The Birth Order Book (42 page)

5. Birth order information does not give the total psychological picture for anyone. No system of personality development can do that. Birth order statistics and characteristics are indicators that combine with physical, mental, and emotional factors to give the bigger picture.

6. Understanding some basic principles of birth order is not a formula for automatically solving problems or changing your personality overnight. Changing oneself is the hardest task any human being can attempt; it takes lots of work and determination.

“Guess the Birth Order”
Quiz Answers

F
irstborn or only child, middle child, or lastborn/baby of the family? See if your answers from page 11 were right.

1. My sister was a charming show-off—make that a con artist who got away with everything—when we were growing up. Now she’s the top salesperson in her company and highly successful.

Answer: baby of the family

2. I’d rather read people than books. I like solving problems and am comfortable being surrounded by people.

Answer: middle child

3. My brother Al was nicknamed “Albert Einstein” because he was so good in math and science. He’s an engineer now and a conscientious perfectionist.

Answer: firstborn

4. I don’t know how my husband does it. His workshop is an absolute mess, but whenever he wants to find something, he knows exactly which pile it’s in.

Answer: firstborn

5. My friend is a bit of a maverick. She has a lot of friends but values her independence. She’s a good mediator in arguments. She’s about as opposite from her sister as you can get.

Answer: middle child

6. I get along better with older people than I do my peers. Some people think I’m stuck-up or self-centered. But in actuality, I’m not.

Answer: only child

US Presidents
and Their Birth Order

George Washington
—fifth child of father, first of mother; ten-year gap before his birth

John Adams
—oldest of three boys

Thomas Jefferson
—third of ten; oldest son

James Madison
—oldest of twelve

James Monroe
—oldest of five

John Quincy Adams
—second of five; oldest son

Andrew Jackson
—youngest of three sons; two years between him and older brother

Martin Van Buren
—third of five; three older half siblings; two years between him and older sibling

William Henry Harrison
—youngest of seven; oldest son

John Tyler
—sixth of eight; second son; two years between him and older brother

James K. Polk
—oldest of ten

Zachary Taylor
—third of nine; third son; two years between him and older brother

Millard Fillmore
—second of nine; oldest son

Franklin Pierce
—seventh child of father (sixth of eight in second marriage); one year between him and older brother

James Buchanan
—second of eleven; oldest son

Abraham Lincoln
—second child of three (in father’s first marriage); oldest and only surviving son

Andrew Johnson
—third of three; second son; four years between him and older brother

Ulysses S. Grant
—oldest of six

Rutherford B. Hayes
—youngest of five; seven years between him and older brother, with two sisters between them

James Garfield
—youngest of five; five years between him and older brother

Chester Arthur
—fifth of nine; oldest son

Grover Cleveland
—fifth of nine; two years between him and older brother

Benjamin Harrison
—fifth of thirteen (second of ten in second marriage); one year between him and older brother

William McKinley
—seventh of nine; at least five years between him and older brother

Theodore Roosevelt
—second of four; oldest son

William Howard Taft
—seventh of ten (second of five in second marriage); two years between him and older brother

Woodrow Wilson
—third of four; six years between him and older brother, with one sister between them

Warren G. Harding
—oldest of eight

Calvin Coolidge
—oldest of two (in father’s first marriage)

Herbert Hoover
—second of three; second son; three years between him and older brother

Franklin Roosevelt
—second son (functional only child from father’s second marriage); twenty-eight years between him and older half brother

Harry S. Truman
—oldest of three

Dwight Eisenhower
—third of seven sons; one year between him and older brother

John F. Kennedy
—second of nine; second son; two years between him and older brother

Lyndon Johnson
—oldest of five

Richard Nixon
—second of five sons; four years between him and older brother

Gerald Ford
—only child of parents’ first marriage (three half siblings in father’s second marriage; three half siblings in mother’s second marriage)

Jimmy Carter
—oldest of four (Billy was the baby)

Ronald Reagan
—youngest of two; two years between him and older brother

George Bush
—second of five; second son; two years between him and older brother

Bill Clinton
—only child (in mother’s first marriage); one younger half brother

George W. Bush
—oldest of six

Barack Obama
—functional only child (half sister nine years removed from him)

Notes

Chapter 1 Birth Order

1
. See Richard W. Bradley, “Using Birth Order and Sibling Dynamics in Career Counseling,”
The Personnel and Guidance Journal
(September 1982): 25. Bradley quotes from the article “Is First Best?”
Newsweek
, January 6, 1969, 37.

2
. Deborah Skolnik, “Does Birth Order Matter?” October 12, 2007,
http://www.parenting.com/article/Child/Development/Does-Birth-Order-Matter
.

3
. R. L. Adams and B. N. Phillips, “Motivation and Achievement Differences among Children of the Various Ordinal Birth Positions,”
Child Development
(March 1972): 157.

4
. Sally Leman Chall,
Making God Real to Your Children
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 1991);
Mommy Appleseed
(Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 1993).

5
. Walter Toman,
Family Constellation
(New York: Springer, 1976), 33.

6
. Ibid., 5.

7
. James H. S. Bossard,
The Large Family System
(Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1966), 79.

Chapter 2 But Doc, I Don’t Fit the Mold!

1
. Herb Kelleher, quoted in Tom Peters, “‘Personality’ Has Southwest Flying above Its Competition,”
Arizona Daily Star
, September 26, 1994.

2
. Herb Kelleher, quoted in Kevin Leman,
Winning the Rat Race without Becoming a Rat
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1996), 70.

3
. “Former Arizona Governor Gets Two and a Half-Year Prison Term,”
Los Angeles Times
, February 3, 1998.

4
. Bradford Wilson and George Edington,
First Child, Second Child
(New York: McGraw-Hill, 1981), 259.

5
. Ibid., 282.

Chapter 3 What’s Parenting Got to Do with It?

1
. Lee Iacocca with William Novak,
Iacocca
(New York: Bantam, 1986), 18.

2
. Ibid.

3
. Leman,
Winning the Rat Race
, 152–53.

4
. Statistics provided by the Stepfamily Association of America, Inc., 215 Centennial Mall South, Suite 212, Lincoln, Nebraska 68508-1834.

5
. Kevin Leman,
Living in a Stepfamily without Getting Stepped On
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1994), 23.

6
. Carmi Schooler, “Birth Order Effects: Not Here, Not Now!”
Psychological Bulletin
78, no. 3 (September 1972): 171–72. Schooler concluded that “scores for different birth ranks show no significant difference” and that there is good reason to doubt “the importance of birth order as a determinant of behavior.”

7
. Cecile Ernst and Jules Angst,
Birth Order: Its Influence on Personality
(New York: Springer-Verlag, 1983), 242.

8
. Joseph Rodgers, quoted in Geoffrey Cowley, “First Born, Later Born,”
Newsweek
, October 7, 1996, 68.

9
. Judith Blake, quoted in Kenneth L. Woodward with Lydia Denworth, “The Order of Innovation,”
Newsweek
, May 21, 1990, 76.

10
. Leman,
Winning the Rat Race
, 17.

11
. Ibid., 118. The Dingman Company specializes in finding the right executive for the right company.

12
. Ibid.

13
. Frank J. Sulloway, in Robert S. Boynton, “The Birth of an Idea,”
The New Yorker
, October 7, 1996, 72.

14
. Frank J. Sulloway,
Born to Rebel: Birth Order Family Dynamics and Creative Lives
(New York: Pantheon, 1996).

Chapter 4 First Come, First Served

1
. Only children are sometimes called “super firstborns” because they have many firstborn characteristics that are exaggerated to some degree. That and other differences between only children and firstborns will be discussed in chapter 7.

2
. Kevin Leman,
Born to Win
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 2009).

3
. We (the editors) affirm Dr. Leman’s lack of editorial comprehension.

4
. Harvey Mackay,
Beware the Naked Man Who Offers You His Shirt
(New York: Ivy Books, 1990), 24.

5
. Leman,
Winning the Rat Race
, 64.

6
. Ibid., 26.

Chapter 5 How Good Is “Good Enough”?

1
. Jane Goodsell,
Not a Good Word about Anybody
(New York: Ballantine, 1988), 46, 50.

2
. Fritz Ridenour,
Untying Your Knots
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 1988), 112. Used by permission.

3
. Kevin Leman,
When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough: The Secret of Measuring Up
(Grand Rapids: Revell, 2007). This book is being reissued by the publisher as
Why Your Best Is Good Enough
in March 2010.