The Billionaire's Second Chance (30 page)

Nick’s fingers traced the leg openings of her panties and trembled slightly when encountering the moist evidence of her arousal. He slipped
several
finger
s
into those satiny briefs and tried not to lose his shit completely when he discovered more than just a bit of d
amp desire. H
is fingers were drenched with the hot, creamy proof of her unmistakable response to him. Nick was overjoyed and bursting with feeling as he sighed and slipped a finger between the pouting, wet lips of her sex and gently slid into her aching depths.

Shannon cried out in helpless arousal one secon
d and then stiffened the next. Nick was s
o completely absorbed in her response that he reacted instantly when her reaction to abruptly changed. “What’s the matter? Are you alright?” he husked in a sexy aroused groan.

Horrified by how far she’d let things go
,
Shannon struggled to get out of his arms only to find Nick holding her even tighter. “Whoa, whoa.” He cried out. “What’s happening here Shannon? Talk to me sweetheart.”

“Oh god
,
Nick.
Please let me up. I’m so sorry. So sorry,” she wailed. “I never should have let things go too far. This is my fault!” she cried in alarm.

“Shannon, babe,” Nick cut in. “There’s no fault little one. Just tell me what’s going on. Please.”

Shannon groaned and leaned her head against the center of his chest effectively hiding her face from him. “I’m such a fool.” she whispered a moment before she raised her eyes to his.

“I’m not ready for this Nick. I don’t want to have sex with you!” she exclaimed with genuine sincerity bringing a frown of disbelief from Nick followed by one of his cheeky grins which suggested that she did indeed want to sleep with him.

“Okay, maybe I said that wrong. I can’t
just
have sex Nick. It’s not me. Not how I work.” Shannon declar
ed.
“There needs to be more than just going to
bed together and I don’t … well,
I don’t know what’s happening here between us.”

Shannon tried to reel in the anxiety that was tearing her up inside.

“I’m just so confused. It’s, um,” she shrugged and looked away. “
a
ll
so overwhelming. Last week I never would have dreamed we’d see each other ever again much less be together like this.”

She gripped the shirt he wore which she had unbuttoned with her own hands in desperation to make intimate contact with the skin underneath. “Where is all this leading Nick? Are we just scratching an itch? I can’t
do
that!” she cried in exasperated confusion.

The light bulb went off over Nick’s head when he heard the
growing
anxiety in her voice. She was telling him something he already knew. Something he knew intimately. Shannon was the real deal. She would never be able to simply have a sexual encounter for the sake of satisfying even the most driven desires. She wanted to be loved, wanted their intimacy to mean something deep and lasting.

“I can’t sleep with you because just because we got carried away by passion. And not because I seduced you into a situation that got out of control.”

That Shannon wanted to believe she had been the seducer was the cutest thing she’d ever said he decided with a deep sigh. He also realized he’d been the fool, not her. Of course she wanted more. He’d slashed and burned what they’d built between them before and he’d be damned if he’d make the same mistakes this time around.

In his haste and determination to set things right he’d overlooked a particularly critical step. The one where he declared his heart to her and made clear what he hoped they could build together. Shannon wasn’t the type to get involved intimately without there being more than sex on the menu.

Smiling tenderly at her discomfiture Nick ran his hands lightly up and down her arms to ease her shaking limbs. This was an easy problem to solve.

“I don’t want to have sex with you either, Shannon.”

At that, Shannon snapped frowning eyes his way
.
“What?” she squeaked in an endearing blend of curiosity and embarrassment. Good, Nick thought to himself
.
That
certainly
got her attention.

“Sex isn’t nearly enough for me either
,
little one. It never was and never will be.”

Shannon sat there in silent suspense not really knowing what to expect next. She felt dreadful that she’d gotten carried away and then freaked out like a scared virgin
,
afraid of the wicked beast her wanton behavior had unleashed.

“You ask what I want. Where I see all this is leading. I should have said this sooner but since the party, everything has been moving so fast.” And with that Nick pulled half a grimace making Shannon remember that this was happening to both of them.

Fixing her with a steady look
he continued
holding
her on his lap, his hands stroking from time to time up and down her arms
,
Shannon listened to her heart and gave him her full attention and regard. A little voice inside her was whispering a hopeful prayer,
‘Please let everything
be
okay.’
Hearing the sound of her deepest thoughts expressed so clearly helped Shannon find the confidence and faith she needed to stay where she was and trust the cowboy pirate staring so intently into her soul.

“This is not about the sex, although we would both be telling a terrible lie
if we
pretend
ed
that what we feel isn’t as powerful and overwhelming now
,
as it was before.”

He waited for her agreement which to Shannon’s credit
she gave without hesitation; looking
back at him in wide-eyed wonder with a small confirming shake of her head acknowledging that yes
,
indeed
,
she also felt the staggering power of their mutual attraction.

Grateful for her total lack of artifice and willingness t
o be honest, Nick smiled gently, leaning
in to rest his forehead against hers. From this position he could feel her shallow breathing and sense her confusion which he hoped to set at ease in short order.

“This doesn’t seem like a good time for
beating around the bush
,” Nick said lightly when he pulled back, “so it’s my time to be brave and fearless … to tell you what’s in my heart. You deserve that
and so much more sweetheart.” h
e added in a strained, choked up voice.

“Simply put, I love you. Always have, always will and nothing could ever change that. I am totally to blame for the eight years of hell we’ve both endured and I tell you from the bottom of my heart that I will spend the rest of my life doing whatever is necessary to make it better for you, for us.”

Wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, Shannon relaxed into his frame laying a shaking hand on his chest. She needed to stay connected to him; feeling his strong heart thumping steadily under her touch grounded her and
conjured up
a sensation of coming together that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Nodding as though he had heard her thoughts Nick just said
,
“Yes.” as he let the moment speak for itself.

“I want it all Shannon. The way it was. Every tingling, moony-eyed sensation. I want you in my life and yes, in my bed. I want to wake up every morning and know you are there by my side. Where you belong, by the way!” he said as his fingers tightened where he held her.

“I want to talk with you about our days and make plans for the future. I want to be there when you laugh and help you when you cry. I don’t ever want you to think you’re alone again
,
little one.”

Nick’s heart melted just a bit when her bright eyes showed the beginning of tears welling. It was she who was brave and fearless he thought as his humbled awareness of her fragility where he was concerned hit home with a vengeance.

“Shannon, my love. I adore you
.
F
or me
, this
is forever. As in
always
. The end-game is happily ever after and all which that implies.
Fancy dress, big wedding, quick trip to Vegas,
shorts and t-shirts on the beach,
whatever you want
,
sweetness
’.”

Two, big, fat tears rolled down
Shannon’s
cheeks.

“I want the full Mr. and Mrs. future where I spoil you rotten and you hush that sassy mouth and let me.” Nick added with a wink. “If I take over, kick me in the shins and tell me to cut it out!” he added bringing a tiny giggle and shy upward glance from the goddess warming his lap.

“
This is for real Shannon. For keeps. I want it
all
. The wife, the commitment the future we were always meant to have. Don’t you want it too? All of it? The house with a killer kitchen for your personal chef, who by the way just happens to be your husband! A garden full of anything your green thumb desires?
A house full of love and kids
along with
a suburban mommy car in the driveway.
Maybe even a dog!” he ended in laughter.

Shannon had been dreamily following along as she took in Nick’s fervent accounting of where he wanted them to end up. Everything was close approaching perfect until the word
kids
invaded her brain. The tears which had receded came back with alarming speed when the image of Nick and his children appeared in her mind’s eye.

The tightening in her chest told Shannon she had to tell him and she had to do it now. There would never be a better time. He was opening himself up to her,
showing
a vulnerability that whispered louder than any shouted words ever could. She had to tell him about the life they’d created and how losing that spark of existence had almost extinguished the light in her soul. He deserved to know the whole truth if the future he was laying out was to have any hope.

It was now or never Shannon thought as she opened her mouth to speak. “Nick, there’s something I need to ………” and that was as far as she got before he put two fingers against her lips to effectively silence what she had been about to say.

“No Shannon. You don’t need to say anything. There have already been too many words between us. Words have gotten us nowhere. My terrible words when we parted, some of the painful things we’ve said to each other
the last couple of days
. It has to stop here and now. Don’t think baby, just feel.”

Her mind did a series of impressive gymnastic moves as she considered what he was trying to say.

“No, I don’t want to have
just
sex with you either. I want to feel what we had before. When the time is right we are going to make love and when that happens you’ll know without words how right we are together.”

Her eyes were glued to his face.
“Yes, I want to marry you but know this Shannon, when you are ready, when you come to me and say
Yes
, that will be as sacred, if not more so, than any ceremony or pledge could ever be. Our joining in body and spirit will be
the beginning of
our true marriage
,
little
. Have no doubt about that.”

He pulled her close then, faces in each other’s neck; arms clutched tightly around the other and just held on. Shannon’s heart was thumping wildly as she considered what he’d said. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with Nick having cut off what she’d been going to say but she knew he was also right about the words having driven a wedge between them

He’d surprised her in more ways than she could wrap her mind around. Whatever trepidation she’d been nursing about motives or where their new relationship was headed had been swept away by the profound and reverent way he had spoken of their coming together.

“I know you need time to think and while my manhood is trying to override letting you decide what’s best for you, sorry about that by the way,” he shrugged, “nothing happens that you aren’t
one hundred percent
okay with. Can you trust me on this Shannon? I hope so,” he added “because you have my heart and my soul in your hands. It’s all up to you.”

“Oh Nick,” Shannon sighed, “I’m sorry for being such an emotional mess. I have faith in you.” she whispered as her hand went back to his chest where she could find his heartbeat again.

“Even when I thought everything between us was lost….there was still a
glimmer
alive deep inside me. You spoke your truth
. M
ine
is
,
that all this time I secretly clung to the dream that you would somehow
find your way
back to me. I like that saying, ‘dreams are wishes the heart makes’ because I see how true it is in my life. Thank you for telling me what is in your heart.”