The Billionaire's Reluctant Pregnant Bride: A BWWM Romance (20 page)

The rooms outside are filled with people waking up, climbing off the floor, complaining of headaches and laughing about who they woke up next to this morning. I wonder if that’s why Preston slipped out. Was he too ashamed to wake up next to me? Did he regret it that much? I burst out the front doors into the brilliant, mocking sunshine, taking off across the lawn with my bare feet. I need out. Out. I don’t want anything to do with this world, and truthfully, I didn’t have to keep up with it. I could be anywhere I wanted. I was going to college. I was going to succeed. I would put all this behind me.

I didn’t realize until three weeks later that he truly didn’t remember a thing from that night after he cannon balled buck naked into the pool from the top of his roof.

He didn’t remember taking my virginity.

He didn’t remember saying all those sweet lies to me.

He didn’t even remember
leaving
the pool house.

He’d left sometime in the night and walked over to the house, fell over on something else, woke up next to two blondes and, well, what does Preston Easterbrook do when he wakes up next to two blondes?

We all know what he does.

I try to take comfort in that. He doesn’t remember what he did, well, I didn’t have to remember either. It could be like it never happened. But my heart wouldn’t let me off the hook so easily. It still yearned, desired, longed for those sweet lies.

So I closed it off.

I wasn’t going to let any boy rule me, and certainly not someone like Preston Easterbrook.

I had my whole life ahead of me, and he was not going to be a part of it.

Not ever.

Chapter 24

“Get out,” I whisper.

He frowns, concerned. “Tachell?”

I shut my eyes. “I said, get out.”

“Tachell, what is it? Did something happen?”

“God damnit Preston!” I scream. “Get out of this room! I can’t look at you right now! I can’t look at you ever again!”

He flinches and then looks at me, resolved. “No. I’m not leaving you like this. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Fine,” I whisper. “Then I’m going.”

I push past him and start down the hall.

“No, Tachell!” he yells, chasing after me. When it becomes obvious that I won’t stop, he races ahead of me and blocks my exist.

I glare at him, nostrils flaring. “Get out of my way.”

“I’m not letting you leave.”

“So I’m your prisoner now?”

“No,” he tells me. “But you’re upset. Tell me what’s wrong, and after we’ve talked, if you still want to go, we can call Sondra.”

I open my mouth.

I can’t tell you. I don’t want to tell you.

He’d hurt me so bad. I didn’t want to remember; I didn’t want him to know. It was so awful and embarrassing. I…I…

I turn and run in the direction opposite of him to the bedroom. His footsteps pound after mine, but luckily he’d been too eager to get ahead of me when he’d tried to keep me from escaping. I have time to shut and lock the door.

“Tachell!” he yells, pounding the door. “Don’t do this!”

“I want to go!” I yell back.

“Okay, okay,” he whispers as he ceases his pounding. “You can go at any time. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

I shut my eyes.

“Please, Tachell. Please.”

I shiver. “It’s about…the first time we were together.”

“What happened, sweetheart? Are you regretting the pregnancy?”

“No!” I call out quickly. “Never that.”

“What is it, then?”

His voice is so close to mine. I think we’re both leaning on the door in the same place. I curl my hand into a fist, shivering. I want to keep this a secret, but I know there can be no more secrets between us. Not after what we shared, because as much as I hate to admit it, it was real and it was beautiful. And because of what we shared and who he is now, he deserves to know even if it breaks me. “That night a few months ago wasn’t our first time. I’m talking about our real first time—
my
first time—back when we first graduated High School.”

He’s silent for a moment. “What?”

“It was at the graduation party at your place. In the pool house. And the next morning, I found you with two girls… right after you were with me, I found you with two girls…”

I can’t finish. I slide to the ground, holding my stomach as the horrible memory plays again. I hear Preston’s voice from the other side of the door, but I can’t recognize his words. I hold my knees to my chest and rock back and forth on the floor.

Please, let this be a cruel dream. Please, don’t let this be real.

But it isn’t a dream, and it is real. And I don’t know if I can deal with it.

I hear a knock at my door.

“Go away,” I sniffle.

“Tachell?”

“What are you doing?” I ask, standing. “I told you I don’t want to see you. I never want to see you again.”

There’s a telling silence. Then, a soft, “I brought you pancakes.”

Pancakes?
My heart aches. “Your pancakes?”

“Yeah. When it became obvious you weren’t gonna come back out, I went to the kitchen. I figured you could use some food.”

“No, you wanted to bribe me to open the door.”

“That too,” he admits.

Asshole wasn’t even gonna deny it. Smart man. I walk to the door, shaking.

Could I really let him in? Could I really forgive him after all he did to me?

My stomach growls.

“I won’t say anything. I promise,” he says. “I’m just gonna give you pancakes. After you finish, we can call Sondra.”

This is a mistake.

He’s a cheating manwhore.

He didn’t love you. He didn’t care. He didn’t even remember.

Everything you’ve seen up until now has been a lie.

You can’t trust a man like this. You can’t keep a man like this.

My hand trembles as I reach for the door.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Don’t do it!

But I do, and when the door swings open, I don’t see a cruel, manipulative player. I see the man I love with a sorry expression on his face and know that he never meant to hurt me.

Tears are threatening to cascade down my cheeks. Again.

“Tachell,” he whispers.

“I can’t do this, Preston. I just can’t.”

“You don’t have to do anything but eat. Just sit.”

I do. “This isn’t a problem pancakes can solve,” I whisper.

“I know. I just want you to feel better, and I know that pancakes make you feel better.”

Damn, when the man is right he is right. And right now, I want to drown these horrible feelings in sugar and fat. I let him sit beside me on the floor and accept the plate of pancakes he offers.

I look up at him. “Are you really going to just stand there and just watch me eat pancakes?”

He gulps. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now. Nowhere else I’d rather be ever.”

I shut my eyes and cut into the pancake. I know I shouldn’t. It’s just going to cloud my judgment and melt my heart with it’s yummy goodness. I can’t give him a pancake pardon. Not with this.

I swallow my first bite, still resolved. “I’m not forgiving you.”

“I know.”

“I can’t ever forgive you.”

“I know.”

I set down the fork. “You hurt me so bad, Preston. I never wanted to love again, and the fact that I do love again and that that person is you devastates me.”

He crouches beside me. “I did so many horrible things to you. So many stupid, horrible things. I allowed everything else to get in the way of what I really wanted, of what really made me happy, of what really mattered. All because I was too stupid to recognize how much I loved you and incapable of communicating just how much.”

I shut my eyes. “I thought…I thought it meant something. You told me you loved me.”

“I did,” he whispers. “I did.”

I continue, “And I went to bed thinking that it meant something. Thinking that it was something beautiful. That I loved you, too. I even said it. And then…the night after we…the very next morning…I woke up and I found you in bed with two girls. Sleeping with them.”

He shuts his eyes. “I don’t even remember, Tachell.”

“I know, and I can’t deal with that either. It was the most important moment of my life and you don’t even remember it. I thought that since you didn’t remember, I could pretend like it never happened, but I can’t.”

His shoulders shake. “I’m so sorry. That would have been the most beautiful moment of my life, and I can’t remember it. I’ll never remember it, Tachell. And, even though it meant so much to me, I made you regret it.”

“How can it mean so much to you when you can’t even remember?” I whisper.

He looks at me, eyes glassy and blue. “I told you I loved you, didn’t I? I dreamed of telling you that every day. And I dreamed that, after I told you, we’d make love and spend the night together. I dreamed of holding you against me and looking down at your sleeping body beside mine. I dreamed of whispering that I loved you, again, as you slept. I had that. I had that, and I ruined it. I’m so sorry.”

He leans in close. His minty breath spills over my cheeks.

Ask me to forgive you.

He doesn’t.

He wouldn’t.

This is too big, and he knows that he can’t ask that. It’s up to me to decide if I want him or not. I know now, more than ever, that if I walked away he would let me go. He would accept my decision. And even though he accepted it, he would still support me and his child. He would still love us both. He would spend a lifetime repenting.

I swallow.

It was so hard to forgive. So hard to move past all this pain and all this pride. But there is a time to stand up for yourself, and there is a time to extend a hand to the person who needs you.

Preston didn’t just want a lover. He wanted a partner. It’s why he liked it when I talked back, when I fought against him, when I refused to let him steamroll over me. He was a hot billionaire who was used to everyone letting him have his way, and he liked that I never did.

I set down the pancakes.

He shudders as if I’ve just told him I never wanted to talk to him again, but that’s not what that gesture means. I reach for him.

He stills when I make contact and looks at my hand like he can’t believe it’s really there.

“Look, I was young. You were young, too,” I say.

“It’s no excuse,” he whispers.

“I know. You’re not making excuses. You’re accepting my judgment. And that’s why I have to forgive you.”

He blinks up at me. “What?”

“You didn’t remember. I think my pride couldn’t handle it. I mean, shit, I still can’t totally handle it. It was my first time. But then again, I should have chosen a better first time with you. I knew you were drunk, but I was so eager for it to happen that I looked past it. I should have forced a commitment if I wanted one. You didn’t remember, and we weren’t together at that time.”

“Tachell, that doesn’t excuse what happened.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t. But I can’t just keep hating you because you wounded my pride. That isn’t a good reason.”

“I like your pride,” he tells me.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to be queen of the mountain all the time. I can let things in. Like love, and forgiveness.” I touch my stomach. “We have a baby on the way, and I’m going to need to put my pride aside to do what’s best for her, for my partner, and for myself. Strength is what matters. And I wasn’t strong with you. I never told you how I felt because I couldn’t accept it. I was afraid of being burned, and I hid that fear behind my pride. I was basically doing the same thing you were doing, albeit in a slightly more sophisticated manner. I mean, Preston, you’re only supposed to tease the girl you like in second grade, not every grade after and well into adulthood.”

He runs his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I kind of blew it.”

“Not completely. You’ve got a secret weapon.” I look down at the half eaten pancakes. “No girl can say no to those.”

He laughs. “You know, most would say no girl could say no to my billions.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got some standards.”

He grins. “Pancakes over diamonds.”

“Hey, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves! But yeah, I would prefer a plate of pancakes when you mess up over a diamond necklace any day.”

“I think that’s just because you know I’ll already spoil you with diamonds every chance I get.”

“Well, you also told me you’d make pancakes for me every morning for the rest of my life. You’ve missed a few mornings so far.”

His eyes go dark. “I guess that just means I’m going to have to make it up to you in other ways.”

“Well aren’t you cocky.”

“That’s only because I know you can’t take your eyes off my cock.”

Damn. He had a point there. I laugh as he puts his arm around me and gently pulls me in for a kiss.

And he kisses me again.

And again.

And again.

These perfect, sweet, beautiful kisses that flutter in my heart and make me float as if I have wings, surrounded by the scent of lavender and white roses.

Epilogue