The Beginning of Connie and Isaac: Blue Butterfly Series (The Blue Butterfly Book 3) (19 page)

“Have you ever been with another woman, Shadow?”

“No,” I whispered immediately. I had meant it to warn her off but the choked way it came out made her smirk.

My belly ached with pressure when she ran her tongue down between my breasts and softly placed a kiss to the swell of flesh beside my nipple.

“You’re simply quite beautiful,” she breathed as her tongue flicked over my rigid nipple. “I can see why Isaac is smitten.”

Then just as quickly, she stepped away, grabbed her towel and left the shower block, leaving me trembling.

Mortification controlled me, my whole body flushing at my reaction to her. I knew most of the female Phantoms often indulged in lesbian sex but I’d never before felt anything like I just had with Becca. Another concern was that I hated the bitch; she was mean and cruel to the new soldiers, making sure that they knew she was above them.

Putting it down to the hormones still running my body after the night’s fuckfest with Isaac, I shook it off and made my way back to my room. It was still early and usually I was the only one up at that hour, but quite a few people milled about. A couple of people lowered their eyes when I walked passed them and I frowned to myself. Generally everyone was friendly with me but the more they either looked away or whispered as I walked passed, the more my skin prickled with anxiety. There was a strange buzz in the air and the closer I got to the corridor which housed all of West’s bedrooms, the more difficult it became to breathe.

My footing stumbled when, turning the corner that led into the hallway, I saw everyone was standing outside Mouse’s room. Bullet’s grief-stricken wail ricocheted off the bare walls and slammed inside my chest.

“No.”

Rogue grabbed me when I broke into a run and pushed through the congregation. “No, Shadow.”

“Get off me!” I hissed as I yanked out of his hold and burst into Mouse’s room.

My legs gave way and I fell to my knees on her floor as an agonising cry tore up my throat with a wave of vomit. My head shook as tears blurred her broken and tortured body. She was face down on the bed, blood leaking from every orifice on her bruised and mauled body as her dead eyes stared at the wall where a message had been left for me in Mouse’s blood.

Panther tried to drag me away when I bundled Mouse up and sat rocking her, whispering with frantic apologies in her unhearing ears. “I’m so sorry, Mouse. Oh God, forgive me. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Shadow,” Panther tried. But it was. It was. I’d told Isaac what Joel had done.

Cement slowly trickled into my veins. My tears stopped, my heart beat slowed and an icy sludge slid into the marrow of my bones. Tenderly, I laid Mouse back down, my palm respectfully closing her eyelids. I kissed her on the forehead, told her I loved her and then went in search of Joel.

“WHERE THE FUCK
is she?” I barked at all of West as they stood with red-rimmed eyes watching me go crazy. “FIND HER!” They all scattered in different directions as I stabbed at the keys on my phone, dialling her number and growling in frustration when I was greeted with a long continuous tone yet again. “Come on, my love. Where are you?”

Devlin stared at me and shook his head. “It’s a fucking mess.” His eyes dropped to Mouse’s body. I’d liked Mouse, she’d been a good soldier. She had been feisty, hence her lack of tongue when she’d mouthed off at my father once, but she could take orders and follow them through without a second thought. But at that moment, I was more concerned for Shadow. She’d disappeared hours ago after finding her friend, the words smeared on the wall obviously a message for her after she’d told me what Joel had done to her.

Joel was dead. It was that simple. I was going to snap his neck quickly and cleanly.

“We need to figure out how we’re going to handle this.” Devlin sighed sadly. He too had been fond of Mouse and it hurt when we lost one of our own.

Dragging my hands over my face, I replied with a nod. I was exhausted. I’d been inside Shadow all night, her perfect little body and sexy moans had made me take her over and over again. She’d been as tight and hot as I had known all along she’d be. Three years I had waited for her, and the wait had been more than worth it. However, I didn’t like how she also affected my emotions. A fuck was a fuck, but with Shadow it was different. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was about her, but I knew she had gotten under my skin. The way she looked at me, her eyes sparkling with something other than pleasure had made the beat of my heart speed up and the need to satisfy her grow until all I could concentrate on was making her come with an overwhelming ecstasy.

“Take her out and find a secluded site,” I said to Devlin as we both continued to stare with sadness at Mouse. “Don’t be seen.”

He nodded as I left him. I needed to find Shadow. Where the fuck was she? I just prayed that she hadn’t done something stupid. I knew she wanted to leave our torturous life, and it was only because of her sister that she was still there. My heart clenched when I knew this could push her over that line into the inhumane Phantoms we all became after time.

The corridors were bursting with people as the start of the day saw many Phantoms begin training or receiving their specific assignments. My father had called for my presence, most likely to receive my own orders, but he’d have to wait until I sorted this shitstorm out. He couldn’t find out about Mouse or we’d all pay for what Joel had done.

Quickly answering my phone when Rogue’s name scrolled up, I stiffened when apprehension controlled the tone of his voice. “You better come to the courtyard.”

Without answering him, I pocketed my phone and broke into a run. I would lose my shit if Joel had hurt her and bound her to the cross again. I was just waiting for the time to end him without the fall-back of it coming back to me.

However, when I entered the courtyard, I realised my worries had been completely the wrong way around.

“Holy shit!”

Rogue’s worried stare found me and he winced. “I can’t find her,” he whispered.

The blood in my veins froze as my eyes beheld the scene before me. Joel was nailed to the cross. A cavity in his chest displayed the void inside, his heart now slapped at the base of his feet and his toes tinged with the colour of his own blood. His naked body missed an essential part but as my eyes lifted to his face, I found it. His dick was protruding from his open mouth, a silent scream evident on his dead face.

“Fuck!” Bullet’s gasp broke me from my horrified stare and I turned to her.

“Did you find her?”

She shook her head, her wide eyes still fixed on Joel. “Shit.” She chewed on her lips for a moment then looked at me. “I might know where she is.”

“Tell me.”

Nodding, her stare once more fixed on Joel. “Down by the stream there’s a secluded spot between the two big trees. She often goes there when she needs to be alone.”

Looking at Rogue, his sadness made my gut twist. “I’ll find her,” I told him as I slapped him on the shoulder.

He nodded. “I’ll see to Joel.”

Giving him a nod of thanks I tore from the courtyard and made my way down to where Bullet had told me.

As soon as I pushed through the heavily laden trees I saw her. She was sat cross-legged, staring into the fast flowing water. My heart surged when I noticed she was still covered head to foot in Joel’s blood.

“Hey, love,” I whispered as I walked up behind her hesitantly.

Her head turned, and what greeted me sliced something deep inside, the pain in her eyes making my breath catch in my throat. “I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” I said as I sat beside her and pulled her to me. She curled up and pressed against me, her heartbroken whimpers making my soul weep with her. “Shh.”

“Will you try and save Mae?”

Tensing, I tipped her head back, making her look at me. “It won’t come to that, Shadow. I won’t let it.”

She smiled sadly. “You know he will kill me for this Isaac. Please accept it and grant my request. I know he will go after Mae after my death.” A sob broke from her and she squeezed her eyes closed. “I couldn’t allow him to live for what he did to Mouse. He should have come to me. Making my friends pay is cowardly and unforgivable.”

“I know,” I said as I held her tighter.

She was right; Frederik would make her death painful for this. We never, ever took one of our own out. It was in the rules; the very first rule. Only my father was granted permission to terminate a Phantom. And Shadow would pay with her life.

But I wouldn’t allow that. My father would believe it was me who killed Joel. As much as I wanted to free her from this life, I wanted so much more than death for her. I wanted her to live, and I prayed that one day, even without me, she would be able to look up to the sky and smile. And as I lifted Shadow back off my knee and placed her back on the grass, I pressed my mouth to her forehead. Knowing what I had to do came easy to me, and it made me recognise the feeling that beheld me over Shadow. I was in love with her. But she could never know.

“I’ll be right back. Stay here,” I breathed into her hair as I closed my eyes and inhaled her sweet scent to memory. It seeped into me, calming the erratic beat in my chest and soothing the pain of what I had to do. I needed it to make my next journey bearable. I needed her unique scent to carry me into hell.