Authors: R.L. Stine
Illustrations by Trip Park
To Phil Silvers
you gave me my
four biggest fans.
Breakfast in Bed
Feenman and Crench
A Crowd Gathers
My Million-Dollar Watch
My Friend Beast
Allergic to Pie
25 Chocolate Cakes
The Horrible Accident
25 Blueberry Pies
The Big Barf-Off
Good morning, everyone. This is Headmaster Upchuck. I hope all of our Rotten students are ready to start the day.
I will be giving important announcements over the loudspeaker every morning. I hope we can get this fixed so it doesn't squeal and whistle. Ow! That really hurt my ears!
Doesn't anybody know how to stop that?
I guess not. OWW!
Anyway, here are today's important Morning Announcementsâ¦.
A special reminder from Coach Bunz to our Third-Grade Swim Team. Please remember that the No Peeing in the Pool rule is still being enforced.
Congratulations to the Volunteer Club of Nyce House. They have collected over fifty pounds of old newspaper. They are asking if anyone has any idea what to do with it.
Mr. Farrhowt has asked me to make this special announcement to students in his Class for Beginning Rappersâ¦. “Yo. What up, dawgs? We be breaking it down. Bring the bling. Bust a move, yo.”
The stomach pump is missing again from Nurse Hanley's office. Please return it and no questions will be asked.
I want to congratulate fifth grader Eric Spindlebag. Eric won the I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT MY SCHOOL essay contest. His winning essay was titled “Whatever.”
Members of the after-school Dental Hygiene Club announce that third grader Billy Sligg will be showing off his new retainer at dinner tonight.
A reminder that tonight is Island Night in the Dining Hall. Chef Baloney will be serving a special menu with a tropical theme. I'm sure you will all enjoy the chef's Coconut-Crusted Fist of Buffaloâ¦Plankton Surpriseâ¦Trout Lips in a Sponge Sauceâ¦and Lizard Pudding. Enjoy!