The Beginning (36 page)

“Honestly Jaax, we cannot go wandering through these woods at night. She could be anywhere, let’s just wait until morning.”

Jahrra detected something insincere behind the feigned concern in Shiroxx’s voice. She’d had plenty of practice from listening to the children at school as they tried to impress Eydeth and Ellysian. She wondered if Jaax could detect this deception as well. She was a little disappointed when it seemed he had not.

“Very well,” he said on a sigh. “But she’ll get the bad end of it in the morning.”

Jaax started to move back towards the Ruin, but Shiroxx held back. The dark form that was Jaax turned to look back at the other, waiting patiently for her to speak.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind watching the stars from that clearing over there. Would you like to join me? I have forgotten most of the names of the old constellations, do you know them?”

The voice was perfect sweet politeness and had such an inviting charm that Jahrra made a face.
So
, she thought haughtily,
maybe Jaax does have a life outside of Oescienne after all. She suits him. Those two stuffy, assuming creatures can go live in the wilds of Felldreim for all I care.

Jaax’s dark form nodded once and then headed back towards the other dragon. Despite her better judgment, and due to her overwhelming sense of curiosity, Jahrra continued after them. She knew it was very rude of her, but she couldn’t help it. If they continued their discussion, perhaps she would learn what Shiroxx had been talking about earlier, about an icy mountaintop and why Jaax had wanted to come back to Oescienne.

Jahrra continued silently through the field until she reached the edge of the tree line, crossing the small foot bridge over the Danu Creek as the dragons crossed the larger road bridge. She made her way from one shadowy trunk to the next, making sure she was silent as she moved further and further away from her awaiting bed and closer to the dragons. After several minutes, Jaax and his companion reached the tiny meadow at the edge of the forest and stopped. Jahrra had stopped too, no longer able to rely on the noise of the dragons’ footfalls to drown out her own racket. She strained her ears, listening for their voices once again, but they were just out of earshot.

Drat!
she thought.
They’ll surely see and hear me if I turn back now.
But she didn’t want to turn back; she wanted to hear what they were saying. Jahrra took a deep breath and slowly began to inch towards them. She knew that if she made any sound at all they would hear her, and with her luck, wouldn’t just dismiss her as a scavenging animal. After several minutes of slow and patient progress, Jahrra had edged within twenty feet of the pair and could now clearly make out what was being said.

“ . . . I don’t see why you must stay connected to this child, Raejaax. Hroombra obviously has everything under control–”

“You can’t possibly believe that, Shiroxx!” Jaax cut in irritably. “She does anything and everything that flies into her mind.”

“Jaax, I only wish you wouldn’t worry so much. When was the last time you took a break from this chaos you call your life?” Shiroxx asked pleasantly. “In fact, I believe we all need a vacation. It’s been seventeen years and nothing has happened, I think we can relax our guard a little.”

Jaax didn’t answer, but growled and moved away. He turned his back on the smaller form across from him and stared further into the starry, moonlit sky.

“Raejaax,” Shiroxx said calmly, a pleading note in her voice.

Jaax interrupted in a cool tone that gave Jahrra chills. “Shiroxx, what you want can never happen, and I’m not talking about taking time off from our duty to Jahrra. You’re grasping at something that cannot be had. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid it will always be that way.”

As Jahrra listened to Jaax’s cold words, she couldn’t help but feel a little bit sorry for Shiroxx and a little bit guilty she had eavesdropped on this private conversation. Her reaction was both one of irritation and confusion, for although Jahrra had decided she didn’t like this new dragon, she disliked Jaax even more for his harsh rejection. What he had just said was spoken without kindness, and it only added fuel to the fire of Jahrra’s dislike of him.

Her anger was only fleeting, however, because she was focused on something else they had said, something that confused her. What had Jaax meant by “Our duty to Jahrra”?
Whose duty? And what duty to me?
If anything, Jahrra was even more perplexed than before. She gritted her teeth and tried to keep from going crazy.

“Very well,” Shiroxx answered after some time, matching Jaax’s chilling tone.

The female dragon turned her back on him, slowly making her way back towards Jahrra. Jahrra froze for just a second, but then quickly shifted out of the dim moonlight. She settled behind a screen of black leaves and took this opportunity to look the strange dragon over. She resembled Jaax, smaller with less prominent features, but built in the same athletic way that he was. Jahrra would guess she was reddish in color, for she looked dark purple in the dim light of the moon. She walked with ease and a sort of grace, something Jahrra didn’t expect from such a large reptile.

Shiroxx stopped and turned her head back towards Jaax’s brooding shape. He still stared at the stars, sitting down now, with his back to her.

“She’ll never make your dreams come true either Jaax, those ridiculous ambitions of yours,” she said with some spite. “She’ll never be the one to heal the wounds of your past, no matter how much you hope for it. She is of a weak race as you very well know; you’ve studied enough of their history. Time to wake up Jaax, for dreams are only real when you are asleep.”

Shiroxx spread her wings and took off into the night. Jahrra watched closely as her dark figure disappeared into the black sky, and then she stole a glance at Jaax. He stared at the stars like a great frozen jade statue, their faint light caught in his eyes the way a mirror captures the faint flicker of a distant candle. Not once did he turn his head to watch Shiroxx leave. Jahrra stared at his still silhouette, growing more and more bewildered as the minutes passed. Sometimes, but only on very rare occasions, she wished she could read the dragon Jaax’s thoughts.

Jahrra turned and quietly made her way back to the Castle Guard Ruin, her mind once again ablaze with questions. Who exactly had this Shiroxx been and why was Jaax angry with her for coming here? Why was there so much friction between them? What had she meant about Jaax’s dreams coming true? What dreams could the boring, dry Tanaan dragon possibly have, and what part, if any, could she, a simple Nesnan, play in them? And even though she was a simple Nesnan, Shiroxx had no right to imply that Nesnans were weak. Did she not just beat a plethora of Resai in the most competitive race in all of Oescienne? It all made her head hurt.

Jahrra tiptoed through the main room of the Ruin fifteen minutes later, trying hard to put these thoughts behind her.
Hopefully someday I’ll have all these questions answered, but not now
, she told herself, her mind limp with exhaustion. Luckily, she was too tired to let these feelings keep her awake. As soon as her head hit her pillow, Jahrra was fast asleep, her troubles, for now, long forgotten.

-
Chapter Sixteen
-

Eydeth’s Confession

The next morning, Jahrra rose late to find Jaax and Hroombra reclining before the large fireplace. She shuffled into the common room, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Both dragons looked up at her with shrouded eyes. Jahrra lowered her head. The entirety of the day before hit her like a blast of icy wind, shocking her into full consciousness. She stood rigid, forgetting her grogginess, and shot a quick look at Jaax. He had the same granite hardness to his gaze as always and Jahrra wondered if he was feeling guilty for what he’d said to the dragon Shiroxx the night before. Jahrra turned her eyes to the ground and set her face in determined irritation, shutting her mind off to the scolding she was about to receive from both her mentor and Jaax.

“Risky”, “Foolish”, and “Disrespectful” were among the long list of words that fell through the thick veil of thought that surrounded her, but that was about all Jahrra heard from them. She was too busy focusing on what she’d heard the night before. After a few minutes, however, her bubble of contemplation was suddenly burst with the sound of Hroombra’s stern voice.

“Jahrra, you will have to learn to mind what Jaax tells you. He’ll be staying with us for a few months, and I insist that you treat him with respect.”

“What?!” Jahrra shot her head up in surprise, her eyes wide with horror.

Jaax merely gazed down at her from where he sat as if her loathsome reaction had puzzled him.

Jahrra caught herself just in time, and instead of making a complaint, she inquired through gritted teeth, “Why will he be staying so long? Doesn’t he have more important things to do?”

Jahrra tried not to sound bitter or frantic, but she was afraid her sarcasm rang clear. Hroombra gave her a disturbed look and she quickly dropped her head again.

“He has important matters here as well, Young Jahrra,” the old dragon answered quietly. He took a tired breath, releasing it slowly. “Go now, we’ll not hold you any longer. You know that you have done something wrong, and I don’t expect you to do anything like it again.”

Hroombra sounded a little angry, a little weary, and Jahrra nodded solemnly before she disappeared through the door, not looking at Jaax as she left. She went straight to Phrym’s stable and saddled him for a ride to somewhere far away from the Ruin and far away from the grumpy dragons.

An hour later she was sitting tensely upon Phrym, watching waves crash upon the ocean shore just west of Lake Ossar as her mind wandered back to the scene she had witnessed the night before. She knew she should forget all about it, but something about what the female dragon said had been bothering her all morning. Shiroxx had mentioned something about Jaax’s wounded past.
What could she have meant?
Jahrra wondered.
What could have possibly happened to him to make her sound so concerned?

Jahrra almost felt remorseful that she knew nothing about the other dragon. After her parents had died, she stopped listening to the stories Hroombra told of him, and Hroombra in turn stopped telling them. Every time he visited, Jahrra avoided him every chance she got. She never once tried to get to know him better, never asked him about his life. He knew about hers, but all he had to do was ask Hroombra. There was no way Jahrra would tell him anything.

Suddenly, she wanted to know all about Jaax; what he’d been like as a dragonling, what his life was like outside of Oescienne. Dragons were hated creatures in most parts of Ethoes, so there was a good chance this had something to do with Jaax’s attitude. “Maybe that’s what’s wrong with him,” she said cynically to Phrym, “maybe something awful happened to him long ago, and that’s why he’s so unpleasant.” Jahrra shivered and added in a whisper, “Perhaps he had a family once, like me.”

Jahrra sighed, wishing the salty breeze would take her worries with it. She knew that the coming weeks with Jaax would be nearly unbearable, but she told herself she would just have to grin and bear it.

Just as predicted, the following days found Jahrra far removed from her comfort zone. She began to dread leaving her room in the morning, often contemplating sneaking out her garden window more often than not. Normally, Hroombra would gently remind her to pick up her things or finish her homework or to come home early from a ride with Phrym. With Jaax it was a constant, patronizing nagging on top of Hroombra’s reminders, grating away at her patience.
Just ignore him, just ignore him. It’s just like Eydeth and Ellysian; I can’t lose my temper
, Jahrra would tell herself every time she heard his voice barking out another command or insensitive remark.

Gieaun and Scede tried their best to distract her from Jaax’s presence, but they weren’t always successful. To Jahrra’s utter annoyance, they often found Jaax interesting company and were swept away on one of his daily surveys of the countryside. Nothing was worse, in Jahrra’s opinion, than to have her friends come over for a day at Lake Ossar and then forget all about her when Jaax offered them a ride on his back.

Jahrra was often asked politely by the dragon to join the group, but she told herself that he had other sinister plans in mind and she refused to subject herself to them. So on the days that Gieaun and Scede were off flying the countryside with Jaax, Jahrra would take Phrym down to the lakes or to the beach to let off steam. The smooth rhythm of the ocean always helped cool her nerves when she was so rudely left by her friends.

When the ocean didn’t soothe her, Jahrra would find solace in the Black Swamp. Once at the Belloughs, Denaeh would always make her feel better by telling her a story or teaching her about a new plant she’d acquired. Jahrra had never before complained to Denaeh about Jaax, but then again the Tanaan dragon had never been a big enough part of her life to mention. When he visited, it was only for a few hours, or even a day, but absolutely not more than a week. Now that Jaax was staying for several months, and now that Gieaun and Scede had been completely beguiled by him, Jahrra needed Denaeh’s companionship more than ever.

It was a few weeks after Jaax’s arrival that Jahrra paid Denaeh a visit. The moment she stepped down from Phrym into the late fall gloom of the swamp, Jahrra immediately jumped into the story of why she was there. Denaeh listened patiently, her eyes narrowed in thought. A dark cloud fell over the Mystic’s face as she registered what she was hearing.
So it all makes sense now, but how on Ethoes could I not have realized . . . ?
But her time for reflection would have to wait. Jahrra still had much more to tell, and Denaeh wanted to hear all of it. From what Jahrra had said so far, and by drawing her own conclusions, Denaeh could clearly see that the root of the problem was a clash of personalities. The dragon Jaax had a very dominant, determined disposition, one that often came to battle against Jahrra’s own stubborn independence.

As Jahrra rattled off her many grievances about the dragon, Denaeh would offer a sprinkling of advice here and there. The only problem was that Jahrra didn’t seem to take any of this advice to heart. She would look at her friend, aghast, after Denaeh suggested she swallow her pride and compromise with her reptilian visitor. The Mystic only smiled kindly then, knowing that the girl would have to learn for herself.
I have a feeling you’ll be stuck with that dragon longer than you expect
, she thought with a wry grin.

Once Jahrra was done complaining, she began telling Denaeh about what she’d heard the night after the race, about the conversation between Jaax and Shiroxx. The Mystic listened patiently, one elbow tucked into her hand while her chin rested in the palm of the other. Jahrra looked up at her once she was through with her tale, and the woman, even in the younger guise of herself, reminded her of a great old tree, still and frozen in a century of thought. Jahrra could have sworn she saw something dark flicker behind Denaeh’s eyes, but before she could consider it, the woman spoke.

“I have no idea who this dragoness Shiroxx might be. Dragon’s aren’t very common, but there are larger numbers of them outside of Oescienne. Perhaps she is a childhood friend of your dragon Jaax.”

Jahrra wrinkled her nose at Denaeh’s claim of Jaax being ‘her dragon’, but nodded her head in calm acceptance. If Denaeh didn’t know who Shiroxx was, then she would just have to live with that, unless she wanted to ask Jaax herself and admit to him that she had been spying. Jahrra sighed. It was far too stressful to think about strangers and the odd things they said. She now wished she had never followed after them in the first place.
This is what I get for being nosey
, she thought ruefully. As much as Jahrra was dying to decipher every word that was exchanged between the two dragons, she knew that she’d just have to live in ignorance.

Denaeh and Jahrra shared a short silence while they got their own personal thoughts together, and then they discussed the Great Race of Oescienne as the crackling fire and two steaming mugs of tea warmed them. Denaeh was thrilled to hear that Jahrra had won, and Jahrra smiled proudly.

“Hroombra and Jaax may disapprove, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“They’re proud of you,” Denaeh said, smiling. “They just worry about you.”

Jahrra shrugged and sipped her tea. She knew that Hroombra was proud of her, even though he had been angry. She had read it in his eyes; pride, hurt, anger and fear. All of those emotions had been there, but pride had shown the strongest. Jaax’s eyes, on the contrary, had remained as icy and dark as ever. She knew that he felt some concern, but was it for her own sake or was it somehow for himself? Was it something that her behavior affected that really had him distressed? Jahrra shut her eyes and let the spicy tea comfort her. She had enough to worry about without wondering why Jaax acted the way he did.
You don’t even care what he thinks, remember?
she reminded herself.

Jahrra breathed in the fog-tinged air and shivered despite the warmth of the small fire. She tried to relax, but there was simply too much on her mind. Later that afternoon, she rode Phrym over to see Gieaun and Scede only to find that they had gone into town with their parents.

“Well,” Jahrra said aloud, looking down at Phrym, “we’ll just have to wait and talk to them tomorrow at school.”

Jahrra groaned at the sudden thought of what tomorrow might bring. The simple act of going to school had become especially difficult after the race of Oescienne, what with the majority of her classmates doing everything short of murder to get revenge on the “Nasty Nesnan”, her new, awful nickname. Gieaun, Scede, Pahrdh, Rhudedth and a few of her other friends would angrily defend her, but they were only jeered at and reminded of Tarnik’s declaration from that day:
If you know what’s good for you, you will cease from socializing with anyone of the Resai race
. Luckily, these were only words, and the Resai children at school soon grew tired of repeating a command that Jahrra and her friends refused to follow anyway.

The weeks passed and Jahrra found herself struggling between the distractions at school and the demands at home. Winter exams were closing in, and now more than ever she needed to focus. This proved to be a bit of a challenge, however, now that there were
two
dragons breathing down her neck. Many times during the evening Jahrra simply gritted her teeth and pressed harder down on the parchment she was writing on, grateful that the shadows cast by the flames of the fire contorted her aggravated expression. She just had to make it through her exams, and once exams passed, she would have the relief of the winter break to ease her stress. There was only one problem: Jaax was still in Oescienne, and the Solstice would be miserable with him there.

Exams were grueling, but they came and went and Jahrra managed to survive them. Yaraa and Viornen also wanted to test her, and so during the last week of school, Jahrra was competing in her hardest defense tests yet. This time Jaax was there to watch her every move like a hawk. The elves of Dhonoara had been so delighted to see the dragon Raejaaxorix walking down the lane that first afternoon of testing that it made Jahrra’s stomach lurch.
What if they judge me more harshly now that he’s here?
she thought in horror. But she did well, despite her nervousness, and even Jaax, miraculously, had no complaints to offer her. Finally, after weeks of late nights and long days of practice, Jahrra found herself anticipating her time off for Solsticetide. Unfortunately, she would have to spend it with someone she hated just about as much as she hated Eydeth and Ellysian.

Solstice Eve was quiet, with only Hroombra, Jahrra and Jaax celebrating at the Castle Guard Ruin. Hroombra gave Jahrra more books in Kruelt and some blank scrolls to sketch on.

“Thank you, Master Hroombra.” Jahrra smiled, holding up the fine set of volumes. “I think I might be able to read these now.”

Jahrra also received some more arrows from Gieaun and Scede, fletched with the feathers of wild fowl, and all of her friends had saved their money together to get her a hand-crafted dagger from the Toria Town market.

“Wow! Look at this!” she exclaimed, pulling the knife out of its leather sheaf.

It was long, nearly as long as her forearm, and its hilt was intricately carved in a knot-work pattern. Jahrra admired its comfortable weight and polished blade, turning it in her hands.

“Do be careful with that young Jahrra,” Hroombra said, smiling quietly.

Jahrra grinned and put the dagger carefully away in its leather case. She yawned and stretched and began to gather her small pile of treasures, intending to head off to bed.