The Beast Within (8 page)

“Give us some time,
Cielito
.”

“All right.” Matthew’s gaze flicked between the pair of them and finally settled, confidant and trusting, on Carlos. “I’ll go get you a replacement front door. This one is beyond repair.”

Carlos gestured to his back pocket where his wallet rested. Matthew waved it away with a smile. It was all too comfortable. Too familiar. Aaron looked at the tiles.

“I’ll be back in twenty.” Matthew pulled the bathroom door shut behind him.

Chapter Ten

Trinity

“‘Sweetheart’?” It was the first coherent word that crawled out of his terror-paralyzed mouth, and Aaron wanted to shove it back in there with the screams that still bubbled at the edge of his throat.

“Aaron…” Carlos began.

“No.” Aaron waved a hand.
You cared for me, but didn’t love me. I made it too hard to be loved. I was a freak having regular freak-outs. I attacked members of your clan, your family. You fought for me, risked your position, your authority, your respect. You protected me from everyone, including myself. If I ever loved you, and I know I did, I can’t deny you happiness now. Even though it pisses me off to no extent, go ahead and be happy.
All of these things were what he was supposed to say. They rushed through his mind in a split-second, but never made it to his lips. “No. It’s okay.”

Aaron stood and turned off the shower. The overspray had soaked the floor at the tub’s edge. He dropped a towel onto the puddle and mopped it up with his foot, grateful for a reason not to look at Carlos.

“Are you all right?” Carlos asked.

“Better now,” he said. “Why are you here?”

“I came because we have wolf business to discuss. I didn’t bring Matthew to rub anything in. I would have left him home if I could. But, he is Beta, and is the second strongest in the pack. I needed that.”

“I don’t understand.” Aaron picked up the sodden towel and slung it over the curtain rod. He wanted to ask about the threat Carlos spoke of, but his mind couldn’t leave Matthew. “You two were alpha and beta for how many years?”

“Forty.”

“And you never got together until just a month after I left town? That’s odd, to say the least.” He had a hard time hiding the hurt in his voice. It didn’t matter. Carlos was well aware of how he expressed pain. Aaron was certain it was written all over his body, redolent in his scent.

“We had been together well before that.”

“Are you saying you cheated on him with me?” Now Aaron was looking at Carlos, and the expression on his former lover’s face did nothing to ease his internal torment. “Right in front of him?”

“
Mi hombre
, sixty years is a long time for a couple to be together without growing bored. Matthew and I have drifted apart and back together several times.”

Aaron studied his former lover’s slender face. Carlos was nearly a hundred years old. The wolf was deeply ingrained within him. Matthew was not much younger, and also a very lupine man. It made sense they would be together, for no one could understand the mind of an alpha like another male of near age and status, not even an alpha female—which was a historically scarce thing in Carlos’ clan. Pack business forced the leaders to be close, to develop a tight bond of mutual trust which undoubtedly fostered other feelings of closeness. As much as he hated it, Aaron understood that part. What he was having trouble with was how they could forsake each other over and over, yet still come back together like nothing was wrong. That, and how his entire relationship with Carlos now seemed contrived, scheduled to fail.

His mind inadvertently turned to Tony, and the hurt he would feel if Tony were to spurn him out of boredom. Although it was an unpleasant sensation, it somehow made facing Carlos a little easier.

“So then why are you and Matthew here?”

“Can we go somewhere else?” Carlos gestured to their surroundings with a wry grin.

Aaron took in the dripping showerhead, the limp towel, his borrowed and now thoroughly dampened track pants. He couldn’t resist a small smile in return. “So, my standards aren’t high enough for the alpha of the Trinity Clan?”

“Your standards are perfect,” Carlos said. His face sobered. “I’m sorry it turned out like this.”

Aaron nodded. “Go on into the living room. There are sodas and stuff in the fridge, harder stuff in the far left upper cabinet if you want. I’m going to change my clothes and then I’ll be out.”

Once safe behind the closed bedroom door, Aaron exhaled a shaky breath.

“Shit.” He borrowed Tony’s interjection, breathed it softly so Carlos’ wolf ears didn’t pick it up. He leaned against the jamb for a moment until the shakiness subsided. He hadn’t had a panic attack since he’d left California. It was strange he would relapse on the night Carlos came to town. Maybe some connection inside him noted the pack leader’s presence, stirred up the old ghost.

He pulled a pair of clean jeans from his dresser and a loose button-up from his closet. He left his feet bare, as the dark thing had taught him distaste for suffocating shoes. He looked in the mirror and gave a quick swipe to his hair. The banal sandy locks fell right back into chaos, and he let them be. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone. Not anymore.

He opened the door to find Carlos on the couch, a mixed drink in hand. He watched Aaron approach, swirling the glass so the ice clinked rhythmically against the glass.

“You look good,
mi hombre
,” he said as Aaron sat in the armchair opposite him.

No more ‘guapo’ for you.
Out loud, Aaron replied, “I feel good. Aside from tonight’s little freak fest, I’ve been in control.”

“You shifted today.” It wasn’t a question.

“Earlier. To save my partner.”

“You let a Kapre agent see you shift?” Carlos’ voice lost the friendly edge and took on the authoritative growl of the alpha.

“It was necessary. He won’t say anything.”

“How do you know that?”

Because he already had me handcuffed to a pipe and didn’t bother to call it in.
“We’re friends.”

“Fast friends, eh?” Carlos agitated the ice cubes until they rattled like teeth in the cold. “People who are quick to help oftentimes want something from you.”

“Kind of like how you were quick to take me in?”

“Ah, you get sharper every day.” Carlos smiled. “Do you remember how I found you?”

“How can I forget?”

“You were in the hospital, under observation. They had you listed as a bear-mauling survivor. But I had heard of the real attack and was looking out for survivors…”

“You mean new pack members.”

“Yes,” Carlos agreed. “When I got word of you, I came to see you.”

“You looked like an English teacher with those little round vanity glasses and that stupid brown sweater.”

“You asked me if I was the chaplain, if I remember correctly. Said you wanted nothing to do with God.”

“No, I said God wanted nothing to do with me.”

“That’s right.” Carlos nodded. “That’s right. But, even in your despondency you talked with me for a bit, about how you felt inside. I told you I could smell the wolf in you, mixing in with your human blood. I’ve never smelled it stronger within a person. It was fighting with you, devouring you. You wanted it to.”

“Death would have been preferable in those first days.” Aaron leaned forward. “You talked me out of killing myself what? Four? Five times? And then once you got me released from the hospital I tried death by werewolf with pretty much everyone in the pack.”

“They all knew your pain and were sorry for it. They never would have killed you.” Carlos chuckled. “Kicked your ass, yes. But never murdered you.”

“You treated me well. When we ended, I knew it was for the best, for you especially. We both needed new starts. I came here a month ago and earned clearance, one grueling test at a time. I started my new job and have had a supremely interesting first day. The thing is, I trust my new partner instinctually, the way I trusted you. You’re going to have to accept that. I left California and the Trinity Clan. You’re not my alpha, anymore, and there are no clans around here. That means this town is my territory. My decisions hold sway in Grange, not yours. I’ll listen to your advice, but you’re not in charge. If I say I trust Tony, then that’s the end of it.”

“Very well.” Carlos’ expression was difficult to read, but he remained seated. Aaron took it as a good sign.

“I like it here. I have a home, and a job I enjoy. All of the wounds of the past eight months were finally healing, but then you showed up and in twenty minutes have managed to rip most of them open again.” Carlos moved to speak, but he cut him off. “It’s okay, if what you’re here for is important.” He took a deep breath and fixed Carlos with a glare he hoped was more intimidating than it felt. “It had better be important, Carlos.”

They stared at each other, tension building between them. Carlos was sizing him up, wondering if he was challenging his position in the Trinity Clan, posturing for a fight. Aaron did not look away, but also did not make any move that could be construed as aggression. He didn’t want a fight. He didn’t want to make up. He just wanted Carlos gone as soon as possible.

Something banged at the bottom of the entrance stairwell. They both froze, nostrils flaring, ears tuned to the sound. A few clangs later, Matthew appeared, a white exterior door in his hands.

“I found a match pretty easily at the home improvement store around the corner. Apparently all of these new apartments use one standard door ty…” Matthew trailed off. “I’ll, uh, just install this later, then?” He stood awkwardly holding the door as if he hoped to disappear behind it.

Like all werewolves, Matthew appeared to be much younger than his actual nonagenarian status. His sun-bleached wavy hair and bronze tan made it seem as if the fine lines etched above his high cheekbones were from two decades spent squinting against the sun from a surfboard, rather than from an old werewolf finally showing the first signs of age. He had a good-natured, honest personality that had endeared itself to Aaron, made him one of his preferred babysitters when he was going off the deep end.

“Aaron,” Matthew said, putting aside the door and coming to stand beside his chair. “I’m sorry for any pain my presence is causing you. Carlos wanted me here, so I’m here. But, I can be outside the door—once I fix it—and still be here. I won’t blame you for not welcoming me into your home.”

“Would you two stop being so nice?” Aaron blurted. His burst of irritation faded as he looked from one surprised face to the other. “I’m sorry. Sit down, Matthew. Just, can we please get to why you’re here?”

Carlos nodded at his second, and Matthew took his place beside the alpha, sitting close enough to convey the sense of a unified front, but nothing more.

“When Kapre California was attacked, we knew that it was the doing of the Six Rivers clan,” Carlos began. “Six Rivers and Trinity have always had an uneasy co-existence. When their Alpha died a year ago, we knew there would be eventual problems.”

“You said their new alpha was the best turd in a pool of assholes,” Aaron said.

Carlos laughed. “Did I phrase it so gracefully?”

Matthew nodded in confirmation.

“Well, it is the truth,” Carlos said. “They have more wolves than we. More money. More power. The leaders have chosen to raise their pups as privileged little brats who think nothing of kin and clan, but only of themselves. Their greed and aversion to hard work is outmatched only by their ignorance. Once Steven Wilkes died, apparently the Six Rivers clan went through a period of extreme upheaval, where fast succession of leaders took place. In the end, two older wolves died, most of us believe suspiciously. When Wilkes’ pups had finished duking it out, two of them were dead as well, and one was severely disfigured. Brandon—Steven’s most spoiled, irresponsible, inexperienced middle pup—somehow emerged as alpha. Then he got straight to fucking things up.

“When Kapre fell, we assumed it was a strike coordinated by Brandon. However, some of the nuances of the attack didn’t fit Brandon’s M O.”

“Like how it is an almost Herculean task for Brandon to multiply seven times nine,” Matthew offered. “And then there’s the fact he got past Kapre’s extensive security system, something only a cleared Kapre agent or a powerful mage could accomplish. We’ve talked about this before, Carlos. Brandon is not competent enough to haven taken down Kapre on his own.”

“And I still agree with you,” Carlos answered. He turned to Aaron. “The rest of the clan is beginning to see our point of view, as well. Six Rivers is on the move.”

“What do you mean?” Aaron asked.

“They’ve struck camp, bailed out of California,” Matthew replied.

“Where are they heading?”

“Where they have gone is the better question,” Carlos said. He swirled his drink. His lupine-warm hand had all but melted the ice and it clinked weakly against the sides. “They are here,
mi hombre
. They have come to the home of Kapre’s Maryland branch.”

“Why?” Aaron looked from one were to the other. Anxiety built in his chest as his thoughts secured around the most likely scenario.

“We think they’re looking to take out Kapre once again.”

The room dimmed. Aaron’s vision pulled in until Carlos’ face was a blur at the end of a long, black tunnel.

It couldn’t be. Not again. He couldn’t…

Aaron jumped up and ran to the bathroom. He flipped the toilet lid and retched all his empty stomach had to offer—a thin stream of bile—into the bowl. He flushed the toilet with a shaking hand, then turned on the tap.

Carlos and Matthew murmured together on the couch. Aaron couldn’t make out most of the words, but what did convey was doubt regarding his mental strength.

He rinsed his mouth and looked up to meet the wide, brown eyes staring back at him.

Like a deer caught in headlights. Rather, like a deer before the wolf’s mouth closes around its jugular.

Except this time you’re not a deer.

The latter thought, surfacing from nowhere, caused Aaron to straighten and look harder at his reflection. He could almost see the shadow of the beast shifting behind his gaze. He relaxed his mind, then let surface the anxiety and anger that had been building in him since Carlos broke down his door. His vision momentarily blurred, then keenly sharpened. He stared at the transformation staring back at him—yellow orbs bisected with a pitch ellipse.