The Best Laid Plans (14 page)

“You aren’t ruining anything. What are you talking about?”

She tried to catch her breath. “This is always what happens when I second-guess the plan.”

“Handsome boys fall in love with you? If you don’t like him that way, he’ll get over it. Don’t worry about it.” Lucy didn’t understand. She had never believed in Emma’s theory about her plan. She thought it was ridiculous to think you could map out your life.

“The problem isn’t not liking him. The problem is liking him
too much
. I’m supposed to be falling in love with Scott. He’s perfect for me. I should be thinking about him day and night, night and day. But all I think about is Charlie. Even when I’m with Scott, I think about Charlie. But when I’m with Charlie, I don’t think about Scott. I’m not wondering what he’s doing or who he’ll be kissing if we don’t get together. Someday Charlie is going to kiss somebody and make her forget everything and she’s going to make him forget all about me and that is not supposed to be what I’m thinking about!” Emma hiccuped as she continued to cry.

Lucy held her baby sister and let her get it all out.

“Everybody loves Charlie. Even Tessa. And she usually doesn’t like anyone. And I have to go on this double date with her and Ian, who is crazy for taking her back because she’s like you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Tessa hates men,” Emma answered flippantly. “I don’t want to take them to Sato’s because Max is going to see us and what if he tells Charlie he saw us? I don’t want to hurt Charlie.”

“I don’t hate all men,” Lucy said as Emma blew her nose. It sounded like the L train was running through the apartment.

“Bad things happen when I don’t stick to the plan. My feelings for Charlie are the reason the O’Reillys are in the hospital. I just know it.”

“That’s crazy talk. Your feelings for some guy are not the reason a family got in a car accident. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You think that, but I’ve seen it happen before. I was going to quit nursing school.” Emma’s hand flew up and covered her mouth. She had never told anyone that before.

“What?” Lucy didn’t believe her, as usual. “You’ve wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember. None of us were as excited about going to college as you were because you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life.”

Emma dropped her hand. “I did. I wanted to be a nurse until it got really hard and I was taking this creative-writing class and I thought,
what if I wasn’t a nurse but a teacher?
I’m good with kids. Simon likes me. I could have been a good teacher, don’t you think?”

Lucy shook her head, not at the question but the entire conversation. “So what terrible thing happened because you were thinking about being a teacher for a millisecond?”

“Everything! My counselor got me into an Intro to Schooling class and it was like I had signed up to learn Mandarin. I bombed the first quiz and major test. A failing grade in that class would have made me ineligible to play volleyball, which could have cost me my scholarship. I had to drop the stupid class before that happened. When have I ever failed in school? Never.”

“That’s how normal people find out something isn’t for them, Em.”

That wasn’t the worst of it. Emma believed there had been other penalties for changing her plans. “All of this happened around the same time Mom got diagnosed,” she whispered.

Lucy froze for a few seconds while she let that information sink in. She had to be thinking Emma wasn’t as crazy as originally thought.

“Mom got cancer because you changed your plans?”

Obviously, she didn’t give her mother cancer, but the timing of it was a bit too coincidental. “Fate was pushing me back toward medicine, don’t you see?”

“What part of the plan were you considering changing when I got diagnosed?”

Emma blew her nose again. “I wasn’t changing anything then.”

“Oh, so you’re only responsible for giving some people cancer. Other people get cancer because of a genetic predisposition or environmental factors or because of what they put in their bodies. Mom was the only one to get it because of your selfish desire to be a teacher, is that right?”

She was mocking her. Emma didn’t like it one bit. Not in her fragile state.

“There are signs and you have to pay attention to them,” Emma argued. “I almost considered working at the hospital in Milwaukee where I did my clinical studies. The day of the interview, everything that could go wrong went wrong. My car got a flat tire, so I called a cab. When we got to the hospital, I realized I left my purse in my car. The driver turned around to take me back to my car but got in an accident before we made it there. I couldn’t get another cab because I had no money, so I decided to walk to the hospital. That’s when it started to rain. Not just any rain, though. It was a
torrential downpour
. My umbrella, of course, was also back in my car. The same moment I decided to forget about the interview and head home, the rain stopped.”

“Now you control the weather? What other secret powers have you been hiding from me all this time? Can you fly? Maybe turn invisible?”

“Stop it, Lucy.”

“No.” Her sister slammed both hands on the table. “You stop it, Emma. Bad things happen every day. A bad day is just a bad day. Maybe that job would have been the best job you ever had, but you’ll never know because it stopped raining the second you gave up trying to get to the interview.”

“I believe that was a sign. Signs tell us if we’re going down the right path or not.”

Lucy shook her head. “Rain is not a sign. It’s weather. Mom’s cancer was not a sign. It was bad genes. Grandma passed them to Mom and she passed them down to me. A guy who ran a red light put those people in the hospital today. Not your feelings for Charlie. This tragedy is
not
some sign.”

“Then why does everything come up roses when I follow the plan?”

“Were you following the plan when Kendall lost Trevor?”

“Yes,” Emma answered warily.

“How about when your team lost a volleyball game?”

“I understand that I don’t control everything with my plan. I just know that when I don’t follow it, things happen that guide me right back where I belong.”

“Bad things happen all the time,” Lucy said pointedly. “The only reason you don’t lose hope when some things go bad is because you’re following your plan, but who’s to say if you had rescheduled that interview or retaken that education class, that your new plan wouldn’t have worked out for the best? You’ll never know because you gave up when you were taking a risk. That wasn’t fate. That was you making a choice to play it safe, plain and simple.”

“So, what are you saying?”

“Don’t choose something because you’re afraid random bad things are going to happen if you don’t. Especially when that choice is about who to love, Em. That’s not a choice you want to make without listening carefully to your heart.”

Emma couldn’t believe this was the advice she was getting from Lucy, of all people. “Are you really telling me to follow my heart and not my head? Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “I’m telling you not to choose someone because he fits your idea of what’s right. Choose the one who
is
right.”

“How will I know he’s the right one for me?”

Lucy’s smile was wistful. “I don’t know. I can only tell you that if you let the right one go, you’ll know it as soon as he’s gone because nothing will ever be quite right again.”

That was as honest as Lucy had ever been about what had happened to her. Being vulnerable was not something Lucy was very often.

“I thought you didn’t believe in soul mates.”

“Who said anything about soul mates?”

Emma held her head in her hands. Her sister was making her brain hurt.

Lucy gave her a pat on the back. “Stop making everything into some supernatural phenomenon,” she said, her moment of self-disclosure over. “You can live without Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong. You don’t need a man to make you complete. Just don’t pick Mr. Wrong out of some crazy belief that you have to stick to some plan you made for yourself years ago.”

Emma had a lot to think about. Making decisions without a plan to reference would be the hardest thing she’d ever do. But what if Lucy was right? What if she missed out on something amazing because she was afraid? Fear could not hold her back any longer. Not when her heart was at stake.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

C
HARLIE
GOT
OFF
shift and went straight back to the hospital, where he planned to spend the next three days. Pete had made it through the night and so had Eva. Pete was being kept in a medically induced coma, while Eva was simply heavily sedated. Gianna said they were going to try to wake the little girl up later today.

Pete’s head injury had been bad. He’d had a small brain bleed that could have killed him if the doctors hadn’t stopped it when they did. There was no telling what the long-term effects would be. Also up in the air was whether or not Pete would ever be able to fight another fire. Injuries like his were usually career-ending in his line of work.

Charlie didn’t want to think about that. He stopped to get Gianna some coffee before heading up to Eva’s room. The two of them sat in the tiny space, sipping their much-needed caffeine. Neither of them had slept much last night.

“Her color is better, don’t you think?” Gianna whispered. As if her voice could wake her with all those drugs running through her tiny body.

“She looks much better. She’s a tough cookie.”

“She is. She’s like her father. Tenacious when she needs to be.”

Charlie nodded; the lump in his throat had grown too big for words to pass. Eva looked as frail as could be. No one should have to see their little girl with all these tubes coming out of her. The toughest cookie was sitting next to him.

“The worst part of this is not having Pete here to help me make all the decisions. They ask me if I want them to do this or that to her, and I don’t know. Then Pete’s doctors come up and ask me if I want them to do this or that to him and I’m even more lost. We made all the big decisions together. I wish he could tell me what he wants them to do.”

Charlie wished Pete was here, too. “You do the best you can do. I’m here to help if you need me. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can help you ask them the right questions.”

Gianna patted his knee. “You’re a good guy, Charlie. Thank you.”

It was the least he could do. He still had this lingering guilt, even though Emma had told him a million times the accident wasn’t his fault. He felt responsible. Moreover, he felt useless. He hadn’t been able to do much more than be present—at the scene of the accident and at the hospital. No wonder Emma was stuck on marrying a doctor. A doctor could at least
do
something.

Eva’s doctor dropped in and explained his plans for the day. He wanted to wean Eva off the medicine that was keeping her unconscious. Once she woke up, they would be better able to assess her condition. So far, her vitals were good and the doctor was feeling confident about how things would go.

It was the tiniest bit of hope, and it brought on the first signs of relief from Gianna. Her shoulders were relaxed and there was a hint of a smile when she thanked the doctor. Charlie prayed they would get similar news about Pete.

So, the waiting game began. They both sat and stared at Eva as if she might just pop up at any moment and ask Charlie to play a game.

“Thank you for getting her here alive. I don’t think I thanked you for that yet.”

Charlie didn’t feel as if he deserved her gratitude. “If it wasn’t for me asking you to change your vacation plans, none of this would have happened.”

“Don’t say that,” Gianna said, smacking his arm with the back of her hand. “If I hadn’t forgotten to set the thermostat to vacation mode, we would have left the house five minutes earlier. If Eva hadn’t announced she needed to go to the bathroom before we even left the neighborhood and made us turn back, we would have gotten to the station earlier. If Pete hadn’t been driving as fast or if we had stayed and chatted with you longer. If, if, if. There are a thousand little things that could have gone differently that would have put us somewhere other than in that intersection at that moment. If it’s your fault, then it’s my fault and Eva’s fault and Pete’s fault, too.”

He took what she said to heart. “It was a tragic accident. Nobody’s fault.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. I blame the guy driving the other car. Putting my baby and my husband in here was definitely that guy’s fault. He’s lucky my father isn’t alive. He had connections, you know. Tony Accardo was a guest at my wedding.”

“The mobster?”

“
The
mobster. That man was the boss. The. Boss.”

Pete had never mentioned his wife had connections to the Chicago mob. Maybe it was something he was sworn to never speak about...or else. Charlie was suddenly very glad Gianna didn’t hold him responsible for any of this.

“I’m sure the other driver will be answering to a judge. Not to mention that he has to live with what he’s done.”

“I don’t think I would want to be him any more than I want to be me right now.” Gianna stood up and fixed the sheet that was covering her daughter. She lifted her hand to touch Eva’s head but clearly thought better of it. It appeared there didn’t seem to be a safe place to make contact.

“They’re both going to make it,” Charlie said, willing it to be true. If ever he needed his optimism, it was now.

Gianna sucked in a deep breath and let it out, slow and steady. She sat back down next to him and grabbed his hand. “So, tell me all about Emma. Pete says you’re kind of sweet on her, but she’s got herself a boyfriend. I don’t know, Charlie. I’m not sure you’re seeing what I’m seeing. I appreciated her being there yesterday, but I know she wasn’t there for me.”

Charlie took his own cleansing breath. “It’s complicated.”

“It always is.”

He really didn’t want to talk about it but figured that if telling Gianna all about his romantic woes would help her get through this excruciating wait, he’d talk her ear off.

Charlie started from the very beginning, the first time he met his Nightingale. She was heading up to see Max with her nephew and sisters. There was something about her smile that caught his attention. As if he had seen it before or maybe just wanted to see it again. When he realized she was a nurse at Saint Joseph’s, he felt an immediate connection. They were certain to cross paths again, and that made every call at work that much more exciting.

He told Gianna about offering to plan the wedding to spend time with her, only to find out she had a thing for doctors. He didn’t stop there, though. He told her about Emma’s desire to fall in love and her feelings for Dr. Perfect. He admitted to wedding crashing and asking for a kiss.

“And did she give you one?”

Charlie nodded, feeling his cheeks heat. “We kissed and kept kissing even after the music stopped.”

“No!” Gianna was obviously enthralled by their story. She clapped her hands as if she was applauding. “She likes you, Charlie. You have to believe that girl likes you.”

“But will she choose me? I’m not so sure.”

Gianna’s head moved up and down like a bobblehead doll. “She will. She has to.”

Moaning and groaning came from the bed and Gianna sprung to Eva’s bedside. “Eva, baby. Mommy’s here. I’m right here, baby.”

Charlie called for the nurse and decided that was his cue to check on Pete. He wasn’t expecting to see Emma coming out of Pete’s room when he got there.

“There you are,” she said as if she had been looking for him. “I was about to call you. Something I probably should have done first, but I thought if you were anywhere, you were with Pete. But you weren’t, you were somewhere else. Where were you?”

Her rambling had never sounded so cute. “I was with Gianna in Eva’s room.”

“Ah,” she said, the mystery solved. “Why didn’t I think of that? How is Tinker Bell?”

“Waking up. They took her off the sedative and want to see how she’s doing.”

“She’s going to make it,” Emma said with confidence.

“They both will. How did he seem?”

Emma grimaced. “Not great. From what the nurses up here say, they won’t be waking him up anytime soon. His brain needs more time to heal.”

That was what the doctor had explained, as well. Charlie hated the thought of Pete being trapped in a hospital bed, letting the machines do all the work to keep him breathing and alive. He was the kind of guy who was always on the go. He was not going to be happy when he came out of this and was told to rest.

“So, why are you looking for me on your day off?” he asked her when he realized she wasn’t in her usual hospital attire. She had on jeans and a T-shirt, appearing casual and comfortable.

“I came to take you out to lunch. I figured you’ve probably been here all morning, have maybe had a few cups of coffee but no real sustenance.”

“You were worried about me, Nightingale?” He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. He really hoped she was.

Before she could answer, there was a page for a Code Blue in Pete’s room. They both quickly stepped out of the way as the staff descended upon them. The machines were doing the heavy lifting for the lungs, but Pete’s heart wasn’t getting any help.

The blood drained from Emma’s face as the medical team went to work on Pete. Charlie reached for her hand, selfishly needing the comfort of her touch. He could not handle breaking bad news to Gianna. Pete had to fight harder.

They anxiously watched as the team shocked Pete’s heart back into action. Every second his heart didn’t pump on its own was a second too long. It seemed to take an eternity for one of the doctors to call out normal sinus rhythms and give the all clear.

Charlie’s whole body turned to mush when it was over. He wanted nothing more than to sink to the floor. Emma wasn’t doing much better. She had her eyes closed and mumbled something that sounded like, “This is not a sign” over and over.

As quickly as everyone had arrived to help, they all cleared out but one. The nurse on duty came out to tell them Pete was stable but there would be no visitors except for immediate family. Emma’s hospital badge didn’t earn them any special favors, either.

Lunch was their only viable option other than going back to Eva’s room. Charlie decided he could handle being away for a couple hours if it meant he didn’t have to be the one who told Gianna what had just happened. The woman didn’t need any more bad news.

* * *

T
HERE
WAS
FOOD
and there was what the hospital tried to pass off as food. They were in two completely different categories. Emma would not take him to eat inside the hospital. Charlie had his choice of Hannah’s Café or the Haven Bar and Grill. He opted for the latter.

The Haven was a bit of a hole in the wall, but it was obvious workers from the hospital frequented the establishment quite regularly. The waitress recognized Emma right away.

They got seated and Charlie perused the menu. Emma didn’t even pick hers up.

“You already know what you want, don’t you?” At least that much about her was predictable.

She fidgeted with one of her earrings. “I eat here a lot. I know what’s good.”

“Tell me what’s good, Nightingale.” He set the menu down and rested his elbows on the table.

“You are,” she said, folding her hands together to keep them still. “You are a really good person, and I have been giving you a lot of mixed signals.”

Charlie’s eyebrows shot up. That really wasn’t what he expected from her. “This is true.”

“You’ve already figured out I’m the girl who knows what she wants. I usually get it, too. But you make me question if I want what I thought I wanted.” She cast those hazel eyes down on the table. “And that scares me.”

“What did you want?”

She glanced back up at him and he could tell she was choosing her words carefully. “I told you that I want to fall in love.”

“And I make you not want to?”

She shook her head. “You make me question who I want to fall in love
with
.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Not really,” she said with an apologetic grin. “I just want you to know that I’m going to be straightforward from now on. I promise.”

“Straightforward in a vague I’m-only-going-to-elaborate-when-I-want-to kind of way?”

Emma accepted his teasing with good humor. “I like you, Charlie. I value your friendship. What it means is, from now on, my words and actions should match up. I won’t be telling you one thing and doing another.”

She liked him and she’d thrown out the word any man in love with a woman hated to hear—
friendship
. Knowing she planned to be honest from now on made it a little more palatable. More important, she was here to be with him and not with Dr. Perfect.

“Sounds good to me. Now, let me be straightforward. Tell me what’s good to
eat
at this place.”

After laughing at both him and herself, Emma made some suggestions for lunch. There was no more discussion about what was going on between them; they simply enjoyed their time together. They talked a little about the accident. Emma listened when he spoke about the things he appreciated most about Pete. She offered encouraging words when he discussed what the doctors and nurses had told Gianna so far, but after that, Charlie didn’t want to think about it. Emma stepped up and did a fabulous job of taking his mind off what was happening at the hospital.

Lunch was greasy and delicious. The Haven had some of the best French fries in town. Charlie left with a full stomach and heart. Emma walked him back to Saint Joe’s.

“Text me with updates.”

“I will,” he promised as they stood outside the main entrance.

“And don’t stay too late. Get home and get some good sleep. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.”

“I will.” He smiled at her concern. Her words were clearly telling him his well-being mattered to her.

Charlie stepped through the doors. There was no kiss, but that lunch felt as if it might have been their first official date.

* * *

O
VER
THE
NEXT
several days, Eva improved immensely. Scared and confused when she first woke up, Eva had cried every time someone new came into her room. Now Charlie could get her giggling every time he stopped by for a visit. She had been released from the hospital two days ago, one week after the accident. There was a welcome-home party, complete with a variety of her favorite cookies and a Tinker Bell cake.