The Bear Who Loved Me (17 page)

O
kay, you are officially a pain in my ass.”

Carl jolted as he looked at Tonya. She was driving the squad car as they went to the next house on their list. “What?”

“You've been a shit all morning and that last conversation with Mr. Edelstein? Not necessary to put him against the wall.”

“You?” he stressed, layering sarcasm in every word. “You're chewing me out for too much force?”

“Yes. Because that's my beat. You're the thinking one. Except today you're Mr. Get Outta My Face.”

“Yeah, I am. So get out.”

She snorted. “You'll have to get a lot more violent for that to work on me.”

“Don't push me, Tonya. I mean it.”

She huffed out a breath. “You playing the alpha card? Was that an order?”

He considered it. He was in that foul a mood. But Tonya had only so much obedience in her, even when given direct orders. A good leader knew when to call in his markers and this wasn't one of those times. So instead of answering, he looked out the window at the rapidly warming landscape. Michigan was hitting one of those hopeful spring moments. The smart ones knew it could change in five minutes, so they took the time to appreciate the weather now. He chose to stare at the landscape and pray that Theo wasn't out in it somewhere.

“That's not going to work either,” Tonya said with a huff.

He turned and hit her with a hard glare. She stared at him for a moment, and then turned back to the road.

“Okay. So I guess that will work. So I'm going to do something radical here. I'm going to offer something I never do. Are you ready?”

He snorted rather than answer.

“I'm going to listen without judgment. Whether you realize it or not, you need to talk to someone. So talk. I'll listen. And I won't tell either, but you know that already.”

Yes, that part was true. She was as close a confidant as he'd ever had. Except for his brother, she was the one person he trusted with his secrets. Which meant, after a time, he finally started speaking.

“Becca wanted to meet my bear last night.”

Tonya frowned. “She already met your bear. When you tore apart Nick.”

He winced at the memory. “Not like that. Unshifted. Just…you know, the bear.”

“Jesus, you are the bear. Unless we're talking fur and claws, you were being you.”

He snorted. “That's what she said.”

“So she's smarter than she looks.”

“Stop that!” he snapped. “She's brilliant. She understands a lot more than you do, that's for damn sure. She's gentle and kind. She's been raising a kid by herself, running a business, and you should see her cakes. They're works of art. She's amazing, and you show yourself as an idiot when you trash-talk her.”

If his earlier silence had her staring, this little explosion had her gaping in shock. Bad news when they were speeding down a country road at seventy miles per hour.

“Pay attention to the road!” he snapped.

She did. Her gaze ripped back to the road and her mouth clenched in a tight line. But she didn't speak. Instead, she slowly blew out a breath. And then after he'd turned back to glare out the window, she finally ventured a couple sentences, albeit in a small, quiet voice that she never, ever used.

“So she met your bear last night and told you that you and the bear are the same people. What happened next?”

He sighed. “She may be pregnant.”

She snorted. “Been there, done that.” He glared at her again, but she held up a hand. “Not judging. Just saying.”

He didn't respond. Nothing to say. Except apparently, Tonya had plenty on her mind.

“Okay, since you're not talking, let me be the one to say the things you're brooding about. We'll just get them out in the open and you can tell me to go shove it or not.” He opened his mouth to tell her to shove it, but she rushed her words. “You've fallen for Becca. That much is clear from your tirade a moment ago.”

He didn't argue. That much he'd already figured out.

“Maybe you even think you love her.”

He hadn't gone to that word yet. Worship. Adore. Thank God for her every moment of the day. Those words he'd used, at least in his own head. Love? His bear certainly loved her. Maybe he could admit that the human Carl loved her, too. But crap, that was a problem. The woman hadn't even been able to look at him this morning.

“So you're moody,” Tonya continued, “because you know it's a doomed relationship.”

“What?” The word came out with a sharp bite.

“Don't snap at me for saying what you're already thinking. Look, she's fully human. She may be the adopted mother of a shifter boy, but she's not one of us and she never will be. Anyone else in the community, that's not a problem. But you're the Max. And worse than that, you like being the Max and you're pretty good at it.”

“So maybe you should let me pick the woman I want and leave it alone.”

“I will, but that doesn't help Becca. She's the one who'll suffer, not you.”

“Don't be ridiculous. She'll be my Maxima. That's a position of status.” He ignored the fact that she was a long way from becoming his wife. Hell, as of this morning, he wondered if she'd still be there tonight when he came home. He gave even odds that she'd have already bolted back to Kalamazoo.

“Now who's being ridiculous? She's an outsider and that will never change. She'll be given lip service as your Maxima, but attacked in other ways. People won't talk to her, won't accept her help, and will criticize her every chance they get. She won't be able to function as a Maxima would because no one will let her. That will end up hurting both of you.”

That was a bleak picture. Worse, he knew it was possible. Being alpha was akin to being mayor of a small, insular town. Everyone seemed friendly on the outside, but once you got to the inner workings of the clan? Well, that was a dicey political position indeed. He survived because he kept the various factions in balance. Marrying a fully human woman would hurt that standing. But then, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he should give up being Max. It was never something he sought out specifically. He just hadn't wanted psycho people like Nick to take control.

“So be it,” he said. “I don't need to stay Max.”

“Bullshit. You love being Max. Sure, you complain, but you're the only reason the Gladwins have held together since your father killed your uncle.”

He winced. That had been a devastating time for everyone. It started out just rocky. No one grieved his uncle's passing and they were relieved at the sudden release from the violent control that had been the man's MO. Everyone cheered his father's kinder, more gentle approach. But within a year, it became clear that his father just didn't have the organizational skills to keep matters running smoothly. He screwed up key negotiations with neighboring shifters—which planted the seeds of Nick's discontent—and worse, he had no ability to manage finances. Even at eleven, Carl had understood the disaster in the making. He was the one who convinced his father to hire an accountant and a manager to oversee the daily affairs of the kids camp that had always been the heart of the Gladwin clan. Shortly after his twelfth birthday, Carl started listening in to important meetings.

It wasn't always smooth, but with his help, his father had managed to keep the Gladwins from disintegrating long enough for Carl to come back from college. The day after he graduated, his father handed him the title and four months later died from a heart attack. There'd been a challenge two days later, but Carl's bear was in its prime. The fight had been long and bloody, but he'd ended up victorious. He'd become Max in the most animal way. But the widow had been angry and started whispers. Sure, he retained the title, but the discontent had been a constant nagging problem that had eaten at his peace of mind.

But that was the job of the Max. To keep things running smoothly for the good of everyone. And Tonya was right. He was good at it. But that didn't mean he couldn't do something else.

“If I give up being Max, I could put more time into finding a solution to the feral problem. I could spend more time with the kids.”

“You're not a scientist, and you spend time with the kids as Mr. Max. It doesn't work if you're not the alpha. It'll be the other Max's job. And speaking of which, just who do you think will replace you? Nick was the least nutty of the viable candidates.”

“Why not you? The alpha doesn't have to be a guy.”

She shot him a look. “Like I want to manage money or listen to an old lady's complaints about her neighbor's dog. I'm the least diplomatic person alive and you know it. One bad look from the wolves in Detroit, and we'd be at war with them. No thank you. I prefer to leave that kind of crap to the guy who kept us neutral three years ago when the cats and dogs started killing each other.”

He'd done some fancy dancing then, when the werewolves and the were-cougars had gone at it. It was a short war—only about a year—but it had been bloody on both sides. The populations were still recovering and it had taken all of his human diplomatic skills to keep the Gladwins out of it. Especially since one of the most logical battlegrounds was Gladwin State Park. And what even Tonya didn't know was that he was the one who brokered the peace.

“I could be your diplomatic liaison,” he suggested.

“Or you could keep doing what you're doing and not screw with success.” She blew out a breath. “Look, I know you're feeling all these great things for Becca. She's everything warm and fuzzy that you adore. She's also sexy in that hot mama kind of way. But come summer, it'll change. Don't destroy both your lives for spring fever.”

Was that what he was feeling? Spring hormones? It didn't feel like that, but hell, it'd been so long since he'd felt the hots for anyone, how would he know?

Tonya shot him a long look, trying to gauge his reaction to her words. He didn't give her any. There was too much to consider. Just because every part of his body and soul wanted Becca in his life didn't mean he was thinking clearly. Or that it was the best choice for everyone. After all, he could give up being Max. He could if it was for her. Plus, it would give him more time to do the things he cared about, like finding a solution for the ferals. But what if she would be miserable here? Tonya was right. As a full human, Becca would never completely fit in. He had only to look at his brother, Alan, to know that. The man did more for the community as a lawyer than any of them could possibly imagine, but he was still considered inferior because he couldn't shift. How much worse would it be for Becca, without any shifter blood in her at all?

He couldn't do that to her. She had a life and a business in Kalamazoo. Why would she give that up just to be shunned here? It didn't make sense, and he'd cut off his right arm before he made her miserable. Which meant the answer was clear.

He couldn't have her. He'd go back to what he had been doing, which was watching her from afar. Wanting her but knowing it was best for her sake to leave her be even as he taught her adopted son how to be a shifter.

If he'd cut off his right arm to make her happy, then how much harder could it be to cut out his heart?

B
ecca had never enjoyed housekeeping. It's not like anyone truly wanted to spend their day vacuuming or throwing out cans of food that had expired ten years ago. But she found a kind of peace in setting Carl's home in order. And if nothing else, she knew Alan appreciated her efforts. He said so when he came home for lunch. But he was running late, so there wasn't much time for anything but the usual “Is there any news?” and “Oh my God, this tastes great!” Neither of them had more information and Carl texted a big “nothing yet” every hour, which was enough to make her seriously crazy.

By midafternoon, the walls started closing in on her. She had to get out of the house or commit hara-kiri. So, taking Carl's truck, she headed out to the supermarket. Forcing the men to eat some fresh vegetables would be a good way for her to burn off excess energy. And she could pretend she was cooking for Theo, too. For when Carl brought him home safe and sound this evening.

She pulled into the Walmart parking lot and picked a spot well clear of other cars. She wasn't used to handling a truck and didn't want to damage it or another vehicle as she maneuvered the huge thing into a slot. An hour later, she was cursing the distance as she pushed her cart down the long row. The wind had picked up and her face burned from the cold. Odd that there were two more vehicles parked on either side of her, a truck and a van. There were lots of other spaces closer up and now she'd have to be extra careful not to sideswipe them as she backed out.

She was just running through her meatloaf recipe, trying to remember if there was any ketchup left back at the house, when the door to the truck on her right opened. A thick-jawed guy who seriously needed a haircut stepped out and nodded to her. She smiled vaguely back at him as she pressed the key fob to unlock the truck. And then she heard the door on the van and had her first stirring of alarm.

She turned to look, but it was already too late. Thick jaw guy moved fast, slapping a foul-smelling cloth over her face. She tried to scream, but barely got out a squeak. Her heartbeat slammed against her throat and her vision started fuzzing out. She managed a kick, feeling gratified when she heard an annoyed grunt, but that was all she got. She couldn't claw his arm away from her face and she couldn't stop breathing, whatever it was that fogged her mind.

Seconds later, the world went black.

A
unt Becca! Wake up!”

Becca groaned and pressed a hand to her forehead. What the hell had she been doing? She hadn't had a migraine this bad since she was fifteen.

“Shh! Don't talk yet. Just nod if you're okay.”

No, she wasn't okay. She felt like crap and Theo…
Theo!

Her eyes shot open, which apparently was a bad idea. Light stabbed through her eyeballs to attack her brain, and she slammed them shut again. Holy hell, she felt awful. But at least her brain was working.

“Theo?” she whispered, hoping like hell she hadn't imagined it.

“It's me.”

ThankGodThankGodThankGod!
He was alive. “Where are we?” All she'd gotten in her short blink was a flash of white on white and metal bars. It was that last part that bothered her. But Theo was alive and the relief of that had her lightheaded from joy. Or whatever shit it was they'd made her breathe.

“An abandoned salt mine. That's all I know. They're not real big on talking with the lab rats.”

She nodded slowly, then decided to risk another peek. Shielding her eyes with a hand, she slowly cracked them open. Every once in a while her migraines were so bad they made her retch. She didn't think that would be a good idea right now. She was probably going to need all her wits pretty soon, and that meant slowly taking stock of her surroundings without putting her on her knees over a bucket. If there even was a bucket.

She squinted and peered around.

There was a bucket about two feet away from her. And that was about it for her in this metal cage on a gray-white floor. Abandoned salt mine, huh? Well, she supposed there were worse places to be, though at the moment she couldn't think of any.

Meanwhile, her eyes adjusted enough that she could look farther away. There was another cage beside her and in it, a young man was flopped on his back, his hair matted with blood. Somehow it would have been better if he'd been curled in on himself, but he lay as if dropped and unable to move.

She choked back a sob at the sight. It wasn't Theo, that much she'd seen instantly, but the boy looked near death and she wanted to go help him.

“That's Caleb,” Theo said in a low voice. “He's not dead, so it's best if you just let him rest.”

“Where are you?” she asked, slowly moving her throbbing head. But as she did, a sharp pain from the crook of her arm cut through her consciousness. She looked and saw a telltale bandage there and she cursed under her breath.

“I don't think they gave you anything. Just took a ton of blood to test,” Theo said.

She was finally able to locate her nephew by the sound of his voice. Tilting her head up, she saw another cage, only this one was a great deal larger. Not big enough for a person to stand, but at least Theo had plenty of room to crouch forward against the bars.

“Theo,” she whispered, scanning him from head to toe. He looked pale and bruised, plus his hands were raw. Even crouched as he was, she could see that he'd lost weight. No baby fat left on her boy anywhere. He had bandages at the crooks of both elbows and, now that she looked closely, she realized that he was naked and covered in raw welts. It took her a moment to place what might have caused them, and when she did, the fury was nearly blinding. “Did they… Was that… a cattle prod?”

He flushed and tried to cover his wounds, but there were simply too many. And that made her all the more livid. To think that he'd be ashamed of what they'd done to him. My God, she was going to kill them!

“It looks worse than it is,” he said.

“Is there anything else? Are you hurt? Did they beat you?” She searched her memory for every scrap of medical information she had. There wasn't much. All she knew about emergency medicine she'd gotten from TV.

“I'm okay,” he said, his words low and urgent. “Keep your voice down. You want them to think you're still asleep.”

She nodded and pressed her lips together. But the sight of his battered body made her want to wail. And find a gun. She did neither. Instead, she tried to focus more on their surroundings. There wasn't much to see. Just long rows of cages, all of them empty except for her, Theo, and Caleb. Then, twisting as much as she could, she picked out what she guessed were two doors, one on either end of the large room. That was the extent of her reconnaissance.

“There was another boy. Caleb's brother.” Theo's voice choked up as he spoke.

“I know,” she said. That must be the boy who'd died at the farm. “We found him, but were too late to…” Her voice trailed away. Too late to save the child. Too late to find Theo. And now she was trapped here, too. “They're looking for you—Carl, the police, everyone. We almost found you before. They'll find you now. We just have to hold on a bit longer.”

Theo's eyes went wide with hope, and for a moment, he looked like that little boy who'd just lost his mother years ago. The one who had put all his faith and trust in her, even though everything had just been shattered.

“We'll be fine,” she repeated as much to herself as him. “Carl will find us.”

“Who's Carl?” he asked. Trust the boy to hit on the one awkward part of the whole conversation.

“He's Mr. Max. He's been part of the search from the very beginning.” She stretched out her legs as much as she could in this narrow space. If she stayed on her side, bent at the waist, she could just do it. She was pleasantly surprised to see that she wasn't bruised or hurt in any way except at the elbow. That was something. Though God knew how long that would last. “What do they want with us?”

“I, um…We're being studied. Caleb and me.” He took a shuddering breath. “I think they did something to me, Aunt Becca. I think they made me into something…awful.”

She looked over at him. He was trying to be brave. She could see it so clearly on his face, even though he was terrified. But in this one respect, she had to tell him the truth. She couldn't let him look at himself like some kind of monster. “You mean because you can shift into a grizzly bear? Is that it? Because if it is, that's not something terrible. It's wonderful.” She looked over at Caleb. “And he's a werewolf, right?”

Theo's eyes were wide and he could barely get the words out. “You knew?”

She shook her head. “Not until a few days ago. Right after you went missing, Mr. Max came and explained things. He said…” She smiled at Theo, trying to show him with just her eyes and her words that she would love him no matter what kind of biology he had. Human, bear, wolf, or anything else. “He said you were on the verge of your First Change.”

“Into a bear? It's not…you know…lycanthropy or something?”

“No, sweetie. I don't think so. But when Carl gets us out, he'll explain it to you. He's a bear, too. As are a lot of people. He says your father was one of them, and they've been watching over you since you were first born.”

Theo's eyes narrowed and his hands gripped the bars, twisting as if he could work them free. They didn't budge, and she could see his brows lower in fury. “My father did this to me?” he asked, his voice low and rough. “And Mr. Max?”

“No, no. They'd didn't
do
it to you. It's something you
are
. It's something they are.”

“A freak?”

“Never! Theo, you have to calm down.” But it was too late. She could see his emotions getting away from him. His hands were thick where they gripped the bars and as she watched, they got larger and darker. She looked to his eyes and saw them turn golden brown. His nose lengthened and dark fur spouted everywhere.

He was shifting and in that confined space, he wasn't going to fit. Plus, she knew if she and Theo were going to have a chance to escape, it wouldn't be with him unconscious after the bastards used their cattle prod on him. Carl had said that shifters could change only once a day at best. That the change took too much out of them. And it was clear that Theo needed to conserve his energy. He was thinner than she'd ever seen him and this wasn't going to help. So it was time for her to go into Mommy mode.

“Theodore Samuel Weitz, you will settle down this instant!” Her voice was sharp and cold. Theo's head snapped up immediately, his eyes pinned on her, but he didn't stop growling deep in his throat. “Don't you dare take that tone with me, young man. You will sit down on your bottom and think, do you hear me? You will use your brain or so help me, I will climb out of this cage and flick you hard right on your nose.”

The absurdity of that threat wasn't lost on her. She couldn't get out of her cage and no way was a finger snap on his nose going to do anything. But it was the only physical punishment she'd ever used. It was the shame of it that settled Theo down when he was ten. And it was the tone—she hoped—that made it through to the bear.

It worked.

He dropped down onto his butt and stared at her. A moment later, his nose seemed to recede and his ears returned to full human. Odd how she was starting to pick up the little changes more than the big ones. But she'd been studying Theo's face since he was a baby. Of course she'd notice every little thing. She didn't speak again until he was fully human.

“I know you're angry,” she said softly. “I am, too. But you need to conserve your strength. We'll get our chance soon. I promise.”

Theo swallowed and turned his face away. Then a moment later, he looked back at her, hope once again burning hot and wild in his hazel eyes. “Promise?” he whispered.

“I promise. Mr. Max won't let us down.”

“But what if—”

“Hssst,” she said. “Stop questioning that. You can ask about anything else, Theo, but don't doubt for a second that we're getting out of here. Do you understand?”

He nodded twice, just like he had when he was ten and she'd told him he was going to live with her and they were going to be so happy together. “I understand.”

“Good,” she said, her voice dropping to a quieter tone. “Now tell me everything that's happened to you so far. Everything. Starting from how they found you.”

His story turned out to be remarkably like hers. He'd been walking to practice and then there'd been four guys on him and a cloth over his face. He'd woken up some time later in the Moss compound basement with the two wolf boys. There was a mad scientist—his words—and lots of bastards with cattle prods. He'd shifted only once and that had freaked him out so much that he'd slept on and off for the next two days. He'd even slept for most of the move from the farmhouse to here, though he suspected that was because they'd drugged his food.

He'd woken a few hours ago when they brought her in. He'd watched when they drew blood from her arm, and then he'd waited until they'd left to try to wake her. Which brought them up to now.

She suspected that he left a lot of the details out. She didn't know whether to be thankful or to push him for every last detail so she could figure things out. But that was silly. She wasn't James Bond or even Tonya the pissy cop. She was a human baker who wasn't going to martial arts her way out of this mess. She didn't have the skills.

All she could do was keep Theo calm and wait for their opportunity. Because one would come. It had to.

Hurry up, Carl. Find us!