The Beauty Within (19 page)

was little more than a fetish dating site. I, along with probably thousands of

women, got conned real good for that.”

“Ty—”

“But I can’t pin it all on the site, can I? There’s something to be said for

when a man looks at you with lust…knowing that for at least a few hours, you

are desirable and wanted…you’re good enough for
somebody
for some time…”

Gunnar couldn’t take listening to anymore, so he kissed her softly into si-

lence. Tyler broke the kiss quickly though, shaking her head and trying to

move from his lap.

“No…”

“Tyler, look at me.”

“No.”

Savannah J. Frierson

Gunnar turned her face to his anyway, cursing the boy from eighth grade,

Quincy Lucas, those later men, himself…society in general. What was wrong

with people they couldn’t just accept others for who they were? He’d also been

caught up in the madness. Living in LA and being a model…it’d been hard not

to treat image as king, and most people were so vapid or vindictive that all one

had
was looks. He’d been brainwashed and jaded into that thinking, and he’d

almost missed out on knowing, to him, one of the most beautiful women he’d

ever met.

“Tyler—”

“It’s hard enough to be a black woman in the dating game,” she started, as

if she hadn’t heard him, or if she had, she didn’t want to hear what he had to

say. “And then you’re thick on top of it. So that’s an automatic two strikes

against you. I know I said I came to your gym to get healthy, but I would be

lying if I didn’t admit there was some aesthetic motivation going on too—”

“You’re beautiful, Tyler,” Gunnar blurted.

She snorted and nodded sarcastically. “Quincy said that too. Said he loved

the way I looked. Yesterday.
Yesterday
. Took me to a fancy restaurant to butter

me up…as if six fuckin’ years hadn’t passed—”

Gunnar kissed her again,
definitely
in no mood to hear about Quincy Lucas’s

attempts to right a very gross wrong.

When they broke the kiss, it seemed as if her eyes had gone even flatter.

“Don’t tell me you have a fat fetish too.”

“I have a Tyler fetish,” Gunnar said.

“Right…”

He framed her face with tender hands, his thumbs ghosting over the phan-

tom tear tracks on her cheeks. “Okay, so fetish is
really
not the right word.

Maybe addiction? Compulsion? Necessity? Desire? All the above?” He sighed

and touched his forehead to hers. “When I heard you cry on my machine, all I

thought about was you. Fuck my hangover or the fact I’d barely slept or the

fact I hadn’t eaten since five the night before…you needed me, and I needed to

be there for you.”

“I’d call to cancel,” she whispered, though Gunnar knew it was more for

her benefit than his.

“I don’t want you to cancel on me,” he said, drifting his nose along hers.

“Never, ever that.”

“And what about when those few hours are up?” Tyler said, pulling back

and looking at him sadly. “When that desire fades…what then, Gunnar?”

He could tell her that he doubted his desire would ever fade, that other

emotions would grow…that he could admit to feeling what Damon had said he

felt.

But she wouldn’t believe him anyway.

The Beauty Within

103

Tyler made to leave his lap and this time he let her. He sat up, his forearms

resting on the tops of his thighs, and he watched her stare at him with her

arms hugging her body.

“What would you like to eat?”

She left him sitting there, however, not waiting for him to answer.

Talk about verbal diarrhea at its finest! Tyler hit the heel of her hand

against her forehead repeatedly as she put the frozen pizza in the oven. Maybe

she could stay in here for the full thirty minutes…avoid the man who was

sitting in her den setting up a “movie marathon” for them to watch as they ate

their late lunch/early dinner.

When she’d called to cancel the session, the absolute last thing she’d ex-

pected was for Gunnar to come to see how she was. Because of the uneasy

tenor in their relationship recently, she’d started to put Gunnar in the “former”

list. The scarier thing about that, however, was his entry would’ve been the

second one that would’ve had a big impact on her life. Of course, the first was

the man who had started this “woe is me” funk in the first place.

She couldn’t believe Damon had opened his big mouth and told Gunnar

about Quincy! And knowing Damon, he probably exaggerated a whole bunch

of things to make Quincy come off as Satan himself! Though to be fair, she’d

felt he was when they had broken up; and if she were honest with herself, she

wasn’t quite sure if that opinion had changed overly much.

The date had been interesting and confusing and conflicting and nothing

like the make-up fantasies she’d had. Resentment? yes. Wistfulness? definitely.

Unmitigated joy? not so much. What was wrong with her that she couldn’t

revel in an ex-boyfriend’s unhappiness? She’d been miserable for the better

part of six years, and the knowledge he hadn’t been happy either didn’t have

her screaming, “How you like
them
apples!” as she had assumed it would.

She still cared for Quincy, against her better judgment and sound logic. She

couldn’t brush him off as she had with all the other men she’d known, maybe

because part of her believed what he said about having feelings for her. Perhaps

it was wishful thinking on her part, but she’d needed to hear what they had

shared wasn’t as forgettable as he’d tried to think when they had ended. It

seemed he’d believed their breakup was only temporary, but unfortunately for

Quincy, her heart hadn’t been able to wait.

Maybe her love for Quincy wasn’t as strong as she thought it had been,

after all.

“I hope you don’t plan on hiding out in here.”

Tyler jumped slightly and turned to the kitchen door. Gunnar filled up the

space so completely. Though he didn’t have Quincy’s full height, he was not a

104

Savannah J. Frierson

short man by any stretch, and the muscles he had more than made up for the

lack of length.

It was awful to say there were distinct similarities between Quincy and

Gunnar, the main of which was the fact that whenever they had touched her

she would always feel like the only woman in the world to them. The differ-

ence was, Quincy had made her feel that way in the past, while Gunnar made

her feel that way
now
.

She tried not to entertain thoughts of relationships, especially not with

Gunnar Daniels. She saw even less of a chance of that future than with getting

back with Quincy. If Quincy had had a problem dating her, how in the world

would this white, gorgeous, personal trainer-gym owner not have a problem

with her, either?

He approached her slowly, but she had unwittingly fit herself into a cor-

ner, and his eyes practically pinned her to the floor.

“Are you hiding from me?” he asked, though there was some amusement in

his voice.

“Waiting for the pizza.”

“Doesn’t it take about thirty minutes for these things to cook?”

She didn’t answer him.

He shrugged and stood next to her, his elbows resting against the counter

and his legs crossed at his ankles. “Well then, I’ll wait with you. Doesn’t make

sense to start the movie only to stop it because you need to get food.”

She stared at the refrigerator while he stared at her, neither speaking much

as the minutes ticked. It was disconcerting to feel his gaze on her, but not in an

overly negative way. He began whistling, and she grinned. He was good at it.

“Is that a smile?”

Tyler pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, but her mouth’s corners

were upturned anyway.

“You can’t hide it,
elskling
,” Gunnar said, touching one corner of her smile.

“You’re smiling.”

His finger went from the corner to the meaty center of her lip, and Tyler

closed her eyes. Little zings emanated from the spot where he touched her, and

she bit her tongue so she wouldn’t drift it over his finger.

“Quincy Lucas
er
dum
,” he murmured, so softly she sensed he hadn’t meant

that comment to be audible.

“What did you say?”

He gave her a small smile and kissed her nose. “Quincy Lucas is a fool.”

Unable to help herself, she set gentle hands at his waist. He smiled and

moved his nose to rub against hers.

She’d missed the closeness and intimacy with another person…another

man. She missed someone holding her as if she were the most precious thing in

the world. She missed being someone’s most precious thing. At first, she’d been

her father’s, though she rightfully shared that spot with Wendy. Then she’d

The Beauty Within

105

been Quincy’s, until he’d found a more “precious” thing, being his job and

ambition. God help her if she were to become Gunnar’s precious thing…she

didn’t know if she would be able to handle it.

“The pizza smells good,” Gunnar whispered against her temple. He’d

brought her deep in the circle of his arms, and Tyler felt so warm and safe

inside them. His muscles were hard and yielding at the same time, and it was

all she could do not to burrow her cheek against his shoulder and chest.

“It’s actually the store brand,” Tyler confessed. “Healthier…I thought of you

when I bought it.”

“Hmm,” Gunnar said with amusement. “What else do you buy while think-

ing of me?”

She would
not
dignify that with a response, but since he chuckled and

kissed the top of her head, Tyler realized he hadn’t been expecting one.

They remained standing that way, with Gunnar rubbing her back at times,

until the pizza was done. She pulled it out while he took down dishes and

filled glasses with water. They sat on the couch in front of the television once

everything was settled. The first movie of the marathon was
The Matrix
.

Tyler smiled internally at the choice. It had been a long time since she’d

seen it, and she was glad Gunnar had chosen action instead of something either

sappy or serious. They ate their pizza in silence as they watched the movie,

Gunnar getting up at one point to get napkins and telling her she didn’t need

to pause the movie. When they finished eating, they waited until the movie

ended to clean the dishes together, Gunnar standing very close to her as he had

before. She was just as nervous this time as she had been the last, but along

with it, there was tension she knew only he could break.

Tyler mentally chastised herself. She knew she was in a vulnerable state,

and she wouldn’t put herself in a position to be used again. Not that she

thought Gunnar was the type, but right now, at that moment, sexual comfort

was the last thing she needed. Yes, it had been two years since her last sexual

experience, and Gunnar had been the first man besides Quincy for whom she’d

had real feelings, but she would be doing him and herself a disservice if she

gave into the attraction she felt for him today.

Tomorrow, however, was fair game.

Damp hands closed over her shoulders and squeezed. “Come back…”

He’d said it as if he were an echo, causing Tyler to laugh and slap his fo-

rearm. “What’s the next movie?”

Gunnar waggled his eyebrows and took her hand as they returned to the

den. He sat her on the couch before going to her DVD player and putting in

another movie. As soon as the previews came up she grinned broadly.

“Good choice, Mr. Daniels,” she commended.

“Touché, Ms. Carver.”

Coming to America
would never be unfunny, and both were cracking up as if

it had been the first time they had ever seen it. Tyler was dying at the fact

106

Savannah J. Frierson

Gunnar could do the impressions to a tee, and soon they were both saying the

lines in time with the actors on the screen. Even after the movie ended, they

were still reciting dialogue.

“I needed that,” Tyler said, wiping away a tear as she leaned back against

the couch.

“That’s partly why I chose it. To see your smile and hear your laugh.”

Tyler’s smile softened as she looked at the bookcase across from her. He

was full of surprises. “I can’t believe you knew all the words!”

“Are you kidding? The movie’s a classic! You know how many times me

and the guys would watch this instead of game footage? If we really got drunk

enough, we’d even act them out!”

Tyler giggled and pressed a hand to her eyes. “What I wouldn’t give to see

that!”

Lips on her temple made her pull her hand away from her face in surprise.

“Maybe you will, yet” he said with a wink. Gunnar stood and put another

movie in the player, but she didn’t ask what the film was. He’d been two for

two so far, so she would wait to be pleasantly surprised.

She chuckled when she realized what the movie was. “You’re determined

to get me to laugh, aren’t you?”

“Yup.”

“You could just tickle me and—” Damn. She should’ve never told him that,

especially since he’d raised an eyebrow and gave her an appraising, calculating