The Bad Judgment Series: The Complete Series (36 page)

“Is that the worst thing?” I asked, my mind racing. “It’s our government. We both love our country. You fought for your country — you risked your life for it. So why is it so bad to sell exclusively to them? I know it’s not just about the money. And I know you love your country, so….”

“I do love my country,” Walker said, and I could hear pain in his voice now, real regret. “I would do anything for it — if I believed the course of action be fair, just, and ethical. I didn’t agree with them when they told me I couldn’t sell my products to certain other countries. I thought it was a power grab, an unfair restriction of trade that was quite possibly illegal.

“So I didn’t do as they asked. And now we’re here,” he said, motioning around. “It’s not a coincidence, Nicole. Whether they were the originators of all this trouble or if they were just capitalizing on it, their hands are still dirty. And I don’t want to get back into a position where my only client is jeopardizing my value system.”

“What are we going to do if we don’t go back?” I asked. I couldn’t picture a future without Boston in it, my family, my apartment, my degrees. I couldn’t stay hidden in a condo on Boca for the rest of my life. I was only twenty-five, for crissakes.

“Nicole,” he said, coming to me and wrapping his arms around me. “This is something I’m running through in my mind, right now. Don’t be upset. I just need to think it through. And whatever I end up deciding, you have to know that you have to make your own choice. You’ve already given up too much for me. I’m not going to ask you to turn your back on your family and your future just because I don’t know if I want to live in that world anymore.”

My heart thudded in my chest and I looked up at him. “I already made my choice, Walker. We’re in this together. To the end.” I ran my hands down his back, reminding myself of his tattoo, the declaration of his loyalty, laid out for the world to see.

I took a deep breath. “Because we’re together, you’re going to have to take into consideration what I want too,” I said.

“Of course. That’s the most important thing to me. So what is it? Do you know what you want to do?” he asked me, running his fingers gently down my face.

“I want to be with you,” I said.
Always,
I thought. And then I thought about Mandy, and the driver, and the deliveryman, the triumvirate of bad deeds that always lurked in my thoughts, burning into me.

“And I want justice.”

“You’re going to get both,” he said, kissing the side of my face. “One you have already. The second is coming soon. I promise.”

I leaned up and kissed him, feeling my heart expand. My natural instinct was to grab his ass and pull him against me, but I made myself stop.
We had too much to do.
I looked warily at the computer; I’d never been afraid of hard work, but I was nervous now. Not about the work, but about the result — I wanted to find hard evidence, to find out exactly who was involved at my firm in addition to Lester Max, and I wanted them to be punished. I’d never wanted anything this much, except for the man who was holding me now. He was the only other thing that mattered.

“Back to what you were saying,” I said, pulling back a little more so I could clear my head. I still wanted to talk this through. “If we didn’t go back, where
would
we go?”

Walker shrugged. “We’d have to get my money, first. If I can get to Lester, we can maybe figure it out….” He went over and stared out the window at the water.

“We have a boat. We’re in Florida…We could head to the Bahamas. It’s close. There’s a lot of little islands down there. We could island hop for a little while, then….” His voice trailed off and I realized that this scenario was appealing to him; he sounded excited.

“Then?” I asked him, prompting him, as he continued to stare out the window.

“We could buy a house for cash and live happily ever after,” he said, and shrugged.

I shivered.
Ever after.
Those were the words I longed to hear. In my heart, I knew I wouldn’t say no to him, if that’s what he really wanted…but a quiet life on the beach? With no work, no goals, no stress?

“What the hell would we do all day?” I blurted out.

He looked back at me and laughed, but there was a little sadness in his eyes. A little hesitation. “Maybe you’re too young to see the perfection in it,” he said. “When I was twenty-five, that would have sounded about as interesting as watching paint dry. I was restless then, too.”

“I’m not restless,” I said, although at the moment, I was feeling exactly that. “I just don’t know what that would be like — a life without worrying about responsibilities. Work, taking care of my family, stress…That’s how I’ve operated my whole life. I don’t know anything different.”

Walker turned back out towards the water. “You could still take care of your family, Nic. Your family in Boston — we’d find a way. I’d never turn my back on them. Or my sister. We have to make sure everyone is safe and has what they need.” He paused for a beat. “And after a while, maybe it would be safe to see them again. When we’ve seen this through and the dust has settled.

“You could also be busy taking care of your other family, if you wanted,” he said, still looking out the window.

I just stood there, not understanding what he was saying. “My other family?” I asked, confused.

Walker headed towards the computer, his arms crossed across his chest, not looking at my face. “We don’t need to talk about this right now. Let’s get back to work.”

“Okay,” I said, my brow furrowed. We could get back to this later — whatever
this
was. I would let the picture of us on a white-sand beach, a beautiful stucco house behind us, just stay in my mind.

And maybe just consider it.

“
I
think I found something
,” I said, a few hours later. I came into the kitchen and found Walker in there, leaning against the granite island and reading a boating manual. He looked up at me, and there was still the trace of disappointment on his face, but I didn’t have time to ask about it right now; my heart was pounding about the document I’d found. “I found it in some of the Advent docs. It’s an email from Lester to David Proctor.”

“What does it say?” Walker asked, straightening up.

“It looks like Advent was another company that was set up,” I said, the words coming out in a rush.

“We didn’t see any tax records or formation papers for that during discovery,” Walker said. “You would have caught it.”

“Yeah, I would have — if Advent was part of Blue Securities. It’s not.”

We just looked at each other for a beat. Then Walker raised his eyebrows, waiting.

“Advent LLC is an off-shoot of Proctor & Buchanan,” I said. “The formation papers, which I just looked up on the Secretary of State’s website, are signed by none other than David Proctor, Managing Partner.”

“
W
ell
, well, well,” Walker said, and shook his head. He had poured himself a rather large bourbon; it was already almost gone. “I still can’t believe it. My own fucking lawyer. And I’ve known him for ten years.” We’d read through the related emails between Lester and David, which were very brief, and then I’d shown him the formation paperwork online.

Advent LLC had been set up right at the same time Walker had retained the services of Proctor & Buchanan. Corporate formation documents had to include information about what the company did. The Advent paperwork stated that it was an investment management consulting company.

That made Walker laugh.

“The question, for me,” I said — as if it were only one question, when in fact I had many more, swirling around in my head, fighting for attention — “is whether or not this could be legitimate. David told me that they’d set up a special account for your assets, so that if you were convicted, the money would be out of your business, protected for you.” Walker looked at me skeptically, but I got up and paced, trying to work my way through it. “He said that they’d found a way to do it legally. He also said that Lester Max had helped set it up. I’m going to ask Alexa to find the paperwork for it on our end. My guess is that payments came to Advent via Miami; that would be putting another step in between Blue Securities and the money. I’m sure I saw other transactions in the Miami reports. There could have been stuff related to Advent, but I didn’t know what I was looking at.

“But it
could
be legitimate,” I said, turning to look at him. “I don’t think we can rule that out as a possibility.”

“I seriously doubt that any of this is legitimate — otherwise, we would have known about it. The first we heard about this special account that your firm was setting up for me was the day that you almost died. You’re forgetting the bomb,” Walker said, “remember? The one that was meant for you outside of your office? In the car David was trying to get you into? Right after he told you he was setting up a trust for me?”

“I haven’t forgotten the bomb,” I said, looking out at the water. “Not the one in the car. Not the one on your boat. I’m not forgetting any of it.” I looked down and noticed that my hands were clenched into fists. Up to now, part of me still wanted to believe that David Proctor was innocent. I think it was because I’d looked up to him. In the brief time we’d worked together, I’d trusted him. I thought he was a great lawyer and he’d actually taught me quite a bit. Norris Phaland could slither over the edge of a very large cliff for all I cared, but part of me still wanted to believe that David was innocent.

The prognosis for this particular irrational hope wasn’t good.

“Have you heard from Levi?” I asked Walker. He was still scrolling through documents on the screen.

“No,” Walker said.

“Can we call Alexa or April again yet?” I asked.

“No,” Walker said.

We couldn’t go for a walk, it was too light outside and too dangerous to go check out the boat, and I had my stupid period so we couldn’t have sex.

“Want to make a list?” I asked. I went to him and I wrapped my arms around him from the back.

“Sounds like a good time,” Walker said, turning towards me and hugging me back.

I grabbed my notebook and a pen and dragged him over to the couch next to me. “Watch TV while I do this,” I said, and I turned it on for him. Even in Florida, the Red Sox were on, and he gave a happy sigh. A few minutes later, he got up and went into the kitchen, returning with two beers and some chips and salsa.

“Thanks,” I said, grabbing a chip. An image of Mike suddenly came back to me, of him sitting on the couch in my old apartment, while I fumed that he was getting crumbs all over the place.
Walker can get crumbs wherever the hell he wants,
I thought and laughed. Walker could somehow get away with a lot more than pale, puffy Mike the Spike.

“What’s so funny?” Walker asked.

“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. I kissed him lightly on the cheek and grabbed my notebook. Walker grabbed his beer, leaned back against the couch and rubbed my back.

“You make everything better, Nic,” he said. “Thank you for buying these chips — the blue corn ones are the best. I fucking love you. And I fucking hate David Proctor.”

“I’m on the fence about David, but I love you, too,” I said, laughing, but when I looked at him his eyes were dark and flashing. “What?” I asked. “What is up with you?”

“On your list,” he said, still looking at me with electricity in his eyes. It made my nether-regions clench. “Put down running away to the Caribbean with me, having someone wire us all of my money, buying a house on the beach and having four kids. Just as an option.”

My jaw dropped, probably to the floor. “
Four
kids?”

He looked at me and shrugged, a trace of that pout back.

“Is that what you meant before? About my other family?” I asked. My heart was pounding for so many reasons I couldn’t even keep track.

“Yeah,” he said, and he sounded positively gloomy now. He turned back to the game. “Don’t sound so excited about it.”

“Walker,” I said. “You have to understand — you can’t just throw stuff like that at me. I’m an analyzer and a planner. You dangle a big-ticket item like that in front of me without warning, and with everything else that’s going on, my hardwired brain is going to short-circuit.” I searched his face, which was studiously avoiding mine. “But wait — are you serious? Is that really what you want?”

“You mean, do I want you forever?” Walker looked at me very seriously. “That is absolutely what I want. I want to keep you safe. I want to live the rest of our lives in a calm and happy manner. Without explosions. Without people following us and embezzling my money. With your debts paid off, with your family taken care of. With absolutely no drama. Is that too much for you?”

For once in my life, I didn’t even wait to think it through. I threw myself into his lap and almost knocked his beer over. “No,” I said. “It’s absolutely not too much for me.” It would be a dream come true — it was just a dream I’d never had. I’d always pictured myself in a suit, with a briefcase and a plan, charging off to organize something and keeping track of my billable hours. Putting my younger brothers through college. Making sure I got my dad into a condo at some point so he wouldn’t have to climb a ladder and shovel snow off the roof.

“We’d have to do
something
, though,” I said, and nuzzled his neck. “We can’t just lie on a beach all day, every day.”

“You mean, do something
besides
having the four kids? I think we’d be pretty busy,” Walker said.

I looked at him, my brow furrowed. “That’s sort of a lot of kids.”

“One at a time, Nic, we’ll take it one at a time.” He smiled at me, but it was intense; he traced the outline of my lips with his finger. “I’ve just been thinking about it — about what’s important to me. I worked for so many years, building my company, building my empire, and now I realize that no matter what I did, I couldn’t keep it safe. People will always want something from you. Something you’ve got, something you’ve made, some piece of you. I’ve lived long enough and hard enough to know what’s important to me now: you. And I just want us to circle the wagons.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I want us to focus on what’s important — family. Loyalty. Being good people.”

“You are a good person, and you’re very good to me,” I said. “Just because this happened to you doesn’t mean it’s your fault. It also doesn’t mean that you have to turn your back on the world.”

“What if I wanted to?” he asked. I could see it in his face: this was something he was really struggling with. He was thinking it all through, weighing what he was giving up against what he might be gaining.

“What if I’m not ready to?” I asked. “I never pictured myself as a housewife, Walker. I can’t even imagine what life would be like without working.”

“I know — I can’t either,” Walker said. “We can get creative about what we do with the future. I’m not asking you to give up your whole life. You’d be too restless. It wouldn’t be fair. I’m just asking you to consider whether it would be the worst thing. To leave the past behind.”

“No,” I answered him. He raised his eyebrows at me. “I mean — no, it wouldn’t be the worst thing.” I pulled him to me. “There a lots of things that could be worse.”

“Just think about it,” he said.

I promised him I would. I communicated that to him in the form of a long, lengthy kiss.

W
e were still waiting
. No news from Levi, no news from April.

I went back to making a list.

Things to Do.

(1) Get information from Levi re: Adrian, my dad and brothers, Alexa, Tammy.

(2) Call Alexa and have her log onto server and cc Advent docs to me ASAP.

(3) Call April and remind her to pack sexy underwear, in case she needs to seduce Lester Max to get us intel.

(4) Get printer and paper — start making hard copies of Advent and related docs.

(5) Find an overnight carrier nearby.

(6) Discuss options for how to access Walker’s money.

(7) Find out a way to send word to Richie and Adrian that we’re okay.

(8) Think about the future. Maybe watch YouTube videos about the Bahamas and raising four kids. Or something.

It was funny, but even though my list contained some unusual things, it made me feel saner to write it. This was my life, now. My life post-associate, post-conventional, post-normal.

That’s what I was thinking when Walker’s TracFone rang.

“Levi,” he said. “Tell me everything.”

T
hey were
on the phone for a long time. Rather than sit and try to listen in, while I watched Walker pace, I made a late dinner. Pasta Bolognese, one of the three things I could cook. I had my mother’s recipe memorized; I found it comforting to go through the motions of making it. I’d pretty much stopped cooking since I’d started working at Proctor. I ate dinner at my desk so often, I’d had all the local takeout places in my contacts. I called them every night on a rotating basis; I’d had a schedule, of course. And I always ordered the same things because the routine of it comforted me.

Oh boy, was that routine out the window.

Walker came into the kitchen, a tight look on his face. My heart plummeted and he held up his hand to calm me down, reading my expression instantly. “Everything is okay,” he said. “Your dad and your brothers are fine — the boys are still going to school, Levi said he followed your dad home from work, and everything looked normal.”

I exhaled in relief and felt my shoulders relax. “He said that Adrian
is
back — which really pisses me off, because I told her before we left that she needed to stay out of town for a while.”

“She’s not at your house, is she?” I asked. That seemed too dangerous.

“No, she’s at her stupid boyfriend’s house,” Walker said. “Levi followed her after class.”

“Did he talk to any of them?” I asked. I could hear the near-hope in my voice.

Walker shook his head at me. “No, I told you and I told him — it’s too dangerous,” he said. “And he found Tammy.”

I just looked at him, unable to speak.

“She’s alive,” Walker said, rubbing my arms. “But he said that she was at home, with the TV set on, wrapped up in a blanket in the middle of the day.”

“He got that close?” I asked, feeling guilty all of a sudden. Tammy was my friend, and I’d sent a complete stranger, possibly a crazy one, to go spy on her.

“He could tell someone was there. He wanted to see who was in the house.”

I nodded at him, slowly, and went back to stirring the sauce before it bubbled over onto the stove. “She could help us, you know. She was amazing on the system. She probably knows where everything is. A hell of a lot better than Alexa does.”

“We’d be putting her in danger,” Walker said.

“She’s already in danger,” I said back. “If we could get her out of her house, and someplace safe, she might be able to get us exactly what we need. She can work with Alexa. They could get us the documents we need to show that my firm and Lester Max were conspiring against you and stealing your money.”

Walker exhaled and stalked around the kitchen.

“We need money,” I said, putting the spaghetti into the large pot of water I’d brought to a boil. I added sea salt and olive oil, stirring it gently, careful not to splash boiling water over the edge. “Lots of it. Because then we can do everything we need. And we can take care of the people who take care of us. It would help buy us some time,” I said, even though I meant it figuratively; I knew time was one of those precious few things that actually couldn’t be bought.

“I know,” Walker said, still pacing. “I just don’t know how to get it.”

“I have an idea,” I said. “Do you still have Louise’s phone number at The Majestic? I think some of her friends could help us out….”