having sex?”

“Let’s just say that I’ve done a lot of soul-searching,” I tell her as two tall, incredibly gorgeous men in suits walk past us. One of them winks at Angelique. She begins to giggle. I just roll my eyes.

“Did you see that?” Angelique whispers to Karen. “That guy just winked at me!”

“He’s a douche,” I say as I gulp my drink.

“What?” Vanessa says, shocked. “Those were two Grade-A men that just walked past us.”

“OK,” I start, “but what men do you know wear business suits on a Saturday? They only did that to impress the women here.”

“And it obviously worked,” Angelique says. “I’m gonna go and talk to him.” She begins to walk away and I grab her.

“No, don’t do that,” I tell her. “If he’s interested in you, he’ll come back. Never run after a man. You’ll look desperate.”

“But he
winked
at me!” Angelique whines.

“Maybe he has a nervous twitch,” Alisha chimes in. I suddenly notice a Justin Timberlake lookalike staring at Jen from across the room.

“Jen, smile,” I tell her as I look away from him.

“Why?” she asks.

“Because there’s a really cute looking guy looking at you over there,” I say gesturing to the other side of the room. All the women except me turn to look at him. “You can’t all look at him!” I snap. They continue to stare. “Turn around, turn around!” The ladies turn their heads the other way. This is such a sad thing. They don’t even know how to pick up guys right without intimidating them. “Look, when you’re at a bar with your friends, you can’t all look at the same guy. Men are scared, little puppy dogs.”

“What do I do then?” Jen asks.

“You’re going to lock eyes with him for three seconds, give a little smile, move your hair behind your ear, then look away,” I instruct her. “Trust me, it works.”

Jen sighs. “Well, here goes nothing,” she says and looks over at our resident Justin. She slightly smiles, moves her hair softly, then looks away. “OK, now what?”

“You wait,” I say.

“How do you know if he’s a normal guy?” Vanessa asks me. “He could very well be some sort of psycho.”

“Well, let’s see,” I start. “By looking at him, it seems as if his hygiene is clean, he has all his teeth which are white so that also means he visits his dentist regularly, his clothes aren’t wrinkled, he’s not surrounded by a clan of douchebags and as you ladies already know, you are the company you keep. He seems normal from a physical aspect. All you have to do, Jen, is talk to him.” I notice him walking towards us. “Ladies, turn the other way!” I whisper. “He’s coming over here.”

The Justin Timberlake lookalike walks up to Jen and smiles. “Hi,” he says to her and she blushes. “I’m Spencer.”

“I’m Jen,” she replies. “Nice to meet you.”

“Do you want to play a game of pool?” Spencer asks.

“I don’t really know how to play,” she responds.

“I’ll teach you,” he says.

“OK,” she agrees and she walks with him towards the billiards room. The other women just stare in awe.

“I can’t believe what just happened,” Vanessa says. “Leslee, you are a genius. You just coached Jen on how to get a man, a good looking man for that matter.”

I shrug my shoulders. “It’s not that difficult,” I tell her. “You just have to be aware of your surroundings and to know exactly what you want. Granted, I don’t know anything about that guy, but his exterior says a lot about him.”

“What about me then?” Angelique asks. “Can you find me a man in this room of eligible bachelors?”

“Hmm …” I think to myself. “I like a challenge. I’m sure I can.” I begin to look around the room for men that would be good matches for Angelique. My eyes lock on a tall, purposefully bald (you know what I mean), thirty
-
something Puerto Rican male flanked by two of his friends. As he drinks his beer and laughs, I notice the sparkle of a tiny silver ball in his mouth: his tongue ring. Perfect (for her). “Found him,” I say.

“Good,” Angelique responds. “Where is my perfect man?”

“Right over there,” I say slightly pointing to the group of men across the room. “The one in the middle.”

Angelique’s jaw drops. “He is hot,” she blurts out.

“And he’s kind of a freak, I’m sure,” I tell her. “If y
ou’re anything like your cousin
Karen, then this guy is sure to take you places in a sexual way.”

“How the hell would you even know that?” Karen asks.

“Easy,” I answer. “He has a tongue ring. You know what they say about people with tongue rings.” A
nother
stereotype, I know, but it can be true.

“So, what do I do?” Angelique asks. “He’s with his friends.”

“You go over there and act like you know him,” I say. “You know, pretend you guys went to elementary school together or something, and then get the conversation going that way. After that,” I start, “Vanessa, you’ll go over there and act like you were looking for Angelique, and then you’ll introduce yourself and then you can start talking to the one on the right who, by the way, is equally hot.”

“What about the other guy?” Vanessa asks. “Won’t he feel left out?”

I shake my head. “No, because he’s married,” I answer. “See the ring on his finger?” I point to the shiny piece of jewelry on his left hand. “You can acknowledge that he’s there of course and include him in the conversation, but don’t flirt with him or anything. Then you’ll be crossing over to mistress territory and you don’t want that.”

“True,” Vanessa agrees.

“OK, so Angelique you can go over now,” I say giving her a little push. For someone as tough as she is, she looks nervous as all hell. She walks over to the small group of men, then turns around to look at us.
Turn around!
I mouth to her and she does. She begins to talk to the taller guy in the middle and he laughs with her. “That’s your cue, Vanessa,” I say as I give her a little push, too. “Go now.” Vanessa walks over to the group and begins to talk. Soon, it becomes a full-fledged conversation among all of them. Socialization at its best.
Those girls better not mess this up,
I think to myself. I take a sigh of relief.