The Beltane Witch (Cloudburst Colorado) (25 page)

“Mother no more deserved the
role than Sabrina does. Father was a prick.”

“Sabrina, is it now?” Phinnius winked.

“Hush.” Darius wanted to take his dagger and dig out his aching heart. Why did this hurt so badly? He’d only known her for a week. One glorious week. “Her world is not like ours. She is alone, and often ridiculed for her solitude.”

“Darius, do you think Sabrina is pregnant with your child?”

“I can only surmise the magic created a new life within her, what with the strength of it and the Queen’s presence for the rituals.” Goddess, he hated the idea of leaving Sabrina without his company. “And with the Goddess’s blessing at the end.”

“Sorry?” Phinnius looked startled.

“The Goddess appeared to us at the end of the rituals. To Sabrina and I.”

“Bloody hell. Which form did She take?”

“What?” Darius shook his head.

“Which form? The Goddess holds four forms, the Maiden, the Matron, the Warrior, and the Crone. Which did She take?”

Darius thought back to the star-eyed woman who had approached them at the bridge to Tír na nÓg. “The Matron, I’d guess. Too old to be a maid and too young to be a crone. Why?”

Phinnius sighed
. “If She wore the Matron, She represented home, family, and children. I’d say you’ve gotten your witch with child.”

Darius
’s heart sank and his gut churned. Sweet mercy, he’d become the basest pond scum alive. No better than his prick father.

“
And I left her.”

Phinnius shook his head.
“So why are you here?”

“I have my duties to the Queen.” Phinnius made a rude sound. “And Sabrina told me to go and never return. Her anger
rose incandescent.”

The pain in his chest almost doubled him over. Disgust at leaving Sabrina with child ate at him, along with the sorrow of betraying her, and the loss of her companionship. He glanced over at the Queen, luminescent in her golden dress and glittering jewels, and found her
gaudy and ridiculous. All the courtiers appeared the same, fawning over the Queen, jockeying for position, all of it meaningless. Even his elder brother Tiberius and Lady Winterbourne fluttered around Her Majesty, begging for scraps.

“Anger can be assuaged with honesty, Darius.” Phinnius gripped hi
s shoulder. “Don’t wait, brother. Make her yours now.” He paused and gave him a piercing look. “Help her raise your child, be a better father than ours, and soothe your heart.”

Darius gaped at his younger brother. When had Phinn learned such wisdom? He spoke with the certainty of the Goddess.

“What about the Queen?”

“Take your leave of her. Resign. Return to your Lady Foxglove.” Phinnius winked. “The Court will take care of itself.”

Darius narrowed his eyes. “Do you covet my position as well?”

“Me?” Phinnius scoffed. “No, not at all.” He shuddered theatrically. “But I can see your misery as if you’re wearing a feather headdress. I suspect others can as well. You don’t want this life anymore, Darius.
It’s quite obvious.”

“What about the family? If I resign, we’ll lose our
position of honor at Court.”

“We could have lost it at any time, brother. The Queen didn’t need y
ou working for her to secure it. She’d like you to think it’s all dependent on you, but she could have ripped it away without regard for any of us. You’re not held here because of our honor.” Phinnius shoved at Darius’s shoulder. “Go, take your leave, and return to your witch. She needs you more than we do.”

Could he walk away from the life he’d carved for himself? Darius scanned the room around him with all its counterfeit beauty and glitter. The magic no longer attracted him or held his heart. He found little joy in his duties and
in time, it would bring dishonor to his family.

T
he Goddess always meant for me to leave the Court after Beltane.
He had no idea where the certainty came from, but it resonated so strongly through him, he trembled.

Overwhelming relief and joy surged through Darius and he wrapped his brother in a bear hug in gra
titude. “Come find me some time, when you can, Phinn. You’ll always be welcome, even if I’m alone.”

“If you’re alone?”

“Sabrina was terribly angry.”

Phinnius gripped his forearm in farewell. “Never give up, Darius. I daresay she’s worth it.”

His brother had the truth. Darius descended the stairs to ask for his second boon and take his leave of the Queen.

Sabrina stared at the little strip of plastic and felt the inevitable crash over her. Pregnant. Again. She’d have another February baby.
Bloody hell, I’m running out of dates for birthdays.
The attempt at levity spurred her sorrow and tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Dammit!” Pregnancy hormones sucked. So did morning sickness, but she hadn’t
experienced that little gift yet.

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, tossed the plastic tab in the trash bin, and returned to the ki
tchen to clean up dinner dishes. The house seemed too quiet, too empty since she’d told Darius to go. He’d become a welcome fixture there.

You need to get over i
t. You knew he wouldn’t stay. He only proved you right.

It still rankled. She didn’t want to be right about him. She’d wanted him to be diffe
rent, to mean all the things he’d said about loving her and wanting to be the father to her children. Especially the new baby.

The Goddess’s word
s came back to taunt her.
You’ve been offered a great many gifts by those who love you. Have faith and take them to heart.

Oh, she’d taken them to heart. Especially the new life growing within her.
She
wanted
the baby, Darius’s child. She wanted the memories she’d made with him and the embodiment of the love she’d felt for the man. Even if he broke her heart.

It didn’t help to hear about Merrilee Fuckstwice everywhere she went, either. The woman paraded around town with a massive superiority complex because of being selected to perform the High Beltane rituals in Durango. Sabrina couldn’t get away from the news at Mazie’s, and the few times she’d seen Merrilee in town had been torture.
Not only did she take Tommy, but now she thinks she’s the Goddess’s emissary to Cloudburst. My great honor? To be pregnant and alone. Again.

Grief hit her with new waves until she had to retreat from the sink full of dishes before she rubbed her eyes full of soap.
She sat down in the living room and tried to swallow her sobs, but they rattled in her chest until she started to hiccough.

At least Marty Robinson no longer presented a threat. Sabrina had almost run into him at the grocery store. He’d apologized and helped her pick up the apples she dropped before walking away as if they’d never met.
It appeared the Fae had followed through with Darius’s request.

Oh, Goddess. Darius.
She shook her head fiercely.
Dammit. Think of something happy…

Her gaze rose to the set of horned masks she’d placed on the mantle. She’d found Darius’s mask in her van the morning after Beltane and she couldn’t bring herself to
throw it away. The tall antlers reminded her of the spectacular night she’d spent with the May Lord. The virile, handsome, sexy, strong man who made her feel like a goddess, and brought her more pleasure than any lover before him.

Her throat closed and tears overflowed her eyes. It didn’t matter. He’d picked honor and duty over her.
She wished it could be different. She wished he hadn’t been a lying sack of shit. She wished…

Someone knocked on the door before she could finish the last thought and
she stilled. Who the heck would stop by at this hour? Sabrina wiped her eyes with her shirt hem and stood, taking deep breaths. Maybe she could blame the puffiness of her face on the pregnancy. A pregnancy she’d told no one about.

Ah hell.

Sabrina squared her shoulders and strode to the door.
I’m fine. I’m good. See?
She opened the door and her breath left her. A groan of fury burst from her chest as she tried to slam it shut on the backswing.

“Sabrina! Please, wait, hear me out.”
Darius braced his foot in the doorjamb and his hands against the panel.

“No,
I don’t want to hear it, Darius.”

“Please. I need to explain. If I haven’t convinced you of my honesty
when I’m done, then I will go. Please, Sabrina.”

The sound of his voice made her heart ache
and she leaned her forehead against the door. She didn’t want to want him. He’d tricked her into believing he loved her and traded her help for his career.
But he asked me to trust him. He said it might take him some time, but he’d quit the Court and come back.

Sabrina gritted her teeth and looked around the door at Darius. T
he earnestness on his face and in his eyes made her pause. He looked gaunt and haunted as if he’d pushed himself beyond his limits.

I’m just imagining things.

But her traitorous heart agreed to hear his petition, and she stepped back, allowing him to enter. “Fine. Come in.”

“Thank you.” He stepped inside and set a large duffle bag on the floor.

“You have ten minutes. Then you will go.”

“If I can’t convince you otherwise.”

Ah, the old Darius she knew and loved. Always so sure he’d get what he wanted. Never mind that she wanted the same.

“Clock’s ticking, Darius.”

“Please, Sabrina.” He gestured to her living room. “Sit with me and let me explain.”

She sat in her favorite chair as he removed his long jacket and she noted he no longer wore the
sword scabbard with the oak leaf embroidery.
At least he didn’t bring the nasty thing into my house.
He sat down on her couch and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he gathered his defense.

“When I first arrived here in
Cloudburst, I thought I knew what I could expect.” He spread his hands. “Another place for strengthening the wards, another witch upon whom to bestow the honor of the Beltane rituals, another task to perform for the Queen. It seemed simple enough.

“But you weren’t anything like I expected, Sabrina.” He raised his gaze from the floor and met her own. “You didn’t want the honor or the recognition. You didn’t even want me in your home, and you forced me to learn your way of life. You never backed down from your duties or responsibilities, yet you refused to take on more.” He chuckled. “You alternately f
rustrated and impressed me over it.”

Sabrina sat back and
crossed her arms over her chest.

He cleared his throat. “My task
was to get you to do the rituals and I thought it would be easy. But you refused and each time I spoke with the Queen, she insisted on your participation. As it turned out, your abilities justified her faith.”

Sabrina snorted and unfolded her hands to lay one on her belly.
Too bad I misjudged you
. “You made a deal with her, Darius.”

“Originally, yes.
” He nodded. “The Queen threatened me with a loss I wasn’t prepared to make. She threatened to dismiss me from my duties, banish my family from Court, strike our names from the records, and take the sword held in my family since my grandfather’s grandfather. I couldn’t take such a legacy away from my family.” Darius sighed. “But as I got to know you and your family, I couldn’t force you into performing the rituals.”

“Fortunately for you, you didn’t have to, did you?”

“Sabrina, you made the decision all on your own, but I would have given it all away even so.” He reached for her hand and wrapped his around it. “Court life is about appearances and position. Everyone wishes favoritism from the Queen, and I had it, as long as I fulfilled my task. But I wanted to tell her to go to hell to be with you. I’d grown tired of the posturing, and the last time I spoke with the Queen, I no longer felt compelled to do her bidding. Her magic had no effect on me.”

Sabrina raised her eyebrow. “Come on, the Summer Queen, one of the strongest Fae out there, and her magic couldn’t suck you in? You must think I’m really back-woods.”

“It’s true,
acushla
, and you’re not back-woods, as you call it. Your power surpasses hers.”

“Don’t call me
that.” Anger burned brighter as she shook his hands off. “I’m not your ‘dear heart.’ You don’t trick or hide the truth from those you care about.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to explain!” Darius clenched his jaw
. “You called me a deceitful man-whore and sent me away before I could tell you I’d made a different decision. The Queen’s deal no longer applied to me. But you believed her, a woman who has made a career of manipulation and division for her own entertainment.”

“And you went, didn’t you? You must have really felt strongly about me if you left and didn’t fight for your choice to stay
.” Tears threatened to slide down Sabrina’s cheeks again, fueling her anger. “Goddess, Darius! I believed you when you said you loved me and wanted me in your life forever. I believed you and I could be together as a family. And I wanted it. I wanted it so much.”

“Oh, Sabrina.” He rose and gathered her into his arms. “I want
it, too.”

She struggled against his hold as the tears fell harder and harder. “Don’t touch me. Leave me alone.”
She tried to ignore how good he smelled.

“I have left you alone for
far too long,
acushla
. And I’m sorry.” He only held on tighter, cradling her against his warm, wide chest. “But I’m fighting for what I want now. And I want to stay here with you, be your lover, your husband, whichever you desire, as long as I’m with you.”

“But the Queen
—”

“No longer has any control over my whereabouts or actions.”

Sabrina stopped struggling. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve resigned my position as Chamberlain in her Court.”

“Why?”

“Because I want
to be with you.”

“But what about your
honor and your family?” Goddess, she wanted to believe him and just snuggle in his warm embrace, but this seemed too good to be true.

He laughed softly. “My younger brother Phinnius reminded me the family could take care of itself and I only lost honor if I didn’t t
ake care of my own needs and responsibilities. As for the sword, I bestowed it upon the male heir who became a soldier. Surely he needs a well balanced blade more than I.”

Darius tipped her head up to look in her eyes. “But you, Sabrina, are what I want and need. You, and Tansy, and Holly
.” He dropped a hand to her belly. “And the new little one growing here.”

Sabrina gasped and pulled back to look at him. “How do you know I’m pregnant?”

He studied her face for a few heartbeats before he smiled ruefully. “Come sit with me on the div—couch.” He returned to his seat and pulled her down beside him, taking one hand in his. “I suspected we would make a child given all the renewal and fertility magic of the High Beltane rituals, but the Goddess’s words at the gateway to Tír na nÓg only make sense now with your confirmation.”

Sabrina frowned. “What did She say?”

“She told me I’d have to face some obstacles to my dreams, but they wouldn’t be insurmountable. She said to fight for what I wanted and follow my heart because my children would need my strength and guidance.”

“Do you have
any other children?”

“No.” Darius
squeezed her hand. “Only Tansy and Holly.”

“But they’re not yours.”

“They could be. If you’ll let me be your partner, lover…husband.”

Sabrina’s heart leapt with hope, but she studied his face, searching for truth in
all the pretty details. She needed him to give her honesty this time.

“I’m trying to figure out what you want, Darius. What’s your motivation for coming back here? Is it only the child? Because I can take care of a child without a
man’s help. I’ve been doing it for years.”

Darius’s jaw bunched as frustration flashed across his face, but it dissipated after a moment and he laughed
ruefully. “I came back because I said I would. I came back because you’ve stolen my heart and tucked it away safely among your deviled eggs and bedtime stories, wrapped in the beauty of your smile and strength of your determination. My heart is here with you, and I can’t live without it.”

He laid
his hand over her belly and warmth seeped in through her clothes. “I know you can take care of a child without my help. But I want to be here to help raise our children. I want to read stories to Holly and help Tansy learn to dance, and teach our new child how to tie his shoes.”

“His?” Sabrina quirked an eyebrow.

“Ah, well, the Goddess is all about balance and I strive to follow Her example.” He winked and she chuckled. “Please, Sabrina. Give me this chance to fulfill my promises to you, and to help you with our family.”

Sabrina tilted her head. “What promises are you talking about, Darius?”

“The promises to take care of you should I get you pregnant. To move heaven and earth to stay with you and our child, and to stay in your life after Beltane as your husband.” He kissed the side of her head. “They weren’t just promises to you,
acushla
. They were also promises to me.”