The Big Fat Truth: The Behind-the-scenes Secret to Weight Loss (31 page)

Not literally, of course. You don’t need to do anything that radical. Nor do you need to go home and start throwing out everything in your refrigerator, freezer, and cupboards. Again, let’s take it a step at a time.

We are all creatures of habit. We go to the same seven places; we eat the same seven foods. Our grocery store rituals are embedded in our psyches. We’re all always grabbing the same stuff—it’s one of the hardest habits to break. If the same stuff were always, say, broccoli, carrots, strawberries, fish, whole-grain bread, a bag of beans, and almonds, that habit wouldn’t be a problem. But, of course, you know and I know it’s not.

Now you’re going to do things a little differently. The ultimate goal is to greatly reduce how many highly processed, packaged foods you eat. And by that I mean things like crackers, cookies, soups (other than low-sodium broths for cooking with), salad dressings, ketchup, frozen pizzas and taquitos, sugary cereals, sweetened yogurts, pasta mixes that come in a box . . . you get the idea. Reducing your intake of these types of foods alone will cut your calorie intake, not to mention the amount of sodium, chemicals, unhealthy fats, and sugar you eat.

Start by doing your regular shopping and choosing the things you usually do (buy small amounts so you can use them up quickly and move on to healthier eating). Count how many packages are in your cart versus the number of produce or meat/poultry/seafood bags (frozen food bags only count if you have healthy frozen fruits and vegetables or lean sources of protein like fish in them). Write it down. Twenty-five packaged goods, three bags of fruits and vegetables, one bag from the poultry department, whatever. Give yourself a pass for things that come in a package but aren’t highly processed such as whole wheat bread, corn tortillas, low-sodium beans and low-fat and low-sugar condiments like salsa and mustard. Then, the next time you go to the market, try to shift the balance. (Better yet, now that you have your package count, put all that stuff back and start over.) If you have 25 packaged goods, try to get it to less than 20 items, replacing them with foods like tomatoes and peaches or other in-season fruits and vegetables from the produce section. The next time you go, get it to less than 15 packaged items. Keep going every week and, before you know it, you will have totally transformed your kitchen without even trying. You’ll also have transformed your mind-set. “I don’t eat (many) packaged foods!”

It bears repeating: There are two types of people. Those who say they can and those that say they can’t, and both are right. You’re about to gradually become an “I can” person. Use today to start counting how many times a day you say “I can’t.” It doesn’t have to relate to eating or exercise. Maybe you say things like, “I can’t finish all these dishes tonight, I have to go to bed” or “I can’t face looking at the want-ads even though I know I need a new job.” It could be anything, big or small. And it’s not just the things you say out loud. The voice in your head can be very negative, too—sometimes even more so. More often than not, that voice in our heads has power over us we are not even aware of! Just count how many times you stop yourself from doing something because you don’t think you’re capable of it. I bet it will be more times than you think.

Tomorrow, start replacing one of those “I can’ts” with “I can.” If you counted seven “I can’ts,” knock it down to six. Reduce the number the following day, then again the day after that. See how far you can go with it. Train your brain. You think you can never avoid the cupcakes they bring in for birthday parties at work? Try it. Tell yourself, “I can avoid them,” then watch yourself succeed.

Better yet, put that cupcake on your desk, right in front of you. When your co-workers come by and ask why you haven’t eaten it yet, say, “Because I own that cupcake’s ass!” Eventually, smash it with your fist and toss it. (Do not lick that fist!) Make it an event! Tell the whole office at the exact strike of 5:00 p.m. I will smash this cupcake with my fist! See! You can do it. If you say “I can” to yourself multiple times a day, seven days a week, pretty soon that is going to be your go-to place. Any time a challenge comes up, your response is going to be, “Yeah, I can do that.”

Over the last few years, something has come to light about people who live well into their 90s and even to 100. Yes, most of them are physically active; yes, most eat a primarily plant-based diet and consume neither too much food nor too little; and yes, most get enough sleep. But what really stands out in my mind is that all of them have a sense of community. They reach out to other people.

All throughout this book, I’ve been urging you to find like-minded comrades. Today I want you to identify someone—or several people—that you can exercise with. It can be a spouse, your child, a neighbor, a friend, a relative, even just an acquaintance that you think would be willing. This is going to allow you to kill two birds with one stone. On the one hand, you’ll get out and move because there is someone there to hold you accountable (just as you are there to hold the other person accountable). On the other hand, this is going to give you the opportunity to add that all-important social factor to your day.

And, believe me, it can end up being a very deep connection. There is something about the mix of endorphins and conversation that leads people to confide in one another. I have had exercise partners tell me things so private, they haven’t even told their wives. Think of today’s strategy as fostering the sociability factor you need to live longer
and
potentially giving you the emotional release you need. As I’ve been drilling into your head all along, the emotional component of weight loss is so important—more important than what type of diet or exercise you choose. If you can find someone to talk to during this time when feelings seem to naturally bubble to the surface, it’s going to help you in your quest for a healthier body.

I’m as big a fan of the grand gesture as the next person (the proof is in the 7,000-calorie burn), but I’m an even bigger fan of dreaming big and racking up small victories. Little acts of courage are performed every day, yet often go unnoticed. I think they mean something, and there’s no doubt that they add up and can even inspire you to do bigger things (like a 7,000-calorie-burn challenge). Here’s what I want you to do. Keep a log of your little victories. Write down three things each day that you accomplish. Nothing is too inconsequential. “I went to the gym even though I didn’t want to.” “I paid all my bills.” “I took care of that huge pile of laundry that was covering the floor of my bedroom.” “I turned down a slice of my mother’s famous chocolate cake.” Go back and read your log periodically. How are you doing? How far have you come? Don’t underestimate the importance of writing your victories down. It only has to be a few sentences a day, but putting a date stamp on it will serve its purpose six months from now when you look back and see how many successes you’ve racked up.

Like most people, you’re probably used to gobbling up your lunch in ten minutes, then lounging around for the remainder of the hour. Here’s a way to use your lunch more constructively. When I say take a lunch break, what I really mean is break up your lunch. One season, we made our cast members walk three miles to Subway, the sandwich shop. They were probably happy to have arrived, but before they could get too complacent, we told them they were only getting
part
of their lunch—to get the rest, they’d have to walk to the next Subway, another three miles away.

You may not have the luxury of getting six miles in during lunch, but on days when you’re going out for lunch, you can still break it up. Buy an apple at one place, then walk to another place (no, not the place next door—make it as far away as you can reasonably fit into your lunch schedule) for your sandwich, then another place for your drink. If you don’t work in a place where you can walk restaurant to restaurant, or if you’re brown-bagging it (always a good way to control your calorie intake), break your lunch break in half: Spend half the time—or less—eating, then spend the remaining minutes going for a walk.

We spend so much of the day beating ourselves up for what we haven’t done or couldn’t achieve that we never stop to show ourselves some love. You are a good person, and it’s necessary to stop and remind yourself of that. Today, stop yourself five times and give yourself a compliment, a pat on the back for something you did that was worthy. “Nice job on not eating that cupcake.” “You were awesome at work today.” “You were easygoing when that guy took your parking space.” “You took a walk during lunch.” It could be anything; just take the time to acknowledge it.

Today, when negative thoughts come, and they will, replace those with love. So today it’s not, “I can’t believe I’m so fat” or “I hate myself because I have no willpower”; instead, it’s “I am a strong person who can overcome adversity” and “I am a good person who has done good for others.” Give yourself the love, forgiveness, and encouragement that you give other people, and amazing things will start to happen.

Most of the overweight people I’ve met over the years have a very difficult time giving themselves compliments. They find it easy to pat someone else on the back but get queasy when it comes to praising themselves. It’s not vain to do so! Don’t spend your time being hard on yourself; that’s just going to lead to a pity ice-cream party. Spend some time loving yourself, and you’ll want to treat yourself well, not spite yourself by eating junk food and sitting immobile on the couch.

Working out is hard; making the right decisions about food is hard. But what if you had a thought in your head that got you past the difficulties? It would almost be like having someone looking over your shoulder, urging you on, and making sure you’re going in the right direction. That’s what a mantra is. It’s a reminder, a go-to line that swims around your head providing encouragement and reinforcement.

Today, you’re going to start putting your mantra into play. When you think you can’t do that last rep or push-up, when you hear that bag of salt-and-vinegar potato chips calling your name, pull out that mantra. What should your mantra be? If there’s some quote you’ve heard that speaks to you, make it your mantra. Or create your own. There are no rules. Here are a few that might work for you, too:

• Whatever you put into it, you’re going to get out of it.

• Today’s going to be the hardest day ever, but it’s going to be a great day.

• The only thing in life that isn’t hereditary is your attitude.

• I made a promise to myself, and I’m keeping it.

• Fall down five times, get up six.

One of my favorite mantras was one used by a cast member named Rod. Whenever he was wavering on working out or about to cheat on his diet, he’d say to himself “Can’t go back. . . . Won’t go back. . . . Not this time.” He even got it tattooed on the inside of his forearms.

Rod with his cousin Anika

Rod’s mantra

When everyone around you is enjoying pizza and beer, ordering the salad and sparkling water feels like punishment. When you just got off work and would like nothing better than to go home and get in that recliner with your laptop and a glass of wine, going to the gym can seem like too big a pain in the butt. But your butt is exactly what’s at stake. So remember why you’re doing this. Go into your closet and pull out that pair of jeans that hasn’t fit you in years, and bring them out. Now hang them somewhere in your bedroom so that every time you walk in, you can see them. Leave the jeans there as a constant reminder of your goal. We once had someone on the show that hung the dress she wanted to wear on her refrigerator. Every time she went to get something to eat, she
had
to make the right choice. Maybe a little over the top, but a good idea.